辛普森一家
The Simpsons S30E08
Part 3
Feb. 1, 2020, 7:51 p.m.
Circus cheers are the greatest cheers in the world!
他在这 我们的新星
There he is, there's our new star.
刚才是我见过的最勇敢的表演
That was the most daring act I've ever seen.
我曾见过马戏团未经允许演奏披头士
And I saw a circus do a Beatles tribute without permission.
我可能爱上你了 无聊鬼
I think I'm falling for you, Soggy.
我觉得咱俩不合适
I don't think you're really my type.
你可真是
Mmm, you.
我的人生直到今天才开始
My whole life up till now was nothing.
从今往后 我叫无聊鬼
From this day forward, I am Soggy,
小丑无聊鬼
Soggy the Clown!
河马汁
无聊鬼
一个求死的小丑
很荣幸 小丁丁
I'm flattered, Tootso,
但我已经有约了
but I'm already seeing someone.
过半小时海豹水缸后见
I'll meet you behind the seal tank in half an hour.
好消息 你经纪人来电♥话♥
Good news. Your agent just called.
有个日本游戏节目需要一名美国明星
A Japanese game show needs an American celebrity
能从厕所跳出来惊吓情侣
to pop out of toilets to scare couples on dates.
警♥察♥不会发现你的
The cops will never find you.
两周前我会去
Two weeks ago, I would've jumped at that.
但我现在是马戏团小丑
But I'm a circus clown now.
但你是个一流的电视明星
But you're a big-time TV star.
在马戏团还不够糟吗
Ain't the circus worse by far?
我曾经沉迷名利
Oh, I used to love celebrity,
但如今马戏团让我看清了自己
but I've got big top clarity.
因为
Because...
*作马戏团小丑使我人生灿烂*
*Circus clowning - Is the life for me*
*让那些看电视的傻孩子趁早滚蛋*
*Gonna flip the bird to lousy kids' TV*
*马戏团里充斥着真情实感*
*Circus folk have real camaraderie*
*不必担心验尿后被开除刁难*
*I can't be fired 'cause they don't test my pee*
*他用激♥情♥打破沉闷*
*He'd be positive for every sedative*
*马戏团笑声最最好*
*Circus laughter, there's no greater high*
*观众因你可能会死掌声如潮*
*Crowd is fired up 'cause they might see you die*
*他把脖子摔断*
*If he breaks his neck*
*他们会把手掌拍烂*
*What a thrill they'll get*
*我的心理问题全被免费治疗*
*All my problems have been solved for free*
*跟熊聊天比医生更有效*
*Talking to the bear sure beats therapy*
*一个拥抱能令你不再恐惧女性*
*A hug can beat fear of women's feet*
*我十岁能进马戏团吗*
*Can I join the circus if I'm only ten?*
*有了假身份证你从此叫本吧*
*Here's a fake I.D., now your name is Ben*
*没有妈妈的唠叨*
*Ain't no mom to keep me safe and sound*
*我随意耍剑*
*I get to juggle swords*
*掉地上的玉米热狗吃个饱*
*Eat corn dogs off the ground*
*电视大摆脱*
*So, good riddance to TV*
*我重获新生 不在乎评分
*I feel alive instead of live-plus-three*
*马戏团小丑就是为我*
*Because circus clowning is the life*
*量身定做*
*for Me.*
坏消息 我们要关掉马戏团
Bad news. We're shutting down the circus.
关掉 为什么
Shutting it down? But why?
-有不好的录像带流出 -哪一盘
-A terrible video got out. -Which one?
我们在马戏团卖♥♥的那盘
The video we sell here at the circus.
马戏团叮铃兄弟
充满乐趣的世界
如果马戏团被关停 我该逃向哪
If they close this place down, what do I run away to?
大学吗
College?
都结束了
It's all over.
我失去了唯一乐趣 除了喝醉
I'm losing the only happiness I didn't have to chug,
吸毒 开枪 打赌 勃起
snort, shoot, bet on, or get enlarged.
我第一次成为了真正的小丑
For the first time, I was a real clown.
但现在我已不是
And now I've lost that.
为了立竿见影拯救我的婚姻
To save my marriage, effective immediately,
我不做概评人了
I'm resigning as recapper.
