辛普森一家
The Simpsons S30E17
Part 2
Feb. 1, 2020, 7:53 p.m.
停停停 听我说
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You know what, kids?
我有个来之不易的宝贵建议
I'm gonna blow your minds
保证吓你们一跳
with a little bit of hard-earned advice:
在还领先的时候及时收手
Quit while you're ahead.
我们不能停下 还有其他那么多锦标赛
We can't quit. There's so many more tournaments.
你只是赢了一场游戏锦标赛
You won one video game tournament.
这又不像棒球或者政♥治♥
This isn't like baseball or politics
你能从里面真正赚大钱
where you can make real money.
你们的童年只有一次 好好享受
You only have one childhood, kids. Enjoy it.
行吧 但是因为拿了第一
Okay, but because we came in first
我们能去参加另一个锦标赛 赢五十万刀呢
we qualified for a tournament where we could win $500,000.
快乐童年结束了 该工作了
Childhood's over. It's time for work.
如何培养虎子
厄尔·伍兹
你看到了 小宝贝
That's right, sweetie.
我要把你哥哥培养成冠军
I'm going to make your brother a champion.
别玩球拍了
Knock off that racket!
你要反对老妈
You're gonna defy Mom?
坐到膝盖上来 儿子
Sit on my knee, boy.
我已经长大了
I think I'm too old.
长得再大 爹地的膝盖都永远欢迎你
You're never too old to sit on Daddy's knee.
我的老腿 快下去 快下去
Ow, my knee! Get off! Get off!
儿子 给你上一堂人生课
Son, here's a life lesson:
不要直接告诉妈妈那些不好的事
I don't directly tell your mother anything bad.
而是偷偷地让她参与到那些她反对的事情里去
I secretly make her a part of everything she's against.
这就是为什么我把你的奖金都花在她身上了
That's why I spent your winnings on her.
亲爱的 有个礼物给你
Honey, I got you a present.
意式浓缩粉饼咖啡机
An espresso pod machine,
就像我在席医生家里嘲笑过的那台一样
like the one I made fun of at the Hibberts'.
那是因为你自己想要 请允许我为你磨一杯
Because you wanted it yourself. Let me pod you, my dear.
今天是什么特殊日子吗
Ooh! What's the occasion?
特殊在我终于意识到自己
The occasion is that I haven't been
一直都不是一个尽职的父亲
as good of a father as I should.
是啊 也不是
Yes. Well, no, uh...
别争辩 是真的
Don't argue. It's true.
我需要更多地参与巴仔的生活
I need to get more involved in Bart's life,
所以我决定当他的教练
so I've decided to be his coach.
那太好了 什么的教练
That's wonderful. Coaching what?
还没决定好
Oh, I haven't landed on it yet.
橄榄球 国际象棋 甚至可笑的电子游戏
Football, chess, maybe even a silly video game.
都不重要 喝点咖啡吧
It doesn't matter. Have some coffee.
我就喜欢它没有倒满的样子
I love how it doesn't fill the cup.
非常欧洲
Very European. Mmm.
-是电子游戏 -什么
-It's a video game. -What?
你们父子俩能借此机会好好相处 也不坏
I guess if you're spending time together, what's the harm?
看谁才是爸爸 还是得老爸出马
Look who's a dad. Look who's a dad.
我就知道你不会介意的
I knew you'd be cool with it.
我还雇了一个电子竞技专家来指导巴仔
Also, I hired a video game expert to tutor Bart.
他的名字叫爆裂雷♥管♥
His name is The Detonator.
"恕我一概不进行除游戏之外的任何对话"
"I can't make conversation unless it's about gaming."
你想进屋吗
Do you want to come in?
你想去他们玩游戏的那个房♥间吗
Do you want to go where they're playing the game?
谢谢你 女士
Thank you, ma'am.
侯默 我看巴仔玩过很多次了
Homer, I've watched Bart play--
不仅在这里 在游戏直播间
here, on his Twitch feed,
还在健身房♥ 快易取 吉布轨 巴祖巴
and his HitForm, InstaBox, Gibtrack, Buzuba,
以及"出拳暴击"主播平台
and YergaPunch streams.
我只知道吉布轨
Hmm, the only word I recognized was Gibtrack.
我认为巴仔有实力成为前十
I think Bart has what it takes to be top ten.
-前十玩家 全国 -更广
-Players? In the country? -Bigger.
-全银河系 -没那么大
-The galaxy? -Smaller.
-全世界 -对
-World? -Yes.
孩子们 确保自己的椅子能转起来
Kids, make sure you're in a chair that spins.
本爆裂雷♥管♥爷要给你们上一课
You're all gonna get a lesson from The Detonator.
先开一局
Let's jump into a battle.
首先 巴仔和内尔森 你们在前排
To start, Bart and Nelson, we'll put you up front,
苏菲和苗浩斯在后排支援
and we'll back you up with Sophie and Milhouse.
哇呼
Booyah!
