宋飞正传（1990）

Seinfeld S03E06

Part 1 Dec. 8, 2021, 10:47 a.m.

宋飞正传第三季第6集 “停车♥库♥”
我们很难在商场中去寻找某个店铺尽管那儿有指示路牌…
It's hard to find a store in a mall. They have a directory...
但是随之而来的问题是即使你弄明白你在哪儿
...but the problem with it is, even if you figure out where you are...
以及你想要去哪儿
...and where you wanna go...
有时候你仍然没有真正弄清楚该走哪条路
...you still don't really know, sometimes, which way to walk..
因为这是一个竖直地图
...because it's an upright map.
假设你有像吸盘一样的双脚你才能勉强在上面行走
If you had, like, suction-cup feet, then you could just walk right up on it.
然后你可以说，你能在上面行走 “好，我在这儿”
Then you could tell, you could be on it going, "All right, I'm here.
“我想去盖普（美国最大服装零售店）它就在下边”
I wanna go to the Gap. That's down there.
“那好，我就从那条路过去”
All right, I'll just walk that way. "
但人们会知道他们会看到你沿着商店向下走
But people would know. They would see you walking down the mall going:
他们会说 “那就是那些吸盘人之一”
They'd go, "That's one of those suction-cup guys.
“我听说过那家伙他从不迷路”
I heard about that guy. He's never lost. "
剩最后一台了真不像话
One left. What a joke.
你可以要这台 - 对我的客厅而言
You can have this one. -That's not enough BTUs...
这台瓦数不够 - 完全是在浪费时间
...for my living room. This was a waste of time.
我也没买♥♥到空调
I didn't get one either.
为什么我总是有这种感觉
Why do I always have the feeling...
任何人在星期六干的事都比我要舒服
...everybody's doing something better than me on Saturdays?
普通人就是这样 - 不，才不是
This is what people do. -No, they don't.
他们出去参加集体野餐他们烤汉堡
They're out on some big picnic, they're cooking burgers...
在毯子上鬼混
...making out on blankets.
他们不会在泽西城的某个商场里
They're not at some mall in Jersey...
观看他们的朋友们试图去淘世上最便宜的空调
...watching their friends trying to find the world's cheapest air conditioner.
你应该看看我父亲在买♥♥新车之前曾经都做些什么
You should see what my father used to do before he bought a new car.
他会从一个州到另一个州他出去一次就好几个星期
He'd go from state to state. He was away for weeks at a time.
像他正竞选总统似的经历着初选
Like he's running for president and going through the primaries.
我们会接到电♥话♥ 从新汉普郡打过来的
We'd get phone calls from New Hampshire.
我们只是出去逛了逛有什么大不了的？
We took a little ride, what's the big deal?
至少你还完成了件事你买♥♥了鱼
At least you accomplished something. You got fish.
哦，真是个大事
Oh, big accomplishment.
鱼，它们在干嘛？
Fish. What do they do?
你干嘛？ - 嗨，这边走！
What do you do? -Hey, this way!
杰瑞，你表几点了？
Jerry, what time do you have?
我的是5:00
I have 5:00.
总是迟到，总是迟到 - 你没迟到
Always late. Always late. -You're not late.
我告诉过他们 6:15在我楼前跟我见面
I told them to meet me in front of my building at 6:15.
谁？ - 我父母，今天是他们周年纪念日
Who? -My parents. It's their anniversary.
今晚我准备带他们出去吃饭然后看表演
I'm taking them out to dinner and a show tonight.
有没想过我们会碰上堵车？ - 当然，现在是高峰时段
Think we'll hit traffic? -Of course. It's rush hour.
有没有其他的路？ - 仅此一条
Isn't it the other way? -There's no other way.
始终是每条路都很多人
Everybody goes every way all the time.
但今天星期六 - 你会碰上野餐和烤汉堡车流了
But it's Saturday. -You got the picnic and burger traffic.
有野餐流吗？ - 正像我祖父曾说的：
There's picnic traffic? -As my grandfather used to say:
“有时候甚至野餐并不是野餐”
"Sometimes even a picnic's no picnic."
我总是让自己陷入这种状况不能准时，弄得很仓促
I always get myself in this position. Can't be on time. Gotta rush.
怎么了？
What's the matter?
我得去一趟卫生间
I have to go to the bathroom.
他们为什么把卫生间都藏在这些商场里？
Why do they hide the bathrooms in these malls?
你要我帮你抬抬吗？ - 不用，我能应付
You want me to help you with that? -No, I got it.
觉得怎么样，乔治小子？
What do you think, Georgie boy?
我需要你给我指出来吗？
Did I need that pointed out for me?
这能让我做什么？这怎么能帮上我，去看看她？
What is that gonna do for me? How does that help me, to see her?
我正试图过自己的生活别给我指那玩意
I'm trying to live my life. Don't show me that.
哦，如果你喜欢她过去跟她聊聊
Well, if you like her, go and talk to her.
对，在停车♥库♥里女人喜欢与人亲近
Yeah, women love to get approached in parking garages.
我会走过去说 “嗨，你好，想来杯白酒吗？”
I'll go up and say, " Hi, how you doing? Would you like a glass of white wine?"
你靠近到4、5米内，她就会把指头按在喷雾器按钮上了
You get within 15 feet, she'd have her finger on the Mace button.
那是男人
That was a guy.
那是男人？ - 车在哪儿？
That was a guy? -Where's the car?
哦，我原以为在这儿
Well, I thought it was here.
