家有喜旺（2010）

Raising Hope S03E20

Part 1 Nov. 24, 2020, 1:12 p.m.

Unfortunately, Hope got bit by a cow at Natesville's petting zoo.
喜旺在纳什维尔动物园不幸被牛袭击
Luckily, the petting zoo is run by the butcher shop,
幸好动物园是肉店老板开的
so to avoid a messy lawsuit, they gave us 500 pounds of beef.
为避免民事纠纷送了我们500磅牛肉
So lately, we've been eating nothing but meat.
所以最近我们只吃牛肉
All right, tonight we're having steak-etti
今晚咱吃牛肉"面"
with meatballs and meat sauce.
加肉丸肉酱
And make sure you leave room for beef cobbler.
记得留点肚子吃牛肉馅饼
I haven't pooped in a week.
老娘便秘一星期了都
Me, neither.
我也是
But I know it's coming, and it's gonna be bad.
但我知道我就快拉了而且不会很顺畅
Four trains arriving in the station at once.
就像四辆火车同时进站一样
Ooh, sorry I'm late.
抱歉我迟到了
I was at the gym trying to work off some of this meat,
我刚在健身房♥消化牛肉
and I met a new girlfriend.
新交了一个好基友
I knew it. I called lesbo three months ago.
我就知道仨月前我就管她叫女同了
I'd have 20 bucks if I'd gotten any takers.
要是打赌老娘都赢20块了
No, you wouldn't have, because she's just a friend.
你赢不了因为她只是个朋友
Which I desperately need.
我急需朋友
Especially after I found out my Internet friend Cassandra
特别是在我发现网友卡桑德拉
doesn't actually exist.
并不存在以后
Hey, I was just trying to help.
人家只是想帮帮你嘛
Oh! That's Rachel calling right now.
瑞秋给我打电♥话♥了
Isn't she pretty?
大美人儿吧
What the hell is wrong with you people?
你们这帮人吃错药了吗
I'm sorry. When I panic, I throw things.
抱歉我一紧张就乱扔东西
Your new friend is my ex-girlfriend.
你的新朋友是我前女友
I was 18.
当年我18岁
I had just come out of my goth phase
刚刚走出哥特阶段
and was thinking of going to college.
正考虑着上大学的事
So I drove out to one, thinking if I didn't end up going,
我开车去了所大学寻思着就算最后没上成
I could still say I went to college
别人问起时我也能说去过大学
and hope the questions ended there.
但别再问下去就好
I'd like some pork and beans, please.
请给我来点猪肉和甜豆
You're funny.
你真有趣
Wait, we're not actually here to feed students.
我们其实不是为学生提供餐饮的
I'm not a student.
我不是学生
No, I was thinking of becoming a student,
我本来想做学生的
but now that I've seen everyone in their fancy horsey guy shirts,
但看到这儿的每个人都衣着光鲜
I'm thinking maybe I'll just take my pork and beans
就想着不然领个罐头
and be on my way.
回家得了
Well, you don't have to be rich.
你不必有钱啊
You know, a lot of people get here just by being smart.
很多人来这儿仅仅依靠聪明才智
Strike two. Beans, please.
又打击我还是来罐甜豆吧
Here. But I don't think you should give up on yourself so easily.
给但我觉得你不该就此放弃
You're an underdog.
你是个弱者
Everybody loves an underdog.
大家都爱弱者
Especially a cute underdog.
特别是帅气的弱者
She's not just Natesville hot.
她不仅够得上纳什维尔镇花
She's at least Milwaukee hot.
当密尔沃基市花都不成问题
Yeah, I don't know, Jimmy.
我说不好吉米
Long-distance relationships aren't such a good idea.
异地恋不太好吧
Plus, she's in college.
而且她是大学生
And while we've never been,
咱虽没上过大学
according to college movies, things can get a little crazy.
但电影里的大学都挺脱线的
Put the answers to the final exam in your pouch,
刚把期末考试答案藏进育儿袋
next thing you know, you're hopping away from the university police.
眨眼就从学校保安处蹦出来了
Am I the only one who saw Big Kangaroo on Campus?
你们都没看过《校园袋鼠》吗
Well, me and Rachel are gonna work,
我和瑞秋一定会顺利的
because I am gonna see her every chance I get.
因为我一逮着机会就会去见她
And I did.
我没说大话
I went to see her every single weekend.
我每周末都去见她
Everything was going along great until Uncle Jonas died.