注意 我的手指在点鼠标的时候
Notice my finger is clicking the mouse with a light,
有一个微小快速的抽搐
quick stroke to
可以减轻关节疲劳和及时纠错
limit joint fatigue and tracking error.
假装鼠标很烫
I'm clicking like the mouse button is hot.
但也不要太烫
Not too hot;
就像烤完半熟百吉饼之后的吐司机
like the top of a toaster after an underdone bagel.
现在我在这两个地方都快速点击
Okay, now I'm using that quick mouse stroke here and here,
也就是说 巴仔 你应该扔下钻石地雷
which is how, Bart, you should drop diamonite mines
包围他们的重生点
to surround their spawn points.
苗浩斯 你一定要待命
Milhouse, make sure you're in position
反击敌人进攻
to respond to enemy aggression.
索菲 他们要进攻 去交战[有订婚意]
Sophie, when they make their move, go in and engage.
我老爸订婚了20次 我知道怎么做
My dad's been engaged 20 times. I know what to do.
好 现在我们进入游戏中场
Okay, now we're entering the mid-game,
这需要我们全神贯注于主要目标
where it's important to keep focusing on major objectives
并且控制地图开拓权
and control the map.
好了侯默 你盯着屏幕 我去嘘
Okay, Homer, you watch the screen while I take a quick A.P.
嘘是什么
What's an A.P.?
就是嘘嘘在游戏中的缩写
It's a gamer abbreviation for "A pee."
呆子行话 节约了好多时间哟
Nerd lingo. Saves so much time.
好了 我走过厨房♥
All right, I'm walking through the kitchen,
看到一位蓝发女人在喂孩子
blue-haired woman is feeding a baby.
我在进行眼神交流
I'm making eye contact.
你的鞋上有鞋带孔但没有鞋带
Your shoes have lace holes but no laces.
地毯 地毯
Linoleum, linoleum.
奔入厕所 准备进入释放模式
Strafing into the bathroom, gonna go into defuel mode.
用鞋抬起坐便器
Lifting seat with shoe.
从皮带上掏出来节约时间
Going over the belt saves time.
抖抖 冲冲 洗手是浪费时间
Shaking, flushing and hand washing are the real time killers.
皮带节约时间
一旦我省去这些步骤 我的休息时间大缩水
Once I cut those out, my lag time went way down.
好了 这些水族魔法师背后都有燃料缸
Okay, these Water Mages have fuel tanks on their backs,
所以你不能用标准咒语攻击
so you can't hit them with standard spells,
但如果我有了能抛熔岩球的装备
but if I equip this staff that lets me cast lava quadballs...
我错过了时机 我错过了 他们把我杀了
I mistimed it. Oh, God, I mistimed. They killed me.
你介不介意我在你的尸体上跳舞
Do you mind if I dance over your corpse?
你要是不跳舞我会很生气
I'd be mad if you didn't.
-我完蛋了 -为什么
- It's over for me. - Why?
我刚刚失去了优势 就是此时此地
I just lost my gaming edge. Right there, just now.
身处圈内这么多年 如今我出圈了
Been in the zone for years, and now I'm not.
光辉岁月 往事不在
Time in a bottle, man, time in a bottle.
可你正要把我的队伍打造成赢家呢
But you were gonna mold my team into winners,
我还要靠他们过活呢
and I was gonna live through them.
昨天 我19岁了
Just yesterday, I turned 19.
已经比这一行大多数人活得久了
Made it longer than most in this crazy biz.
不过我要去给我叔叔打工 他有一家瓷砖店
Anyway, I'm gonna go work for my uncle. He owns a tile store.
我会有一个美好人生的 够好了
It'll be a good life. Good enough.
老了真可怕
Sucks to be old.
我没在我爷爷的葬礼上哭泣
I didn't cry at my grandpa's funeral,
主要是因为他种族歧视 但我现在在哭
mostly because he was racist, but I'm crying now.
100个只有我知道的游戏连招
他尽力了 现在就看我的了
He taught us all he could. Now it's up to me.
-我们有没有队服 -不 没有
- Do we get uniforms? - No. No uniforms.
你们是一帮没赞助的穷鬼
You're a ragtag bunch without any sponsors
但是所有人都会全力支持你们
that'll have everyone rooting for you.
你们是否已经准备好将这件你们喜爱的事情
Are you kids ready to turn this thing you like
变成会霸占醒来后的每分每秒的事情
into something that will consume every waking minute?
-也许是吧 -音乐走起
- Maybe! - Hit the music!
孩儿们 你们得练上一万小时才能变优秀
Kids, you need to practice 10,000 hours to get great.
你确定吗
Are you sure?
马尔科姆·格拉德威尔花了这么多时间想明白
It's how long Malcolm Gladwell needed to think it up.
*巴仔是冠军*
*Bart is a champion*
*于是我也是冠军*
*Which makes me a champion*
-*我是冠军* -侯默
- *I am the champion of the...* - Homer.
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The Simpsons
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