家有喜旺（2010）

Raising Hope S03E05

Part 2 Nov. 24, 2020, 1:10 p.m.

So, "Glory hole" has nothing to do with a donut.
所以"寻欢洞"跟甜甜圈没有半毛钱关系咯
Oh, I get it.
我明白了
Is it true you guys wax the fellas?
你们真的会爆男人的菊花吗
I have a lot of dreams about dolphins.
我常常梦到海豚
Does that mean anything?
这梦会不会预示着什么啊
So, if you bite me,
如果你咬了我一口
there's absolutely no chance I'll turn gay?
我也不会被传染变成同性恋吧
Oh, maybe I did just make that up in my head.
我瞎讲讲的
Oh, I get it!
啊我懂了
A bear's a guy.
原来熊就代表基佬
Ah, that makes way more sense.
啊我懂了
Well, you know, it's not nearly as impressive.
其实也没什么好大惊小怪的
Well, of course, I mean,
是啊当然了
who wouldn't want a shower made out of gold?
谁不想洗个黄金浴
Where were you?
上哪儿鬼混了
It's so late.
三更半夜才回家
I was at a gay bar with Jimmy.
我和吉米去基吧了
I was having so much fun, I just lost track of time.
玩疯了没注意时间
You were where?
哪儿
It was amazing, Virginia.
真是太好玩了维吉妮亚
It changed my life.
颠覆了哥的人生啊
Changed my life!
彻底颠覆了
Changed your life how?
嘛意思
It was fabulous.
太神奇了
I could order those fruity drinks I love
各种果酒我都可以随便点
without feeling judged by some breeder.
完全不用担心被种畜们说三道四
Breeder?
种畜
That's me and you because we make babies.
我们俩就是种畜因为我们能生儿育女
I'm telling you, this place was incredible.
说真的那地方太神奇了
Get this. I fast-danced.
知道吗我还跳霹雳舞了
You fast-danced?
你跳霹雳舞了
In public?
在众目睽睽之下
You hate fast-dancing in public.
你不是最讨厌在大庭广众下跳霹雳舞的吗
That's because there's always women around that I know
谁让那些臭三八
are making fun of the way my shoulders go up and down.
老爱对我晃肩膀的方式冷嘲热讽
But at The Polka Dot, there's no women.
但在波点酒吧一个女的都见不着
You look like you're trying to shake a lizard off your back.
你这样子就像是要把背上的蜥蜴抖下去
That's just what a woman would say.
你们女人就会这么说
But at The Polka Dot,
但在波点
they just make a circle around you and clap.
大家只会把你围起来为你喝彩
I can't wait till next Thursday.
真希望下个星期四快点到
So, while I'm at Bunko, your Thursday night thing's
那以后周四晚上我玩骰子
going to be hanging out at a gay bar?
你逛基吧
Is it too weird?
是不是有哪里不对
It's weird, isn't it?
这不对是吧
No.
没啊
I have my thing with the ladies.
既然我有女伴一起玩
I guess you should get to have your thing with the boys.
那你也该和男同志们一起
Thanks.
多谢了
And don't worry, I'll always be the same guy you married.
别担心我永远都会是你当年嫁的那个直男
Do you think it be weird if I shaved my chest?
如果我把胸毛剃了会不会怪
Some of the other guys are doing it.
有人就这么干了
Give it a try.
试试嘛
Okay, two words.
两个词
Freddy Mercury.
佛莱迪·摩克瑞[皇后乐队同性恋主唱]
You got it, Jimmy.
你居然猜对了吉米
I'm turning in my gay card.
你真的好基喔
'Cause Freddy Mercury is gay. Yeah, II got that.
因为佛莱迪·摩克瑞是同性恋我明白
Even though he never came out publicly,
尽管他至死都没有出柜
after his death, he became a gay icon.
但死后居然成了同志标杆
I'm sure he and Rock Hudson are laughing about it
我肯定他正和洛克·哈德森[同性恋演员]
over Cosmopolitans in gay heaven right now.
在基佬天堂里吹牛呢
Rumor has it
听说
it's somewhere above Palm Springs.
这个基佬天堂就在棕榈泉市上空
Am I right, fellas?
对不对呀基友们
