消消气（2000）
Curb Your Enthusiasm S10E05
Part 5
Oct. 2, 2020, 11:01 a.m.
Yes. When I would leave a message on, on,
是啊 我给女人留言的时候
on a woman's phone, I would always get in trouble
总是惹来麻烦
and the relationship would be over. I'm just no good at it.
然后跟她就没下文了 我就是不擅长
Yeah, but the weird thing is, you know,
嗯 但是奇怪的事是
if you go and see a play and you don't like it,
如果你去看剧 你不喜欢
you kind of don't leave a message, do you?
你不会特意留言说不喜欢 对吧？
No, but I did like it. I... That's, that's... Really?
不 但我很喜欢 我... 真的吗？
Yes. "Hi. This is Larry David.
对 "嗨 我是拉里大卫
I just want to say I really enjoyed the show. Good job."
"我想说我很喜欢这部剧 演得好"
Yeah. Like I said, I'm not, I'm not good with... If it was in person,
我刚才说了 我不擅长...如果是当面夸赞的话
I would have been much more effusive. Really?
我要热情得多 真的吗？
Yeah. So...
是 那...
I mean, it's hard to do now. Bec... You know, it's...
现在很难说出口 因为...你知道
It's like doing an impression for somebody. It's hard to just do it on command.
就像模仿名人一样 很难说来就来
You do impressions? Yeah. I do a lot. I can...
你能模仿名人？ 对 我经常模仿 我能...
加拿大演员，因在《伊利诺伊州的林肯》中扮演林肯获得奥斯卡最佳男主角提名
雷蒙德马西(Raymond Massey)：
I can do Raymond Massey from, uh, doing Lincoln.
我可以模仿在扮演林肯的雷蒙德马西
Raymond Massey as Lincoln. You never see that!
扮演林肯的雷蒙德马西 前所未见！
"A house divided against itself cannot stand."
"家庭内讧难维系"
Well, I was so moved, Clive.
总之 我超级感动的 克莱夫
The pathos of this character.
这个角色的感染力那么强
The triumph and the disgrace of his... Thank you.
他的胜利和耻辱... 谢谢
Thank you. Mmm! Mmm! Mmm! Mmmmmm!
谢谢 嗯！嗯！嗯！嗯嗯！
Oh, my God. Oh. This is unbelievable!
天啊 哦 太难以置信了
This Metzler's? Best, the best.
这个梅茨勒的三明治？人间顶级美味
You see that? That is genuine praise.
你看 那才是真的夸赞
I do a fucking play for 90 minutes,
我演一出剧要演九十分钟
digging deep and doing everything I can,
深挖钻研 用尽浑身解数
and you give that for a sandwich.
区区三明治竟然得到了你的这种夸赞
So you do do praise, just not for me.
所以你确实会夸赞 只不过不夸我罢了
You know, that, that kind of thing, that's not for people.
那种夸赞的方法 不是用来夸人的
That's for sandwiches, a well-struck iron,
那是夸三明治的 夸打得好的铁
a good golf shot. Do you know what it takes?
夸一记漂亮的高尔夫球 你知道要付出什么吗？
Stand up there for 90 minutes, on your own, a one-man play?
一个人在台上站九十分钟 独角戏
Mm. A serious subject like that. Do you know what it costs?
嗯 演那样的严肃主题 你知道要付出什么吗？
Must be quite grueling.
肯定很辛苦
One wonders why somebody would do it.
别人会想 为什么会有人愿意演
Is he for real?
他这是来真的吗？
No, I'm just saying. It seems...
不 我就是想说 似乎...
a little crazy.
有点疯狂
That's what you thought when you came to see the play?
你看剧的时候就是这种想法？
You thought it's crazy that someone would do this.
你觉得 有人愿意演 这很疯狂
Well, kinda.
有点吧
No, Clive. Clive, Clive!
不 克莱夫 克莱夫！
Clive, Clive! Clive! Come on!
克莱夫！ 克莱夫！拜托！
Clive! Clive!
克莱夫！ 克莱夫！
Hi. How you doin', Lionel?
嗨 你好吗 莱昂内尔？
How you doin', there, Mr. Danson?
你好吗 丹森先生？
Just need your signature real quick.
需要你签个字
How's it going today? Good.
你今天还好吗？ 好
You're friends with Larry David, right?
你跟拉里大卫是朋友 对吧？
Yeah, I suppose.
算是吧
He's fucking a doll.
他在肏娃娃
What?
什么？
I delivered a blow-up fuck doll to his house.
我往他家送了一个充气娃娃
How could you possibly know that?
你怎么知道的？
The package said, "Do not puncture. Discreet delivery."
包装上写着"远离尖锐物品 私密运送"
Mailmen know.
邮递员一看就懂
Have a great day.
祝你今天愉快
Hi. Hey.
嗨 嘿
I'm still a little pissed off, but I come as a friend. Of course.
我还有点生气 但我是以朋友身份来的 当然
Okay, thank you. I just have some information I think you ought to know.
好 谢谢 就是有点事情我觉得你应该知道
Your ex-husband, he's fucking...
你的前夫 他在肏...
a sex doll, just so you know.
