宋飞正传（1990）

Seinfeld S03E02

Part 2 Dec. 8, 2021, 10:47 a.m.

千刀万剐
Ripped the flesh right off his bones.
谁？ - 乔治
Yeah? -It's George.
上来吧
Come on up.
他来了，他自己…
There he is, the man himself...
乔治·路易斯·克斯坦萨
...George Louis Costanza.
我，即将坐上电椅…
Here I am, about to go to the electric chair...
而我的老友正与州长约会
...and my oldest friend is dating the governor.
我这一辈子算是白活了
My whole life has been a complete waste of time.
日子还长着呢
And there's so much more to go.
我知道自己该怎么做了太简单了
Now I know what I'm supposed to do. It is so simple.
说真话，就这么简单仅仅是说出真话
Tell the truth. That's all. Just tell the truth.
你把我的税务单给她了？ - 什么？
You give her my tax papers? -What?
我的单子
My papers?
怎么了？
What?
哦，单子
Oh, the papers.
你没给她那些单子？ - 不，我给了
You didn't give her the papers? -No, I did.
然后？
So?
我和她分手了
I broke up with her.
你什么？ - 我和她分手了
You what? -I broke up with her.
我正在被审计…
I'm being audited...
而你跟她分手了？ - 没事
...and you broke up with her? -It's okay. It's fine.
她会搞定的，我敢说她会的 - 为什么？为什么她还会帮忙？
She'll do it. I'm sure she'll still do it. -Why? Why will she still do it?
她现在讨厌你，你把别人甩了之后别人就不会帮你了
She hates you now. People don't do you favours after you dump them.
没，没，我们关系依然很好
No, no. We left on good terms.
这怎么可能？
How is that possible?
因为…我对她说了真话
Because l... I told her the truth.
哦，天啊 - 没事
Oh, my God. -Okay.
第一次听说 - 她让我讲的
It's unheard of. -She asked me to.
那么你撒谎啊
So you lie.
你对她说什么了？ - 我说她自命不凡
What did you tell her? -I told her that she was pretentious.
自命不凡？
Pretentious?
那女人拿了我的税务单你却对她说她自命不凡？
The woman has my tax papers. You told her she's pretentious?
美国国税局…
The IRS...
他们就像黑♥手♥党♥一样喜欢什么就拿什么
...they're like the Mafia. They take anything they want.
要是别人对你讲了真话你怎么想？
How would you like it if someone told you the truth?
什么？他们会说什么？ - 多了去了
What? What could they say? -There are plenty of things to say.
例如？我是秃子？很特别吗？
Like what? I'm bald? What is it specifically?
我身上有自己闻不到的异味？
Is there an odour I'm not aware of?
拜托，乔治 - 说一个
George, please. -Give me one.
真想听？ - 是的
You sure? -Yes.
好
Okay.
你太…
You're extremely...
在乎钱了
...careful with money.
我什么？
I'm what?
当我没说 - 我小气？你觉得我小气？
Forget it. -I'm cheap? You think I'm cheap?!
你怎么能这么说我？真不敢相信
How could you say that to me? I can't believe this!
你怎么能这么说我？ - 你让我说的
How could you say that to me? -You asked me to.
你应该撒谎 - 你也是
You should've lied. -So should you!
等一下，我的单子怎么样？
Okay, wait a second. What happened to my papers?
我现在没有工作 - 我知道
I'm not really working right now. -I know.
我工作的时候也花钱的，宝贝！
When I was working, I spent, baby!
我知道香槟、豪华轿车、雪茄
Yeah, I know. Champagne, limos, cigars.
我的单子怎么样？
What happened to the papers?
她放到她的钱包里了我猜她肯定带走了
She put them in her pocketbook. I guess she took them.
一个钱包还是手提包？ - 有区别吗？反正拿走了
A pocketbook or a handbag? -Is that relevant? She took them.
打她办公室电♥话♥
Call her office.
电♥话♥给我
Give me the phone.
嗨，我找帕特莱斯
Yeah, hi, I'd like to speak to Patrice.
什么？
What?
真的
Oh, really.
好的，谢谢
Oh, okay. Thank you.
什么？什么？
What? What?
她午饭后没回去
She never came back from lunch.
此事不妙
This is no good.
此事不妙啊
This is no good.
