辛普森一家
The Simpsons S35E01
Part 1
March 18, 2024, 8:42 p.m.
《辛普森一家》
第三十五季 第一集
终于除掉了银河系所有的巨怪
Finally, a galaxy without trolls.
你肌肉猛♥男♥英雄统治到此为止了 弗莱叙隆
Your reign of muscly heroism ends here, Flexulon.
翱翔吧 我的金色朋友
Soar high, my golden friend.
今日 我们择日再死
For today, we die another day.
下一站 邦尤仑五号♥星上阴冷潮湿黏糊的森林
Next stop, the dank sticky jungles of Bong-ulon Five.
伙计 你不该让他把一整盘致幻蛋糕都吃了的
Dude, you shouldn't have let him eat that whole pan of acid brownies.
我狡辩一下 其实我觉得会很酷
In my defense, I-I thought it'd be cool,
而且我是对的
and I was right.
春田小学
今晚
关于校车问题的紧急家长会
我们发誓不含种族议题
由于奥托开着校车带着蛋糕烤盘跑路了
So, since Otto has disappeared with our bus and our brownie pans,
家长需要送孩子来上学
parents will have to drive their own children to school.
如果你们组队拼车的话
Well, fewer of you would have to drive
就不用每天每人都开车了
if you sat down and arranged a carpool schedule.
我杀了你
I'll kill you!
不然让孩子自己走路上学
Or your children could walk to school
你们就不用管了
so none of you have to do anything.
那就走路吧
Walking it is.
但是还需要一位自告奋勇的家长
However, we do need one parent volunteer
来组建过路协管小组
to complete our team of noble crossing guards.
只需要再来一位家长就够了
Just, uh, one engaged parent is all we need.
太棒了 我全力支持
Hell yeah! You know I'm in.
我等了一辈子了
I've been waiting for this my whole life.
侯默·辛普森 非常好
Homer Simpson. Wonderful.
他说啥
Hmm? What'd he say?
我刚刚在看《菜鸟大反♥攻♥》的重启预告片
I was watching the trailer for the Revenge of the Nerds reboot.
约翰·塞纳演鼻涕虫
John Cena is playing Booger.
侯默你刚刚报名了
Homer, you just volunteered.
完犊子
Dear God.
不 停下 投降[让路]
No. Stop. Yield.
看看 他满嘴术语 这兄弟是干介个的
Well, he's got the lingo down. This guy's a natural.
现在我天还没亮就得起床
Now I got to wake up at the butt-crack of dawn
去帮熊孩子过马路
to walk loser kids across some loser street.
千万别要孩子 莱尼
Never have children, Lenny.
这你可不用担心
You don't have to worry about that.
其实我生来就没有...
See, I was born without...
危险
什么情况 7G部门蓝色警报
What the...? We've got a code blue in 7-G.
重复 蓝色警报
Repeat, code blue.
危险
说起来
Anyhoo,
你发现自动贩卖♥♥机里有个苹果吗
you notice there's an apple for sale in the vending machine?
谁会买♥♥那玩意啊
I mean, who would buy that?
双倍冷却液 快点 -收到
Double the coolant levels, now. - I'm on it.
备用泵正在待命
Backup pumps on standby.
卡尔森 将蒸汽阀泄压60p
Carlson, decrease the steam valves by 60p.
莱昂纳德 操纵控制杆
Leonard, the control rods.
戴眼镜的 为我们祈祷
You, glasses, pray for all our souls.
听我指令切换发生器
Now, switch generators on my count.
五
Five.
四
Four. _
安全控制台
三
Three.
真的安全控制台
二
Two.
安全控制台
真的安全控制台
执行
Implement.
危险
危险解除
成功啦 -太棒啦
We did it! - Boolah, boolah.
伙计们
Um, fellas?
我是核能源安全员 对吧
I'm the nuclear safety guy, right?
应该是我的控制台滴滴乱响吧
Shouldn't my console have been doing all that beepy stuff?
其实... -那啥...
Yeah, um, uh... - Uh, you see...
大概可能现在只有我这边会滴滴响了
We kind of made it so that just my console does that now.
我们想给你减减负 兄弟
We just figured we'd lighten your load, buddy,
因为你已经很忙了
since you already do so much.
像篮球疯狂三月的篮筐那么忙
Like the March madness brackets.
而且你是敢想敢做的人 成功实施了热裤周三
And you're the go-getter who implemented Jean-short Wednesdays.
你们是说 我其实从没保护过任何人安全
Are you guys saying I've never kept anyone safe?
