辛普森一家
The Simpsons S30E01
Part 1
Feb. 16, 2020, 9:30 a.m.
《辛普森一家》第30季第1集
大伙
Everyone...
都在打盹
was napping.
-我有责任... -等等 这是
- I made a duty... - Wait, there's...
-*我的人们* -下到这个
- *My people* - come down to the stu...
蒸火腿
Steamed ham.
宇宙的芭蕾舞会继续进行
The cosmic ballet goes on.
-巨大的 -世界之王
- Gigantism. - King of the world!
这是最棒的礼物 侯默
Oh, this is the best gift of all, Homer.
-是吗 -他叫什么名字
- It is? - What's his name?
小八
Number Eight.
恒星#D102365 距离30光年
我是说 圣诞老人小福星
Uh, I mean, Santa's Little Helper.
为什么侯默说话像沃尔特·马修
Why does Homer talk like Walter Matthau?
学生音乐节
今晚八点
票都没卖♥♥完
欢快的大提琴
马丁·普林斯[有王子之意]
马丁·女普林斯[有公主之意]
Hey, Martin Princess.
你那么喜欢那个大提琴 怎么不娶了它
If you like that cello so much, why don't you marry it?
-不许捣乱 -对他们太凶了 先生
- No heckling. - Way to quash 'em, sir.
史校长 你这么喜欢丘督学
Hey, Skinner, if you like Chalmers so much,
你怎么不娶了他
why don't you marry him?
作为督学
Well, as the superintendent,
他已经和所有的校长结婚了
he's married to all the principals.
谢谢你 你让我妻子的忌日
Thank you. You've made the anniversary
更加悲惨了
of my wife's death even more depressing.
谁喜欢欢快的歌♥曲
Who likes happy songs?
好吧 为了那些没有欢呼的人
Well, for those of you who didn't cheer,
接下来是一首关于当今世界的悲伤的歌♥曲
here's a very sad song about the world today.
她爱我 她不爱我
She loves me. She loves me not.
为什么我总是用只有两瓣的花
Oh, why do I always use flowers with two petals?
辛普森 拉火警
Simpson, pull the fire alarm.
你想让我在全校面前
You want me to embarrass my sister
给我姐姐难堪吗
in front of the whole school?
不
No.
我挑战你
I dared you.
火警
别这么干 巴仔
Don't do it, Bart.
求你了 我爱你
Please. I love you.
我不干 我拒绝挑战
I'm not doing it. I'm refusing a dare.
你刚签署了自己的死亡执行令 辛普森
You just signed your death warrant, Simpson.
我们都是证人
And we're the witnesses.
我们只需要一个公♥证♥人
All we need is a notary.
-公♥证♥人 公♥证♥人 -走着瞧
- Notary. Notary. - We'll see.
就是他拒绝了挑战
Oh, it's that kid who refused a dare.
他的生活毁了
His life is ruined.
我要转身背对你
I'm turning my back on you.
你好 巴仔
Hi, Bart.
辛普森 来我办公室
Simpson, I'd like to see you in my office.
你的父母在等你
Your parents are waiting.
巴仔有爸爸
Bart's got a dad.
巴仔有爸爸
Bart's got a dad.
我没有
I do not.
巴仔 我只想说
Bart, I just want to say...
我太为你骄傲了
I'm so proud of you.
爸爸 你觉得我做的对吗
Dad, do you think I did the right thing?
当然 绝对正确
Of course, absolutely.
你做了任何一个男孩都不会做的最烂的事
You did the worst thing any boy can do.
我在他左右双腿上都尿过
It's worse than wetting your pants while on Santa's lap,
这两件事我都做过
and I've been on both sides of that one.
对不起
I'm sorry.
巴仔 你得接受挑战
Bart, you have to take a dare.
-但但但但是 万一 -什么挑战都行
- B-B-But what if it's...? - Any dare.
爷爷 爸爸说我得接受一个挑战
Grampa, Dad says I have to take a dare.
