家有喜旺（2010）

Raising Hope S03E06

Part 4 Nov. 24, 2020, 1:10 p.m.

Brad, why don't you go get us a table.
布拉德去给我们找张桌子吧
On it, Mommy.
这就去妈咪
What are you guys doing here?
你们来这干嘛
We had to see these Jenkins for ourselves.
我们得亲眼看看詹金斯一家
There is no way they raised a kid like Brad without having
他们能培养出布拉德这样的孩子
some kind of advantages we didn't.
肯定是有一些我们没有的优势
Did you ever think that maybe they just weren't lazy?
你不觉得或许只是因为他们不懒惰
Oh, please.
得了吧
All parents are lazy.
哪有家长不懒惰的
Kids are exhausting.
熊孩子能磨死人
They're God's punishment for having sex.
孩子是上帝对滚床单的惩罚
They're cheating somehow. We're gonna find out how.
这里边肯定有猫腻我们会找出来的
You're gonna blow this for me.
你俩会毁了一切的
I am bonding with my almost-parents.
我要和我的亲"爹妈"建立感情
You ripped me out of their lives once,
你们已经让我离开他们一次
just don't do it again.
别再有第二次了
Oh, stop doing that.
别搞了
It's so gross!
好恶心
It's a nervous habit! I probably picked it up
习惯性紧张我很可能是从
'cause of something you guys did.
你俩那儿学来的坏习惯
No way. You had that creepy habit since before you were born.
胡说你这熊孩子没出生就有这毛病
I got ultrasound pictures of you nibbling on my kidney.
我还有你啃我肾脏的超声波照片呢
Okay, guys, table's ready.
各位准备用餐吧
Okay, Sabrina warned me about a couple things.
塞布丽娜提醒了我几件事
Sometimes the water has bubbles.
有的水里会有气泡
And there are way more forks than you will ever need.
桌上还会有很多你用不到的叉子
I met Ronald while I was nursing him
我是在护理他的时候认识罗纳德的
after an accident at the rock and roll manufacturing plant.
他当时在摇滚器材车间出了点意外
We sued the factory, and now owns it.
我们控告了工厂后来工厂就归我们了
And I'm a private detective.
我还是个私♥家♥侦♥探♥
Anyway, that's our boring story.
不提陈芝麻烂谷子的事了
So, Denise, Bill, you are not wealthy.
丹妮丝比尔你们没什么钱
What advantages did you have in raising your child?
那在抚养孩子方面有什么优势呢
Excuse me?
你说什么
I'm sure the gentleman is just wondering
这位先生可能是想说
how you managed to raise such a successful son.
你们是怎么教出这么优秀的儿子的
I'm guessing that it was just doing the normal things,
我猜只是做了些正常的事情吧
like camping outdoors, actual karate lessons,
像外出露营实打实的空手道课程
going to the park even if it's hot.
即使天热也会去公园什么的
Well, yeah. Of course.
是的当然了
But he's a huge, successful real estate mongrel.
但他可是位成功的房♥地♥产♥商人啊
You don't get that from karate lessons.
这是在空手道课程里学不到的
Jackie Chan couldn't sell me a house.
成龙也不一定卖♥♥得成房♥子给我
I can't understand a word he says.
谁让我听不懂他说话啊
Actually, I developed a love for real estate
实际上我妈妈带我去博物馆看
when my mom took me
弗兰克·劳埃德·赖特的展览后
to a Frank Lloyd Wright exhibit at the museum.
我才对房♥地♥产♥感兴趣
You took him to real museums?
你带他去真正的博物馆了啊
Good for you.
你真幸运
But weren't there really long lines at the museum?
但博物馆不是总排很长的队吗
We've heard museums usually have really long lines.
我们听说博物馆队排得超长的
Well, sometimes.
偶尔啦
But I always carried little games and puzzles
但我包里总是带上小游戏和小拼图
in my purse just in case.
以防万一
Games and puzzles in your purse.
包里装着小游戏和小拼图啊
I guess you can do that if it's not stuffed with
我敢说你们包里一定没香烟和甘草
cigarettes and licorice.
所以才放得下吧
