家有喜旺（2010）

Raising Hope S03E16

Part 2 Nov. 24, 2020, 1:12 p.m.

She was a huge whore; we all know it.
她曾是个荡♥妇♥ 我们都知道
My grandfather doesn't need to hear it.
但我爷爷没必要知道
What do you mean she was a huge whore?
什么叫"曾是个荡♥妇♥"
With today's advances in lotions and jellies and creams,
如今整形美容业技术发达
I'm sure she's still out there trampin' up the neighborhood.
她肯定还在这一带勾三搭四
Actually, she's dead.
其实她已经死了
I hope that brings you some comfort.
希望能让你心里好受点
Well, I'm sorry you didn't get your closure,
没了结心愿真遗憾
but, hey, look at the bright side--
但看看好的一面
she's dead and you get to move on.
她死了你可以向前看了
Oh... I'm making a move, all right--
那我这就采取行动
on that old geezer.
搞定那个老家伙
She slept with my man!
她睡了我男人
I'm gonna sleep with hers!
我也要睡她的
Oh, you're quite mad, Barbara June.
你真是疯得不轻芭芭拉·琼
But I can't say your laugh isn't a bit infectious.
但你的笑声还真有感染力
Hey, you!
喂
Who told you you could mess with that bush?
谁同意你糟蹋那株灌木的
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be messing...
对不起我不是故意糟蹋...
Wait a minute, why am I apologizing to a golfer?
慢着我向个打高尔夫的道什么歉啊
This bush has been severely neglected.
这株灌木被严重忽视了
Whoever's in charge here should be ashamed of themselves.
负责人应该觉得羞愧
Well, you've got a take-charge attitude.
你倒挺有责任感的嘛
We need more people like you.
我们需要更多像你这样的人
So, what's this bush supposed to look like?
这株灌木应该长什么样
Well, it's not really supposed to look...
现在还没...
I think it looks like a fat guy.
我觉得它像个胖子
I love fat guys!
我喜欢胖子
They make me laugh.
他们能逗我开心
Until they die young.
不过都死太早
And then I'm sad.
又惹我难过
You just made me laugh and cry.
你能让我又哭又笑
You're a true artist.
你真真是个艺术家
Well, the art's already in there--
艺术气息就藏在它体内
I just try to carve away the rest of the bush
我只是剪掉多余的部分
so you could see it.
让它表露出来
Listen, the courtyard by the parking structure needs a makeover.
停车场旁边的院子需要修整
You come to my office tomorrow with a pitch--
你明天去我办公室推销
and I don't mean this whole "fat guy" thing, I'm over that.
不要再用胖子这招不新鲜了
So you want me to "branch out"?
你是要我抽出新枝条吗
That's funny!
真搞笑
Not strong enough to end the scene on...
作为结尾还弱了点
but funny.
不过挺好笑
All right, Hope,
好了喜旺
we need to try on some of these clothes I got ya!
来试试我买♥♥的衣服
Whoa-whoa-whoa, we're working on Hope's craft.
喜旺还在练演技呢
Well, that's a waste of time.
浪费时间
Child stars go downhill no matter how good they act.
童星演技再好也会走下坡路
They could star in a Spielberg movie
就算小时演过斯皮尔伯格的电影
and still end up playing the nutty mom on some sitcom.
最后也不过沦落到在喜剧演个脑残妈妈
Trust me.
相信我
The real money is in product placement.
真正来钱的是植入式广♥告♥
Dolce and Banana?
杜嘉扒纳
Armenian Eagle?
国美鹰
Well, they're knockoffs!
都是山寨货
We can't put her in the big brand names yet--
还不能给她穿名牌
she hasn't popped.
她还没成名
Acting is about art.
演戏是门艺术
It's not about shamelessly trying to peddle a product.
不是厚着脸皮叫卖♥♥商品
Yeah? Tell that to that Paul Newman guy.
是吗这话跟保罗·纽曼说去
He's in every aisle of the grocery store.
杂货店每条走道都有他的商品
I think I even use his tampons.
我用的卫生棉都可能是他的
So, the concept is...
大意是
a notorious playboy dies
一个声名狼藉的花♥花♥公♥子♥
and can't get into Heaven,
死后无法上天堂
so he's got to go back to Earth
于是返回人间
and help couples find true love.
帮情侣找到真爱
It's called Douche Angel.
就叫《傻叉天使》
No.
不行
I loved it.
我很喜欢
Plant Guy!
剪草哥
You've got five minutes.
给你五分钟
Do you have a cassette player?
有卡带机吗
No.
没有
Okay, uh...
好吧
I think the pitch'll still work without music.
没有音乐应该不碍事
Two, three, four...
二三四
Hey, two, three, four.
嘿二三四
Plants, two, three, four.
树二三四
Courtyard!
院子
Interesting.
有意思
It's like Glee but with plants.
像植物版《欢乐合唱团》
Go on.
继续
Two, three, four...
二三四
Okay.
好
What are you doing?
你在干嘛
We have to get Hope into wardrobe.
喜旺得穿戏服
No. We have to get Hope into Us Magazine,
不喜旺要上《我们》周刊
and this outfit...
这身装扮
...is gonna do it.
绝对能成功
You are gonna get her fired
你私自植入广♥告♥
trying to sneak in your own product placement!
会害她丢工作的
She is an actor, not a race car.
她是演员不是赛车
Oh. You had to play the race car.
你得扮演赛车
I feel like an idiot in this costume.
穿这身戏服好白♥痴♥
It makes me look like a total...
看起来就...
Ass?
像个屁♥股♥
Well, technically,
实际上
my character is Dr. Buttcrack,
我要扮演屁屁医生
and apparently, I got my medical degree
显然我的医学学位
from Fartbutt State University.
是在屁屁州立大学拿的
So, we ready to go?
准备好了吗
Excuse me?
不好意思
I don't think that I can wear this on TV.
我不能穿成这样上电视
That's fine with me.
我无所谓
Anyone else want to slip into this giant ass, get yourself on TV?
还有谁想换上大屁♥股♥装上电视的
I'll do it! Oh, nononono.
我不不
I'll do it.
还是我来吧
Great, great, 'cause my buzz is wearing off
很好很好一会儿该嗨不起来了
and we only got two more hours with the kid.
她的部分也只剩俩小时了
All right, let's shoot this steaming pile of show business!
好了节目趁热拍起来
Hello, I'm a woman.
你好我是个女人
Please don't... oh.
请不要...
I'm so sorry to bother you again
很抱歉再次打扰
but I felt guilty all day
可我一整天都在自责
that my friend Barbara June came in here
我的朋友芭芭拉·琼冒失来访
and dredged up the memories of your whorish grandmother.
勾起了您对荡♥妇♥奶奶的回忆
A lovely woman such as yourself didn't deserve that.
像您这么美丽的姑娘不该受到如此对待
Other than the milk company
我喝问题牛奶长了胡子
I sued over all those bull hormones,
被告牛奶公♥司♥向我赔罪
no one's ever apologized to me before.
除此之外还没人向我道过歉
I'm blushing.
人家都不好意思了
I-It's hardly noticeable.
看不太出来
Would you like to come in for some tea?
要不要进屋喝杯茶
Oh, I'd like that very much.
荣幸之至
And with a little rain...
加上雨露的滋养
and the warmth of the sun...
阳光的温暖
...and of course, the finest manure...
以及上好的肥料
Uh, we get it! We get it.
大家都懂打住打住
You know I've heard a lot of crappy pitches in my time,
推销的烂招我见多了