消消气（2000）
Curb Your Enthusiasm S08E01
Part 1
Oct. 3, 2020, 1:55 p.m.
不关你的事 伊莲！
不！
Oh, sorry about that. A ring stain?
哦 对不起 一个环形污渍？
I have a bad habit of just putting my drink down on the table.
我就是有个把饮料直接放桌上的坏习惯
Bad habit? Put your drink down on the wood?
坏习惯？把饮料放在木桌子上？
Look at that stain you made. Well, we'll just sand it off or something.
看看你弄的那块污渍 好吧 我们用砂纸把它磨掉就行了
Do you respect wood?
你对木头还有敬畏之心吗？
I--
我...
Guess so. Oh my God.
我觉得有啊 我的天啊
You had a cup like that at Julia's party.
你在茱莉亚的派对上有个差不多的杯子
You left the ring stain on Julia's table.
你在茱莉亚的桌子上也留了块环形污渍
She blamed me the whole time, but it was you.
她老怪我 但其实是你干的
Well, it's no big deal. You're right.
呃 不是什么大事 你是对的
It is no big deal.
不是什么大事
Having said that,
尽管这样
I would love for you to call Julia and tell her you left the ring stain.
我还是希望你打电♥话♥给茱莉亚 告诉她那块污渍是你弄的
I'm not calling Julia. Yeah, just tell her that
我不会给茱莉亚打电♥话♥的 你就直接告诉她...
That you were the one who left the stain on the antique table.
你才是那个在古董桌上留污渍的人
Hold on one second. I'm not gonna do that.
等一下 我不会打的
Yeah, come on. I'm not doing that.
来吧 我不会打的
No, I want you to talk to her. I don't want to talk to Julia.
不 我想要你跟她讲 我不想和茱莉亚说话
Cheryl, hold on one second. Oh my God, I am not talking to Julia.
谢丽儿 等一会 我的天啊 我不会和茱莉亚说话的
I'm not doing this. Hey, Jules!
我不会说的 嘿 茱莉！
Show was fantastic. What was I thinking? Why would I come here?
剧很精彩 我之前在想什么？我怎么会来这里？
I'm not talking to Julia. I said no
我不会和茱莉亚讲话的 我说了不
and you don't listen to me.
你怎么不听我说话啊
Oh wait, hold-- Hold on, okay.
哦 等等 不要挂
Cheryl, wait one second! No no, I think she left the ring stain. Hold on.
谢丽儿 等一下！我认为是她留了那块污渍 别挂
嘿 你到底在干什么？ 我走了 拉里
Huh? Why? Why?!
哈？为什么？ 为什么?!
Yeah. Cheryl!
是啊 为什么？谢丽儿！
Cheryl.
谢丽儿
Larry, I know divorce is painful, but this is a fantastic deal.
拉里 我知道离婚很痛苦 但是这个主意实际上很棒
It's not only the best deal I'm gonna get for you,
这不仅仅是我能为你提供的最棒的主意
it's the best deal that anybody's gonna get for anybody.
它是任何人能为任何人提的最棒的主意
You're gonna keep your house, you're keeping all your property.
你能保留你的房♥产 你还可以保留你所有的财产
You know? I know that's important to you.
你知道吗？我明白那对你来说很重要
I gotta be a good guy. Yeah, you will look like a good guy here.
我得做个好人 当然 表面上你将是个大好人
But I don't really want to be a good guy here. I know.
但我事实上不想做好人 我懂的
You know that, right? Yes.
你懂的 对吧？ 当然
Okay, yeah. This is what I do.
好吧 好 我就是干这行的
You're coming out ahead in this deal and she's coming out behind.
你在这场战争中是胜者 她则是败者
Imagine like a Dutch apple pie, right?
想象一个荷兰苹果派
The filling, the real meat of the pie, is everything you're getting.
那个馅 那个派真正的内容 最终是你的
And the top of the pie that looks so nice
而顶头看上去非常美味的料
is what she's getting. She's just getting the appearance.