I shared the licorice with you,
甘草你也有份吃
but you cried and said it tasted like cigarettes.
但你哭着说和香烟一个味道
Do you... know each other?
你们原来认识吗
No.
不认识
I'm sorry, um, what did you--
抱歉你
Did you say something about...
你刚有说什么
licorice?
甘草吗
Chad?
查德
Did he just eat his eyebrow?
他刚吃的是眉毛吗
Chad?
查德
Is it you?
是你吗
It is. It's me.
是的是我
Thank heavens.
感谢上帝
Our Chad's come back!
我们的小查回来了
I'm just so relieved
真令人欣慰
that you turned out to be a successful businessman
你成为了成功的商人
who's going to join our country club.
还要加入我们的乡村俱乐部
Me, too.
是啊
I did not think those two idiot teenagers
我也没想到当年那对二货未成年
had what it took to raise a successful kid.
能把你教得这么好
They didn't.
他们才没有
They did a horrible job.
他们教得烂透了
I barely got my GED,
我差点没拿到高中文凭
I knocked up a serial killer,
后来还搞大了连环杀手的肚子
and now I'm a single dad working as a bagger at a grocery store.
现在是一名在杂货店卸货的单亲爸爸
Plus, I still say "Pasghetti,"
到现在还只能说"大意利面"
and I don't know why or how to fix it.
死都改不过来
It's true.
说得对
We're the worst parents ever.
我们是最糟糕的父母
I knew this day would come.
我就知道这天会到来
We've run out of excuses.
我们没有借口了
No kidding.
的确
When we get home, there's some
等我回家我要摒弃
"World's Greatest" mugs I'm gonna need to get rid of.
过去那个世上最蠢的我
Wait, you're the idiot teenagers?
等等你们就是那对二货未成年吗
Sorry, Jimmy.
对不起吉米
We feel horrible.
我们很内疚
You are who you are because of us.
子不教父之过
If we hadn't been so selfish and stolen you back,
如果我俩不自私地把你偷回来
you might have ended up like Brad.
你也许就跟布拉德一样了
I hope this doesn't affect our chances for membership.
我希望这事不会影响我们的会员身份
I've never tasted meat like this.
我从未吃过如此美味的肉
I can't believe you people.
你们真让人难以置信
You are the worst, laziest parents ever.
你们是世上最差最蠢的父母
And you're no better-- with an illegitimate child
你也没好到哪里去带着一个私生子苟活
from a serial killer?
竟然还是连环杀手的孩子
And all of you lie about your identities.
刚才还都谎报身份
You're as bad as the Mexicans!
你们和墨西哥人一样糟透了
Excuse me.
你说什么
I happen to work with quite a few Mexicans.
我有好几个墨西哥同事呢
Oh, there's a shocker.
真令人意外啊
Judging by your grammar,
从你的措辞上判断
I'm guessing you're chummy with the blacks, as well.
我想你跟黑人也关系亲密吧
I can't believe I let you sit on my shoulders.
真不敢相信我让你坐到我肩膀上
Oh, my God.
太极品了
If you hadn't taken me back,
幸亏你们把我接回来了
I would've ended up just like them.
不然我就会变得和他们一样了
Thank you.
谢谢你们
Let's go home.
咱回家吧
You know, before we go,
在走之前
I have been dying to try Bill's fancy macaroni.
我很想尝尝比尔的花样通心面
Excuse me, sir.
很抱歉先生
I cannot let you eat Mr. Jenkins' pasta
我不能让你吃詹金斯先生的
in special Alfredo sauce.
加了秘制阿尔弗雷德蘸酱的意大利面
Why not?
为什么不行
Because I am Alfredo.
因为我就是阿尔弗雷德
I'm not gonna lie, we were pretty lucky
说真的我们很幸运地发现
those folks turned out to be massive racists.
那些家伙居然是种族歧视者
Because it made me realize that
这让我觉得
even though my parents were kind of lazy,
尽管我父母有点懒惰
I was better off having been raised by good people.
但我还是宁愿跟着善良的人长大
It also made us realize that
这也让我意识到
we had to work on not being so lazy with Hope.
我们对喜旺不能懒惰