辛普森一家
The Simpsons S30E13
Part 2
Feb. 1, 2020, 7:52 p.m.
How 'bout we have a contest?
幸运的孩子可以获得阿壳商店
Some lucky kid gets to run around a Krusty store
五分钟经营权 玩具随便拿
for five whole minutes and take all the toys they want.
激发购买♥♥力 还易推广
It inspires buying, it's easy to promote,
而且是第三个人提出来的
and it's the third thing someone pitched.
就这么定了
I'm sold!
看看网飞还有什么剧
Let's see what else Netflix has to offer.
"鉴于您有八十年代怪兽的观看记录"
"Because you watched an '80s show featuring a monster..."
推荐《家有阿福》《罗斯安家庭生活》
Alf, Roseanne,
《蓝色月光》《考斯比一家》
Moonlighting, The Cosby Show--
均为喜剧片
都太恐怖了
They're all too scary.
愿上帝原谅我
God forgive me.
网飞
《怪物奇语》倒数三 二 一
停 我俩得一起看
No. Only when we're together.
这是爱的胶水
It's our glue.
侯默 我是泰德·萨兰多斯
Homer, I'm Ted Sarandos.
网飞首席内容官
Chief Content Officer of Netflix.
这不是梦因为我不认识你
This can't be a dream because I don't know who you are.
我不是梦 这样说吧 我是
I'm not a dream. Let's just say I'm a manifestation
大数据复杂算法的结果 我完全了解你
of complex algorithms that know everything about you.
我不能看 因为
Well, I can't watch this because...
我知道 马姬不让你看
I know. I know. Marge told you not to.
你知道她背着你看
Do you know that she's been watching
有全♥裸♥镜头的北欧犯罪剧吗
Scandinavian crime dramas with full nudity without you?
全♥裸♥是剧情需要
That nudity is story-driven.
你说得对
Yeah, right.
但看《怪物奇语》是属于我俩的时光
But Odder Stuff is our thing.
不 你的时光是跟我们在一起
No. Your thing's with us.
她就是个陪衬
She's just along for the ride.
账户可是你的名字
The account's in your name.
来吧 现在看它
Come on, come on, watch it now.
因为明天订阅价格会涨三倍
Because our subscription prices will triple tomorrow.
第二季完
我终于做完了一件
Wow. I finally finished something
从开始就不该做的事
I wasn't supposed to start.
回味无穷啊
That is impressive.
我甚至不介意再看一次
I won't even mind watching it again with...
候默
Homer?!
我家娘子回来了
The lady from my marriage.
我姑妈病情好转了
My aunt recovered.
你凌晨五点还不睡在干什么
Why are you up at 5:00 A.M.?
电视机还是热的
Still warm.
第二季结束
你看过了
You watched it.
我终于知道在你心里我有多不重要了
I finally learn how little I mean to you.
等等
Wait.
不
No.
广♥告♥剩余时间
跳过广♥告♥
马姬 对不起
Marge, I am sorry.
别生气了 只是部白♥痴♥电视剧
Come on, it's a stupid TV show.
我不想听到你的声音
I don't want to hear your voice.
你要离开我吗
不 不离婚
No. We're staying married.
松了口气
别再打字谜了
Enough with the rebuses.
好吧 我去拿枕头睡沙发
All right, I'll just grab my pillow and sleep on the couch.
不 你睡我旁边
No. You'll sleep right next to me.
因为我要你尝尝从我冰封的心中
Because I want you to feel the bitter rays
射出的仇恨射线
of ice coming from my frozen soul.
真是太冰冷彻骨了
Oh. Oh. It's so bitterly cold.
我没事
I'm fine.
比赛内容是
To enter our contest,
写下一篇15字以内的文章
write down, in 15 words or less,
说说为什么比起上帝和美国来说你更喜欢我
why you love me more than God and America.
前三名的作者将获得
The top three essayists will earn a chance
在阿壳商店无视保安存在
to run roughshod through a Krusty store
肆意横行的机会一次
and not get tased by security.
购物车中玩具最多者
Whoever fills the cart with the most toys
可以免费获得所取玩具
gets to keep them, free.
其余二人获得最差劲的废品 狗屁没有
And the other two get the worst kind of squat: diddly.
狗屁没有 不能在电视上说这个
Diddly? You can't say that word on TV.