将属于她 她只能得到表面那一层
Yeah, but I really like that crumbly stuff on the top.
好吧 但我其实也蛮喜欢上面脆脆的那一层皮
No, everybody does. Yeah, it's delicious.
当然 没有人不喜欢 那很好吃
I like that more than the pie. I would rather get that
比起馅我更喜欢那层皮 我宁愿得到那个
than the pie. Yeah, I know, but it's
而不是馅 好吧 我懂 但是...
But that's just-- That's a part of it,
但那层皮只是派的一部分
but the real-- It wouldn't be a pie without the filling.
而真正... 派没有馅料就不是派了
Yeah, but it's my favorite part. So let's switch it.
对 但皮就是我最喜欢的部分 那我们就调换一下
She's getting the filling and you're getting the razzle-dazzle that is
她会拿到馅料 而你会拿到那块表面光鲜的
the brown crumbly stuff. The delicious brown crumbly stuff.
棕色的脆皮 美味的棕色脆皮
Yeah, yeah yeah. The cinnamon.
对 对 对 有肉桂
It's a good deal. It's ready to be signed.
这事儿稳赚不赔 就等着签字了
Everything's going to be fine, Larry.
一切都没问题 拉里
You came to the right place.
你来这儿是来对了
You know what, Berg? I like the cut of your jib.
你知道吗 伯格？我喜欢你的作风
Uh, thank you very much, captain. I appreciate that.
啊 非常感谢您 老板 我十分感激
Cheryl and her lawyer are going to be here in a matter of minutes.
谢丽儿和她的律师过几分钟就会到了
You don't have to, but it might not be a bad idea for you to stick around for that meeting.
也许你可以留下来听一下这个会议 当然这不是必须的
No, I'm gonna go. Okay, fair enough. Okay.
不 我要走了 好吧 也行
你也可以留下 我喜欢这张桌子
You have a lot of room under here. Yeah, it's nice.
桌子底下有很大的空间 是啊 这桌子挺好
It'd be a good desk to get blowjobs under.
蛮适合在下面吹♥箫♥的
That's not why I bought it, but let's call it a happy accident.
虽然这不是我买♥♥它的理由 但是这也确实是个意外惊喜
Okay, Berg. Larry, don't worry so much.
好吧 伯格 拉里 别太担心
It's a good deal. Okay, I'm not going to worry.
这事儿稳了 好吧 我不会担心的
I'm gonna leave it in your hands. I trust you.
这事我就全权交给你了 我信任你
信我没错 我对你非常有信心
All right, see you, Larry. See you around.
好吧 待会见 拉里 待会见
Larry.
拉里
Oh hey. Hi.
哦 嘿 嗨
Hey. Good to see you. Hello.
嘿 见到你真高兴 嗨
Good to see you. This is David Rabinowitz, my attorney.
见到你我也很高兴 这是我的律师大卫拉比诺维茨
This is Larry David.
这是拉里大卫
Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you.
很高兴见到你 我也是
You hired a bald man, huh?
你雇了个秃头 哈？
Uh, that was a coincidence.
啊 这只是个巧合
I didn't really go after a bald man.
我并没有特意去找个光头的律师
You know, you should've recused yourself. We can't go up against each other.
你知道的 你应该回避的 我们不应该站在正反两方
It's a code. It's in the bald code. Is it?
这是个规定 秃头规定 是吗？
Yes, it is. Oh, I do need to come by and pick up some stuff.
骗你不成 哦 我确实得回去取些东西
Oh, you want to get the bedding and everything? Yes.
哦 你是想拿床上用品和其他的吗？ 对
I'm giving her the bedding. See?
我会给她床上用品的 你看到了？
You don't like the bedding. I like the bedding.
你又不喜欢它们 我喜欢啊
And the pillows. I'm giving you all those pillows.
枕头也是 我会把所有枕头都给你的
Yeah, you like You want that, right? Yeah, but
是啊 你是这么想的吧 没错 但是
you don't like those pillows either.
