早上好 Adipose实业
Good morning, Adipose Industries.
Donna Noble 卫生安♥全♥局♥
Donna Noble, Health and Safety.
John Smith 卫生安♥全♥局♥
John Smith, Health and Safety.
Adipose实业
Adipose Industries, the 27st century way to lose weight.
21世纪减肥新方法
无需运动 无需节食 完全无痛
No exercise, no diet, no pain,
终身远离肥胖 当代人的救心丸
just lifelong freedom from fat', the holy grail of the modern age.
就是它
And here it is.
只需吃一粒
You just take one capsule, one capsule, once a day for three weeks,
一日一粒 服用三周
肥胖 正如我们所说
and the fat, as they say...
"脂肪就会安静地走开"
The fat just walks away.
Foster女士 请问一下
Excuse me, Miss Foster, if I could?
我是Panny Carter "观察家报"科学版记者
I'm Penny Carter, science correspondent for the Observer.
在市场上有上百种的减肥药 上百种渠道去骗取人们的钱
There are a thousand diet pills on the market,
a thousand conmen stealing people's money.
我们怎么知道油水 没有进入你们的腰包呢
How do we know the fat isn't going straight into your bank account?
Penny 如果讥讽能燃烧卡路里的话 我们都瘦得像纸一样了
Oh, Penny, if cynicism burnt off calorie;
we'd all be as thin as rakes.
但是如果你要科学 我就给你科学
But if you want the science, I can oblige.
Adipose实业
Adipose Industries.
Adipose胶囊由合成活性脂肪酶 和蛋白质大分子组成
The Adipose capsule is composed of a synthesised, mobilising lipase,
bound to a large protein molecule.
活性脂肪酶分解了脂肪细胞中的 甘油三酸酯 从而
The mobilising lipase breaks up the triglycerides
stored in the adipose cells, which then enter...
卫生安♥全♥局♥
Health and Safety.
电影部
Film Department.
绝对合法 绝对有效
700% legal, 700% effective.
我能问下 现在有多少人在服用这种药么?
But can I just ask, how many people have taken the pills to date?
我们在仅仅大伦敦地区 已经有一百万客户了
We've already got 1,000,000 customers within the Greater London area alone,
下个礼拜开始我们将打开全国市场
but from next week, we start fading out nationwide.
未来将从这里开始
The future starts here.
英国将远离肥胖
And Britain will be thin.
早上好 我代表Adipose实业
Good morning, I represent Adipose Industries.
早上好 我代表Adipose实业
Good morning, I represent Adipose Industries.
早上好 我代表Adipose实业
Good morning, I represent Adipose Industries...
早上好 我代表Adipose实业
- 三周一个疗程 特♥价♥只要5镑 - Donna Noble 卫生安♥全♥局♥
That's a three-week course of pills for the special price of £45.
Donna Noble from Health and Safety. Don't mind me.
- 三个工作日内送到 - John Smith 卫生安♥全♥局♥ 不用理我
We deliver within three working days...
John Smith, Health and Safety. Don't mind me.
包裹包含21天的胶囊和一份详尽的资料包
The box comes with 21 days' worth of pills, a full information pack
还有我们的特殊小礼物 一个Adipose实业挂链
and our special free gift, an Adipose Industries pendant.
18k金打造 免费送给您
It's made of 18 carat gold and it's yours for free.
不 我们不送笔 不好意思
No, we don't give away pens. Sorry.
不 我不能破例 对不起
No. I can't make an exception. No.
这个我需要拿去化验
I'll just need to keep this for testing,
并且我需要一张客户清单
and I just need a list of your customers.
能帮我打印一份么?
- Could you print it off? - I suppose so.
没问题
打印机在哪?
- Where's the printer? - Just over there, by the plant.
就在那 那棵植物旁边
哪棵植物 那棵?
Which plant? That plant?
对 就是那个
- Yeah, that's the one. - Lovely.
好极了
That's the printer there?
打印机在那?
- By the plant, yeah. - Brilliant.
- 在那棵植物旁 - 是么?
好极了
Does it need a code? Last place I worked, the printer needed a code.
需要密♥码♥么? 上次我工作的地方那个打印机需要
不 我可以在这里操作
No, I can do it from here.
打印机还有纸么?
- Has it got paper? - Yeah, Jimbo keeps it stocked.
当然 一直都有
打扰一下
Excuse me, everyone, if I could have your attention...
我需要占用一点时间
你们平均每人每天卖♥♥40份产品
On average, you're each selling 40 Adipose packs per day.
远远不够
That's not enough.
我要每人每天卖♥♥100份
I want 100 sales per person per day.
