辛普森一家

The Simpsons S30E01

Part 2 Feb. 1, 2020, 7:50 p.m.

天哪马姬
Oh, my God, Marge!
我觉得我们儿子上天堂了
I think our son went to heaven.
其他总统在哪里吗
Were there any other presidents?
没有
No.
那还真是天堂还有什么孩子
It was heaven. What else, boy?
我带了一则口信给你妈
I have a message for you, Mom.
-谁的 -耶稣的
- From who? - Jesus.
如果是骗我的就别说了
Don't say that if it's not true.
你一定要相信他马姬
You have to believe him, Marge.
死人床上的话是其言也善的
It's a deathbed confession.
他还没有要死
He's not on his deathbed.
之前睡这张病床的人死了
The guy in the bed before him died.
妈耶稣要我告诉你 "事情会好起来"
Mom. Jesus said to tell you, "Things will get better."
我真的很想相信
Oh, I really want to believe that.
如果你真看见了耶稣你还看见什么了
If you saw Jesus, did you see anything else?
我看见了你♥爸♥ 布伟业外公
I saw your dad, Grandpa Bouvier.
跟我说说他说了什么只有我知道的事
Tell me something he said that only I would know.
他说
He said...
他觉得候默是个白♥痴♥
he thinks Homer is an idiot.
天哪我能从你的话中听出他的口气来
Oh, my God, I can hear his voice through you.
失陪一会
Excuse me a minute.
干得好儿子
Good work, boy.
你让咱俩暂时脱离了困境
You got us off the hook in the short term,
这才是最紧要的事
which is all that ever matters.
跟我多聊聊天堂孩子
Tell me more about heaven, son.
耶稣骑着一匹彩虹马
Jesus rides a rainbow horse.
有意思马是彩虹色的吗
Fascinating. Is the horse rainbow-colored?
还是说马走在彩虹上
Or does it walk on a rainbow?
彩虹从它的屁♥眼♥里出来
Rainbows come out its butt.
让我充满喜悦地思忖下那副场景
Let me ponder that with joy.
多跟我说些孩子
Tell me more, son.
人行道上没有裂缝
Well, there's no cracks on the sidewalks.
你说自己刷过牙就真的刷过了
And saying you brushed your teeth makes it true.
没有裂缝
谎言成真
你可以跟死去的球员打棒球
You can go to baseball games with all the dead players.
你总能打出本垒打
And you always catch a home run.
天使们会像这样交谈
And the angels talk to each other like this:
那么耶稣有文身吗
Does this... Jesus have any tattoos?
或是什么显著的印记吗
or distinguishing marks?
没有但他觉得布道真的太长了
No, but he really thinks the sermons are too long.
天哪我们要和牧师好好聊下了
Boys, we're gonna have a talk with the Reverend.
当地男孩看见了天堂
他勾手指发誓说这是真的
巴仔
Bart.
我一直没说话
I've held my tongue,
是因为我很感谢你没有毁了我的曲子
because I appreciate you not ruining my song.
你的曲子已经糟到无法破坏了玩去吧
Can't ruin what already sucks. Burn.
好吧那我就有话直说了
All right. I'm just gonna say it.
我觉得你根本没有看见耶稣
I don't think you really saw Jesus.
主警告我
You know, the Lord warned me
会有人不相信的滚吧
there'd be disbelievers. Begone!
我不知道你为什么要这么做
I don't know why you're doing this,
不过你可当心了小谎成大谎
but beware, little lies lead to big lies.
大谎遭报应
And big lies get punished.
魔鬼来敲门了
That's the Devil ringing that bell.
你去开门吗
Are you gonna answer?
我不觉得你吓得着一个死过一回
Hey, don't think you can scare the boy who died
去过天堂的人
and went to heaven.
去开门
Get the door.
别闹了
Hey, cut it out.
不妙脸僵住了
Oh, no, it's stuck.
你好巴仔
Hello, Bart.
我们是基♥督♥教电影制片人
We are Christian movie producers.
所以呢你们的收入都给教堂吗
So... you give all your profits back to the church?
那个你能不能
You... uh... Could you, uh, uh...
叫你♥爸♥爸来一下
Could you get your dad?
侯默我们是最棒的
Homer, we're the best in the business.
我们的电影在烂圣饼网站上平均得分98%
