家有喜旺（2010）

Raising Hope S03E19

Part 2 Nov. 24, 2020, 1:12 p.m.

who claimed she had the body of Kate Upton.
她声称自己是魔鬼身材
She was bald, and one of her legs had two knees.
结果发现她秃头有条腿还有俩膝盖
Smokey, these are the hosts,
烟枪这两位是主办人
our son Jimmy and his wife Sabrina.
我儿子吉米和他老婆塞布丽娜
Let's get this party started.
嗨起来吧
Uh, no, thank you.
不用了谢谢你
And, uh, c-could you possibly
能不能麻烦您
not use the cocaine around the other parents?
别在其他家长面前嗑药
'Cause we're just... trying to get our daughter some friends.
我们是想让女儿交到朋友的
Well, from my experience, that usually helps you make friends.
根据以往经验这个有助于交友
But this is actually my lactose-intolerance pill.
但这其实是我的乳糖不耐受药片
I got to crush it up and snort it
我得压碎后吸食
so I don't re-trigger my addiction to pills.
不然嗑药瘾会复发
So, how are you guys enjoying the rock-and-roll lifestyle?
你们的摇滚生活过得怎么样
It sucks.
逊毙了
The only stones he has any stories about are the ones in his kidneys.
他身上只有肾结石还残留着"滚石"精神
When you're young, you see a rock star on TV,
年轻时你在电视上看到摇滚明星
you dream about hanging out with him.
会梦想着跟他混
And then that dream finally comes true--
等到美梦成真
you spend your day watching the Weather Channel,
却只能一起看天气频道
talking about compression socks.
讨论静脉曲张袜
I'm just saying, enjoy your circulation
提个醒儿趁血液循环系统还正常
while you still got it, kid.
尽情享受吧孩子
Deep vein thrombosis is not as cool as it sounds.
深静脉血栓可没它听上去那么酷
Happy birthday! Happy birthday!
生日快乐生日快乐
Ooh, look, everybody-- it's Beauty and the Beast!
看啊是美女与野兽
Actually, we're Beauty and the Beaver.
其实我们是美女与野狸
Yeah, for 20 bucks and leftover cake,
就20块和吃剩的蛋糕
you don't get copyrighted characters.
你可雇不到有有版权的卡♥通♥人物
Wait a minute, I thought you were hiring professionals,
等等你们不是要雇专业演员吗
not Andrew and his ex-wife Donna!
怎么是安德鲁和他的前妻唐娜
That's ex-ex-wife.
是前前妻
We're back together.
我俩复婚了
And they are professionals.
他们就是专业的啊
Yeah. Just because we've never done this before
就是没人雇我们演过
and we haven't been paid doesn't mean we're not professionals.
不代表我们不专业
Plus, I have always dreamed of being in show business,
而且进入演艺圈一直是我的梦想
so this act gives me a reason to not dump Andrew's ass again.
所以这次演出给了我一个不抛弃安德鲁的理由
We couldn't be happier.
我们真是太高兴了
Look, I know he's four years old,
我知道他都四岁了
but he likes it and I like it.
但他喜欢我也喜欢
Plus, I even use some of the leftovers to make this nice, soft cheese
我还把吃剩的做成柔软美味的奶酪
that he loves to put on crackers, so...
他喜欢用那奶酪配饼干吃所以
why stop breast-feeding now?
干啥要停止母乳喂养呢
This party reminds you of some crazy, wild stories, huh, Smokey?
这派对让你想起了些疯狂的往事吧烟枪
I told you, I don't want to glorify that lifestyle, bro.
我说过我不想美化那种生活兄弟
Please. No second scoops, kid.
拜托了不能吃第二球小孩
Today it's two, tomorrow it's three, and then the next thing you know,
今天两个明天三个等你回过神来
you're behind the Roxy offering to suck Nikki Sixx's toes
就已经为了一口海♥洛♥因♥
for a scoop of heroin fudge ripple!
屁颠儿着去钻人家裤裆了
Sorry. That got a little personal.
抱歉不该迁怒你
Pizza Man.
送披萨的
Well... where's the rest of the pizza?
还有的披萨呢
This is it.
都在这
We ordered two super jumbo pizzas.
我们定的是两个巨型披萨
These are super jumbo pizzas.
这就是巨型披萨
We've recently redefined our sizes.
我们最近调整了尺寸