但是那些枕头你也不喜欢啊
I know, but I could charge you for them if I wasn't being fair.
我知道 但是如果我想不公平点儿的话 我可以收费
You could charge me for the pillows? Yes, isn't that right?
你要收那些枕头的钱？ 没错 不行吗？
I'm not sure. Technically.
我不确定 从法律层面上来说是的
Technically. Correct, okay?
从法律上来说 没有任何问题 对吗？
Okay. Your bald lawyer says technically yes.
好吧 你这位秃头律师说了 符合法律要求
And I can call you bald. It's like black people calling each other nigga.
并且 我可以叫你秃头佬 就像黑人可以互相叫黑鬼一样
"Hey, baldy," you know? Okay, let's It's better if you don't.
"嘿 秃头佬" 你懂的 好了 你...你别叫会更好
Okay. I think you're crossing boundaries
好吧 我觉得你过界了
Okay.
好吧
What are you doing? I'm practicing a tic I'm working on.
你在干什么？ 我在练习最近学的一个抽搐技巧
You know, for dating. I'm just wondering if she'll point it out, that's all.
为了约会 我只是在想女方是否会指出来 就是这样
And that's what you do on your dates?
你就要在约会的时候做这个？
Yeah, I'll just keep going like this. You make up a tic
是啊 我会一直这样做 你假装抽搐
to see how long your Okay, um... Yeah.
以此测试你的约会对象多久... 是的
What would you think if you were sitting across from somebody going like this?
如果你坐在一个像这样不停抽抽的人对面 你会怎么想？
If he was doing it on purpose, I would think he was an asshole.
如果他故意这么做 我会觉得他是个混♥蛋♥
Only because I told you because you know who I am.
那只是因为我提前告诉你了 因为你知道我是什么样的人
But if you didn't know me and we had just met,
但是如果你并不了解我 并且我们是初次见面的话
and then all of a sudden you're sitting across from me and I'm going--
而你又恰好坐在我对面 我不停...
Okay, that doesn't work. I don't think you should do that.
好吧 行不通 我觉得你不能这么做
Wh-- Why not? Huh?
为... 为什么不能？哈？
Let's go. It's just a social experiment.
我们走吧 这只是个社会实验
I'll text you. All right, nice to meet you.
我会给你发短♥信♥的 好吧 很高兴见到你
Nice meeting you.
我也很高兴
I got the sharpest Jewish divorce lawyer in town.
我有个全镇最犀利的犹太离婚律师
He's terrific. You like Berg?
他太棒了 你喜欢伯格？
I like him a lot, yeah. Oh, you know what? You and I ever split up,
我非常钟意他 哦 你知道吗？你和我如果闹掰了
let me tell you something, we get a divorce,
我和你说 如果我们要离婚
50-50. You take whatever 50% you want.
我们对半分 你拿走你想要的那一半
I'll take what's left. No arguing,
我拿走剩下的那一半 不吵也不闹
no negativity. What, are you fucking kidding me?
没有任何负面影响 什么 你♥他♥妈♥逗我呢
You think we're gonna have a nice divorce if we ever get divorced?
你觉得如果我们要离婚 我们还会和平分手？
No fucking way. I'm taking you for everything you have, mister.
根本没他妈的门 这位先生 我会拿走你所有的东西
I'm taking your balls and I'm thumbtacking them to the wall.
我要拿走你的蛋蛋 然后把它们用图钉钉在墙上
You're gonna get nothing out of it. You mention the "d" word once
你一分也拿不走 一旦你在你操蛋的人生中说了个"离"字
in your fucking life, you'll rue the day you ever met me.
你就会后悔遇见了我
Okay. I've got some great news.
好吧 我有个好消息
Guess where the Funkman is going for three weeks.
猜猜你们的冯克老伙计要去哪儿待三周
Miami? London!
迈阿密？ 伦敦！
London! Oh ah!
伦敦！ 哦！
How about that? On business, how great is that?
真不错 是去出差 多好啊？
Wow, that's fun. Are you going?
消消气（2000）
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