家有喜旺（2010）
Raising Hope
第三季
剧集 | 家有喜旺（2010） | 导航列表
家有喜旺（2010）
Raising Hope S03E09
Part 2
Nov. 24, 2020, 1:10 p.m.
He's all man.
人家才是纯爷们
Anyway, my point is, Hope will be proud of you
总之 我认为 不管你是什么德行
no matter what you are,
喜旺都会为你自豪的
just the same way you're proud of your dad.
就像不管你爹什么德行 你也会以他为傲的
Nope, nope.
不 不
I'm still gonna need to pack a lunch.
我以后中午还是得带盒饭吃
Burt.
伯特
I saw him.
我看见了
I saw the squirrel.
我看见那只猥琐的松鼠了
Beady little eyes, fluffy white tail?
棕色小眼睛和白毛尾巴的那只吗
Yes, he's a monster.
就是他 就是那只禽兽
Right there in broad daylight.
光天化日之下无法无天
He saw me watching,
他知道我在看
and I think he liked it.
我想他喜欢被围观
That little pervert has no shame.
那小变♥态♥简直是道德败坏 无羞无♥耻♥啊
We got to do something about this.
我们得采取措施
If we don't help the victims, who will?
如果我们袖手旁观 那谁帮受害者啊
The possums, the groundhogs?
难道指望负鼠和土拨鼠吗
They're afraid of their own shadow.
自己的影子都能把他们吓个半死
Humans are the smartest in the animal kingdom,
人类是动物王国中最聪明的
except possibly the dolphins,
也许只比海豚笨点
but those arrogant bastards aren't gonna do a damn thing.
但那些自负的海豚又能做什么呢
So what are we gonna do?
那我们该怎么办
We are going to make it our life's mission
现在这件事就是我们的人生目标
to catch that squirrel and put an end
一定要抓住这只猥琐松鼠
to his rampage of unwelcome humping.
阻止他继续这种令人恶心的乱搞行为
This might be the most important thing we ever do.
这将是我们人生中最大的壮举
Hey, you guys don't see me as a Mr. Mom, do you?
你们不会也觉得我像个"男妈妈"一样吧
Not me.
我不这么想
I just think of you as a guy who's obsessed with his kid--
我只是觉得你带孩子上瘾
driving her all around,
天天带着到处转
making sure her tights match her outfit.
还得担心她的衣服配不配她的裤子
That's exactly what a Mr. Mom does.
你这不就是在描述"男妈妈"呢
Oh, then, you are getting a mug on Mr. Mother's Day.
那你肯定能在"男妈妈节"那天抱个大奖回来
You know, I must concur with Frank.
我和弗兰克想得一样
The James we all know has a tender heart
我们认识的詹姆士就是一个心地善良
and a gentler touch,
性格更是温顺的人
which is why I always have you stack the avocados.
所以我每次都找你做堆鳄梨这种细活呢
So what?
那又如何
You're a maternal guy with beautiful, soft hands.
你双手细腻 全身都散发着母性光辉
There are worse things you could be.
这也不是特别糟糕的事啊
True, I could be a dirt-eater.
是啊 我还没吃土呢
Einstein ate dirt-- Einstein.
爱因斯坦也吃土 爱因斯坦啊
You know, I can sympathize with you, James.
其实我很理解你 詹姆士
Being raised by two moms,
我是被两位母亲养大的
I wasn't always the strong masculine authority figure I am today.
所以我以前也不像如今这么有阳刚之气
What helped me tap into my rough-and-tumble
知道是什么激发出了我纯爷们的一面吗
was becoming an auxiliary policeman.
是我当上了协♥警♥
That's why they call me badass Barney around here.
所以这里的人常常叫我恶警♥察♥巴尼呢
No, it's 'cause you have an unattractive rear end.
才不是 那是因为你的臀部实在有点搓
It's both reasons.
两者兼而有之好不好
Listen, James, I'm going to be on patrol all weekend.
听着 詹姆士 这个周末我要巡逻
You should come with me.
你应该加入我
Oh, that would be amazing,
太好了
but I can't. I got to take care of Hope all weekend.
但我去不了 我周末得在家看喜旺
No, Jimmy, you should go.
不 吉米 你得去
Get your rough-and-tumble on with Barney.
跟巴尼学学什么叫纯爷们
I could watch Hope till Monday.
我可以周末在家陪喜旺
You sure? Yeah, of course.
真的吗 当然
My god, that would be great.
天啊 太好了
I have a uniform you can borrow.
我还可以借你一件制♥服♥
N-no, of course, I can't let you borrow my achievement star,
不过我的军功章不能借你戴
but I can show you how I made it.
但我可以向你展示我的雄风
You're welcome to tag along, too, Frank.