Well, as much as we love charades,
我们真是爱死哑谜游戏了
there's another reason why we came to visit.
但我们今天来还有另一个原因
Remember how in high school you were so generous
记得高中那会儿吗你多大方啊
and let borrow your leggings when I went through
把打底裤都借给我了谁叫我那时候正在
my Elizabeth Berkley Showgirls phase?
走伊丽莎白·伯克利的《美国舞娘》风呢
Oh, my God, I still think
矮油我现在还觉得
you would have been better in that movie than she was.
要是你去演那部电影绝对比她惊艳
Oh, I agree. Thank you.
我也觉得谢谢
But now we want to borrow something
现在我们得向你借点
even more important of yours:
比打底裤还金贵的东西了
an egg and your uterus.
我们要借你的卵子和子♥宫♥
What? What?
啥啥
We want to have a family, but we're both sterile.
我们想要三口之家但我们都无法生育
If you ever spend time in Africa,
如果你会去非洲的话
do not wear glow-in-the-dark G-strings
千万不要穿街边买♥♥的
that you bought on the street.
夜光丁字裤
They don't have an FDA there.
那边可没什么监♥管♥局♥
Anyway, Elijah's brother said he would donate
话说回来以利亚的哥哥说他可以捐精
and I figured you're like a sister to me, so...
而我一直都把你当妹妹看的所以
Friends. Acquaintances, really.
只是朋友好吧最多是熟人
Yes.
我愿意
Of course I will, yes.
我当然愿意
Oh, my God, really? Yes.
妈妈咪呀真的吗是的
I love you.
我爱你
So you agreed to rent out your fiance's uterus?
这么说你同意出租未婚妻的子♥宫♥了
I wouldn't call it "renting."
出什么租
They're not paying us.
他们又不付钱
So, you agreed to let someone freeload on her uterus' couch?
就是说你同意他人免♥费♥使♥用♥你未婚妻的子♥宫♥
That's even worse.
更悲催好吗
Well, I didn't agree to anything.
我啥都没同意
I just lost the argument.
只是不知道怎么反驳
I just thought we would have discussed it
我觉得你在同意为别人怀小孩前
before you agreed to have another man's baby.
应该先和我商量下
Oh, my God, you're right.
天啊对哦
Yeah, I mean, we're engaged.
毕竟我们都订婚了
We should talk about these things.
我们应该什么事都有商有量
Let's just discuss this in a reasonable manner.
来理性地讨论下这件事
Here are my pros:
我这样做的利是
Jordan and Elijah would make great fathers.
乔丹和以利亚绝对会是对好爸爸
Hope would have a cousin.
喜旺也能多个表弟或表妹
For nine months I'd have huge boobs.
我还能连续九个月拥有大咪♥咪♥
Let's hear the cons.
现在你来说弊吧
All right, uh, here we go.
好的听好了
Number one,
第一
when I think about you doing it, it makes my tummy hurt...
想到你要怀别人的孩子我就肚子疼
And now, I'm realizing I shouldn't have numbered these
好吧我好像不用列举
because that's it. Okay.
因为这就是全部的理由那就成了
Looks like I'm having their baby.
看样子我马上就能升级做大肚婆了
Your problem is you're trying to win an argument with words.
你居然想用言语来赢得争论
We're not word people, Jimmy.
我们又不是会说话的人吉米
We're more... uh...
我们是那种
Listen,
听着
within our family,
关起门来
we can debate each other
我们一家子是可以平等对话的
because none of us is that great with words.
因为我们没一个会说话的
It's a fair fight.
大家水平相当
But out there in the world,
但走出家门
there are people who can use words as weapons.
外面有些人可是毒舌得很
They're crafty.
狡猾得很
That's close, but not quite right.
差不多是这意思也不全对
You'll never win an argument with Sabrina
你永远都说不过塞布丽娜的
unless you learn how to be...
除非你学会
Trickerish.
使诈
I like it.
说得好
Trickerish.
使诈