乔纳斯叔叔去世前一切都顺风顺水
But I want to go see Rachel, not watch Maw Maw.
我想见瑞秋不是曾奶奶
Life is so unfair.
生活真不公平
Uncle Jonas gets stomach cancer,
乔纳斯叔叔得胃癌
and now I'm the one who has to suffer.
痛苦的却是我
Stop being so selfish.
别这么自私
Your mother just lost a member of her family.
你妈刚失去一位家人
And now it starts to get interesting.
这下可好玩了
Since I couldn't go see Rachel,
由于不能去见瑞秋
I tried to send her something special every day.
我就每天变着法送她东西
But none of my gifts could make up for the distance.
但我的礼物还是输给了距离
And eventually the letter my parents warned me about arrived.
爹娘预警过的那封信还是来了
"Dear Jimmy, there's no easy way to say this.
"亲爱的吉米开口很难“
"I've met someone else, and I'm breaking up with you.
"但我有了新欢要和你分手了"
"Even though you have the biggest trouser snake
"虽然你的小♥弟♥弟♥"
of any man I've ever been with."
"是我交往过的男人中最大的"
It said that?
她真那么说
No, I just threw that in to make you feel better.
那倒没有我随口编来安慰你的
And that sent me into a breakup funk.
失恋使我苦闷不已
**Ain't no sunshine when she's gone*
*伊人离去阴雨绵绵
**It's not warm when she's away*
*伊人离去我心戚戚
**Ain't no sunshine when she's gone*
*伊人离去阴雨绵绵
**And she's always gone too long*
*何时归来
**Any time she goes away*
*遥遥无期
**Wonder this time where she's gone*
*这次她去向何方
**Wonder if she's gone to stay*
*此去还有无归期
**Ain't no sunshine when she's gone*
*伊人离去阴雨绵绵
**And this house just ain't no home*
*独守寂寞空房♥
**Any time she goes away*
*心伤无所依傍
**I know, I know, I know, I know*
*我懂我懂我懂
**I know, I know, I know, I know*
*我懂我懂我懂
**I know, I know, I know, I know*
*我懂我懂我懂
That Rachel is a demon child from the jowls of hell.
那个瑞秋简直就是个小恶魔
And we don't want her in our lives ever again.
我们不想再和她有任何瓜葛
Well, that's gonna be a problem 'cause I invited her over for meat.
那可有点难度因为我请她来吃肉了
Hit the deck!
卧倒
Maw Maw, get down. We're hiding.
奶奶趴下躲起来
I'm 86 years old. I've...
老娘86岁高龄了
got a colon packed with meat.
肠子里还塞满了肉
This is gonna take me a while.
得慢慢来呀
Would you guys please get up?
麻烦你们起来好吗
Look, Rachel is great.
瑞秋是个不错的妹子
I've never had a BFF before.
我从未有过永远的好闺蜜
And I finally found someone
现在终于有人
who's worthy of me using that ridiculous phrase.
配得上这个怪词了
We're just trying to protect Jimmy.
我们只是想保护吉米
Obviously we care about him a little more than you do.
显然我们比你更关心他
Really?
真的吗
Okay, fine. Name his top three allergies.
行说出他的过敏源前三名
Trick question.
你唬我呢
He doesn't have any allergies.
他对啥都不过敏
If I eat peanuts, I'll die!
我一吃花生会挂的
That's right. He will.
是啊他还真会
Because Jimmy's a weakling.
因为吉米太弱啦
His heart can't handle seeing Rachel again.
他的小心脏再经不起见瑞秋的冲击了
That is why I forbid you to open that door.
所以我不许你开门
You can't tell me what to do.
你无权支配我
And you can't tell Jimmy what to do anymore, either.
也不能再支配吉米了
Look, you are not a teenager anymore.
你已经不是青少年了
You're a husband and a father,
你有妻子和孩子
and even if no one else here believes it,
即使这里没人相信
I know that you are man enough to handle this.
我也知道你是条汉子能搞定这事
Sabrina's right.
塞布丽娜说得对
She was right about me being able to switch from baths to showers,
她判断出了我能放弃泡澡改为淋浴
and she is right about this.
这次也是对的
I'm an adult now.
我是成年人了
I rang the bell so long ago, but I knew I had the right house
我按了好久门铃但我知道没走错
because I could smell all the meat.
因为能闻到肉香
Jimmy?
吉米