辛普森一家
The Simpsons S30E16
Part 2
Feb. 1, 2020, 7:53 p.m.
will be heartwarming and tasteful,
不管他有多烂醉或暴躁
no matter how drunk or passive-aggressive he is.
去试试 老侯
Ooh. Give it a try, Homie.
我不会
Oh, I couldn't.
假装我的一个姐姐要结婚了
Pretend one of my sisters is getting married.
那个腿毛很浓密的烟鬼
That hairy-legged ashtray?
把麦给我
Give me the mic.
当我听说有人要娶塞尔玛时
When I heard a guy was marrying Selma,
-我心想 那个可怜的 -天才
- I thought, That poor... - Genius.
-一定是 -眼光很正常
- ...must be... - Fully sighted.
-还有 -不是为了拿走她的器官
- ...and... - Not marrying her
而娶她
to harvest her organs.
谢天谢地 找到赫弗南夫妇了
Thank God. The Heffernans.
对 我就是
Oh, right. That's me.
D·R·赫弗南
D.R. Heffernan.
是博士
That's "Doctor."
对 赫弗南博士
Right. Dr. D.R. Heffernan.
还有两分钟主题演讲就要开始了
The keynote speech is in two minutes.
什么是主题演讲
What's a keynote speech?
能想象吗 赫弗南博士问我什么是主题演讲
Imagine Dr. Heffernan asking me what a keynote speech is.
这边请
This way.
我假扮的这个人
Finally, things are looking up
终于慢慢开始交好运了
for the person I'm pretending to be.
明年的婚礼流行趋势
10 更长的走廊
9 第二位伴郎
8 分开蜜月旅行
7 花
6 文化挪用
5 车身广♥告♥
4 回忆卷轴
3 朋友
2 沙鲽
1 真爱
新婚礼流行趋势第一名就是
And the number one new wedding trend is...
真爱
True love!
真爱 真爱
True love! True love!
如果我们出了书就买♥♥一本吧
Buy our book if we have one.
我开始觉得那不是赫弗南博士了
I'm starting to think that's not Dr. Heffernan.
真是个
What a...
完美的夜晚
perfect night.
你在这等着
You wait here while I go...
我去付钱给保姆
pay the babysitter.
我不会付你钱的
I'm not paying you!
滚出我家
Get out of my house!
回来晚了
Later.
现在 我的夫人 请到闺房♥一聚
And now, my lady, to the boudoir,
应该就是卧室旁边的一个地方
which I believe is somewhere near the bedroom.
我已经把你抱起来了吗
Have I picked you up yet?
我都感觉不到
I can't te-- Oh!
你真轻
You're so light!
完美之夜的
Perfect end to...
完美结局
perfect night!
你想和我做♥爱♥吗
Voulez-vous coucher avec...
搞什么
What the?!
我觉得我们不应该再听下去了
I guess we should stop listening now.
没人逼你一直听
No one's making you stay.
春田综合医院
肺结核还是不是肺结核
这是个问题
马姬 恐怕你以后都不能走路了
Marge, I'm afraid your days of walking are over.
天呐
Oh, my God!
在未来的36小时内
For about 36 hours.
那之后 这个轻微扭伤的足踝将完好如初
By then, this mild ankle sprain should be good as new.
都怪我
It's my fault.
要不是我长胖几斤 老侯就不会抱不动我了
Homie wouldn't have dropped me if I hadn't put on a few pounds.
胡说 嫁给这玩意儿
Nonsense. It's not your fault you're married to a...
又不是你的错
this.
那是一个多么美妙的约会之夜
And it was such a good date night.
现在已经是疝气之晨了
Well, now it's a hernia morning.
你的腹壁有一块撕裂
See, you've got a tear in your abdominal wall
导致一小节肠子跑出来了
and a section of your intestine has pushed through.
你不打算笑话我吗
Aren't you going to chuckle?
腹股沟疝可不是能让人笑得出来的事
An inguinal hernia is no laughing matter.
腹股沟
"Inguinal."
要做手术吗
Will I need surgery?
有可能 但别紧张
Possibly. But don't be alarmed.
就是拿手术刀在你的阴囊附近切几下
It's just some scalpel work around your scrotum.
再往前开点
A little more.
再开点
Little more.
再多一点点
Little more...
错了 这是雨刮器
No, those are the wipers!
你刚呼叫了安吉星
Oh, you just called OnStar.
安吉星
通用汽车上的安全信息服务
听着 你们不再是小孩子了
Now, look, you two, you're not kids anymore.
多听身体怎么说 它会告诉你该怎么做
Listen to your body. It'll tell you what to do.
这里是安吉星接线员
OnStar operator.
您遇到了什么紧急情况
What is your emergency?
我喜欢的每个喜剧演员
Every comedian I thought is funny
都死了
is dead.
傻猫和坏鼠
The Itchy and Scratchy Show!
有可能导致的不良反应 幻觉
"Possible side effects may include hallucinations..."
易怒
"Irritability,
注意力涣散
inability to fo... cus."
这样这样 那样那样
Blah, blah, blah.
不能和酒一起喝[也有不能混在酒里之意]
"Do not mix with alcohol"?
行吧 我就勉为其难分开喝
Fine, I'll drink it separately.
小子 帮我拿罐啤酒
Boy, get me a beer.
你在干什么
Huh? What are you doing?
帮你恢复
Helping you get better.
我刚在看动物星球频道
I was watching Animal Planet,
里面说如果河马宝宝够不到自己的食物
and they said, if it can't reach its own food,
就会死掉
the hippo dies.
巴仔 小甜仔 爸爸妈妈现在需要你
Bart, honey, your father and I need you
更像个大孩子一点
to be a little more grown-up.
你能做到吗
Can you do that?
我觉得你肯定行
I bet you can.
没问题 老妈
You got it, Mom.
亲爱的 我下午给咱们报名了理疗班
Honey, I signed us up for physical therapy this afternoon.
听起来很棒
They sound terrific.
仅仅是预了个约
Even booking the appointment,
他们都夸我好样的
they told me, "Great job."
我赞成
Absolutely.
我想好起来
I want to get better.
真的很想
I really do.
我知道
I know you do.
我们明天就开始
We'll start tomorrow.
我不建议参加理疗班
I would caution against physical therapy.
我们这样的男人穿上短裤会惨不忍♥睹
Guys like us don't look good in shorts.
不良反应可能包括
幻觉
为什么不良反应里从来没有生发
Oh, why is it never hair growth?
嗨 我是你的疝气
It's me, your hernia.
侯默 医生说要多听听身体说的话
Homer, your doctor told you to listen to your body.
现在我告诉你
And I am telling you,
别管那么多
just take it easy.
你确定
Are you sure?
我刚刚才答应了马姬
I just promised Marge.
你就听我老疝一句劝
Take it from your hernia.
春田理疗中心
我们接受一切形式的保险 你的除外
你能行的 马姬
Oh, you've got this, Marge!
只要把注意力都集中在你的"核熏"上
Now, focus on your co-ah.
可能我一直都忽视了我的"壳熏"
I guess I've been neglecting my key-aah.
是这个吗
Is it this?
不是 我的意思是 如果你有一块肌肉
No. All I can say is, if you have a muscle
而你知道它的功能 那就不是"核熏"
and you know what it does, then that is not the co-ah.
你是说核心啊
Oh, the core.
我就是这么说的呀 核熏
Right, that's what I said-- co-ah.
我们接下来要做什么运动 马姬
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