辛普森一家

The Simpsons S30E03

Part 3 Feb. 1, 2020, 7:51 p.m.

你根本一窍不通
about world-class dinner service.
你给我听着我知道我们留着不同血液
Now listen here. I know we may not look like much,
但是你真正的枪口
but when a fish knife needs to be placed just so,
应该对准那些人
they're the mugs you want.
我是您的那个
I am your, um, uh...
法语的"侍酒师"怎么说
How do you say "Sommelier" in French?
老谋子咖啡厅我是老谋子
Café Meaux. Meaux speaking.
我找裤先生
I'd like to speak to Monsieur Pants,
-他名字叫"尿" -稍等一下
- first name Pierre. - Un moment.
尿裤显示尿裤先生
Pierre Pants? Pierre Pants?!
拜托尿裤先生哪位
Oh, come on, anyone in this joint Pee Your Pants?
幽默万岁
Heil humor!
只有德国人能笑
Laughing is for Germans only.
现在说出你家在法国的具体♥位♥置
Now, precisely what part of France are you from?
诺曼底海滩
Eh... Normandy beach.
要被登陆的那个地方
You know, where the invasion's coming.
我们必须通知装甲部队
We must warn our Panzers!
得阻止他们但该怎么做
We got to stop 'em. But how?
别问我我什么都不信除了我的祖国
Don't ask me. I believe in nothing, except my country.
*前进祖国儿女快奋起*
*Allons enfants de la patrie*
法国国歌♥《马赛曲》
*光荣一天等着你*
*Le jour de gloire est arrivé*
*你看暴君正对着我们*
*Contre nous de la tyrannie*
*举起染满鲜血的旗*
*L'étendard sanglant est levé*
*他冲到你的身边*
*Ils viennent jusque dans nos bras*
*杀死你的儿女和妻*
*Egorger nos fils, nos compagnes*
女士跟我来
Come with me, fraulein,
尼采般的狂热会占领一切
and everything will be Nietzsche keen.
你可以喝我的酒拿我的金子
You can drink our beer, you can take our gold,
带走我的女人
you can take my wife.
不这不行
No, you can't!
婚姻顾问说过
Well, the marriage counselor said
我们应该试着找找共同爱好所以
we should try to find a common interest, so, uh...
*不没什么*
*Non, rien de rien*
《不我不后悔》
*不我不后悔*
*Non, je ne regrette rien*
*无论*
*Ni le bien*
约柜
老谋子很抱歉让你亲了一条鱼
Oh, Meaux, I am so sorry I ever made you kiss a fish.
Meaux 法国城市莫城
那次是鱼吗
That was a fish?
但这次不是
But this isn't.
卧室更别有洞天呦
There's more in the bedroom.
我们还有卧室
We have a bedroom?
也就是说无神论者也有丰功伟绩
So, it goes to show atheists can do great things, too.
好吧我同意
All right, I agree.
让有功的无神论者上天堂
We will open Heaven to the deserving atheists.
如果让他们上天堂这有个不合适的人
And if you let them in, there are a few mistakes
可以被代替
I'd recommend getting rid of.
克里斯多弗·哥伦布
Christopher Columbus.
意大利著名航海家地理大发现的先驱者
你俩说啥呢
Hey, what are you two talking about?
没事你在干嘛
Nothing. What are you doing here?
寻找去洗手间最近的路线
I was looking for a quicker route to the bathroom,
然后我迷路了
and I got lost.
噢是佛爷啊
Oh, it's him.
伙计们
Hey, dudes.
想摸摸我的肚子吗
Who wants to rub my belly?
不考虑天堂增加其他信仰吗
Now, why don't you consider other faiths for your Heaven?
就像我也说不清佛陀之类的
Like, oh-- I don't know-- the way of the Buddha?
没上衣没鞋这人就没救
I say no shirt, no shoes, no salvation.
请看丽莎·辛普森
I say we have Lisa Simpson.
有受救赎之人有做善举之人
Well, there is redemption, and there are good works.
但还有另一种人
But there is another path.
一条不掺杂自傲和占有欲的启蒙之路
A path to enlightenment without ego or possessions.
说不上来耶稣很喜欢
I don't know. Jesus is pretty fond
