消消气（2000）

Curb Your Enthusiasm S10E06

Part 1 Oct. 2, 2020, 11:01 a.m.

You can't park there.
你不能停在那儿
You don't have a sticker.
你车上没贴残障人士专用标签
Yeah. A handicapped... This is a handicapped spot.
嗯残障...这是残障人士车位
Yeah, I'm just gonna be a minute.
嗯我就停一分钟
Two minutes at the most.
最多两分钟
Yeah, I know, but people coming to use
嗯我知道但人们来这儿是为了...
my son's store, here.
到我儿子店里消费就这家
My son Joseph owns this store,
我儿子乔瑟夫是这家店的主人
so you really can't park there.
所以你真的不能停在这儿
So you're Mocha Joe's mom.
原来你是摩卡乔的妈妈
Yeah, yeah. My name's Jane.
是是我的名字叫简
Mocha Jane. Yeah, that's me. Mocha Jane.
摩卡简嗯就是我摩卡简
But you can't park here, because it's handicapped.
不过你不能停这儿因为这是残障人士专用的
You know what, Mocha Jane?
你猜啥摩卡简？
There are no spaces in this lot.
停车场没有其他车位了
But it's for handicapped. I just have to go into my store
但这是给残障人用的我就进我店里一会儿
and drop this off.
把这些东西放下
You're Latte Larry! Oh, I should have known.
你是拿铁拉里！噢我应该猜出来的
Joseph told me about you.
乔瑟夫给我说过你
We're gonna take you down, Latte Larry.
我们会把你搞垮的拿铁拉里
We shall see, Mocha Jane.
我们走着瞧吧摩卡简
We shall see.
我们走着瞧
What is this world coming to?
这世道怎么变这样了
Hey, do me a favor. Put those in storage.
嘿帮我个忙把那个放库房♥去
Hey, hey.
嘿嘿
Ah. Hello, Freddy. Good to see you.
啊你好弗莱迪很高兴见到你
What brings you here? I wanted to see, uh, the Colosseum
什么风把你吹来了？我想在角斗士对战之前
before the gladiators started fighting.
看看角斗场是什么样的
I got some great things happening here.
我这里装♥修♥完肯定顶级棒
It looks like it. The bones are great.
看起来是这样的房♥间结构很不错
We got tables here, okay?
这里放桌子对吧？
And what are they gonna have next to them?
然后桌子旁边放什么你知道吗？
A little coat rack.
放个小的衣帽架
For coats. Cool. Yeah.
可以放外衣不错是的
And Purell, every table.
以及免洗手消毒液每桌放一瓶
A little squirt,
挤一点搓搓
and you're ready for your muffin.
你就可以手拿小松糕开吃了
Who's coming in? Howie Mandel and his family every day?
这店里来的都是什么客啊？霍伊曼德尔的一大家子？
All right. Okay. Forget that.
行吧好了不管那个
Now I want to show you the thing I'm most proud of.
我想带你去看我最感到骄傲的部分
That's what I want to see.
我就想看那个
Welcome to the 21st century bathroom.
欢迎来到二十一世纪的卫生间
Uhhuh. Yep. Splashfree.
啊哈可以超强防溅
Look. First you got the snow shoes down there.
看这个首先是那个雪鞋样式的坑
You step on those.
你踩在那上面
See how it lifts up?
看到这个门自动升起了吗？
Okay, now, watch this.
好然后瞧瞧这个
You set it to your level
你把它调到合适的高度
of where your penis is. Uhhuh.
到你鸡鸡的位置啊哈
I feel like I'm with Howard Hughes right before the nails go big.
我感觉你脑子有点不正常了
No, I do.
别笑我说真的
It's cool, though. It's, uh, it's quite an advancement.
但这个设计还不错啦这比普通小便池高级多了
I'm so proud of these boys. You should be.
我对它们感到非常骄傲应该的
I am. Look at this. And where's the can?
真的你瞧瞧这那马桶放哪儿呢？
Where's the shitter?
拉屎的地方呢？
Oh. No such thing.
哦没有那东西
Well, what if someone has to... What if somebody has to...
呃那要是...要是有人想要那个...
Let 'em go home.
让他们回家解决
Then you lose customers. Who cares?
那你不就流失顾客了吗谁在乎那个呢
I'd rather have a no-coffee buyer than a defecator.
我宁愿一个人不买♥♥咖啡也不愿意他来店里拉屎
How about the ladies? What do they got?
那女士怎么办？她们怎么上厕所？
Let me show you. Okay.
让我给你展示一下好
Look. Look at this. Look at this.
你看瞧瞧这个你瞧瞧
See, this is smart. The ladies get to sit down.
嗯这就很聪明她们可以坐着
This makes sense. No, no, no. They don't sit.
这说得通不不不不是用来坐的
They squat. I don't get it.
半蹲啥意思
Women don't want to sit.
女人上厕所不喜欢坐着
They're very envious that we can...
她们非常羡慕我们男人
They have... They have pee envy, actually.
她们羡慕我们站着撒尿真的
Look what I've done for them. Okay.
看看我给她们做的好事嗯
See? Grab onto these bars,
