家有喜旺（2010）

Raising Hope S03E08

Part 3 Nov. 24, 2020, 1:10 p.m.

I only know one speed.
我扔球时只有一个速度
Bullet.
那就是快如子弹
Toma.
中
Ugh. Well hello, Wyatt.
你好怀特
What are you doing here?
你来这干什么
Just buying crappy hair products
买♥♥点烂护发产品
that, whoop-de-do, didn't give a monkey cancer.
噢啦啦不能让猴子得癌症哟
Well, you know, I did tell you
我告诉过你
that can have your rain forest hair goop back
只要你把冰激凌机还给我
as soon as I get my ice cream maker.
你马上就能拿回那什么热带雨林发胶
That sounds like a fair deal to me.
不是挺公平的嘛这
Fair?
公平
She gave me that ice cream maker for my birthday.
那台冰淇淋机是她作为生日礼物送我的
Really? It was... it was a gift?
真的吗原来是生日礼物啊
A gift that I gave to you while we were in a relationship,
那礼物是我们谈恋爱时送你的
which we are not anymore, so it is no longer a gift.
但我们都分了所以那也不算是礼物了
That is crazy.
瞎扯吧你
You broke up with me.
是你跟我提的分手
Only 'cause I was sick of your face, Wyatt.
还不是因为你这张脸看起来太烦人了怀特
How is that my fault?
这又不是我的错
Listen, just give me my ice cream maker back.
听着把我的冰淇淋机还给我
You are wearing my dead grandma's earrings.
你还戴着我死去奶奶的耳环呢
Why don't you give those back?
你怎么不还给我啊
When your dead grandmother asks for them back,
等你死去的奶奶来要
I will give them back.
我就还
You guys ever hear of a relationship rule
你们有没有听说过这样一条恋爱规则
where after you break up with someone,
当你跟某人分手之后
you have to give them back everything they gave you,
就得归还他们送你的所有东西
even if it was a gift?
即便是作为礼物送出去的
Even if it was a gift?
即便是作为礼物送出去的
No. That sounds like something some kooky chick made up.
没有听起来像是哪个疯婆子瞎编的
That's why the only gifts I give my lovers
所以我给前女友们的礼物
are the things that I do with my mouth,
都是用嘴来的
so if they want to return such gifts after we break up,
如果我们分手后她们想归还的话
that's up to them.
就随她们便咯
I agree.
握爪
When my ex-wife and I split up,
我跟前妻离婚的时候
I let her keep our vacation condo,
我把我们的度假屋留给她了
and she let me keep the mortgage on our vacation condo.
而她把我们度假屋的贷款留给我了
Marriage-- really great decision.
婚姻啊真是美妙的决定
Hey, Jimmy...
吉米
I'll see you tomorrow. It's on.
明天见开战
What does he mean, "It's on"?
他说"开战"是什么意思
Ugh. I was fighting with Wyatt.
我在跟怀特吵架
Things were said, names were called,
脏话也骂了狠话也撂了
body part sizes were mocked.
那什么的尺寸也嘲笑过了
Long story short, he's racing you in the 1k,
长话短说他要跟你在漫步活动中比赛
and when you win, I'm gonna get my ice cream maker back.
要是你赢了我就能拿回我的冰淇淋机
I have to compete in a walk-race against Wyatt
为了个冰淇淋机
just for an ice cream maker?
就要我跟怀特赛走
An ice cream maker, my honor, your pride.
就是一个冰淇淋机大人殿下
Whatever you need to motivate you to man-up and beat his ass.
要怎样来激励你雄起打他个落花流水您开口
I love you... unless you lose.
我爱你但如果你输了可就不好说了
Oh, great!
这下好了
Now I have to compete in a race
现在为了个我压根不信的东西
for something I don't even believe in.
我要跟别人比赛了
I am with you.
我同意
This ABS thing sounds totally made up.
那什么ABS听上去完全是就是扯淡
Oh, what's all that?
这都是什么
Ah, your mom and I wanted to get new outfits,
我跟你妈想买♥♥些新衣服
so I went to the cool store at the fancy mall.
所以我去了大商场里的一家很酷的店
I think it's called apple-crappy and felch.
好像叫烂苹果吸♥精♥
Ah, pretty sure it's not.
肯定不叫这个名字
Hey, can I ask you a question? Sure.
可以问你个问题吗问吧
Sabrina's been fighting with Wyatt,
塞布丽娜在跟怀特吵架
but she's the one who's wrong, so how do I...?