性♥爱♥娃娃 就是告诉你一声
He's basically sticking his penis in a balloon.
相当于他把老二插♥进♥气球里
Good to see you.
见到你很开心
Larry! How are you? How do you do?
拉里！你好呀 吃了没
How do you do? How do you do?
你吃了没 你又吃了没
I do well. I do well.
吃了 吃了
Do you want to come in, or... No, I don't think that'll be necessary.
你想进来吗？还是... 不 我想还是不用了
I've been thinking about the stole.
我一直在想我的那件披肩
Thank you. It reminds me of my mom. It's beautiful. Yeah.
谢谢你 它让我想起我的妈妈 我感到很温暖 是
You know, you got so emotional. I felt so terrible.
你知道 你当时情绪很大 我替你感到难受
I had to give it to you.
我不得不把披肩给你
I appreciate it so much. Yeah.
我非常感激你 是
Of course, I have since learned that...
当然呢 后来我知道...
you're actually a professional crier. You do this for a living.
你是个职业哭手 你靠这个赚钱
Yeah? So? And so what I can't quite figure out is...
是啊 怎么了？ 所以我就在想...
did I give that stole to... real Carol?
我是把披肩送给了... 真正的卡罗尔吗？
Or did I give it to, you know,
还是说...
the professional crier?
我把它送给了职业哭手？
'Cause that would be bad. 'Cause then I would feel like I was duped.
那样的话可就不太好了 因为那样的话我会觉得我被耍了
You know. Who knows what else you've cried your way into.
谁知道你用哭还做过什么别的事儿
The couch, the coffee table, the painting.
你看这沙发 这茶几 那幅画
Maybe the house. Okay. Those...
说不定连房♥子都... 行了 那些...
Those tears were real, Larry. And I...
我那天是真的哭了 拉里 我...
I obviously cry in real life, too.
我当然在生活中也会哭啊
I'm a real person. Yeah. Sure.
我是个活生生的人 对对对
You think that I'm...
你觉得我...
I made up a story about my own mother...
我为了骗你的披肩...
You see, there. To get your stole?
你看... 编排我自己的母亲？
There, there, there it is.
你看 你看 来了
See?
看到没？
That's very difficult. I lost my mom!
技术含量挺高啊 我失去了我的母亲！
No, you're very good at this.
你确实很专业
If in fact you're making... I'm sorry.
如果你真的是在... 不好意思
Can't quite... Larry, please.
很难... 拉里 打住
Larry, get out! Oh, oh!
拉里 你给我滚出去！ 噢！噢！
Larry! Larry!
拉里！拉里！
Hey, Freddy! I was just about to call you.
嘿 弗莱迪！ 我正要给你打电♥话♥呢
Really? You created a real problem
是吗？ 你给我惹了个大♥麻♥烦
with Uncle Moke with the Internet porn.
告诉莫克叔叔黄网那事
Ah, you know, it's, it's better than,
啊 你知道 这总比
than paying money for those magazines.
去花钱买♥♥那些杂♥志♥强
No, it's all day. It's a problem. It's all he does.
不 他现在整体就沉迷这个了 别的啥也不干
And he is paying. He's doing the chat rooms now.
而且他还在花钱 他现在开始玩色情聊天室了
I'm so sorry. I don't know. I was just trying to save the guy some money.
不好意思 我也没想到会这样 我只是想帮他省点钱
It's addiction. You gotta do something.
他上瘾了 你得帮帮忙
Do something? What can I do? Whatever it is,
帮帮忙？我能帮什么忙？ 不管什么
you kind of started it off. I think you should step in.
这算是你造成的 我觉得也得你来帮忙解决
All right, I'll think about it. No, don't think about. Do whatever it is.
行吧 我回去想想 你别回去想想 你得帮忙解决
I gotta think about it. I don't know what to do. I gotta, you know,
我得想啊 我哪知道这要怎么解决 我得...
I gotta think about it. Okay, that's good.
我得想了才知道 行 你好好想想
Hey, did you hit the doll up yet?
嘿 你用那个娃娃了吗
NNo. Take a shot at the doll.
没... 没有 记得试试啊
And...
下面就是...
voilà, the pee cube.
见证奇迹的时刻 尿箱
I like it. You sure do.
我喜欢 那当然
Yeah. Take her for a spin.
棒 试试？
Sure. Get on in there, huh?
当然 就这样进去
There you go. Look at that. Mmhmm.
行了 你看看 嗯哼
How does that feel? Feels pretty good.
感觉如何 很棒
Shit. Got the prototype done, huh?
嚯 做出样品来了？
Yeah, you wanna give it a try? Nah, fuck that, man.
是啊 你来试试？ 这玩意不行 老弟
That shit ain't deep enough.
这玩意太浅了
What do you mean? What are you talking about?
什么意思？ 你说什么呢？
Any motherfucker that come up to that shit,
如果你是个鸡鸡小的人
with a little-ass penis, of course it works for them.
用这当然没问题
But you got a big-ass johnson, you gotta stand a little further back, see,
但如果你有个大屌♥ 你就得往后站才行
so your johnson don't overshoot
这样才不会溅出来
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