你不知道我们停哪儿了？
You don't know where we parked?
哦，太棒了 - 瞧，我原以为是绿色22号♥
Oh, this is great. -Look, I thought it was Green 22.
我记得橙色我认为是橙色
I remember Orange. I thought it was Orange.
我没留心过 - 这就是我所要的
I didn't pay attention. -This is just what I need.
我可以肯定就在这周围
I'm sure it's right around here.
是，这看起来很熟我记得那个电梯
Yeah, it looks familiar. I remember the elevator.
这儿到处都有电梯！所有东西看起来都一样！
There's elevators all over! Everything looks the same!
我们就像有些试验中的老鼠
We're like rats in some experiment.
在那儿，我知道在哪儿了
It's over there. I know where it is.
是黑色的，对吗？ - 哦，是深棕色
It's black, right? -Well, it's dark brown.
在停车处时，你把它写下来那有什么难的呢？
In a parking lot, you write it down. How hard is that?
在这儿
There it is.
不，不
No, no.
那是辆丰田
That's a Toyota.
我还以为… - 嘿，我们是从那边进来的吗？
I thought it was... -Hey, didn't we come in over there?
我想我们从那边进来的
I thought we came in over there.
鱼能在塑料袋里活多久？
How long can fish live in one of these plastic bags?
不知道，也许两小时
I don't know. Maybe two hours.
你最好把车找到
You better find this car.
我们到这边试试
Let's try this way.
我真的得去一趟卫生间
I really have to go to the bathroom.
你为什么不到这些车后面解决一下？
Why don't you just go behind one of these cars.
为什么？这周围没人 - 我再忍♥忍♥
Why? There's nobody around. -I'll wait.
你这样憋着，会对你的膀胱产生极大的损伤
You hold it in like that, you can cause a lot of damage to your bladder.
卡车司机们就发生过这种事
That's what happens to truck drivers.
他们一直憋着，最后…
They hold it in all the time and eventually...
不知不觉就流出来了 - 够了
...it starts to come out involuntarily. -All right.
杰瑞，你有没有意识到成人尿布是个每年6亿美元的产业？
Jerry, are you aware that adult diapers are a $600-million-a-year industry?
也许每当有欲望时我就该像你一样立马解决
Maybe I should just go any time I get the urge,
不管我在哪儿
like you, wherever I am.
社会上有太多自♥由♥小便主义忍♥着让我觉得很自豪
There's too much urinary freedom in this society. I'm proud to hold it in.
这很有性格
It builds character.
是那辆吗？ - 不是
Is that it? -No.
嘿！小心点！
Hey! Watch it!
疯子
Maniac.
你确定不要我帮你抬？
You sure you don't want help with that?
我准备把它放在那辆车后面 (为了营造真实效果，克莱默的演员真的放入了一台空调)
I'm gonna put it down behind that car.
不怕有人在上面撒尿？
Worried somebody's gonna pee on it?
这是紫色23号♥，记住 - 哦，我记住了
It's Purple 23. Remember that. -Oh, I got it.
那是我应该记得的至于车在哪儿，已经不重要了
That I'm supposed to remember. Where the car is, that's insignificant.
我想它们游得很费力了
I think they're labouring.
看看这块地方！真大！
Look at this place! It's huge!
好，我跟你讲
All right, let me say this to you:
如果6:15我不在我家楼下当我父母到那后
If I am not in front of my building at 6:15, when my parents get there...
他们将会分期向我宣泄他们的愤怒
...they're gonna put me on an aggravation instalment plan...
那将是连本带利的持续好几十年
...that will compound, with interest, for decades.
父母们从不忘记因粗心而犯的大错
Parents never forget a foul-up.
我14岁的时候曾经把夹克落在公交车上
I once left my jacket on a bus when I was 14.
我飞往芝加哥，就在上星期在飞机上
I was flying to Chicago, last week, on a plane:
“确定你把你的夹克看好”
"Make sure you hang on to your jacket."
你没办法给他们打电♥话♥吗？
There's no way you can call them?
是，我会打他们的车载电♥话♥ - 他父母怎么会…
Yeah, I'll call them on their car phone. -What would it take...
有车载电♥话♥？ - 被外星人催眠了
...for his parents to get a car phone? -Hypnosis by aliens.
这该死的车在哪儿，克莱默？我们需要组织性
Where the hell is this car, Kramer? -We need a system.
哦，应该是在这儿
Well, it's gotta be here.
为什么他们用这么多颜色？
Why are they using so many colours?
数字都到40了
The numbers go up to 40.
也许不是在这层上
Maybe it's not on this level.
什么？ - 这儿有四层
What? -There's four different levels.
也许我们搞错层了
Maybe we're on the wrong level.
电梯乘了多久？ - 我感觉过了好几层
How long was the escalator ride up? -It felt like a couple of levels.
你应该经常带个便笺和笔
You should always bring a pad and a pen.
我不能带笔我担心我会刺破我的阴囊
I can't carry a pen. I'm afraid I'll puncture my scrotum.
我带笔了
I got a pen.
这商场的卫生间在哪儿？
Where is the bathroom in this mall?
这儿有600家店铺我就没看到一个卫生间
There's 600 stores, I didn't see one bathroom.
这像什么话，开玩笑吧？
What is this, like, a joke?
难道他们造这些地方的时候就没有咨♥询♥过泌尿科医生？
Don't they consult with a urologist when they build one of these places?
你怎么了？ - 我耳朵痒
What's with you? -My ear itches.
你竟敢那样跟我讲话听到了没？