辛普森一家
The Simpsons S30E02
Part 1
Feb. 1, 2020, 7:50 p.m.
辛普森一家
第三十季 第二集
一个月之前
One month ago,
12对夫妇来到这个热带小岛上
12 couples arrived on this tropical island.
经过紧急的热气球着陆
After an emergency balloon landing,
水母爆♥炸♥袭击 还有我们见的最多的
a jellyfish explosion and the most-viewed
哈密瓜弹射事故
cantaloupe catapult accident of all time,
只剩下了四对
just four couples remain.
我是塔·塔克伯 这是只在一个地点举办的
I'm Tag Tuckerbag, and this is the greatest adventure
最棒的冒险之旅
to take place in just one place.
《奇幻之旅》
-《奇幻之旅》 -《奇幻之旅》
- The Amazing Place! - The Amazing Place!
旅行节目
The Place Show.
最后一关是莲叶蹦蹦蹦
The final challenge is the Lily Pad Leap.
自从第22季之后就没人能完成莲叶蹦蹦蹦
They haven't done the LP Leap since season 22,
美与性感的较量
"Beauty versus Sexy."
凯拉 别踩到边缘 你会掉下去的
Kayla, don't step on the stem. You'll flip the pad.
你该知道啊 你可是个人生导师啊
You should know that. You're life coach.
-他们掉下去了 -他们掉下去了
- They flipped the pad! - They flipped the pad.
真菜
What a noob.
赫克托和奥黛丽·张 你们成为
Hector and Audrey Chang, you have won
《奇幻之旅》的冠军
The Amazing Place!
早说过了
Called it.
妈妈 你总是能猜到冠军
Mom, you always call the winner.
你是怎么知道的
How do you know?
你♥爸♥爸经常去老谋子酒馆或玩足球游戏
Well, your father may have Moe's and football,
但是我只有这个节目陪伴
but I have being by myself and this show.
你喜欢冒险吗 喜欢头巾吗
Do you like adventure, bandanas
想让朋友看到你在节目里失控的样子吗
and having your friends see you melt down on TV?
期待你加入第48季《奇幻之旅》
We want you for season 48 of The Amazing Place.
奇幻之旅
你们俩怎么不去参加这个节目试试
Why don't you guys try out for that show?
肯定能大获全胜
You would dominate.
不 我不行
Oh, no, I couldn't.
你知道他们怎么说吗 只要不参加
You know what they say: you don't fail
你就不会失败
at 100% of the shots you don't take.
但是这个节目你每集都看
But you've watched every episode of the show
导演的评论你也都听了
and listened to the director commentaries.
你甚至还让我们玩那个可怕的家庭版游戏
You even made us play the terrible home game.
《奇幻之旅》
-去吧妈妈 -去试试看
- Come on, Mom. - Just try out.
-去吧 试试看 -去吧
- Come on, try out. - Come on.
-去吧 去试试 -试试嘛
- Come on, try out. - Try out.
-试试吧 -试试吧妈妈
- Try out. - Try out, Mom.
-试试吧 -试试吧
- Try out! - Try out!
-去吧 你就去吧妈妈 -去吧
- Come on, just do it, Mom! - Come on!
就去吧
Just try out!
-去吧 -妈妈
- Come on. - Mom.
-就去试试吧 -你怎么就不去呢
- Just try out. - Why don't you try out?
-尝试一下 -去吧 试一下
- Just try out. - Come on, do it.
我不去 给我闭嘴
I'm not trying out, so just can it.
我让我的孩子闭嘴
I said "Can it" to my own children.
我成了什么人了
What have I become?
宝贝 你要找时间告诉他们了
Baby, you've got to tell them sometime.
告诉我们什么
Tell us what?
家里所有的秘密我们都知道
We know all the family secrets.
比如爸爸投资连锁嚼烟草的咖啡馆
Like that Dad lost our college funds
把我们的大学基金都赔进去了
investing in a chain of chewing tobacco cafes.
"包牙齿"是个好生意
Dippin' Dens was a great idea.
只不过吐痰啥的不太方便
We just weren't prepared for all the spitting.
好吧 我还是都说了吧
Well, I might as well come clean.
咀嚼屋拥有整个非核心咀嚼市场
The real tragedy is now Chaw House owns
才是真正的悲哀
the entire casual chewing market.
被否定的梦想 被推迟的梦想 被打碎的梦想
真♥相♥就是 我们已经试过了
The truth is, we have tried out.
几十次了
Dozens of times.
