剧集 | 家有喜旺（2010） | 导航列表
Living in an old house has its challenges.
Like how the water won't run
while the washing machine is on its rinse cycle.
And the air conditioner won't kick on
unless the thermostat thinks it's 125 degrees.
Ow, it's burning my thumb.
Just power through it.
Or having to learn the combination
to open the front door that sticks.
It's push, twist left, pull, twist right,
是先推 向左拧 再拉 向右拧
lift and open, right?
No, no, no, that's the back door!
不 不 不 那是后门好吗
The front door is twist left, pull, twist right, lift, stomp.
前门是左拧 拉 右拧 提 跺脚
But that's just part of living in an old house.
And the longer you live there,
the more it all just becomes normal.
I'm waiting for the spin cycle.
I think this is the first time
I've ever seen your meat whistle, Burt.
I believe that's true.
Not a fan.
We are so, so, very, very, very sorry for your loss.
Thanks for using your funeral voice,
but nobody really cared for my grandmother.
Well, we wanted to be here for you.
And Jimmy said there might be shrimp?
Oh, you brought Maw Maw.
Where's the body?
Oh, it's in the kitchen.
She was worried people wouldn't pay their respects up-close,
so she surrounded herself with the buffet.
You, at my funeral,
fill my bellybutton with ranch dressing,
so people will have to dip their carrot sticks in there.
I'm gonna write that down.
Is your mother here yet?
She's around here somewhere.
Give me something to talk to her about.
Talk about her. She's a big fan.
She went to India and she picked up yoga.
Yoga? I don't know anything about yoga.
Did she pick up anything else in India?
I've got a strong five minutes on diarrhea.
Make sure you bury me in a dress like this.
It looks custom-made.
I'll try to find you one kinda like it.
Not kinda like it. Just like it.
And don't forget to wrap my head in tin foil
so worms don't get in.
Yeah, I already told you I'm not doing that.
It's weird and it's a waste of foil.
I'm not taping one of your eyes open either.
Oh, come on, that'll be hilarious.
Mom, this is my boyfriend Jimmy.
Jimmy, this is my mother, who is so self-involved that,
though I have now said your name twice,
I bet she has no idea what it is.
Let's not do this. Not today.
Your grandmother is dead.
We should be celebrating.
I may not have been the perfect mother,
but I was a hell of a lot better to you than Nana was to me.
That woman once elbowed me in the nose
because I was talking during Wimbledon.
When you were 12,
did Nana leave you alone for a weekend
so she could fly to Vegas with her boyfriend?
Hey, you don't know Richard Dawson
because he's dead now, but he used to be a big deal.
I hear that place can be a real bummer on the tummy.
Is my daughter dating you to hurt me?
I hope not.
Right before I die, I want to be frozen
so they can bring me back after they discover the cure
for whatever disease I had.
And, of course, the cure for being frozen to death.
Frozen, huh? What do they call that?
I thought cryogenics was a religion.
No, no, no, you're thinking of Science-ology.
It's that religion that writer started.
L... More Leonard.
And they use their science to freeze you
and bring you back to life, huh?
We should look into that.
Guys, I think the conversation
may have taken a wrong turn somewhere.
If everybody could come to the living room,
my grandmother had a video she made before she died,
she wanted everyone to watch.
Yeah, she didn't think anybody was gonna want to do that either,
so she put a chocolate fountain in there.
In case you're shedding any tears for me,
By the time you see this, I'm going to be in Heaven
getting plowed by my dead husband.
When he sees me wearing his favorite dress,
I'm going to knock his halo off.
I guess some of you are curious as to what
I'm going to do with my money.
Now, how would I know that
you would be in the most comfortable chair?
Because I know you like the back of my hand.
You're a spoiled brat.
You have no respect for marriage or money
and because of that,
you get nothing.
I hate you. I hate you, too.
All of the cash I have will be donated
to a non-profit organization
dedicated to getting rid of non-profit organizations.
The only thing left is this house.
And I've decided to give it to the only relative
who hasn't broken my heart by getting a divorce:
As soon as you get married,
you can move in and start a family.
剧集 | 家有喜旺（2010） | 导航列表
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