家有喜旺（2010）

Raising Hope S03E02

Part 2 Nov. 24, 2020, 1:09 p.m.

For example, I have
比如说我养了只小猫
a cat-- her name is Muffin.
我叫它松饼
Oh, my.
亲娘嘞
Thank you.
可爱吧
Anyway, I am a great cat owner.
总之我是个超称职的猫主人
But one time I was at the mall
但有一次我在商场
and Muffin just jumped out of my arms and she landed on her head.
小松饼突然从我怀里跳了出去头部着地
And someone reported me to the SPCA,
有人就向动物保护协会举报了我
and they said that I dropped her, but I didn't.
他们说是我把她扔下去的但其实不是
She jumped.
明明是她自己跳下去的
Was she wearing that outfit when she jumped?
她跳下去的时候穿的就是刚才那行头吗
'Cause you could probably make an argument that she was trying
这样你就能以她有自杀倾向
to commit suicide, which isn't funny at all.
来抗辩了我这笑话是不是太冷了
Can I see that picture? It's adorable.
我能再看一下那张照片吗太可爱了
Hey... The government's here to take the baby.
政♥府♥要带走我们的娃
They think we're putting her in danger.
他们认为我们置她于水深火热
Hurry, toss her over here.
快点把她扔过来
I'll hide her under the car.
我把她藏到车底下去
What's going on?
怎么回事
Social services got a complaint
社工部接到投诉
and now they're here to check on Hope.
派人来这看看喜旺的情况
Complaint? Well, what was it?
投诉投诉什么
I'm guessing it's when you couldn't find a towel.
我猜是因为你没找着毛巾那次
Turn around.
转个身
I'm sure that wasn't it.
肯定不是这个原因
If it's anything, it's that stupid scooter-stroller
就算有问题那也一定是老爸发明的
that dad invented.
那个傻缺滑轮婴儿车
See you at the park, slowpoke!
公园见呆呆兽
You're crazy. People love that thing.
你疯了吧大家都爱死那玩意儿了
They honk their horns and yell, "Hey, scooter-stroller guy!"
他们甚至鸣笛喊我"开滑轮婴儿车的哥们儿"
I might just become a small town novelty
我可能已经成为小镇里的新潮人物了
like Dancin' Dan or that guy with the bunny ears who walks
就像跳舞丹或者抱着紫色十字架
around at night carrying that giant purple cross.
在夜晚穿梭的那个兔耳男
What do they call him?
他们怎么叫他来着
Easter Joe. Easter Joe!
复活乔对复活乔
You don't think someone complained about you, do you?
会不会人家投诉的是你
You said you got a lot of dirty looks
你说过上周在杂货店
at the grocery store last week.
很多人朝你翻白眼
Once she stopped throwing a fit, she was having a blast
以前她闹完就笑
and now she loves being pulled around by shopping carts.
现在她可爱被购物车拖着到处走了
I had to stop her the other day
前几天我还硬生生
from hitching a ride with a homeless guy.
阻止了她搭一个流浪汉的顺风车
Look, guys, you do a really good job with Hope.
各位你们真的把喜旺照顾得很好
I really don't think there's anything to worry about.
我真心觉得没什么好担心的
Well, we can't be too careful.
小心一点总不为过嘛
So, just make everything look okay
只要保证社工走之前
until the social worker leaves.
一切正常就可以了
Clean up this room.
把房♥间打扫干净
Okay, but come on out when you finish the book of job.
读完约伯书就出来
The bible will still be here when you get back.
圣经在这等着你回来哦
This may just be an old lady talking,
我一个老太婆就随便说说
but your ugly kid looks an awful lot like an ugly cat.
但你家这孩子丑得跟只猫似的
Okay, maw maw, let's go.
好了奶奶咱回去吧
You know you're supposed to be in your room.
你该老老实实待在自己屋里
Sorry about that.
真抱歉
My son must forgot to lock her door.
我儿子一定忘了给门上锁了
She's a little batty, but don't worry.
她是有点不正常但别担心
We never leave her alone with the child.
我们从来不会让她单独跟孩子共处的
Oh, that's probably a good idea.
这是个好主意
Let me out! Settle down!
放我出去别吵
We have company.
这有客人呢
Seriously though, wouldn't it be cool
说正经的如果我是小镇名流
if I was a small-town celebrity?
会不会酷毙了
