剧集 | 家有喜旺(2010) | 导航列表
Living in an old house has its challenges.
住在老房♥子里麻烦多多
Like how the water won't run
比如洗衣机一开始漂洗
while the washing machine is on its rinse cycle.
我们就停水
Spin cycle!
甩干程序
And the air conditioner won't kick on
再比如恒温器不到51度
unless the thermostat thinks it's 125 degrees.
空调也闹罢♥工♥
Ow, it's burning my thumb.
老娘的拇指要烧着了
Just power through it.
忍♥忍♥嘛
Or having to learn the combination
连开个门
to open the front door that sticks.
都讲求技巧
Hurry.
快点啦
I'm trying.
我在努力
It's push, twist left, pull, twist right,
是先推 向左拧 再拉 向右拧
lift and open, right?
最后提起就能开 没错吧
No, no, no, that's the back door!
不 不 不 那是后门好吗
The front door is twist left, pull, twist right, lift, stomp.
前门是左拧 拉 右拧 提 跺脚
But that's just part of living in an old house.
这不过是老房♥子里的一部分生活罢了
And the longer you live there,
在这种地方住得越久
the more it all just becomes normal.
这种诡异的生活就变得越平常
I'm waiting for the spin cycle.
我在等甩干程序
I think this is the first time
这是我第一次
I've ever seen your meat whistle, Burt.
看到你的小♥弟♥弟♥吧 伯特
I believe that's true.
应该是吧
Not a fan.
真不是我的菜
We are so, so, very, very, very sorry for your loss.
我们真的十分特别相当非常超级遗憾
Thanks for using your funeral voice,
谢谢你演得这么像
but nobody really cared for my grandmother.
但没人真会在意我祖母的
Well, we wanted to be here for you.
我们想来安慰一下你
And Jimmy said there might be shrimp?
内个 吉米说有虾吃
Help yourself.
自便吧
Oh, you brought Maw Maw.
曾奶奶也来了
Where's the body?
尸体在哪
Oh, it's in the kitchen.
在厨房♥呢
She was worried people wouldn't pay their respects up-close,
她怕大家不会近距一睹遗容
so she surrounded herself with the buffet.
就把自己安排在餐桌旁了
Good idea.
干得漂亮
You, at my funeral,
我葬礼的时候
fill my bellybutton with ranch dressing,
用我的肚脐眼装沙拉酱
so people will have to dip their carrot sticks in there.
这样大家的胡萝卜都得在我肚脐里蘸蘸
I'm gonna write that down.
我会记下来的
Okay.
好
Is your mother here yet?
你妈来了吗
She's around here somewhere.
就在这附近转悠吧
Give me something to talk to her about.
帮我想点话题
Talk about her. She's a big fan.
说她就好了 这是她最爱的话题
She went to India and she picked up yoga.
她去了印度学习瑜伽
Yoga? I don't know anything about yoga.
瑜伽 我啥也不懂啊
Did she pick up anything else in India?
她在印度还做了点别的没
Diarrhea.
拉肚子
Okay. Good.
这个行
I've got a strong five minutes on diarrhea.
拉肚子我倒是能说上两句
Make sure you bury me in a dress like this.
你埋我的时候 给我穿这样的裙子
It looks custom-made.
这像是高级定制的
I'll try to find you one kinda like it.
我会找找看有没有差不多的
Not kinda like it. Just like it.
不要差不多 就要这样的
And don't forget to wrap my head in tin foil
还有别忘了用锡纸把我脑袋包着
so worms don't get in.
免得虫子钻进来
Yeah, I already told you I'm not doing that.
我说过了 你想都别想
It's weird and it's a waste of foil.
奇怪死了 还浪费锡纸
I'm not taping one of your eyes open either.
我也不会用胶带粘着一只眼睛 让它睁开的
Oh, come on, that'll be hilarious.
喂喂喂 那样多欢乐啊
Mom, this is my boyfriend Jimmy.
妈妈 这是我男朋友吉米
Jimmy, this is my mother, who is so self-involved that,
吉米 这是我永远活在自己世界的妈
though I have now said your name twice,
即使我说两次你的名字
I bet she has no idea what it is.