你也可以加入 弗兰克
There gonna be a lot of marching,
有没有很多列队行进
hanging out with dudes?
或者群体聚会
Not really.
没有
Pass.
那我不去了
Yeah, little creep's up there
那个小坏蛋在上头呢
just wagging his big white tail,
现在正摇着他的白色大尾巴
not a care in the world.
对周围的一切毫不关心
Are you sure these pellets
你确定这些药丸
won't hurt the other squirrels?
不会伤到其他的松鼠吗
They're perfectly safe.
绝对安全
I use these pellets to relocate gophers all the time.
我总是用这些药丸对付鼹鼠
The little black pellets put the gophers to sleep
麻醉小黑丸是用来麻醉鼹鼠的
so they don't suffer when the little white pellets kill 'em,
这样他们吃下致命小白丸后就不会感到痛苦了
But, see, I always take the little white pellets out.
但是 我总把致命小白丸挑出来
So the gophers just go to sleep? Yeah.
那鼹鼠们就只是睡着了 是啊
How can you be sure you haven't accidentally killed one?
你怎么能肯定 就从没误杀过一只
I've been trapping and relocating
这么多年来 我一直跟踪和定位
the same gophers for years.
同一群鼹鼠的踪迹
They summer at the millers' and winter at the golf course.
他们夏天在磨坊附近 冬天就到高尔夫球场
Crafty.
挺狡猾
How many gophers?
一共多少只
Five-- Jackie, Tito, Marlon, Jermaine, and Michael.
五只 杰克 提托 马龙 杰梅恩和麦克
Once, when they were knocked out,
有一次 他们被迷晕了
I put a little glove on Michael.
我给麦克戴上了一只小手套
You should have seen him dancing around,
你真该看看他醒来后瞎蹦乱跳
trying to shake it off.
急着把手套甩掉的样子
I'm remembering it now.
我到现在都记得那情形
That's hilarious.
太欢乐了
I'm sorry you're missing this. Me, too.
你没见着太可惜了 我也这么想
I'm surprised they haven't come up with something
真奇怪 居然还没有人发明出
that you can plug into both our heads
那种能植入人脑的东西
so we can see each other's memories.
这样我们就能分享各自的记忆了
You know, I bet they will.
我相信会有的
I bet they will.
一定会有的
What's he doing now? He's still just dancing around.
麦克现在干嘛 他还在乱蹦
Anyone else smell pig?
没人比你更二了
You know, I'm surprised that thing fits you.
这件衣服居然挺合身 太让我惊讶了
Wasn't that Barney's uniform from when he was fat?
这是巴尼减肥前穿的那件吧
I look better coming than going.
你没看见背后的玄机
So you and I are going to have so much fun this weekend.
我们俩周末一定要大玩特玩
You want to go steal some candy
等那两个假警♥察♥分神了
while the fake cops are distracted?
我们一起去偷点糖果吧
Well, James,
早啊 詹姆士
Are you ready to clean up the mean streets of Natesville?
准备好去整顿纳什维尔的穷街陋巷了吗
I just hope you don't come across any criminal mastermind
但愿你不会遇到像我这样的天才罪犯
who figures out how to do this.
瞬间让你屁滚尿流
Uncool, Frank.
别闹 弗兰克
Don't worry, James.
别担心 詹姆士
A good auxiliary policeman always carries safety pins.
好的辅警总会随身携带安全别针的
It's the only weapon we're allowed to carry.
这也是我们被批准携带的唯一武器
I need you to open it, though.
但你得帮我打开一下
I always prick myself with the pointy part and get an ouchy.
我总是会被针尖给刺到 好疼好疼的
So, what do we do now?
我们现在要干什么
Call the dispatcher, let her know we're on duty,
打给调度员 告诉她我们当班
and she'll give us the location of our first call.
她会告诉我们第一个执勤地点
Eagle Nine awaiting assignment,
雄鹰九号♥等待分配
preferably not in a hilly neighborhood.
最好不要崎岖地带
Oh, god,
神呐
that's that idiot from the grocery store who made his own badge.
是杂货店那个给自己做徽章的白♥痴♥
10-4, Eagle Nine.
好的 雄鹰九号♥
Patrol south Natesville.
去纳什维尔南部巡逻
We're expecting some rough stuff down there this morning.
我们预计今晨那片区域会局势紧张
There's nothing going on in south Natesville.
纳什维尔南部啥事都没有
I know, but if I make him feel like a cop,
我知道 但如果我让他觉得自己真是警♥察♥了
he gives me half-priced rump roast.
就可以半价买♥♥臀肉
It's good to know we've got your boots on the ground.
很高兴你们已开始执勤了
家有喜旺（2010）
Raising Hope
剧集 | 家有喜旺（2010） | 导航列表