你当然有了侯默 只要啥都别干就对了
Oh, sure you have, Homer. Just... by not doing anything.
我的操控台甚至都没插上电
My console isn't even plugged in.
我打开了 里面都是清洁用品
I opened it, and it's full of cleaning supplies
还有没卖♥♥出去的伯恩斯先生大头公仔
and unsold Mr. Burns funkos.
我一直以为自己很重要
This whole time I thought I mattered,
可我根本不是 从来不是
but I don't and I never did.
你对我来说很重要
Well, you matter to me,
尤其当今天是周三晚上
especially since it's Wednesday night.
对哦 固定爱爱日
Oh. Right. Scheduled sex.
我来了哦
Okay, here we go...
等我一下 快点
Just give me a second here. Come on, just...
来了
Almost... Um...
亲亲呐
Uh, sweetie?
好像你的光剑不想亮起来
It seems like your light saber doesn't want to go "shwoom."
今晚早些时候你是不是自己来过了
Did you go "Han Solo" earlier tonight?
我真是到哪都没用
I guess I'm useless everywhere.
我明天直接躺平在床上
I'm just gonna stay in bed tomorrow
吮吸床头柜里的番茄酱小包装
and suck my nightstand ketchup packets.
其实吧 你得六点起来去当过路协管
Actually, you have to wake up at 6:00 to be a crossing guard.
你们觉得奥拓咋了
What do you guys think happened to Otto?
蹲牢房♥
Jail.
或许他只是太过疲惫于逃离黑暗
Maybe he just got tired of always running from the darkness.
老天爷 老爸在那儿
Oh, God, there's Dad.
拜托别让他给我们出丑
Please don't let him embarrass us.
哟哟哟 是时候给小分队过路保驾护航了
Well, well, time to help the baby brigade cross the road.
停
别啊
Oh, no.
我值得你们的尊重 小混♥蛋♥们
I deserve your respect, you little jerks.
停
蠢小孩 没有我 他们有生之年都会
Stupid kids. Without me, they'd be stuck
被困在街道一侧
on one side of the street for the rest of their lives.
哈哈 拿到了你八角形的标志
Haw-haw! Got your octagonal sign.
喂 快还给我
Hey, give me that!
我需要它告诉车辆该干嘛 停下
I need it to tell cars what to do. Stop!
不要 你停下
No, you stop.
讨厌
D'oh!
我是个过路人
I'm a streetwalker.
妈的 匿名会要迟到了
Oh, no. I'm late for my AA meeting.
丑陋奶奶折扣龙舌兰
你好哟 美人儿
Hey there, gorgeous.
停
我的一生刚从裤裆下一瞬即逝
My whole life just flashed through my pants.
赞爆了 侯默
Way to go, Homer!
你刚救了这个秃顶小无赖的命
You just saved this balding little scamp's life.
牛批啊侯默 -你成功了老爸
All right, Homer. - You did it, Dad!
媒体
不如拍张照上报纸吧 辛先生
How about one for the paper, Mr. S.
我救了某人的命 世界啊你可否听清
I saved someone's life. You hear that, world?
侯默·辛普森杠杠滴
Homer Simpson matters!
对哦 要不这样来一波
Oh, right. How about one of these?
今天最后两只地球上濒危的熊猫去世了
The last two endangered pandas on earth died today
动物园调查员声称这是可怕的谋杀后自杀案件
in what zoo investigators are calling a grisly murder-suicide.
巨型熊猫
公元前19000000年-公元后2023年
永别了熊猫 我们来世对面再见
Adios, pandas. We'll see you at the crossroads.
我们今晚的晚间恐怖播报
We wrap up tonight's nightly reading of horrors
将以一个全新的乐观主义部分结束 我称之为
with a new optimistic segment I like to call
新闻鸡汤
"Chicken Soup for the News."
小镇的过路协管
The small-town crossing guard.
一份大部分美国人都认为可敬又无聊的工作
A job most Americans consider as charming as it is pointless.
直到上周
Until last week,
素材提供:金宝·琼斯
本地英雄侯默·辛普森冒险
when local hero Homer Simpson risked his life
救下了一个长着南瓜头的小男孩
to save one pumpkin-headed little boy.
现如今 辛普森变成了某种人行道名人
And now, Simpson has become something of a curbside celebrity.
春田镇可以做些什么来表达对本地过路协管的
What can Springfield do to show its love and appreciation
辛普森一家
The Simpsons
剧集 | 辛普森一家 | 导航列表