《奇幻之旅》
为什么要选我们参加《奇幻之旅》呢
Why should you pick us to be on The Amazing Place?
因为我们是从不会拌嘴的好朋友
Because we're best friends who never bicker.
我们总是掐着对方的喉咙
Wee constantly at each other's throats.
我们是摩托骑手
We're motorcycle bikers.
这只是我们的伪装
That's our persona.
我们搞不清楚你们喜欢什么
We have no idea what you want.
拜托选我们吧
Just please pick us.
你怎么还在做这个
Why are you still doing this?
我们已经上过节目了
We were already on that show
就那次我们不得不爬进排水沟
where we had to crawl into a drainage ditch.
只有你自己 而且也不是在节目上
That was just you, and it wasn't a show.
那是警用记录仪
It was a police bodycam.
那可是个好节目
That was a good show.
被拒绝了46次之后 我就知道了
After 46 rejections, I can take a hint.
他们不想让我俩去
They don't want us.
知道吗 真人秀都喜欢凄惨的故事
You know, reality shows love a sob story,
这个储物箱里就是现成的催泪故事
and we've got a storage bin full of tears.
我姐姐肯定能在我喂狗吃棉花糖
And I've got a sister who will edit them together
并且观察会发生什么的时候
while I feed the dog marshmallows
把片子剪好
and see what happens.
春田镇鱿鱼港
《奇幻之旅》今日预选
我们不是来交朋友的
Oh, we're not here to make friends.
除非我遇到一个想跟我做朋友的男人
Unless I meet some awesome guy who-who wants to be my friend.
我在奶茶店遇到了一个非常酷的人
Yeah, I met this really cool guy at the boba place,
但他说他要搬去香港了
but he said he was moving to Hong Kong and, uh,
还不知道自己的电♥话♥号♥码
he didn't know his number yet.
每个真人秀都需要那种疯狂 无下限的人
Every reality show needs that crazy, no-limits guy
去打破社会的禁忌 对吗
that just shatters society's taboos, right?
在镜头前让你们大吃一惊
Well, break out your pixelation machine,
因为我是你们的吃臭虫的裸体胖子
because I am your bug-eating nude fatso.
还有 我不是来交朋友的
Oh, also, I'm not here to make friends.
天呐 已婚小孩
Oh, my God, married kids?
你们入选了
You're in the show.
才不是
Ew, no.
我们是代表一些另类怪人来的
We're here on behalf of some different weirdos.
我们的父母每一季《奇幻之旅》
Our parents have tried out for every season
都收看了
of The Amazing Place.
我爸甚至录下了我妈妈
My dad would even record my mom
打开信件看是否被选中的影像
opening your letters in case they got picked.
试想如果我们的妈妈发现自己上电视了
So think what a magical TV moment it would be
会是怎样一个神奇的节目效果
for our mom to find out she made it on the show.
她已经万念俱灰了
After losing all hope.
而她根本不知道自己申请了
When she didn't even know she applied.
终极死忠粉美梦成真的
The ultimate superfan gets one last chance
最后机会
to make her dreams come true.
我说不好 听起来有点幕后黑手
I don't know, it sounds a little manipulative.
你被解雇了
You're fired.
我觉得我们刚发现了我们的波士顿罗伯
I think we just found our Boston Rob.
美国真人秀明星
参加了多次真人秀节目 包括《急速前进》和《幸存者》
或者说是你们的春田克兰西
Or your Springfield Clancy.
怎么样 怎么样
Huh? Huh?
电费单 逾期了
Ectric bill, past due,
"包牙齿"网站更新
Website renewal "DippinDens.Com."
这是什么
What's this?
恭喜 马姬和侯默·辛普森
"Congratulations, Marge and Homer Simpson.
你们赢得此次机会去参加...
You have been selected to compete on..."
《奇幻之旅》节目
The Amazing Place!
塔·塔克伯
Tag Tuckerbag?
塔·他二伯
Tag Buggernut?
对了 被拒绝数年之后
This is it. After years of rejection,
二位终于要上《奇幻之旅》
you two will finally compete for a million dollars
角逐百万奖金了
on The Amazing Place.
但我们根本没有参加报名
But we didn't even try out.
我编辑了你们之前的试镜
I edited together your old auditions.
我在被忽略的地方加了注释
And I gave notes which were ignored.
我的疯狂梦想要成真了
My crazy dream is coming true.
先签了这些神奇弃权协议
辛普森一家
The Simpsons
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