家有喜旺（2010）

Raising Hope S03E05

Part 3 Nov. 24, 2020, 1:10 p.m.

You need to learn how to be more trickerish.
你得更耍耍小计谋
Trickerisher. Trickerisher.
做个奸人没错
But I already said that she could have the baby.
可我已经同意她代♥孕♥了
But what if Jordan and Elijah
如果乔丹和以利亚
change their minds?
改变想法了呢
That is very offensive, Virginia.
不好吧维吉妮亚
They were born this way.
他们一出生就是那样的啊
Not about being gay.
又不是说要把他们掰直
We need to get them to change their minds about wanting a baby.
只是试图改变他们要孩子的想法
That is the definition of trickerish.
这就叫做使诈
So we came up with a plan
于是我们想了个计划
to make Jordan and Elijah realize
让乔丹和以利亚意识到
they'd be giving up their fabulous life if they had a baby.
有了孩子生活就全毁了
And the best day to do that on was Gay Christmas,
计划实施的最佳时间是同志圣诞节
or Halloween as we call it.
也就是我们说的万圣节
Step 1 was dressing Hope up
第一步把喜旺好好打扮一番
as something Jordan and Elijah couldn't resist.
让乔丹和以利亚无法抗拒
And step 2 was making sure that
第二步
Sabrina was out of the way.
确保塞布丽娜不会来搅局
James.
詹姆士
Didn't you see the costume sign-up sheet?
你没看认领单吗
I already called "Buying-in-Bulk Hulk".
我已经选了"多买♥♥绿巨人"了
Oh. You better just go home
你还是回去吧
because you wouldn't like me when I'm angry.
我发起脾气来可不好看
I'll call somebody else in.
我找人顶你
Hey, you know, Sabrina's available.
塞布丽娜有空
Step 3...
第三步
Trick or treat.
不给糖就捣蛋
...set the bait.
放诱饵
Jimmy, she's so cute.
吉米她真超可爱的诶
Hello. What?
喂什么
A fire at the orphanage?
孤儿院失火了
I'm on my way.
我这就过去
Hey, guys, can you help me out?
能帮帮我吗
I'm a volunteer fireman, and I don't have time to drop...
我是火线义工现在来不及把喜旺
Just go, go, go. We got her.
快去吧交给我们就好
Bring back some calendars.
去大显身手吧
Step 4:
第四步
pull the pin and wait for the explosion.
扯掉奶嘴等待喜旺爆发
You're dressing as a mailman?
你这是要扮成邮递员吗
I'm one of the Village People.
我要扮成"村民"乐团成员
There's no mailman in the Village People.
村民里又没有邮递员
I know there isn't. I was gonna say...
我知道没有我是想说
I added a mailman to the Village People
我在村民里加入了邮递员
'cause I deliver the biggest package.
因为我的包裹最大
Is that weird for a straight guy
直男在同性恋酒吧这么说
to say to another guy in a gay bar?
是不是很奇怪
No, I think we're still on the good side of weird here.
还好也不是什么坏事
So for Bunko Night,
你就准备在骰宝之夜
you dressed up as...
打扮成个
a lady with a spaghetti stain on her pants?
裤子上沾了意面酱的大妈
No, they called off Bunko 'cause it's Halloween.
今天万圣节骰宝取消了
Oh. Oh, I didn't know...
那什么我之前不知道
Well, maybe I shouldn't...
那我是不是...
...go.
该留下
No, you should go.
不你去吧
What if the Indian needs to
万一印第安酋长
send an urgent letter to the construction guy?
要给建筑工人送急件呢
I'll just give candy to the kids.
我可以给孩子们发糖
You know I love that.
你知道我爱干这个
Cool.
真好
I'd bring you with me,
我也愿意带你去
but all the other married guys' wives
但他们都没告诉老婆
don't even know they're there.
自己在那儿玩
Have fun.
玩得开心
Trick or treat.
不给糖就捣蛋
Just take the whole thing. Thank you.
全拿去吧谢谢
I'm going to bed.
我去睡了
Honey, stop.
别这样宝贝
Hey, what are you doing here?
你怎么来了
We had to close the store early.
我们被迫提早关门了
Barney had a toxic reaction
巴尼对绿色颜料
to all the green body paint he was wearing.
严重过敏
It's burning. My face is burning.
我的脸在燃烧在燃烧啊
So I thought I'd drop off my moped
所以我就想把车扔这儿
and go meet Jordan and Elijah at the Polka Dot.
去波点酒吧找乔丹和以利亚玩
What are you doing here?
你在这里干嘛
You know, Hope got tired of trick or treating,
喜旺要糖要腻了
so I left her with my mom,
所以我把她交给老妈
and then I came back to, uh, to scare some kids.
自己出来吓小孩玩
Seems like the type of thing a...
还真像
normal 25-year-old man would do.
25岁的正常男人会做的事
No, it's fun. Watch.
真的很好玩嘛你看
Nice.
漂亮
So you wanna come to the Polka Dot,
所以你是要去波点酒吧
or do you wanna scare more kids?
还是继续吓小孩呢
Polka Dot.
酒吧
Hey, nice costume, pal.
这一身不错嘛老兄
Not many people can pull off Hitler.
能驾驭希♥特♥勒♥的人可不多
Hey. Uh, listen, buddy.
听着伙计
I... Virginia?
我维吉妮亚
Sorry.
抱歉
Am I ruining guys' night?
我是不是扫你兴了
No, thank God it's you.
不会幸好是你
Good. 'Cause I missed you.
那就好因为我想你了
Besides I really wanted to see you dance.
而且我真的很想看你跳舞
Then I must be a cat stuck in a tree
那我就是只被困在树上的猫
and the fire truck is here,
现在消防车到了
'cause it is time for me to get down!
因为我该下去了[也有派对开始之意]
I can't believe how long we had to stand in that line.
想不到会排那么久的队
I know. This place gets really crowded
是啊一让蒙脸
when you're allowed to wear a mask.
大家就都来了
Hey, wait. Is that your dad?
你看那是你♥爸♥吗
Yeah.
是他
I've never seen him happier.
没见他这么开心过
Okay, that's a little much.
有点过了吧
Dad.
老爸
I think you might have had a little too much to...
你是不是有点太
Mom? That's right. I'm here.
妈妈没错就是我
We're queer.
咱就是基佬
Get used to it.
你怎么着吧
Wait a second.
等一下
If you guys are here,
你们都在这儿
then who's watching Hope?
那谁在照看喜旺呢
Okay, I admit it: I made a mistake.
我知道错了
I'll just tell them I'm sorry.
我会向他们道歉的
No, Jimmy, you ruined Halloween for two gay men.
不吉米你毁了两个基佬的万圣节
"Sorry" is not gonna cut it.
道个歉就没事了吗
Where's Hope?
喜旺呢
Sleeping. Oh, so sweet.
睡觉呢可甜了
She didn't scream the whole time? Oh, she screamed.
她一直都没哭闹吗哭惨了
We had to find a way to stop her from screaming,
我们一直想办法让她停下来
and believe me, we tried everything.
都把所有招都试遍了
Eventually, when we calmed down,
最终我们冷静下来
we realized we'd learned how to deal with this
想起来在育儿书里
from all the parenting books we'd read.
学过怎么应对这种情况
You read parenting books?
你们还读育儿书
Yeah.
当然咯
Who'd have a child without doing the research?
谁养孩子不得做点研究啊
Um, maybe someone who's prepared to make
有些准备好了犯些可爱错误的人