家有喜旺（2010）

Raising Hope S03E04

Part 2 Nov. 24, 2020, 1:10 p.m.

my birthday brunch tomorrow.
我大概来不了了
Yeah.
可不是嘛
Apparently, I was dead wrong.
显然我错大发了
Babysitting an old woman was not a ruse
以照顾老婆子为借口来给我开惊喜派对
to get me over here for my surprise party.
可不是个好策略
Don't get too comfortable.
别以为这是你家
If they're paying you, you're gonna earn it.
如果他们付你钱你就得付出辛勤的汗水
Put these on.
戴上
I'll meet you in the bathroom.
浴室见
Tequila!
龙舌兰
Welcome, couples!
欢迎光临小情侣们
This is my lovely wife, Lisa,
这是我美丽的妻子丽莎
whom I met in the Philippines.
我们是在菲律宾相识的
In case you're wondering,
为免引起疑问提前告诉你们
she's free to leave anytime she wants.
只要愿意她可以随时离开
Uh, Lisa, would you give our guests their welcome gifts.
丽莎快把我们的见面礼献给客人们吧
Bags to people!
包给他们
Ooh, it's heavy.
挺沉嘛
This might be the Ten Commandments.
是装了《十诫》吧
We got a ham?
我们这有火腿
We, too, got a ham.
一样
The mystery thickens.
越来越神秘了
Yep, it's a ham, all right.
果真有个火腿
And T-shirts.
还有件T恤
That smell like ham.
闻起来也像火腿
These hams represent your marriages.
这些火腿代表了你们的婚姻
If you can get through the weekend with your hams
如果过完这周
unscathed, then you will have
你们的火腿依然毫发无损
the foundations in place for an everlasting partnership.
你们便将长长久久百年好合
Oh, honey, with my marriage experience
亲爱的我丰富的婚姻经验
and your rock-hard pecs,
加你坚如磐石的胸大肌
our ham is gonna crush their ham.
我们的火腿一定会秒杀他们的
Mom, this is about strengthening our relationships.
妈这活动的目的是要我们的关系更亲密
This is not a competition.
又不是比赛
Couples, are you ready for a little competition?!
小情侣们准备好小赛一番了吗
Okay, gentlemen,
好了先生们
while you were in the isolation bathroom,
当你们被关在厕所的时候
we asked the ladies a couple of questions
我们问了女士们一些问题
and they wrote down what they thought
她们写下了
your responses would be.
你们可能给出的答案
If your spouse could be married to a celebrity,
如果你的配偶可以跟一位名人结婚
who would they choose?
他们会选谁
Ricardo?
里卡多
You are correct.
你已经给出正确答案了
"Ricardo Montes!"
里卡多·蒙特斯
Burt?
伯特
Al Pacino.
阿尔·帕西诺
"Al Pacino."
阿尔·帕西诺
It'd be an easy transition.
太简单了
Burt already says "Hoo-hah!" a lot during sex.
伯特滚床单时老爱叫唤"呼哈"
Hoo-hah!
哇哦
Jimmy?
吉米
Woody Allen.
伍迪·艾伦[文艺范儿导演]
"Ryan Gosling."
瑞恩·高斯林[演员]
If you don't think he's so great,
如果你不欣赏他
why you make me watch all those boring movies?
干嘛老逼我看那些无聊的电影呢
A meteor is heading to your house.
陨石即将砸向你们的房♥子
What would your partner say was the one thing you would save?
你的伴侣会认为你最先救哪件东西呢
Burt?
伯特
The world.
世界
Jimmy?
吉米
I don't know.
不知道
We use the toaster oven a lot.
不过烤箱是我们最常用的东西
"Hope."
喜旺
Oh, yeah, that's better.
这个更好
She's right on that one.
她是对的
Burt, how did Virginia say
伯特维吉妮亚认为
you would complete this sentence? "I..."
你会怎么接这个句子 "我..."
"Never met a monkey I didn't want to shake hands with!"
"见猴子必想握手"
Oh, come on, they're getting all the easy ones!
凭什么他们的问题都那么简单
What did your partner say was her favorite food?
你的伴侣最喜欢吃什么
Burt?
伯特
Chicken Gordon Blue.
香煎肉酱鸡排
"Chicken Gordon Blue."
答对了
Ricardo?
里卡多
She likes belly button berries.
她喜欢吃肚脐莓
"Anything off Ricardo's stomach."
"只要是里卡多肚子上的"
We'll give it to them.
算他们对吧
Jimmy?
吉米
She always says when she's really hungry
她特别饿的时候总是说
that she could eat a horse.
她能吃下一匹马
So I'm going with horse.
所以我的答案是马
It doesn't say "Horse."
你是猪脑吗
All right.
好的
Now we're gonna send the women off
接着请女士们离开
and we're gonna ask the men a few questions.
我们要向男士提问了
We'll take a quick break.
大家稍事休息
Come on.
来吧
If it's your birthday,
既然今天是你的生日
we should hop a ride on the old drunk train.
我们就应该搭上买♥♥醉的列车
First stop, sloppytown.
第一站邋遢镇
All aboard!
都给我上车
If you think you can handle it.
能喝咱就一口闷
I'm 40 years old, I live by myself,
我40岁了自食其力
and I manage a grocery store.
经营着一家杂货店
You don't think I drink?
怎么可能不会喝酒
You don't drink, do you?
你肯定不会喝酒
A little wine on special occasions.
特殊场合会喝点葡萄酒
And we're back.
咱们继续
Thank you, Lisa.
谢谢你丽莎
I clearly asked you to get us a pitcher of water,
我记得我明明叫你端壶水来
but the dance was nice.
不过这舞跳得不错
Okay, ladies, what did the men say
女士们在男方看来
is your most embarrassing secret?
你们最见不得人的秘密是什么
Tamara?
塔玛拉
I'm not really 32.
其实我不是32岁
"She's 33."
"她33岁"
Plus tax and deposit.
这还是抹完零后的吧
Virginia?
维吉妮亚
Lost our sex tape.
把性♥爱♥录像弄丢了
"Lost our best sex tape."
"把最棒的性♥爱♥录像弄丢了"
Sabrina?
塞布丽娜
I'm afraid of spiders crawling in my ears,
我怕蜘蛛会爬进耳朵
so sometimes I sleep with a panty-ho on my head.
睡觉时头上会罩连裤♥袜♥
"Sits backwards on the toilet when she poops."
"大大的时候反着坐"
I enjoy reading,
我喜欢看书
and sometimes it's easy to put the book on the...
把书放马桶盖上
the back of the toi...
会比较...
Okay, you know what, great.
哎呀随便啦
Now both these things are out there
姐一次性爆了两个料
and we haven't even got one question right.
到头来还是一题都没中
Ladies, what does your man consider
女士们你们的伴侣认为
to be your cutest habit?
你们最可爱的习惯是什么
Virginia?
维吉妮亚
"Scrunches up her face when she thinks!"
"想问题的时候皱起脸"
Ladies, what did the gentlemen say was the biggest challenge
女士们男方认为你们交往过程中
you've overcome in your relationship?
经历的最大困难是什么
Sabrina?
塞布丽娜
I don't know. I give up.
不知道我放弃
We'll give it to you.
算你们正确