辛普森一家
The Simpsons S30E17
Part 3
Feb. 1, 2020, 7:53 p.m.
*全世界的冠军* 马姬什么事
*World.* Yes, Marge?
我注意到你花了很多时间陪巴仔
I've noticed how much time you've been spending with Bart.
我知道你要说什么
I know what's coming.
我逼他太紧 你要我缓缓
I'm riding him too hard, and you want me to pull back.
-不是的 -搞什么
- No. - What the...?
说实话 我非常担心那孩子
Honestly, I worry so much about that boy,
我怕他最后会坐牢
I'm afraid he's going to wind up in jail.
马姬 他的杀人率是98%
Marge, his kill count is 98%.
像他这样的人不会进监狱
Guys like that don't end up in jail.
我保证 我会尽全力教他
And I promise you, I will coach him as hard as I can.
但你也会教他成为一个好人吗
But will you also coach him to be a good man?
那是弗兰德斯的事儿
That's Flanders' job.
我马上办
I'm on it.
是侯默·辛普森吗 请进吧
Homer Simpson? Go right in.
欢迎你 侯默 欢迎来到老爸俱乐部
Welcome, Homer. Welcome to the club of dads
大家的孩子都是杰出的运动健将
who live through their glorious athletic children.
泰格·伍兹的老爸
Tiger Woods' father.
嘿我有名字的 虽然我忘了叫啥
Hey, I have a name, although I've forgotten it.
那是早上五点
Okay, so it's 5:00 in the morning.
我儿子四岁
My son is four.
他撞上了木板开始流血
He hits the boards and starts bleeding.
他的手肘破了皮
His elbow's sticking out of his skin.
我当然拿了相机 他说
Yeah, I got my camera, and he says,
"爸爸你在干什么"
"Daddy, what are you doing?"
我说"我在拍下你最后一次哭的样子"
I said, "I'm filming the last time you are ever gonna cry."
-太棒了 -很好的教育
- Oh, that is great. - Ha. Excellent coaching.
真的吗 这不算卑鄙吗
Really? It's not mean?
侯默 我们是着迷运动的超级老爸
Homer, we're obsessive sports fathers,
所以我们会用我们唯一知道的方法
so we're gonna teach you how to motivate
-教会你如何充满动力 -别打我
- the only way we know how. - Don't hit me.
我们铁定要打你
Oh, we're gonna hit you, all right.
用歌♥声打动你
With a song.
*从来不想要法网满贯*
*Never wanted Roland-Garros*
*从不想把它变成一场秀*
*Never made it to the show*
*从没赢过斯坦利杯*
*Never won the Stanley Cup trophy*
*就这么过了五年*
*For five years in a row*
*我们这辈子真的没干什么事儿*
*There's nothing in our lives that we ever really did*
*除了把孩子培养成巨星*
*Except made our child a superstar*
*靠孩子而活*
*And lived through our kid*
*用孩子实现自己理想*
*Live, live through your kid*
*早上五点就把他叫醒*
*Wake him up at 5:00 *
*用孩子实现自己理想*
*Live, live through your kid*
*只有这样才没白活*
*It's the only way to feel alive*
*把他绑在曲棍球杆上*
*Strap him to a hockey stick*
*此时他仍在睡梦中*
*While he is still asleep in bed*
*造个吓人的网球喷球龙*
*Build a scary dragon to fire tennis balls*
*正对他脑门*
*Right at his head*
*训练再折磨也不为过*
*There's no training that's too torturous*
*比赛再残酷也不为过*
*Or cruel to play this game*
*因为当他们在卵石滩上获得胜利时*
*Because when they win at Pebble Beach*
*你也会因此出名*
*You share in the fame*
*用孩子实现自己的人生 妈妈在家教育*
*Live, live through your kid, homeschooled by his mom*
*用孩子实现自己理想
*Live, live through your kid*
*他们一定会恨你*
*They'll surely come to hate you*
*不过那是之后的事*
*But that's later on*
*世间再也没有比这更美好的事*
*There is absolutely nothing like*
*用孩子实现*
*Living through*
*自己理想*
*Your kid*
这依然是梦 候默
This is still part of the dream, Homer.
敌人冲突竞标赛
常青恐怖队VS卡尔加里弱爆队
首都市政中心
连队服都没有
No uniforms?
常青恐怖队
我支持那些弱鸡
I'm rooting for those underdogs.
对 你就是想支持 虽然不知道为什么
Yes, you are, and you don't even know why.
