家有喜旺（2010）

Raising Hope S03E10

Part 2 Nov. 24, 2020, 1:11 p.m.

It's a win-win.
这不是双赢嘛
I guess you're right.
好像有道理
Besides Rosa's family's totally convinced.
况且罗莎一家深信不疑
We're gonna look like jerks if we don't at least pretend to believe.
我们至少也得装装样子不然也太没人性了
And when the super volcano blows,
大火山喷发的时候
the entire world will be covered in ash and all of humanity will
世界将在劫难逃处处生灵涂炭
be plunged into darkness and despair for thousands of years.
所有人都将坠入黑暗深渊万劫不复
It's true.
着是真的
Enjoy your caramel crunch.
好好享受你的焦糖冰棒吧
Mommy, we're all gonna die!
妈咪我们都要挂啦
So rather than have a big fight with Mom,
所以我们没去找老妈理论
we just humored her.
而是对她曲意逢迎
Look what I bought online.
瞧我买♥♥啥了
Turns urine into drinkable water.
它可以将尿液净化成饮用水
It's used but I got a good deal.
虽然是二手的但没关系
Just needs a few go-rounds in the dishwasher.
放到洗碗机里冲几次就能用了
Six more months and this'll all be over.
再忍♥六个月就结束了
Nice work.
干得漂亮
No matter where I had testicles, that would have hurt them.
无论外星人的蛋蛋长哪儿你都能打中了
Three more months and it'll all be over.
再忍♥三个月就结束了
Drill! Evacuation drill!
集训撤离演习
Sabrina, if you're gonna become a member of this family,
塞布丽娜要想成为我们家的一份子
you need a job-- you're in charge of figuring out how to
那你就得行动起来你现在负责解决
cook anything that survives the initial... whatever.
如何将浩劫后仅存的东西变为食物
Now, everybody get out on the front lawn,
现在立即到大门口的草坪集♥合♥
tuck yourselves into a little ball and hold your breath.
一定要滚着出去并屏住呼吸
You should be up to three minutes by now.
给你们三分钟时间
One more month and this'll all be over.
再忍♥一个月就结束了
Which brings us to today...
终于忍♥到了今天
Offer expires January fourth.
赠券的截止日期为一月四号♥
Coupon must be presented at time of purchase.
购物时必须出示本券
Each coupon good for a maximum of 12 boxes per customer!
每位顾客凭本券每次最多购买♥♥十二盒产品
Customer can use a maximum of four coupons,
每位顾客最多只能使用四张
which means you and Burt can only buy 96 boxes.
这么说你和伯特最多只能买♥♥96盒
You need to put half these back.
你得把另一半放回去
Hope's buying some of these.
喜旺也要买♥♥点
You'll have to put 48 boxes back.
那你也得把剩下的四十八盒放回去
Jimmy, get in line.
吉米过来
Three more days and it's all over.
再忍♥三天就结束了
Sure, for everybody else.
那当然到时别人家连渣渣都剩不下
For us, it's just the beginning.
对我们来说则是破茧重生
With all the craziness of preparing for the world to end,
因为疯狂地为末日的到来做准备
it was easy to forget that christmas was right around the corner.
很容易就会忘记圣诞节也近在眼前了
But I was still determined to make Hope's
但我决心已定一定要让喜旺记事以来的
first Christmas memory a special one.
第一个圣诞节过得隆重而难忘
And that meant explaining all the traditions to Hope,
而我也得向喜旺好好解释下圣诞节的各种传统
and making sure we did every last one of them.
而且要确保这些传统我们都一一做到了
And then he leaves presents under the Christmas tree for everyone,
然后他就将大家的礼物放到了圣诞树下
but especially you.
尤其是你的那一份
Only six more days till Christmas,
离圣诞节只剩下六天了
and then you get to get the big piece.
到了那天你就能拿到最大的那份了
Not yet, honey.
现在不行哦宝贝
We have to wait.
要耐心等待
Can you please stop?
你就不能消停会儿吗
Make me, Nancy boy.
有种你就让我停下来娘娘腔
I've only got three things left on my bucket list,
我的意愿清单上只剩三件事没做了
and I need to get into a fistfight.
而我现在需要完成的就是找人打拳击
Maw Maw, I'm not gonna fight you,
奶奶我不会跟你打的
you're a million years old and you broke your pelvis
你都这么一大把年纪了
falling off the roof of that car.
而且刚从车顶上摔下来把盆骨都摔断了
I'm sorry, what did you just say?
对不起你在说什么
I'm not fluent in wussy.
