辛普森一家
The Simpsons S30E14
Part 2
Feb. 1, 2020, 7:52 p.m.
我们怎么停了
Why are we stopping?
大巴车已经漏了一路油了
Oh, the bus has been leaking oil for miles.
你回头看看
Look behind us.
那些点点是真实存在的吗
Those things were literal?
导演
《太空沙》第一天 第一镜 第一条
The Sands of Space, day one, shot one, take one.
好的...开始
And... action!
这么荒芜 这么陌生
So barren, so alien,
但又让我感到些许的亲切
yet somehow... familiar.
等等 这是什么垃圾
Hey, what the hell is this?
卡 卡掉
Cut. Cut it!
这些沙子怎么是沙子色的 应该是红的啊
This sand is sand-colored. It's supposed to be red.
那怎么了 不都是沙子吗
So what? Sand is sand.
你看书了吗
Did you even read the book?
这些血色沙丘是铁锈之战后人类文明留存下来
These blood dunes are all that's left of humanity
唯一的东西了
after the Rust Wars.
有什么可看的 不久太空那点破事
What's to read? It's a space picture.
什么发射激光的车 长着章鱼触手的姑娘
Laser cars, girls with octopus arms,
这个那个那个这个的 都是些废话
zip zap glip glorp, and it's in the can.
听着 你这个满脸褶子的傻子什么都不懂
Look, you no-talent bag of wrinkles.
我管他们从托卢卡湖还是酒缸里把你捞出来的
Go back to whatever Toluca Lake drunk tank
你可以滚回去了
they fished you out of,
因为你不能再出现在任何与我电影相关的场合
because you're not getting anywhere near my movie!
先生 我在电影画面还不会动的时候
Sir, I've worked in moving pictures
就开始拍电影了
since they were called "Stillies."
我曾用90分钟就拍完了一部两个小时的片子
I once shot a two-hour picture in 90 minutes.
所以我跟你讲 用丽莲·吉许小姐的话说
And so I say to you, in the words of Miss Lillian Gish,
吃屎去吧
go crap in your hat.
现在如果你能恕我失陪的话
And now, if you'll excuse me,
我要去神秘地投海自尽了
I am going to mysteriously drown in the ocean.
就像你们听到的那样 我与那个傻♥逼♥导演
As you may have heard, there's been an amicable parting of ways
产生了一些小小的摩擦 让我们祝他好运
with that moron director. We wish him well.
显而易见现在只有一个人有资格来做导演
Clearly, there's only one artist close enough to this film
那就是我
to direct it: me.
我知道你们在想 我是不是承担了太多责任
I know what you're thinking-- have I taken on too much
既要出演又要导演
by starring and directing a movie
甚至还被骗来出钱赞助这部电影
that I was also tricked into cofinancing?
然而不是的 一定要有人讲出这个故事
No, because this story must be told.
这好酷啊
This is so exciting.
阿壳充满了能把这部电影拍好的热情与眼界
Krusty's got the passion and vision to make this movie great.
我根本不知道怎么拍电影啊
I have no idea how to make a movie.
我什么都不知道
I know nothing.
这些人全上了贼船了
All these people are screwed.
摄制组成员礼物也只有一件T恤
And the crew gift is just a T-shirt.
好 好 明白了
Right, right. I, I get it.
所有演员都是这样
In the tradition of every actor ever,
-觉得自己能做导演 -导演看上去很简单
- you thought you could direct. - Directing seemed so easy.
只需要用手摆出这个造型 然后一顿操作
You just hold your hands like this, then bing, bang, boom,
安妮·莱柏维兹就开始拍
Annie Leibovitz is taking your portrait
你在浴缸里泡牛奶浴的照片了
in a bathtub full of milk.
不过说到压力
Yeah, talk about pressure, though.
我记得有次我在坦帕的笑声地下室
Man, I remember once I was filming a special
录特别节目时
at the Laugh Basement in Tampa...
现在主角不是你
This isn't about you.
美元门把手俱乐部已经有你的广♥告♥了
You got your ad in for Dollar Doorknob Club.
现在听我说
Now, let me talk.
他们说在好莱坞"大家都一无所知"
They say in Hollywood, "Nobody knows anything."
我懂得比那还少得多
Well, I knew a lot less than that.
你觉得哪个公主头饰好
What do you like for the princess's headpiece,
羽毛的还是鳞片的
feathers or scales?
不知道 鳞片的吧
I don't know, how about scales?
所有服装预算都要投进去了
Oh, well, there goes the whole costume budget.
午间员工餐
Uh, for the crew lunch,
摄影师想吃煮热狗
the grips want their hot dogs boiled,
但是灯光师想吃烤的
but the gaffers want them grilled.