我刚说了 因为他们没有队服
I just said, it's the no uniforms.
一无所知
Not a clue.
引诱消耗那些巨人
Poke and harness those trolls.
交给我 内尔森 准备好支援我
On it. Nelson, get ready to back me up
以防他们的英雄攻击我
in case their heroes engage on me.
这就来
On my way.
-这是个陷阱 -他们来抓我了
- It's a trap! - They're ganking me.
该死 我被杀了
Damn it, they got me.
还有30秒复活
Respawning in 30.
他们在鞭我的尸体
They're control-sixing my corpse.
卡尔加里弱爆队
我们要赢了
We're gonna win.
就快出来了 戈迪
It's coming, Gordy.
枫糖浆
等下
Hold on a minute.
巴仔·辛普森还没有放弃比赛
Bart Simpson has not given the "GG."
他在龙粪便中安置的钻石地雷
And the diamonite mine he planted in the dragon turds
马上要爆♥炸♥了
is exploding now.
蓝队胜利
去韩国首尔争夺世界冠军的
Springfield is going to the world championships
将是春田队 加拿大队淘汰
in Seoul, South Korea, while the Canadian team is out.
"淘汰"
"Out"?
"脱汰"
"Oot."
怎么回事 不是吧 究竟怎么回事
Yo, what the...? Oh, come on, what's that all about?
我也奇怪呢
And I am, too.
这是我最后一次宣布比赛结果
This is the last match I'll announce.
我要去画油画了
I'm going to spend my time oil painting,
但我老婆说不能在家里画
but my wife says not in the house.
亲爱的 你怎么了
Hey, sweetie, what's going on?
我现在跟你说话只是为了表明一个观点
I'm only talking to you now to prove a point.
你把所有时间都花在陪巴仔身上
You've been spending all your time with Bart,
根本就没空理我
and you haven't paid any attention to me at all.
我知道你只会说一句
And I know you're just gonna respond with a,
"不错 亲爱的" 然后离开 我知道
"That's nice, honey," and move on. I know it.
做得不错 亲爱的
That's nice, honey.
巴仔和我要去韩国了
Bart and I are going to South Korea.
这样也好 丽莎 我们享受一下闺蜜时光
It'll be great, Lisa. We'll have girls time here.
烤饼干 看我们想看的电影
Bake cookies, see the movies we want to see.
妈 我想饶过你 因为我不希望你为了
Mom, I try to spare you because I don't want you feeling
家庭对我的不公而把所有责任都怪到自己头上
thoroughly appropriate guilt for what this family does to me,
但现在我的一个梦想就在我手中
but now one of my dreams is within my grasp.
看见没
See?
梦想
去韩国看曹溪寺
让爸爸知道回收
比巴仔高三厘米
我想去韩国 去曹溪佛教寺院
I want to go to South Korea, to the Jogyesa Buddhist monastery,
因为他们教的东西非常特别 很有魔力
because they teach something there so special, so magic,
能改变我的人生
it could be life-changing.
只是太遥不可及了 我只能接受现实
It just never seemed possible, and I had to accept it.
现在我正抓着这根救命稻草
I'm holding onto a thin rope here,
因为如果巴仔和爸爸去首尔没有带上我
because if Bart and Dad go to Seoul and I miss out,
我就会抓狂
I'll lose my grip.
我现在就要抓狂了
I'm losing it now!
听见我 亲爱的上帝 快听见我的心声吧
Hear me, hear me, dear God, someone hear me.
再没人帮我就来不及了
Help me before it's too late!
闺蜜韩国旅行
Girls trip to South Korea.
谢谢你 妈妈
Oh, thank you, Mom.
我去地下室拿我的快乐日记
I'm going down to the basement to get my happy diary.
去吧
You do that.
韩国 首尔
辛普森动画工作室及赌场
非军事区庭院
椒盐脆饼干 M&M 品客
Pretzels, M&M's, Pringles.
简直就是感恩节晚餐
It's a complete Thanksgiving dinner.
只有冠军才能吃品客
Pringles are for champions only.
苗浩斯 能借一步说话吗
Milhouse, can I have a word with you?
不 这从来就没有好事
Oh, no. This is never, ever good.
别担心 会是好消息的
Don't worry. This will be good.
骗你的 是个很糟的消息
I lied. This is really bad.
孩子 比赛规则说我们这一轮可以
Son, the rules say that we get to swap in
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