打她家电♥话♥
Call her house.
你还好吗？
Hi. Are you okay?
别，别，别…
No, no. No...
她挂了
She hung up.
不妙
Not good.
没事，没什么好担心的
All right, look, there's nothing to be worried about.
她只是有点生气
She's just a little annoyed right now.
明天，我亲自过去找她
Tomorrow, I'll personally go over there.
我向她道歉，然后拿回那些单子
I'll apologize. I'll get the papers.
别担心，别担心
Don't worry. Don't worry.
不妙
Not good.
是块挡风玻璃
Yeah, it's a windshield.
我能看出来，干什么用？
I can see that. What's it for?
我在路上捡的
I found it on the road.
谁？ - 我刚下班
Yeah? -I just finished working out.
你忙吗？ - 不忙，上来吧
Are you busy? -No. Come on up.
你相信吗？有人扔这个？
Can you believe somebody threw this out?
我要用这个做张咖啡桌给蒂娜一个惊喜
I'm gonna make a coffee table out of this and surprise Tina.
会不会看不到？
Well, wouldn't it be invisible?
我是说，要靠下意识来感觉它在长椅前？
I mean, what, are you gonna just sense it's in front of the couch?
这个…
Well...
你好 - 你好
Hello.
你俩这是唱哪出？
What's with you two?
你没告诉他？ - 告诉我什么？
You haven't told him? -Told me what?
快点，告诉他
Go ahead, tell him.
我看到她没穿衣服
I saw her naked.
他看到我没穿衣服
He saw me naked.
克莱默看到我没穿衣服
Kramer saw me naked.
不是有意的
Well, it was an accident.
谁进女人的卧室不敲门啊？我倒想知道知道
Who walks into a woman's bedroom without knocking? I wanna know.
我以为是个衣柜
I thought it was a closet.
什么都没穿？
Completely naked?
什么都没穿
Completely naked.
杰瑞，让我怎么活啊？
Jerry, how can I go on?
好了，假如能让你好受些我让你看我裸体
All right, if it's gonna make you feel any better, you can see me naked.
免了，谢了
No, thank you.
别，我想让你看我裸体 - 免了，免了
No, I want you to see me naked. -No, no, no.
我让你看 - 别！杰瑞！
I wanna show you. -No! Jerry!
停，停一下！
Hold it. Just a second.
大家都别乱
Let's not lose our heads here.
克莱默，你知道你在我这一向受欢迎…
Kramer, you know you're always welcome in my home...
除了约翰逊先生担心…
...but as far as Mr. Johnson is concerned...
那就是另外一回事了
...that's another story.
这是什么？ - 一块挡风玻璃
What is this? -It's a windshield.
马上就变成你的咖啡桌了
It's going to be your new coffee table.
也许我会因此丧命你甚至都看不到
I'm gonna kill myself on that thing. You can't even see it.
你能感觉到
You'll sense it.
如何？怎么了？她在吗？
Well? What happened? Was she there?
不，她不在
No. No, she wasn't.
你没拿到我的单子？ - 没有
You didn't get my papers? -No, I didn't.
她在哪？
Well, where is she?
精神病院
A mental institution.
为何一♥丝♥不♥挂♥就这么难让人感觉这么不舒服呢？
Why is it so difficult, uncomfortable to be naked?
因为我们身上穿着衣服…
It's because we have clothes on...
就能随时调整一下人们喜欢这么做
...you can always make those little adjustments, which people love to do.
你感觉你跟衣服浑然一体 “我看起来不错”
You feel like you're getting it together. "Yeah, I look pretty good.
“感觉不错，看起来不错”
Feeling good, looking good. "
但是一旦一♥丝♥不♥挂♥ 就像…太直接了
But when you're naked, it's like... It's so final. You're just, "Well...
“就这样”
...that's it.
“只能这样”
There's nothing else I can do. "
这就是为什么我一♥丝♥不♥挂♥ 的时候喜欢带个腰带
That's why I like to wear a belt when I'm naked.
因为它让我有种感觉
Because I feel it gives me something.
就像，“我一♥丝♥不♥挂♥，但是，你知道…”
Some, you know, "I'm naked, but, you know..."
“我想在腰带上挂上口袋，那就会…”
I'd like to get pockets to hang off of the belt. That would be...
“难道这不是终极装备吗？”
Wouldn't that be the ultimate thing?