家有喜旺（2010）

Raising Hope S03E01

Part 4 Nov. 24, 2020, 1:09 p.m.

Do ya? Burt.
摸起来怎样伯特
Oh, come on. I got married at 17.
别这样我17岁就结婚了
The closest I ever got to a fake boob
我人生中最接近假咪♥咪♥的一次
was going up Kathy Conklin's shirt
是拉起凯西·康克林的衬衫
and coming out with a plastic baggy full of mashed potatoes.
结果发现那是一塑料袋土豆泥
I have to assume they've gotten better.
我就是问问她的手感是不是更好
Jimmy, you would only be telling Sabrina
吉米你跟塞布丽娜说这件事
what happened to make yourself feel better.
不过让你自己好过一些
Think about Sabrina.
站在塞布丽娜的角度想
How is she going to ever kiss you again
她知道你跟她妈妈搞上以后
knowing you made out with her mother? It's gross.
还怎么跟你亲亲想想就恶心
So I'm supposed to go out there
那么我应该回到外面
and act normal for the rest of the night?
整个晚上都假装无事吗
For the rest of my life?
假装一辈子吗
Yeah, fake it.
是啊假装没事
The way Sabrina totally faked how happy she was
就像今晚你跟塞布丽娜求婚时
when you proposed tonight.
她假装得那样
What? She wasn't faking it.
什么她不是装的
Come on, she said your name a bunch of times,
傻孩子她不断重复你的名字
threw in a few "Oh Gods,"
穿插着几句"天啊"
did all your mother's Monday night moves.
完全和你妈妈周一之夜的套路一样
Wha...? I didn't...
啥我没啊
Can't believe she was faking it.
真不敢相信她是假装的
She seemed so excited.
她看起来如此兴奋
She only faked it because she loves you.
她是因为爱你才假装的
And that's why you need to fake it with her.
所以你也要假装没事
So get out there and act like nothing's wrong.
现在装作若无其事的出去吧
If you knew I fake it on Monday nights,
你既然都知道我周一之夜都是假装的
why haven't you ever said anything?
你为什么都不说呢
'Cause you put on a great show
因为你表演得不错
and then I get to watch Mike and Molly.
而且我还想看接下来的《肥肥和胖胖》
And even though it started out with
即使我们的关系起始于
what they would call today a date rape,
现在你们所谓的"迷♥奸♥"
our marriage lasted 67 years.
我们的婚姻还是持续了67年
And, uh, since I suddenly can't remember where I am
现在我突然想不起来这是什么地方
or who any of you people is,
而你们又都是谁
well, I'll just say "Happy New Year's."
那我就用"新年快乐"混过去吧
Happy New Year.
新年快乐
Seven years ago, I made out with your mother in the back of a car.
七年前我和你妈在她车后座亲热过了
And I fiddled with her knockers a little.
我还摸了几把她的假咪♥咪♥
I am so sorry, all right?
我真的很抱歉
I just... I didn't want you to kiss me
只是我不想你亲我
because I thought you might not want to kiss the guy
因为我觉得你不会想吻
who made out with your mother.
和你妈亲热过的男人
Although, I mean, you have kissed the guy
尽管你过去已经亲过
who made out with your mother,
和你妈亲热的男人
you just, you just didn't know it.
但你当时不知情啊
Look, I didn't know it.
我当时也不知道
I just found out when I watched the video
我看录像时才知道
that I'd made out with your mother.
我和你妈亲热过
Is it just me or is he saying the words
是我出现幻觉还是
"I made out with your mother" way more than he needs to?
他一直不必要地重复"我和你妈亲热过"
Yeah, I don't know why he's doing that.
我也不知道这孩子咋了
You know, I'm sure that he has brushed his teeth
亲爱的都过了这么多年了
a whole bunch since then, sweetheart.
他肯定刷过很多次牙了
And, also, the boobs that he grabbed,
再说了他抓过的咪♥咪♥
they're not even mine anymore.
现在也不在我身上了
After the recall, your Uncle Andy turned them
我把假体拿下来后你安迪叔把它们
into an art piece for Nana.
做成奶奶的艺术品了
Go ahead.
想摸就去摸吧
I'm sorry.
抱歉
I just love you so much
我太爱你了
that I didn't want to spend the rest of my life
我不想余生带着谎言
keeping any secrets from you.
和你过日子
So, if you don't want to marry me, you don't have to.
你要是不愿意嫁给我不用勉强
But I want to marry you.
但我想娶你
Really badly.
特别想
So... I'm gonna ask you again.
所以我再问你一次
Will you marry me?
你愿意嫁给我吗
Yes.
我愿意
By being willing to lose everything,
冒着失去一切的风险
I was able to show Sabrina
我向塞布丽娜展示了
I loved her 100% for who she was
我对她百分百的爱
and give her the feeling she's been waiting for her whole life.
也满足了她此生一直追求的感受
And she didn't have to fake it.
这次她可不需要假装
And we weren't the only ones
而我们并不是
who weren't going to fake it anymore.
唯一一对坦诚相待的人
All right, we are recording Mike and Molly,
好的我们录下了《肥肥和胖胖》
so you can take as much time as you need.
你可以尽情地慢慢来了
But try not to take too much time,
不过也别花太多时间了
I'm recording some of my favourite Karate movies.
我还录了几部我最爱的空手道电影呢