看到了吗？抓住这个把手
then the knees go in here.
膝盖抵在这个上面
They don't touch anything.
你屁♥股♥不会接触任何东西
They're not touching. That's what they don't like.
不会接触女士不喜欢普通的马桶
They don't like touching the toilet.
她们不喜欢屁♥股♥会接触到马桶
It's like a Pilates class, though. Is it hard?
这看着像做普拉提训练课累吗？
You don't want to go too much longer than a pee time.
你也不能这个姿势太久撒个尿的时间还是可以的
I wouldn't stay here all day.
这样保持一天还是不行
And the pants go where?
那拉下来的裤子怎么办呢？
You know, I don't know. Whatever they do with them.
呃我也不懂她们平时怎样弄的就一样呗
Come and join me. Saddle up.
过来一起试试翻身上马
You all right? Okay. Yeah.
你坚持得住？没问题？嗯
Just grab on here? Yeah.
就拉着这个？是的
Grab on here. Yeah. Let's see how we do it.
拉着这个嗯我们看看怎么弄啊
Oh, this one feels good. Yeah.
噢感觉不错啊是
This is empowering. Yeah.
我感觉有种掌控力嗯
Just this body position makes me feel strong. You? I'm really getting tired.
光这个姿势就让我觉得很强壮你呢？我已经累了
Did you consult women on this? No.
这个设计你有咨♥询♥过女性的意见吗？没有
They'll love this, though. Oh, yeah.
但她们肯定会爱死这个嗯当然的
I like the feeling here. Yeah. Okay.
我喜欢这种感觉嗯好了
My legs are killing me. I gotta get up.
我腿要疼死了我得站起来了
You know, I got one more idea.
我给你说我还有一个创意
You're kidding me? No.
你逗我呢没有
One more? Okay. This is a tremendous idea.
还有一个？好吧这是一个绝好的创意
A cup, okay... Mmhmm.
一个杯子... 嗯嗯
That keeps coffee hot. Mmhmm.
可以保持咖啡的热度嗯嗯
Like a thermos? No. No, not a thermos. The cup itself...
保温杯呗？不是吗不不是保温杯是杯子自身可以...
Heats. Uhhuh. Heats, is hot.
可以加热噢杯子自身加热是热的
You got plans? There's no plans.
你有什么计划吗？没有计划
I don't, I don't, you know, how am I gonna do it?
我...我也不知道我该怎么办？
I'd need an inventor.
得找一个发明家吧
I know a guy. He's like a patent guy, he's got like 45 patents.
我认识一个人有好多专利他手上有大概 45 个专利
Really? He's a very eccentric kind of guy.
真的吗？他是个有点古怪的人
He's an inventor. They're supposed to be eccentric.
他是个发明家发明家就该是古怪的
Marconi used to go mountain climbing naked.
马可尼还喜欢全♥裸♥着去爬山呢
The nuttier the better. I can text you his name.
越疯癫越天才我到时候把他名字短♥信♥发给你
Thank you. You look great.
谢谢了你这里看起来不错
Hey, Freddy Funkhouser. Hey, how are you?
嘿弗莱迪冯克豪瑟嘿吃了没
Good. The mattress king. Great to see you.
吃了这不是床垫大王本人嘛很高兴见到你
The champ, mattress champ. Yeah, knock 'em out with a onetwo punch.
冠军是床垫冠军对左勾拳右勾拳打得他们转圈圈
Right? That's right, that's right. Good to see you.
对吧？对对很高兴见到你
All right. See you later. See you.
好了再见啦再见
This is it?
就这？
Oh, will you stop it? Well, I'm underwhelmed, Larry.
得了你能别这样吗？咋了我感到失望不行吗拉里
I don't give a fuck. You've been working on it for God knows how long.
我他妈才不管你呢你装♥修♥了得有几百年了吧
Where's some color? You need some pizzazz in here,
咋一点颜色都看不到？这里缺一些活力
you want to attract customers. Are you... are you through?
如果你想吸引顾客的话你...你说完了吗？
All right, look. I'm here to ask a favor.
行吧听着我需要你帮个忙
I'm having a surprise party for Jeff for his birthday.
我准备给杰夫办一个生日惊喜派对
Oh. So, I'm gonna have it on the 20th,
噢那我时间定在 20 号♥
which is three days before his birthday. He'll never know.
是他生日的三天前他绝对猜不到的
But I need you to help with the ruse.
但我需要你帮我参谋参谋
First of all, it's a terrible idea. Why?
首先这是个极烂的主意为啥？
Number one, people hate surprise parties. No, no, no, no.
很简单所有人都讨厌惊喜派对不不不不
You, maybe. Everybody I know loves a surprise party. No. Everybody.
是你讨厌我认识的所有人都喜欢惊喜派对不所有人都讨厌
Oh, that's fun? That's fun? Yes.
惊喜好玩吗？很好玩吗？当然
Nobody's doing...
没人会像你这样...
Yeah. He's gonna be thrilled.
好玩呢他肯定到时候超兴奋
The guy's got a heart condition.
他心脏有问题
We go to the same cardiologist, Dr. Holzer.
我们看的同一个心脏病医生豪瑟医生