但其实是她不对我要怎么
Easy. You don't. Ever.
简单千万别嘴贱
But she's really wrong.
但真是她错了
Listen, when your mother and I were younger,
听着我和你妈年轻时
I used to point out when she was wrong all the time,
她一犯错我就会指出来
but then we would argue,
但接着我们就会争吵不休
which would stress you out, you'd poop your pants,
吵得你抓狂吵得你拉裤子
and she'd be mad at me for weeks.
她就会因此跟我生好几个礼拜的气
So now, as long as she's not arguing with me,
所以现在只要她不是跟我吵
no matter how wrong she is, I just back her up.
不管她错得多离谱我都站她那一边
I'm telling you, Mel Gibson is Jewish.
告诉你梅尔·吉布森是犹太人
I saw something about it on TV.
我在电视上看到的
His father's either a rabbi or a nazi hunter, right, Burt?
他老爸不是犹太教士就是反纳粹对吧伯特
That's right, honey.
对亲爱的
I'm telling you, it's a giant.
告诉你这是巨人
No! I'm telling you,
不我告诉你
the big green guy on the can of peas is the Hulk,
豌豆罐上的绿色大人是无敌浩克
and he gets angry when you don't buy his vegetables.
要是你不买♥♥他的蔬菜他就会发火
Right, Burt? That's right, honey.
对吧伯特对亲爱的
Thank you.
谢谢
I am telling you,
我告诉你
that cute, little black kid on the TV wrote a dictionary.
电视上那个可爱的黑娃子写了部字典
That's why he never acted again.
所以他息影了
He didn't have to, right, Burt?
他没那个必要了对吧伯特
That's right, honey.
对亲爱的
The basic fact is, you can either be happily married,
你要搞清楚要么鸾凤和鸣
or you can be right, but you can't be both.
要么追求正义但二者不可兼得
Dit-dit-dit!
咳咳有情况
Hey, you bought us clothes, too?
你也给我们买♥♥了衣服吗
So did I. I went to that suburban outfitters place.
我也买♥♥了我去了郊区的服装店
The gal told me these were totes cool, and I totes agreed.
那妹纸跟我说这些超赞我也超觉得
So you and I are totes gonna wear 'em out to a club tonight
所以我们今晚超得穿上这些去夜店
and totes have a totes unreal time.
去享受超梦幻的一晚
How random is that?
多逍遥
You sound young as hell. Thanks, brah.
你听起来真有青春的活力多谢小哥
Burt, everybody's looking at their phones.
伯特大家都在看手♥机♥
We should look at our phones, too.
我们也应该把手♥机♥拿出来看
Burt, Virginia, look at you out past 9:00.
伯特维吉妮亚晚九点后还能看到你们啊
Good for you, staying active.
真厉害啊还保持着活力啊
No, we're not staying active. We are active.
我们才不用保持活力我们一直都活力四射
Why are you carrying that flat version of yourself around?
你干嘛搬着自己的人形纸板
Oh, Barney lets me borrow him at night.
巴尼同意我晚上借他一用
Uh, you see, I'm-I'm in a committed relationship,
你知道的我是个忠于妻子的丈夫
but, uh, he... he can get all the tail he wants.
但他可以去搞所有想搞的女人
So, later in the night,
所以晚点的时候
if there is a mix-up, no one is the wiser.
如果有情况他就是上选了
Hey, flat guy and his wingman, come on in.
纸板人和操控纸板的人进来
Come with me. You can be our entourage.
跟我来你们可以跟我们一起进来
I'm going to need to see some I.D.
给我看看身份证
What? Really?
什么真的吗
I mean, of course.
我是说没问题
He wants to see some I.D.
他要看身份证
Here you go.
给
Okay. Sorry, you just look a lot younger than you actually are.
好了抱歉你只是看着太显小了
Thank you.
谢谢
And you are very good at your job.
你工作做得真好
I'm sure it's a lot harder than it looks,
这工作肯定比看起来难多了
standing in front of a door, holding a clipboard.
站在门前抱着个笔记板什么的
Probably need to see my I.D., too.
恐怕也要看看我的身份证吧
Uh, not with that much ear hair.
看你这耳毛的量就不必了
Look on the bright side, baby.
往好处想亲爱的
You got yourself a trophy wife.
你坐拥一个软妹老婆
Aah! Oh, man!
吓死爹了
Is it gonna be this loud the whole time?
声音一直会这么大吗
And though that date was going well,
尽管约会的气氛不错