他随身带着的那个大加号♥
of that plus sign he's always carrying around.
我讲一个启蒙故事
Let me share the Buddhist path to Heaven
来向天堂讲述佛法
with an enlightened tale I call
我叫它《与迪士尼无关的公主》
"The Princess Not Affiliated With Disney."
除非我们现在被迪士尼买♥♥了
Unless we are now owned by Disney.
公元前六世纪
In the sixth century B.C.,
也就是佛教日历还没出现的时候
or zero in the Buddhist calendar...
不对你们那时候有日历
Oh, you have your own calendar.
今天是什么日子胡说八道日吗
What's today, the fifth of Bibbity-boo?
佛教日历还没出现的时候
zero in the Buddhist calendar,
有一位受宠的公主她叫释迦玛尼
lived the spoiled Princess Siddmartha.
释迦玛尼亲爱的看这是什么
Siddmartha, sweetie, look what we got you.
哇一匹小马
Oh. A pony.
五十匹
50 ponies!
不知怎的五十匹马看起来比一匹还少
Oh. Somehow 50 ponies -seem less than one.
公主想既然要什么就有什么
The princess wondered, if nothing was denied her,
为什么她还得不到满足
why was she not satisfied?
为什么她不能像他哥哥那样开心
Why couldn't she be happy like her brother
玩着愚蠢的多人线上游戏傻乐呵
with his stupid multiplayer games?
弟弟你不觉得这些富裕令人厌倦吗
Brother, do you not grow weary of this opulence?
也许吧但总有衰败的时候
Sometimes, but there's always the decadence.
衰败和富裕之间应该有中间地带
There must be a middle path between opulence and decadence.
胀气吗
Flatulence?
不是
No.
拜托有没有人替大象考虑一下
Please, somebody, think of the elephants!
释迦玛尼公主
Princess Siddmartha,
也许你的问题星星会有答案
perhaps the stars hold the answer to your questions.
不如你看看吧
Why don't you take a look?
切
Meh.
这些孩子们一无所有却过得如此开心
Those children have nothing, but they're enjoying themselves.
也许这些财物蒙蔽了我的双眼
Maybe all these riches have blinded me
看不清♥真♥正重要的东西
to what really matters:
山羊头
goats' heads.
那是我的
That's mine.
给释迦玛尼的礼物
给释迦玛尼的更多礼物
释迦玛尼没有打开的礼物
鸽子制成的多芬香皂[谐音]
*我腰缠万贯*
*I live a life of great excess*
*却苦恼不堪*
*And yet I find no happiness
*我希望生命能够更加深奥*
*There's more to life than this, I hope*
*而不只是金浴缸和香皂*
*Than golden tubs and fragrant soap*
*我应有尽有却不喜反忧*
*All kinds of stuff, and yet I mope*
*我要更少*
*I want less*
*我不想创造人生高度*
*Don't want to grab life by the horns*
*不想有机会发财致富*
*Don't want to grab that brass ring*
*听我讲啊听我唱*
*Hear me shout and hear me sing*
*我想要的只有一样*
*All I want is just one thing*
*我要更少我要更少*
*I want less, I want less*
*更少更少*
*Less, less, less*
*我想要更多的*
*I want more of*
*更少*
*Less*
更少
Less.
哎呀
Oops.
加德满都大学
扁豆斗士们的母校
释迦玛尼乔装成一个穷苦男孩
Disguised as a poor boy, Siddmartha sought out
开始在王国上下寻找有识之士
the most learned scholars in the kingdom.
但她很快发现
But she soon learned
加德满都大学和尼尔卡纳塔神庙技术学院一样
Kathmandu U, like Budhanilkantha Tech,
也是一所玩乐大学
was just another party school.
湿美人比赛
不好意思
Excuse me.
你们在虚度人生
You're wasting your lives, man.
今年是佛教日历零年有什么可学的
It's the year zero. How much is there to learn?
走吧姑娘我们去找寻内心平静
Come on, girl. Let's find inner peace.
我在王宫就很开心
我毫无方向不如坐在这菩提树下吧
I will sit under this Bodhi Tree because I am void of ideas.
于是释迦玛尼坐着一直坐着
So, Siddmartha sat and sat and sat and sat,
她愿意等得比永远更久
willing to wait forever and a day
直到大彻大悟