如果没有完成 你就收拾东西回家吧
And if not, you'll be replaced.
因为这世上减肥专家非我莫属
'Cause if anyone's good at trimming the fat, it's me.
现在
Now, back to it.
回去工作
谢谢你帮我打印
Anyway, if you could print that off, thanks.
如果你能帮我打印的话我马上走
So, if you could just print off that list, I'll get out of your way.
太棒了
Lovely. Thanks, then. See you.
谢谢
- 再见! - 谢谢
Thanks, then. Oh. What's that?
这是什么?
我的电♥话♥号♥码
- My telephone number. - What for?
- 干吗用的? - 卫生安全
Health and Safety. You be Health, I'll be Safety.
你卫生 我才安全
但是这违反了第5节C款的规定
Oh, ah...
But that contravenes paragraph 5, subsection C. Sorry.
对不起
还是我
Me again.
Stacy Campbell?
- Stacy Campbell? - Who wants to know?
你是谁?
Uh, my name's Donna. I represent Adipose Industries.
我叫Donna 我代表Adipose实业 你在我们的高级客户表上
And you're on the list of our valued customers.
Roger Davey先生!
Mr Roger Davey, I'm calling on behalf of Adipose Industries.
我是Adipose实业的代表 有几个问题想问您
这药太棒了
Just need to ask you a few questions.
我星期四开始服药
It's been fantastic. I started the pills on Thursday.
5天后 我减了5千克
Five days later, I've lost 11 pounds.
没有副作用么?
And no side effects or anything?
完全没有 我感觉棒极了
No, I feel fantastic. It's a new lease of life.
像获得新生一样
你觉得这对耳环怎么样 和我配么?
Now, what do you think about these earrings? Do they work?
配极了
Yeah, lovely.
我服用了两个礼拜的药 减了14千克
I've been on the pills two weeks now. I've lost 14 kilos.
每天都减一样的重量?
- That's the same amount every day? - One kilo exactly.
刚好1千克
早上起来就发现脂肪已经不在了
You wake up, and it's disappeared overnight.
严格地讲 脂肪是凌晨1点10分消失的
Well, technically speaking, it's gone by 1:10 in the morning.
为什么这么说?
- What makes you say that? - That's when I get woken up.
我就是那会儿被闹醒的
就顺便称称体重
Might as well weigh myself at the same time.
你要去约会么?
You going on a date?
恰恰相反 我要甩了他
I'm doing the opposite. I'm dumping him. I can do better than him now.
我现在可以找更好的了
好了 等我会儿
Right, I won't be long. If the taxi beeps, give me a shout.
出租车来了告诉我声
我快被逼疯了
It is driving me mad.
每天凌晨1点10分 防盗铃都会响 分秒不差
Ten minutes past 1:00, every night, bang on the dot, without fail,
the burglar alarm goes off.
我找了专家 也换了几次 我甚至给看门狗公♥司♥打了电♥话♥
I've had experts in, I've had it replaced,
I've even phoned Watchdog.
但是还是不成
But no, 1:10 in the morning, off it goes.
早上1点10分 它就响了
- 没发现小偷? - 什么都没
- But with no burglar? - Nothing. I've given up looking.
我都懒得看了
Roger 你家门上有没有猫洞
Tell me, Roger, have you got a cat flap?
我买♥♥这里的时候这有一个
It was here when I bought the house. I never bothered with it really.
我从来没注意过它
我不是养猫人
I'm not a cat person.
嗯 我认识猫人
No, I've met cat people. You're nothing like them.
你跟他们一点都不像
Is that what it is, though, cats getting inside the house?
它就是做这个用的?
让猫从外面进来?
猫洞不仅仅放东西进来 它还放东西出去
Well, thing about cat flaps is
they don't just let things in, they let things out as well.
比如?
Like what?
"脂肪就会安静地走开"
"The fat just walks away."
不会太久
- Won't be long. - Oh, that's all right.
没关系
Oh.
我们有异常状况
We have unscheduled parthenogenesis.
多谢合作
Well, thanks for your help.
我觉得你可以停药大约一周左右
Tell you what, maybe you could lay off the pills for a week or so.
先走了 不好意思
Gotta go! Sorry!
出动收集队
Send out the collection squad. Bring them home.
带它们回家
Oh!
你还好么?
You all right out there?
还好
Yeah.
Adipose被看见了
The adipose has been witnessed.
繁殖全面开始
Activating full parthenogenesis.
What?
你们是什么?
What are you?
你们是什么东西?
What are you?
我喜欢你走廊的装饰
I like what you done with the hall.
Stacy?
Stacy?
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