People make fun of Dancin' Dan and Easter Joe,
大家取笑跳舞丹和复活乔
but I know for a fact that Chubby's Burgers gives them
但我听说胖子汉堡店都让他们吃白食
free food if they promise not to urinate in the parking lot.
只要他们保证不在停车场撒尿
I can promise not to do that.
这我也能保证做到
Wha-what is this?
这...这是啥
That's trash, toss it.
垃圾扔了
Ho, ho, ho, nice try.
想蒙混过关吗
Come on, it's time to get rid of this stuff.
该扔了这些破烂玩意儿了
I mean, even the social worker would agree a three-year-old
就连社工都会认同一个三岁的娃
should not have to be confused by
不该陷于入自己玩具和爸爸玩具
what are her toys and what are her daddy's toys.
傻傻分不清楚的苦境
Well, fine.
好吧
You can get rid of a few toys, but the shirt stays.
那些玩具你挑着扔吧但这件衬衫不能丢
Fine, and while we're throwing stuff out,
行啊我们这就开始扔废物
I am done waking up next to this every morning.
我真是受够了每天早上一睁眼就看到这女人
Jennifer! Maggie!
章子怡巩俐
Here I go. We are out of marshmallows.
没有棉花糖了
But I did find a piece of taffy.
但还是被我找到一块太妃糖
Oh, I'm hypoglycemic.
我低血糖
Oh, I have an aunt who has cerebral palsy.
好巧我有个大姨妈脑瘫
Okay, I'm not sure what those two things have
我不明白你说的
to do with each other.
跟我的病有什么关系
Just someone I know with a disease.
我就是想说我也认识一个病人
Didn't want you to feel like you were all alone out there.
好让你觉得自己不是一个人在战斗
Oh, here's our little angel.
我们的小天使来了
That's a little girl.
怎么是个女宝宝
Where is the little boy?
男宝宝去哪了
Excuse me? The complaint is about
你说什么投诉说
a little boy, five years old.
有个五岁的小男孩
He was seen crowd-surfing at a Smokey Floyd concert.
在烟枪老弗的演唱会上被人举在头顶传来传去
That wasn't Hope, that was Jimmy.
那不是喜旺是吉米
That happened 20 years ago.
都20年前的事了
This is embarrassing.
好尴尬
Um, we're a little behind because of budget cuts.
由于预算削减我们的资料有点陈旧
You know, last week, I went to check on a child
上周我是要去看一个
who was being kept in a cage
被关在笼子里的小朋友
and I found a teenager in a pen.
结果看到的是一个困在围栏里的小青年
That better not be the last piece of taffy.
千万别是最后一块太妃糖
Maw maw, no.
奶奶别闹了
Room, room. Room, room, room.
回屋回屋给我回去
I'll go nail the window shut.
我要去把窗户钉死
I'm sorry about that.
真抱歉让你看到这一幕
But, like I said, we try to keep her away
就像我跟你说过的我们尽可能
from the baby as much as possible.
让她跟宝宝保持距离
I see that.
看到了
We're gonna need to change gears here.
咱得转移下重点了
I'm beginning to be a little bit concerned
我开始有点担心
that you are abusing your grandmother.
你们在虐待祖母
Abusing her?
虐待她
She abuses us.
是她虐待我们好吧
She gave me a wet willy once
有次她吮完手指就直接往我耳朵里戳
that almost punctured my eardrum.
差点没把我的耳膜戳破
Her spit has touched my brain.
口水都要弄到我脑子里了
I couldn't find any nails.
我找不到钉子
But I broke a bottle on the ground under the window,
不过我在她窗户下打破了一个酒瓶
so that should deter her from jumping out again.
这样她应该不敢再往外跳了
Okay. I'm gonna need to ask her some questions.
我得去问她几个问题了
You just had to answer the door, didn't you?
谁让你手贱去应门的啊
I could be knee-deep in watching farmers and plumbers
我本可以去看那些农民和水管工
getting nailed in the face with big red balls.
被大红球砸到脸上的节目
Did you hear what you just said?
你知道你刚说啥了不
Not in the mood, Burt.
没心情跟你开玩笑伯特
They shave me when I'm sleeping.
他们在我睡觉时给我剃毛
They made me live in the greenhouse for a week.
他们让我在花房♥住了一周
They wanted to go through my poo to look for gold.
他们想在我的粑粑里找金子
She's making us sound crazy.
她把我们说得像疯子一样
The lady needs to know
那位社工需要知道