Our films average 98% on Rotten Communion Wafers.
现在我们想说出你儿子的故事
Now, we'd like to tell your son's story.
你们想拍一部巴仔的电影吗
You want to make a movie out of what happened to Bart?
当然
Well, absolutely.
除非这是个谎言
Unless it's not true.
我可以承认儿子说谎
Okay, I could admit the boy totally lied
或者我也可以拍一部来源于真实事件的电影
or I could make a movie inspired by true events.
侯默兄弟你为何犹豫
Brother Homer, why do you hesitate?
我犹豫是因为我非常震惊
I hesitate because I am stunned
你竟然质疑上帝之言
that you doubt the Word of God!
那我们达成了一致
Then we have a deal.
别那么快
Not so fast.
跟大多数人一样我想我懂些规矩
Like most of America, I think I know the movie business.
请说吧你要什么
Please. What would you like?
我要参与剧本制♥作♥
I want input on the script.
我要首演的两个位子
I want two seats to the premiere.
当然我妻子也要一个
And my wife needs a seat as well.
还有我不会感谢乔治亚电影委员会
And I'm not thanking the Georgia Film Commission,
不管怎么样
no matter what.
侯默兄弟这个条件需要祈祷了
We will need to pray on this, Brother Homer.
当然我们祈祷吧
Of course. So will we.
跪下小子
Kneel down, boy.
干嘛
What for?
因为我们要祈祷就像往常一样
Because we're going to pray like we often do.
我们的天父愿你的名受显扬
Heavenly God, who art in heaven, holler out your name.
愿你的国来临我快完事了
Thy Kingdom come. I'm almost done.
我能不能也来加入祈祷圈
Can this square join your circle?
绝对木有问题
Absotively-posilutely.
我非常乐意
In that same spirit, I'm glad to hear it.
-好棒哟 -好耶 -棒极了兄弟
- Oh, hi-diddly-do. - A-dum-dum-diddly. - Diddly-doodly, brother.
-棒棒哒 -么么哒
- Diddly-doodly-diddly-dice. - Diddly. Diddly.
-见到你好高兴鸭 -异父异母的亲兄弟
- Nice to diddly meet you. - Brotherino.
百闻不如一见电影见面会真恐怖
I heard movie meetings were horrible, but I had no idea.
也许你可以和侯默兄弟
Well, perhaps you could write
一起写电影剧本
the screenplay with Brother Homer.
我觉得不行
I don't think so.
等等等等
Wait, wait, wait.
基♥督♥通过我显灵了
I'm being filled with the spirit of Jesus.
真的吗他说什么
Oh, yeah? What's he saying?
他说他希望老爸和弗兰德斯先生
He says he wants Dad and Mr. Flanders
日复一日在小房♥间里工作
to work together day after day in a tiny room,
最好手拉手
preferably holding hands.
没有酒汽水或者巧克力牛奶
No booze, sodas, or chocolate milk.
唯一的点心就是芹菜杆
And the only snacks are celery sticks.
芹菜杆
Celery sticks.
还没完
Not done yet.
老爸基♥督♥叫你带弗兰德斯打保龄球
Dad, Jesus wants you to take Flanders bowling.
给他系鞋带
Tie his shoes for him.
-干嘛 -然后亲他的球
- What for? - And kiss his ball.
这是上帝之言
This is the Word of the Lord.
这样的话我可以全中了
With that kind of attention, I could roll a 73.
《基♥督♥教故事建构》伊兹·哥德堡著
你们俩在干嘛
What are you guys doing?
你觉得呢我们在工作
What's it look like? We're working.
也许我们该歇一歇
Maybe we should take a break.
好主意
Good idea.
互殴环节
好了来吧
Okay, come on.
莱尼你已经说了三十遍"那是她说的"
Lenny, you've pitched "That's what she said" 30 times already.
我强烈怀疑这是不是上帝之言
I highly doubt that's the Word of God.
-试试别的 -那是她说的
- Try something else. - That's what she said.
很赞
That's great!
加进去吧
That's going in.
我的我的还是我的
Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine.
莱尼和我我的还是我的我的
Lenny and me. Mine. Mostly mine. Mine. Mine.