We also have super duper jumbo and super grande jumbo.
我们还有超大披萨和超级无敌大披萨
But for a party this size,
但看这派对的规模
you really should have ordered two
你真应该定两个
"Damn, that's too much pizza" Pizzas.
"擦这也太大了吧"披萨
All right, well... just take 'em in the kitchen
好吧你拿去厨房♥
and cut 'em into a hundred pieces.
切成一百块
Hey, Pizza Man.
嗨送披萨的
Hey, Smokey Floyd.
嗨烟枪老弗
Oh, my God, that is so inappropriate.
天哪这合适吗
Oh, no, no, no. I-I was just gonna...
啊没没没我刚只是
No, you get to drink while I have to be sober
你能喝酒我却得保持清醒
trying not to freak out that loser's three-year-old
看到臭屌♥丝的三岁小孩穿着衬衫进城
is underneath her shirt going to town.
还得保持淡定
I know, right?
我懂你
Come on, girl, hook a sister up.
来吧好姐妹一起喝个痛快
We can get through this together. All right.
我们可以一起熬过去
Hello.
你好
Where would you like me to set up?
我应该放哪儿呢
Wha...
这
What is that?
这是啥
I ordered a bounce house.
我定的是弹跳屋啊
No, you ordered a moon bounce.
不你定的是月亮蹦蹦床
In what world do you get a bounce house for $17?
哪个星球的弹跳屋只要17块啊
I guess I just thought you were an idiot.
我这不是以为你傻了么
There's a corner in the living room.
客厅有个角落能放
You got to preserve those precious memories.
这些宝贵记忆必须珍藏
Yep.
是啊
I tape all my son's parties.
我给儿子的所有派对录像
Of course, I mainly do it
当然我这么做的主要目的
so I don't have to talk to any of the other annoying parents.
是避免和其他讨人嫌的家长聊天
I ran out of tape half an hour ago.
其实半小时前带子就拍完了
Scott.
斯科特
Jimmy.
吉米
Hey. I just met the coolest dad.
我刚遇到了顶级酷爸
You're kidding! I just met the coolest mom.
真的假的我刚也遇见了顶级酷妈
Man, I can't believe we found two.
真不敢相信我们能找到俩
This party's turning out to be great!
这派对越来越带劲了
Okay, you've had your five jumps.
好了你跳完五下了
That was worth a ten-minute wait, right?
等十分钟超值的对吧
When I was your age,
我像你这么大的时候
I was sewing soccer balls for eight cents a day!
就能缝足球每天赚80美分呢
Let's go.
跳吧
That's scary.
好怕怕
We're losing 'em.
他们不想看了
Quick, do "Gangnam Style."
快跳《江南style》
I don't know it. Just do it!
那是啥只管跳
Look! Gag-'em Style!
看啊江拿Sytle
Gag-'em Style! Gag-'em Style!
江拿style 江拿style
Mom, Dad, look, we've got a problem.
爹娘我们遇到麻烦了
All right, the entertainment you guys booked sucks,
你们安排的娱乐节目太逊了
and everyone is gonna leave.
大家都想走
Okay, we can't work this party.
我们搞不定这派对
One of those little animals just dropped a dirty diaper
有个熊孩子刚扔上来一片脏尿布
down the back of Andrew's costume,
扔到安德鲁戏服的背后
and now he's in the shower crying,
现在他在厕所哭
which, as you can imagine, is a huge turn-on.
正中萌点搞得我有点饥渴难耐
Excuse me, darling.
打扰一下亲爱的
Would a tiny piece of pizza bring you joy?
一小块披萨会让你开心点吗
I'm sorry...
你注意一点
Was I being a crab, man?
我是在抱怨吗
I'm sorry.
抱歉
I have to give you your money back.
我不得不把钱退给你了
Your American children are far too fat,
你们美国小孩都太胖了
and they're stretching out my springs.
他们在折磨我的弹簧
That trampoline is my only form of day time income.
那个弹簧床是我白天唯一的收入来源
Great, now we don't even have the sucky entertainment.
这倒好现在我们连破娱乐节目都没了
What are we supposed to do now?
现在该怎么办
You guys got to fix this.
你们得做出补救
Smokey,
烟枪
we need to ask you a giant favor.
求你帮个大忙
Would you go out there and play a song
你能到外面在我孙女的生日聚会上
at my granddaughter's birthday party?
演唱一曲吗
I'd be honored.
荣幸之至