谨此向文化粉碎公♥司♥和
My apologies to Culture Smash
垃圾爆♥炸♥媒体全部成员致歉
and the entire Garbage Blast media family.
语♥音♥转文字输入
发送
上车
Get in.
好
Okay.
谷歌♥迪士尼
诺斯罗普古德曼公♥司♥
侯默 我是主流媒体企业的总裁
Homer, I'm the CEO of a major media conglomerate.
你不能辞职
We can't have you quit.
你是全美最好的剧评人
You're one of America's top recappers.
我必须辞职 剧评毁了我的婚姻
I had to quit; recapping was ruining my marriage.
有太多节目了 我追不完
There were so many shows, I couldn't keep up.
是的 目前有超过五百部改编剧活跃在
It's true. Currently there are over 500 scripted shows
网络 电视 和媒体上
on network, cable, and streaming.
你为什么要拍这么多剧
Why are you making so many shows?
没人能看过超三百个
No one could watch more than 300 of them.
我们不在乎人们看不看
Oh, we don't care if people watch.
我们在乎的是他们每月订阅
We just care if they subscribe
花的十三美金
for $13 a month.
瞧 如果人们只订阅而不观看
You see, if people subscribe but don't watch,
那我们就不用真的去制♥作♥节目
then we don't actually have to make the shows.
我们只用观看者相信他们能观看节目就行了
We just need viewers to believe they can watch them.
假节目
Fake shows?
但万一有人想看呢
But what if people try to see them?
他们不会的 因为像你这样的节目简介员
They won't, because recappers like you
会给那些剧集打B-分
will give those shows a B-minus.
没有人会看评分只有B-的节目
No one ever watches a B-minus.
但 但这是不可能的
But, but that's crazy.
这样行不通的
It could never work.
事实已经如此了
It already has.
你知道美国广播网吗
Are you familiar with the USA Network?
当然 《欲海医心》《金装律师》《妙警贼探》
Sure. Royal Pains, Suits, White Collar.
你看过这些剧吗
Have you ever seen any of those shows?
没有 但一定有人...
No, but somebody must have...
肯定有人...
Surely somebody...
美国广播网根本不存在
There is no USA Network.
20年来从没有过
There hasn't been for 20 years.
一直只有巴士广♥告♥而已
It's just bus ads!
《欲海医心》
每周二晚九点 美国广播网
我的天
Oh, my God.
电视的黄金时代是个谎言
Peak TV is a lie.
你的计划简直疯了
Your plan is insane.
也许吧
Perhaps.
但没有制♥作♥
But not as insane as making...
这么多节目疯狂
that... many... shows.
我从不信上帝或家庭
I never had faith in God or family,
但我对电视是有信仰的
but I had faith in television.
我不会让你这样对待它的
And I won't let you do this to Him.
我把你说的话全都录下来了
I have everything you said recapped right here.
我准备把你计划的每个细节
And I'm gonna tell the whole world
都公开于世
every detail of your terrible plan.
休息室还剩半个生日蛋糕
Hey, there's half a birthday cake in the break room.
你介意我...
Mind if I...?
好了 知道了 知道了
All right, I get it, I get it.
不 不 你不能关闭马戏团
No, no, you can't close the circus.
肯定有办法让这里继续经营下去的
There's got to be a way to keep this place running.
如果我们有五万块 就能换个新名字
If we only had 50 grand, we could start over
重新开始新的篇章了
with a new name and a new act.
对 我们就能买♥♥下柠檬飞鲈鱼马戏团
Yeah. We can get the Flying Branzinos.
没人会像那些人一样趁人多偷东西了
Nobody pickpockets a crowd like those guys.
但我们没有五万块
But we don't have the 50 grand.
马戏团完蛋了
The circus is done.
不 不 听着
No, no, listen.
我能给你们弄到钱
I can get you your money.
用这个
With this.
悬赏通缉令
企图谋杀罪犯
小丑阿壳
悬赏金 五万
你要教我们认字吗
You're gonna teach us to read?
不是 我就是阿壳
No. I'm Krusty.
悬赏通缉令
企图谋杀罪犯
小丑阿壳
悬赏金 五万
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