不管哪种 我都没有热狗 所以做哪种
Either way, I don't got no hot dogs, so, uh, which is it?
你觉得飞船门开启时应该发出那种声音
Do you want the space ship doors to open like,
"滋滋滋" "噗嗤" 还是"哇哇"
"Zzztt-zzztt," "Ppswishh" Or "Wahh-wahh"?
贾德·尼尔森不愿出拖车
Judd Nelson won't come out of his trailer.
克里斯汀·史莱特不愿意回拖车
Christian Slater won't go back into his trailer.
你的咖啡要加多少糖
How many sugars do you want in your coffee?
别再问我问题了
Stop asking me things!
这是正式休息 还是小休息五分钟
Is this an official break, or are we taking a five?
那个可怜的小丑男
Hmm, that poor clown man.
这部电影是他的梦 现在这个梦支离破碎了
This movie is his dream, and it's falling apart.
这就是墨西哥演艺圈现状了
Yeah, that's Mexico showbiz for you.
这部电影没有一个东西是真的
Oh, is nothing on this movie real?
你没事吧
Um, are you okay?
没事
Okay?
我是个彻头彻尾的骗子 连个决定都做不了
I'm a total fraud who can't make a single decision.
或许你应该从小决定做起
Well, maybe you just need to start with a small one.
比如 宇宙怪兽的血是什么颜色的
Like, what color should the space monster's blood be,
橘色还是绿色
orange or green?
都有 都不是 我不知道
Both. Neither. I don't know!
闭上眼 深呼吸
Just close your eyes, breathe deeply,
想象怪兽的血 是什么颜色的
and envision the blood. What color is it?
橘色
Orange.
这不好了吗 你做出决定了
There you go. You decided.
当然 橘色 我就知道我是个天才
Of course, orange! I knew I was a genius!
我做到了 我导演了一部电影
I did it! I directed a movie!
这只是一个决定
Well, it's just one decision.
我什么都不是 一个冒牌货
Oh, I'm a nothing. A phony-baloney.
一个庸才 毫无价值的人
A no-talent. A zilch.
我有幸为演艺圈唯一没有安全感的人工作
Just my luck to work for the only insecure person in showbiz.
你赌上了一切 你一定要讲出这个故事
You risked everything you have to tell this story.
一定很特别
It must be special.
或许在你的帮助下我能做到
Maybe I can do this with your help.
你愿意做我的导演助理吗
How would you like to be assistant to the director?
真的吗
Really?
我需要你帮我做决定
I need you to help me be decisive.
不 等等 我不想这样
No, wait, I don't want that!
天哪 选什么好
Oh, God, which one?
-第一个 第一个 -你被雇了
- The first, the first. - You're hired.
再加点炸♥药♥
Add more dynamite.
这些爆♥炸♥物跟临时演员挨得太近了
Uh, those explosives are really close to those extras.
所以呢 临演多得是
So? We got plenty of them.
所以他们的名字也有"多余"之意 对吗
That's why they're called "extras," right?
你让那只熏鲑鱼去上表演学校
You tell that lox to go to acting school
在那当个看门的
and work there as a janitor.
阿壳觉得你干得不错
Krusty loves what you're doing.
同样的能量 再快一点
Same energy, little quicker.
让他滚
Tell him to sod off.
他说 "没问题 朋友"
He says, "You got it, baby."
压力山大 整部电影都在此一举了
It's so much pressure. The whole movie depends on it.
讲故事重点
Tell the story that needs to be told.
这个屁♥股♥替身是动作戏的
That butt double for the action scene,
这个屁♥股♥替身是爱情戏的 来创作艺术吧
that butt double for the love scene. Let's make art!
抱歉我迟到了
Sorry I'm late,
但阿壳和我在给明天的镜头做分镜脚本
but Krusty and I were storyboarding tomorrow's shots.
特写 中镜头 长镜头 长镜头
Close-up, medium, long, long,
定场镜头 特写
establishing, close,
第一视角镜头 然后来个 中镜头
POV, wide, and then-- get this-- medium.
你跟那个导演忙成这样 我都看不着你了
You've been so busy with that director, I never see you.
阿壳需要我 他压力很大
Krusty needs me. He's under so much pressure.
你不会相信他哈了多少导演"草"
You wouldn't believe how much directing dust he's sniffing.
所有人都很辛苦
Everyone's working hard.
为了倒叙我们只能把所有背景板都刷成黑白的
We had to repaint all the sets black and white for a flashback.
没有整个团队的力量
We wouldn't have been able to do it
我们根本不可能做到
if not for all the crew powder.
当片尾出现了演职人员表
Well, it'll all be worth it
响起了皮波·布莱森唱的片尾曲时
辛普森一家
The Simpsons
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