我听不懂娘炮语
I'll fight you.
我来和你打
You will?
真的吗
Oh, yeah.
当然
I've been wanting to punch you in the face
我早就想干♥你♥的老脸一拳了
ever since you told me I looked like Ralph Macchio in drag.
谁叫你说我像男扮女装的小沈阳
Let's do this.
来吧
Hey, hey! Fistfight's happening.
啊哈拳击大赛要上演了
I'd be careful, Sabrina.
当心点塞布丽娜
Maw Maw doesn't always play by the rules.
奶奶可会不按常理出牌的
I think I'll be all right.
姐能搞定
No!
女侠饶命
You're gonna have to be tougher than that,
狠起来啊
you skinny little ralph-Macchio-looking bitch!
你这猴不拉几的女版小沈阳
Well, we're all stocked up.
好了储备品都齐了
Guess there's nothing left to do but celebrate Christmas tomorrow,
除了明天要庆祝圣诞外已经没啥要干的了
and then climb into our hazmat suits
完了之后就可以钻进我们的末日掩体
and wait for the Apocalypse.
静候天启
What do you mean celebrate Christmas tomorrow?
明天庆祝圣诞是啥意思
It's the 20th-- Christmas is the 25th.
明天才二十号♥ 圣诞节是二十五号♥
Jimmy, by the time the 25th rolls around,
吉米要真等到二十五号♥
Santa Claus will just be a desperate old man
圣诞老人也只不过是一个穿红衣的绝望老头
in a red suit peddling reindeer meat.
沿街叫卖♥♥驯鹿肉
We're having Christmas tomorrow.
我们就是要明天过圣诞
Sounds good to me, honey.
我觉得这主意不错亲爱的
Good thinking.
你想得真周到
All right, this has gone too far.
得了这事太扯了
I am not celebrating Christmas tomorrow night.
我可不要明晚就过圣诞
We've invested two years in this.
我们为此筹划了两年
We're not backing down now.
不能临场退缩
We're still gonna have real Christmas.
反正到最后还是得过真正的圣诞节的
Consider this practice Christmas.
就当明天是圣诞彩排好了
We'll all wear matching pajamas, we'll open some gifts.
我们穿上节日的服装打开礼物
It'll make your mother happy.
这样一来就能把你老妈哄开心了
Fine.
好吧
But I'm not giving Hope her real presents until actual Christmas.
但我要等到真的圣诞那天才送真正的礼物给喜旺
Do whatever you want.
随便你
All I care is that we're done by 8:00.
只要八点前搞定就行
Your mother and I have quite
我和你妈计划好了
the End of the World Eve Love Fest planned.
要共享末日前夕爱之狂欢
I'll spare you the graphic specifics of the things
具体我要对你妈做什么呢
I'm gonna do to your mother.
我才不告诉你
It involves quite a bit of pudding.
但我们会用到不少布丁噢
I hope you didn't love her for her face.
但愿你不是因为她的小俏脸而爱她
'Cause she ain't so pretty no more.
因为她已容颜不再
So reluctantly, the next day we all celebrated fake Christmas
第二天我们不情不愿地庆祝了假圣诞
with all of our Christmas traditions.
传统项目一个不落
And as it turned out,
事实证明
there were actually some traditions I didn't mind doing twice.
有些传统我并不介意再来一次
Like opening gifts...
比如拆礼物
A Hundred and One Recipes for Insects.
《昆虫的101种烹饪方法》
Sabrina, you shouldn't have.
塞布丽娜你太客气了
You know, I just thought when we were running through
我只是觉得要穿过
crowds of people whose skin was melting off,
一大群皮肤都开始溶解的人
this would be a nice way to keep things light.
戴上它会轻松得多
This is awesome!
这礼物酷毙了
Somebody rip a big one.
谁来给撕个大口子
Let's see if this thing works.
看这玩意管用不
Or watching Ernest Saves Christmas three times in a row.
或者一口气看三遍《圣诞惊魂夜》
But there are some traditions you can only do once.
但有些传统只能来一次
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what are you doing?
你们这是干什么
You can't eat the big chocolate until the 25th.
大巧克力要等到25号♥才能吃
It's not the 25th.
25号♥还没到呢
Yeah, but we're celebrating Christmas tonight, so...
但我们不是今晚过圣诞嘛所以...
You let her eat 21 through 24?
你让她把从21到24号♥的都吃了
Of course I did.
那还用说
What do we have to wait for? It's Christmas.
有什么好等的都圣诞节了
No, it's not. It's not Christmas.
不今天不是圣诞节
Christmas is in five days,
再过五天才是