我接受了挑战才有了侯默
I had Homer on a dare,
尽管结局很悲惨 我还是会这么做
and as horrible as that worked out, I'd do that again.
为什么有人挑战你生侯默
Why did someone dare you to have Homer?
是在战争之后 我们需要新生儿
It was after the war; we needed babies.
巴仔 我有个秘密
Bart, I have a secret.
做为你的妈妈 我从来没这么开心过
I've never been happier to be your mother.
你是个好孩子
You're a good boy.
妈妈 求你了 万一有人听见你说话呢
Mom, please. Somebody might hear you.
看看他
Oh, look at him!
哈哈 巴仔的妈妈系着安全带
Ha-ha. Bart's mom wears a seat belt.
让他们笑吧 巴仔
Let them laugh, Bart.
这实在太美好了
This is wonderful.
每一次被嘲笑都能换来妈妈的一个亲亲
Every laugh turns into one more smoochie-poo from Mom.
快停下
Cut it out.
为妈妈的好宝宝欢呼三声
Three cheers for the mama's boys.
抱歉在母亲节这么做
Sorry to do this on Mother's Day!
辛普森 有传闻说
So, Simpson, word on the street
你在寻找挑战
is you're looking for a dare.
对 好吧
Yeah, fine.
我总得把背上的猴子赶走[事情翻篇]
I need to get this monkey off my back.
不如就拿这个做挑战
Hey, how about that for a dare?
在他背上放一只猴子
Putting a monkey on his back.
做完了之后要干啥呢
And after we're done, then what?
我们要永远对那只猴子负责
We have a monkey that's our permanent responsibility.
深谋远虑 聪明
Yeah, think ahead, dingus.
辛普森 我挑战你从死亡男孩跳台上
Simpson, I dare you to jump into the reservoir
跳到水库里来
from Dead Boy's Ledge.
我们就在这个美好的高度围观
We'll be watching from Haw-Haw Heights.
放射性废物
24100年后再打开
辛普森 那是你的孩子吗
Simpson, is that your kid?
我的天 我得拦住他
Oh, my God. I've got to stop him!
我挑战你不要去
I dare you not to.
开玩笑的 白♥痴♥ 去救你儿子
It was a joke, idiot. Get your kid.
巴仔
Bart!
我真的要这么做吗
Do I really have to do this?
挑战
I dare you.
挑战 挑战
Dare you. Dare you.
挑战
Dare you.
我爱回声谷
I love Echo Canyon.
这个地方别名真是不少
Oh, this place sure has a lot of names.
冲鸭
Cowabunga!
我们已经尽力了
We've done all we could.
快跑
Run!
快溜
Beat it!
春田综合医院
奥巴马医改是死是活
他会没事的
He'll be fine.
我的玉米煎饼好了
And my burrito's ready.
你们儿子应该很快就能醒来了
Your boy should wake up soon.
好吧 这次他真的响应挑战了
All right. This time, he's really done it.
我们得做点什么
We're gonna have to do something.
转学 搬家
Change schools. Move.
不管付出什么代价
Whatever it takes.
妈
Mom?
-亲爱的 你没事吧 -没事
- Sweetie, are you okay? - I am.
那你为什么要做这么愚蠢的事
Then why would you do such a stupid, stupid thing?
马姬 马姬 有人跌落
Marge, Marge. As someone who's fallen off
悬崖好几次时
a cliff multiple times,
我们最应该做的就是
the best thing we can do
教他如何摔下悬崖不受伤
is teach him how to fall off cliffs.
我只是想知道 巴仔
I just want to know, Bart.
我之前还抱有希望 现在没了 为什么
I had hope and now I don't. Why?
上帝啊 求求你
Please, O Lord.
让他想出一个完美的谎言吧
Let him think of an awesome lie.
我在另一个世界的时候
Well, when I was in the other world...
什么另一个世界
What other world?
我不是很清楚
I'm not sure.
但那里欢乐 白云朵朵 琴音缭绕
But it was joyful, clouds, harps,
亚伯拉罕·林肯也在
Abe Lincoln.
辛普森一家
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