家有喜旺（2010）

Raising Hope S03E11

Part 3 Nov. 24, 2020, 1:11 p.m.

Says you owe six grand for a hot tub.
档案记载你买♥♥了个热水浴缸欠款六千
How can we afford a hot tub
为什么咱家买♥♥得起热水浴缸
and I can't get new shoes?
却不能给我买♥♥双新鞋
Because your feet are gonna keep growing, buddy,
因为你的脚一直在长小家伙
but this hot tub will fit us forever.
这个热水浴缸却能能受用终生
Now go to bed,
给我回去睡觉
and don't forget to wipe your toes before you go inside.
进去前别忘了把脚擦干净
These debts are from over 20 years ago.
这些债务都欠20多年了
I'm sure creditors must have been calling you.
债权人肯定找过你
Hello?
喂
This is Dennis Powers from the Bank of Natesville.
我是纳什维尔银行的丹尼斯·鲍沃斯
I'm calling for James Chance.
我找詹姆士·吉斯
Dad, it's that guy who prank calls us again.
爸爸又是那个给我们打电♥话♥恶作剧的家伙
Let him have it, son.
给他点厉害瞧瞧儿子
Say hello to my butt.
跟我的屁屁打个招呼吧
That's not funny or effective
这都又不搞笑又没用
since I can't smell it from here.
我在这边闻不到
If you continue to mock me,
如果你再瞎搅和
I'll freeze your credit.
我就冻结你的信用
I gambled and I lost!
赌输了漏出来了
Wow, that sounds traumatic.
真是悲剧啊
Which makes it even harder to ask for all this stuff back.
那你就更难要回这些东西了
Virginia, I did it!
维吉妮亚我成功啦
We're a DeLorean house now.
现在咱家跟德罗宁车一样了
Finally, people will be pointing at our house
哼以后人们再指着咱家时
for all the right reasons.
说的那都是好话了
Mom? Dad?
老妈老爸
Back up.
退后
Just back up. And be careful.
退后小心点
I already smacked the mailman's chin pretty hard.
我之前把那个邮递员的下巴撞得不轻
DeLorean door.
德罗宁之门
Yeah, that won't get old.
永不过时噢
I cannot believe what you guys did to me when I was a kid.
不敢相信我那么小你们就对我做出这种事
I mean, you have done some awful things,
你们是做过很多恶劣的事情
but this-- this has to be the worst.
但这次真是罪大恶极
Oh, my God, he found out Maw Maw performed his circumcision.
完了他知道了奶奶割了他的包皮
She learned how to do it during the war.
那是她二战时就修得的技能啊
You barely cried.
再说你都没哭
You stole my identity!
你们盗用了我的身份
What? We would never do that.
什么我们从没干过这种事
You took out a credit card in my name when I was five.
我五岁的时候你们以我的名义办了张信♥用♥卡♥
Oh, that.
你说这个啊
Yeah, we did kind of do that.
对也可以那么说
But it wasn't our fault, Jimmy.
但那不是我们的错吉米
We had no idea how credit cards worked.
我们又不知道信♥用♥卡♥是肿么回事
One day, your dad was at the bank
有一天你老爸去银行时
and they were handing out these really cool fanny packs
看到有人在派发一些超酷的腰包
if he signed up for a credit card.
只要他办张信♥用♥卡♥就行
It wasn't a lame one. It was leather.
不是地摊货是真皮的噢
And when the credit card showed up with his name on it,
而且有了写着他名字的信♥用♥卡♥
we could buy all our dream stuff
就能买♥♥来午夜广♥告♥上
from those late-night infomercials.
我们所有梦寐以求的东西
Smokin' Joe Frazier Grill,
乔·弗莱泽牌烤肉架
Andrew Dice Clay Dicer,
安德鲁·戴斯·克雷牌掷骰手
Rowdy Roddy Piper Popcorn Popper.
大管罗迪牌爆米花机
The Henry Winkler Sprinkler.
亨利·温克勒牌洒水器
The Bret Michaels Poison Control Kit.
布雷特·迈克尔斯牌控毒工具盒
And a whole set of knives that could cut through a can.
还有一整套能把罐子刺穿的刀具
I used to ask your mom if she wanted to split a beer,
我还问过你老妈想不想把啤酒劈开
then I'd cut that sucker right in two.
结果一刀把那玩意儿切成两段
But before we maxed out your dad's card,
在我们刷爆你♥爸♥爸的卡之前
they sent us another one, through the mail,
他们又给我们寄了一张来
with my name on it.
是用我名字办的
And that's when we really went to town.
那时我们才真正开始狂刷之旅
Big-ticket items, Jimmy.
买♥♥各种高价商品吉米
Things rich people have:
富人们才有的东西
night-vision goggles,
夜视镜
an answering machine/phone combo,
答录电♥话♥一体机
an electric card-shuffler,
电动洗牌机
a Darth Vader boombox with a lightsaber antenna.
黑武士立体扬声器外带光剑天线
We spent hundreds.
我们花钱如流水
So when you were telling me that you never used credit
所以你们说信♥用♥卡♥是个坏东西
because it was bad, that was a load of crap.
你们从没用过信♥用♥卡♥ 全都是鬼扯
No, we were trying to protect you from the evil, Jimmy.
不我们试图让你远离那恶魔吉米
We knew we had a problem,
我们知道自己有问题
but luckily, we reached our limit on both our cards.
但幸运的是我们两张卡都刷爆了
So there's no way anyone was gonna send us another one again.
所以不会再有人给我们发卡了
But the Devil had other plans.
但恶魔诡计多端
One day, a new card arrived in the mail...
一天一张新卡又被寄来了
with your name on it.
上面写着你的名字
The bastard went after our child.
那混♥蛋♥不肯放过我们的儿子
We could have easily sliced through that card
我们本可以用新买♥♥的梦幻之刀
with our fancy new knives,
轻而易举地划断那张卡
then effortlessly cut through a tomato,
再接着毫不费力地去切西红柿
but we were young and we really wanted a hot tub.
但我们年轻啊真心想要热水浴缸
And besides,
另外
we thought there was a "Statue of imitations" on credit.
我们以为信用额度会有"花规限制"
We thought your record would be clean
我们以为等你长大成人
by the time you were an adult.
你的信用记录就会清零
We never meant to hurt you, Jimmy.
我们不是故意伤害你的吉米
Tomorrow morning, we're going to the bank.
明天一早我们就去银行
We're gonna tell them what we did,
和工作人员说清楚讲明白
and we're gonna clear your name.
为你正名
And then that's it.
然后我们就此收手
We're not making bad decisions anymore.
再不会做出任何错误决定了
While we're there,
我们去那边
we can grab some lunch next door at that Mexican-Indian restaurant
还能顺便去隔壁墨西哥印度菜餐馆吃午餐
the health department finally reopened.
卫♥生♥部♥终于同意他们开张了
Oh, that's a good idea.
好主意
I heard their power went out the other day
我听说前几天他们停了18个小时的电
for 18 hours and they're selling anything with chicken in it
现在所有带鸡肉的菜
for real cheap. Sounds great.
都卖♥♥得超便宜真棒
We'll take the East River Bridge.
我们从东河大桥走
There's almost no traffic since it started cracking.
自从大桥开裂后就没什么车从那走了
Oh, yes...
是啊
I seem to have quite a few notes on you in this file.
档案里好像是有不少关于你们的记录
Hah. "The phone farter."
电♥话♥放屁精
It's not his fault. He was five years old.
不是他的错他才五岁
Isn't there any way we can just pay back what we spent?
不能把欠的钱还了完事吗
Well, I suppose we could transfer this debt to the two of you.
倒可以把这笔债务转到你们名下
Which, with penalties and interest,
加上罚金和利息
comes to $125,000.76.
一共是125000.76美元
Two questions: can we pay that with a credit card,
两个问题一我们能刷♥卡♥付账吗
and can we get a credit card?
二我俩还能办张信♥用♥卡♥吗
Can't they just pay back the amount that they borrowed?
不能借多少就还多少吗
It doesn't work that way.
不是这么来的
Rules are rules.
规矩就是规矩
What do you think, there's a magic button I can press
你们以为有个魔法按钮我一按
that'll make your penalties and interest disappear?
就能让你们的罚金和利息消失吗
Actually, there is.
事实上还真有
This one...
这个键
...right here.
就在这
Nice try,
想得美
but these are the fastest fingers in the Natesville branch.
这可是纳什维尔分行最快的手指
That's why I've never been caught
所以我在红灯时挖鼻孔
picking my nose at a red light.
从没被抓到过
And I do it a lot.
我经常这么干
I'm not going to help you.
我不会帮你们的
I detest reckless spenders who live above their means.
我憎恶打肿脸充胖子瞎花钱的人
But we're not like that anymore.
但我们现在重新做人了