此网的员工和猴子不能参加
Employees and monkeys of this network are not eligible.
我不是员工 我是小贩
丽莎 你能帮我写吗
Lis, will you write my essay for me?
什么 你连这个都想不出来吗
What, you can't even come up with,
"我爱阿壳是因为我是班上的小丑
"I love Krusty because I'm a class clown
而他是有品位的小丑"
and he's a clown with class"?
太好了 最棒的是我抄的是你的
Perfect. And the best thing is I'm stealing it from you.
我爱阿壳是因为
我是班上的小丑 而他是有品位的小丑
巴仔·辛普森 六岁
这句肯定能脱颖而出
Ooh, that'll impress 'em.
随你 但有件事我要告诉你
Go ahead. But there's one thing I want you to hear:
赢得不光彩 到头来还是输
when you win by cheating, eventually you lose.
等下 抱歉 你说"赢"的时候
Wait, sorry, after you said "win,"
我就开始想越野车了
I started thinking about dirt bikes.
你背叛了你的妻子 候默
You cheated on your wife, Homer.
我都会等莱尼一起看的
I waited for Lenny before I watched.
还有克里斯·洛克的
After this, we've got a stand-up special
单口喜剧特辑
from Chris Rock.
这个也别跟你老婆一起看
Don't watch that with your wife, either.
别在花♥园♥里睡觉
Quit sleeping in the garden!
爸
Dad?
亲爱的 什么事也没有
Sweetie, everything's fine.
爸 或许你该跟一个比我年纪大的人聊一聊
Dad, maybe you should be talking to someone who's older than me.
泰德·萨兰多斯吗
Ted Sarandos?
泰德·萨兰多斯是谁
Who's Ted Sarandos?
我还指望你知道呢
I was hoping you knew.
宽恕我的罪孽 神父
Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.
我的孩子 你有什么罪
My son, what are your sins?
除了觉得可以在我们教堂坦白外
Aside from thinking our church has confession.
我没等我老婆就看了一部高分神剧
I watched a binge-worthy TV show without my wife.
是《王冠》吗 别把大结局告诉我
Was it The Crown? Don't tell me how it ends.
她不是当女王了吗
Doesn't she become queen?
下地狱吧
Oh, go to Hell.
我该怎么办
Aw, what am I gonna do?
我不知道她想要什么
I don't know what she wants!
《祛魅》
候默 抱歉我的自吹自擂
Homer, sorry to blow my own horn...
但网飞比你更了解你妻子
...but Netflix knows your wife better than you do.
你知道你不在时
Do you know what she watches incessantly
她都看些什么吗
when you're not around?
通常是这个
Usually this thing.
候默的生命体征
舞蹈表演 她爱看这些
Dance shows! She loves 'em!
《前参议员飞舞》 《坟上起舞》
《八胞胎舞者》 《史蒂夫·哈维话说舞蹈》
《你为什么觉得自己能跳舞》 《与明星共跳脱衣舞》
想赢回她的芳心 学习跳舞吧 我的木偶
Want to win her back? Learn to dance, my puppet.
之前我确实让马姬对我的舞技失望过
Hmm. I have disappointed Marge with my dancing in the past.
就这么办
I'll do it!
爵士那点事 初级舞蹈班
你们都让老婆失望了吗
Did you guys all let down your wives?
我才没那么惨
I'm not that pathetic.
我只是花40美元来享受基本的人体接触
I'm just paying $40 an hour for basic human contact.
大家好 我叫茱莉亚
Hello. My name is Julia.
请记住茱莉亚信任你们
Just remember Julia believes in you.
茱莉亚永远信任你们
Julia will always believe in you.
在你成为舞者前茱莉亚会一直在你身边
Julia will stay with you until you are a dancer.
-我叫什么名字 -侯默
- What's my name? - Homer.
-我是问我的名字 -茱莉亚
- No. My name. - Julia.
你为什么来这儿
And why are you here?
我要学会舞蹈
I need to learn how to dance
-来赢回老婆的心 -噢
- to get my wife back. - Aww
很久没有女人这样对我说过了
It's been a long time since a woman said that to me.
现在我们开始
Now we begin.
佐伊甲 佐伊乙 你们跟这些人练
Zoey B, Zoey T, you work with these guys.
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The Simpsons
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