消消气（2000）

Hello?
谁在那裡？
目前看来是此人闯空门行窃后
So it looks like what happened is
this individual broke into your home
burglarized it, and in an apparent
attempt to escape
企图逃跑时，跌跤撞到头
tripped, hit his head
and fell into the pool and drowned.
然后掉进泳池裡溺毙
You know, I was sleeping.
I don't know what it...
我当时在睡觉，并不知道‥
Well, I heard a noise. I woke up.
总之我听到声音就起来了
好，你走到外头后
还有任何动静吗？
All right. And when you came outside,
did you see or hear anyone?
No. No, nothing.
没有，没见到半个人影
Okay. And sir, your name is?
先生，你叫什麽名字？
Willie Nobody.
不重要的威利
All right. And you also live
on the property?
你也住这儿吗？
F**k, yeah, I live here.
My little bungalow, right there.
当然，我的小窝就在那边
Okay. And I see
you don't have your fence
另外我发现泳池外♥围♥
并未架设篱笆
up around the perimeter of the pool.
- Is there a reason for that?
- The what? Fence?
有何理由吗？
什麽，篱笆？
Santa Monica City Ordinance 8.12.150
says you must have a fence
圣摩尼加市
第８点１２点１５０号♥条例
明令泳池周围需架设
至少五呎高的篱笆
around the perimeter of your pool
of at least five feet at all times.
Fence? Honestly,
I don't know anything about...
篱笆？
我‥当真毫不知情
Nobody told me anything
about a fence.
我没听说过要架篱笆
I bought the house
from somebody that didn't...
我买♥♥下这裡时‥
这裡本来就是这样
没人说要架篱笆
This is the way it came and nobody
said anything about a fence.
You are supposed to have one.
你应该要架设的
Am I in trouble? What does this mean?
会有麻烦吗？
现在是什麽情况？
看来你是好人
我这次就网开一面
You seem like a decent guy,
so I'm gonna give you a pass.
但快点把篱笆架好
But get the fence put in.
Thank you so much. Thank you.
太感谢你了，谢谢
Wow.
－你相信吗？
－不相信
- Can you believe it?
- No.
＂怪奇物语＂
竟然在泳池裡
- Seeing that in your pool.
- Who expects something...
谁会想到？
－作梦也想不到那种事
－是啊，想也知道
I wouldn't have even dreamed
of something like that.
You know, why me? What's...
对吧，为什麽是我？
－我家有什麽吗？
－为什麽是你？
- Why you?
- What's in my house?
－两位好，欢迎来到网飞
－你好
- Hi. Welcome to Netflix.
- Hi.
赖瑞大卫和杰夫葛林
来见小唐温斯顿
Larry David, Jeff Greene
to see Don Winston Jr.
好，稍等一下
Great, just give me one sec.
"Don Junior."
－小唐
－小唐
- Don Junior.
- Yeah, Don Junior.
没错，小唐
怎麽会叫这个名字呢？
- How do you have a name like that?
- It must be horrible.
一定很不好过
Trump has really ruined it
for all Don Juniors, hasn't he?
川普害惨了所有小唐，不是吗？
我绝不想用这个名字
- I would not want that as my name.
- Oh, my God.
可不是嘛
All right, Larry, Jeff.
好了，赖瑞，杰夫
－谢谢‥
－电梯在右手边
- Thank you.
- Elevators are to your right.
Thank you.
Oh, hey. You going
to Albert Brooks' funeral?
你会参加
艾伯特布鲁克斯的丧礼吗？
我没得选择
I have no choice.
Who throws a funeral
for themselves while they're alive?
谁会在生前替自己办丧礼？
He does. And I have to speak.
He's asked me to speak.
他就会，我还得致词呢
他请我致词
- No.
- Yeah.
－不会吧‥
－真的‥
- No.
- Yeah.
- Oh, jeez.
- Yeah.
－真麻烦
－对吧
－准备要听我的简报了吗？
－请说吧
- All right. You ready for my pitch?
- Yeah.
剧名叫做＂赖瑞青春时代＂
The show is called Young Larry.
内容在说我２４，２５岁的生活
It's about my life
when I was like 24, 25.
I lived in Brooklyn with my parents
我跟父母同住在布鲁克林
我伯父老莫跟我祖母住楼上
and my uncle, Moe,
lived upstairs with my grandmother.
老莫七十多岁
Moe is in his seventies.
He pushed racks
in the garment center.
他在成衣区搬运衣服
每天搭地铁上班
Would take the subway every day.
他这辈子从不乱花钱
He never spent a nickel in his life
到头来存了上百万美元
so he had over
a million dollars saved up.
So one day, Uncle Moe comes up
to me and he says...
有一天，莫伯来找我，对我说
＂我要搬到市区
我希望你跟我一起住＂
"I'm moving into the city.
And I want you to live with me.
And if you live with me,
I'll leave all my money to you."
＂如果你搬来跟我住
我就把所有钱留给你＂
Wow.
因此我在戏裡搬去跟莫伯同住
So in the show,
I move in with Uncle Moe.
And, I do everything that I can
后来我就竭尽我所能
to accelerate his demise.
加速他的‥
死亡
- So how does he try to kill him?
- Subtly. You know, like...
那‥他用什麽方法杀伯父？
从小地方下手
giving him terrible food to eat,
Reuben sandwiches.
例如，给他难吃的东西
酸菜醃牛肉三明治
天啊
Yeah, okay.
Making him climb up
six flights of stairs
跟他说电梯坏了，要爬六段楼梯
- telling him the elevator's broken.
- Yeah.
－瞭解‥
－诸如此类的
- You know, things like that.
- Yeah...
So young Larry, what's going on
in his life right now?
那赖瑞年轻时的职业是什麽？
- Like what's he doing?
- Okay, very good question.
－问得好
－谢谢
- Thank you.
- He's a private chauffeur.
他是私人司机
替一个老妇人开车
He drives for an old woman.
I was a private chauffeur.
我真当过，载一位失明的老妇人
I drove this old lady around.
She was blind.
I never cleaned the car.
She had no idea.
我从不打理车子，她也不知道
And so, he has this huge
Cadillac limousine at his disposal
这辆超长凯迪拉克礼车
随时可供使用
that he uses all the time.
And I was a... I was trying
to be a stand-up comic.
而且我想演单口喜剧
So I was just starting out
doing my act.
当时刚初出茅庐
Oh, that's really interesting.
内容真是有趣
You know, we'll see him
do stand-up...
－桥段可加入单口喜剧
－当然
- Sure.
- when he's not chauffeuring
没忙著开车或杀伯父的空档
or whatever,
and trying to kill his uncle.
- Wow. I love this.