她也不会有印象
Jimmy.
吉米
Still doesn't.
你看
Let's not do this. Not today.
别这样 至少今天别这样
Your grandmother is dead.
你祖母去世了
We should be celebrating.
我们要庆祝才是
I may not have been the perfect mother,
我也许不是完美妈妈
but I was a hell of a lot better to you than Nana was to me.
但比起你外婆对我 我对你算很好了
That woman once elbowed me in the nose
我不过在温布尔登网球赛上说了两句话
because I was talking during Wimbledon.
那女人竟然就用手肘打我鼻子
When you were 12,
外婆有没有在你十二岁的时候
did Nana leave you alone for a weekend
周末把你一个人扔在家里
so she could fly to Vegas with her boyfriend?
然后和男友飞去了拉斯维加斯
Hey, you don't know Richard Dawson
你又不认识理查德·道森[演员]
because he's dead now, but he used to be a big deal.
虽然现在他死了 他那时可是大明星
So, India.
那什么 印度啊
I hear that place can be a real bummer on the tummy.
听说那地方相当能让胃部不适哦
Is my daughter dating you to hurt me?
我女儿和你在一起就是为了伤害我吗
I hope not.
不是吧
Right before I die, I want to be frozen
死之前 我想被冻起来
so they can bring me back after they discover the cure
等医疗技术发展到能治百病时
for whatever disease I had.
再把我救活
And, of course, the cure for being frozen to death.
当然得先发明怎么救活冻死的人
Frozen, huh? What do they call that?
冻起来 那叫什么来着
Cryogenics.
低温学
I thought cryogenics was a religion.
我还以为低温学是宗教
No, no, no, you're thinking of Science-ology.
才不是 你指的是科学教
It's that religion that writer started.
是个作家创建的宗教
L... More Leonard.
叫L 李奥纳多什么的
And they use their science to freeze you
他们用科学论把你冻起来
and bring you back to life, huh?
然后让你起死回生
We should look into that.
我们也去研究下吧
Guys, I think the conversation
各位 我怎么感觉
may have taken a wrong turn somewhere.
越说越不对劲了
If everybody could come to the living room,
大家可以来下客厅吗
my grandmother had a video she made before she died,
我奶奶生前录了段视频
she wanted everyone to watch.
希望大家都可以看看
Yeah, she didn't think anybody was gonna want to do that either,
她也预计大家不会想看
so she put a chocolate fountain in there.
所以她在旁边放了巧克力喷泉
Hello, everyone.
大家好
In case you're shedding any tears for me,
如果你们正在为我哭泣
please don't.
还是免了吧
By the time you see this, I'm going to be in Heaven
此时此刻 我正在天堂
getting plowed by my dead husband.
跟我死去的丈夫鱼水交欢呢
When he sees me wearing his favorite dress,
当我穿着他最爱的裙子出现时
I'm going to knock his halo off.
我让他做鬼也风流
I guess some of you are curious as to what
我料想你们其中一些人很好奇
I'm going to do with my money.
我会怎么处理我的财产
Hello, Tamara.
是吧 塔玛拉
Now, how would I know that
我当然知道
you would be in the most comfortable chair?
你会坐在最舒服的椅子上了
Because I know you like the back of my hand.
我对你了如指掌
You're a spoiled brat.
你这个被宠坏的小妖精
You have no respect for marriage or money
你对婚姻 对金钱没有丝毫尊重
and because of that,
正因如此
you get nothing.
你什么都得不到
I hate you. I hate you, too.
我恨你 我也恨你
All of the cash I have will be donated
我所有的存款将捐给
to a non-profit organization
一个非盈利组织
dedicated to getting rid of non-profit organizations.
从而消灭所有非盈利组织
The only thing left is this house.
剩下的只有这座房♥子了
And I've decided to give it to the only relative
我决定把它留给唯一没离过婚
who hasn't broken my heart by getting a divorce:
没让我伤心的亲戚
Sabrina.
塞布丽娜
As soon as you get married,
只要你结婚了
you can move in and start a family.
你就可以搬进来 组建家庭
剧集 | 家有喜旺(2010) | 导航列表