辛普森一家
The Simpsons S30E03
Part 2
Feb. 1, 2020, 7:51 p.m.
我是在说电力 机灵鬼
I mean electrocution, smart guy.
你一直在卖♥♥的那些玩具
Those little angel makers you've been slingin'
每弹一下都能产生静电
generate static electricity with every bounce.
弹簧床的垫子是由生日气球的橡胶和猫毛做的
The mats are made of birthday balloon rubber and cat hair.
跳满500下 孩子就会被炸成法式薯条
If you get to 500 bounces, zappo! French-fried kid.
我让无辜的生命置身危险
I've put innocent lives in danger.
我的销♥售♥宣传使劲暗示绝无风险
And my sales pitch strongly implied that wouldn't happen.
世道就是这样
Eh, that's the game we're in.
若你不喜欢死亡 那就别碰儿童玩具业
If you don't like death, get out of children's toys.
《春田购物报》
辛普森家儿子发誓打破500次蹦床纪录
我得去阻止他
I've got to stop him!
401次 402次
401... 402...
我早就知道他很会蹦
Wow! I knew he could bounce,
但我竟不知他还能数数
but I had no idea he could count.
412次 413次
412... 413...
刹车踩不下去了
Oh, the brake pedal won't go down!
为什么我要买♥♥这些超长毛绒脚垫啊
Why did I get these super shag floor mats? Why?!
内德·弗兰德斯 助您飞翔
495次
495...
496次
496...
达夫世界纪录
497次 498次
497... 498...
499次
499...
《幕府将军》
-耶稣 -你好
-Jesus. -'Sup?
主啊 我为什么在这里
Lord? Why am I here?
内德·弗兰德斯 你曾是个罪人
Uh, Ned Flanders, you have been a sinner,
但你已开始踏上赎罪之路
but you have taken the first step on the road to redemption,
如果你听从主 也就是我的话
and if you accept the word of the Lord-- that's me--
我就让你回地球传达我关于希望的话
I shall return you to Earth to carry forth my word of hope.
比如
And, uh, like that.
吉米·亨德里克斯来教你吉他
Jimi Hendrix is here for your guitar lesson.
嘿 你有按我教的好好练习吗
Hey, man. You been practicing what I told you?
我本来是想的
Uh, yeah, uh, I meant to,
但我的拨片掉进洞里了
but, uh, I lost the pick in the hole.
-吉他的洞 -我倒希望是
-Of the guitar? -Oh. I wish.
我不在乎 不管如何都得付吉米钱
I don't care, baby. Jimi gets paid either way.
灵魂摇滚
赞美上帝 我重生了
Praise the Lord, I am reborn!
奇迹 在没有救助的情况下他恢复了
It's a miracle! He recovered without help!
马后炮一下 我该试试心肺复苏
In retrospect, I should have tried CPR.
我是个信徒了
Well, I'm a believer.
来啊朋友们 我们去传播好消息吧
Come on, fellas, let's go spread the good word.
重症监护室
上帝存在
God is alive!
有谁需要吸尘器吗
Anyone need a vacuum?
神给了我第二次机会
God gave me a second chance,
作为祂恩赐的记号♥ 祂在我漂亮的人中上
and as a sign of his mercy, he permanently scarred
留下了永久的疤
my beautiful, beautiful philtrum.
我决定戴着这个胡子直到化为灰烬
And that's why I'm wearing this mustache till I'm just ash.
神在我躯体上留下印记
It wasn't till God seriously deformed me
我才真正理解了祂的爱
that I fully understood his love.
内德·弗兰德斯可以上天堂
So, Ned Flanders gets into Heaven.
我倒想看看他要选哪个老婆
It'll be interesting to see which wife he goes with.
随便选哪个 都会有一段艰难的时光
Eh, either way, it'll be tough sledding.
主啊 如果你想要更多人上天堂
Well you know Lord, if you want more people here,
你还没考虑过这一类人呢
there's a category you're not considering.
那些声称自己的狗是治疗宠物
People who bring their dogs on planes
然后把狗带上飞机的人吗
and say they're therapy pets?
我可是听见了
I can hear you.
很高兴终于见到你
Oh, and nice to meet you, finally.
你按照你的形象创造了我
So, you made me in your image.
就像看着一面镜子一样
Well, it's like looking in a mirror.
-才不像 -那是谁干的
-Not! -Who did that?
-不是我 -你这个叛徒
-It wasn't me. -Oh, you traitor!
其实我在说那些人
Actually, I'm talking about people
他们虽不信神却仍是正直的
who don't believe in God but are still righteous.
我说的是无神论者 主
I'm talking about atheists, Lord.
无神论者
Atheists?
我拒绝承认他们的存在
I refuse to believe they exist.
他们真的存在 也许他们也该上天堂呢
Well, they do. Maybe they deserve a place here, too.
我想谈谈一位本该在天堂的人
I'd like to talk about someone who should be in Heaven:
我的祖母
my grandmother.
我的祖母36岁 她有8个孙子
My grandmother's 36, and she's got eight grandchildren.
强壮的女人
Strong woman.
我的祖母是个无神论者
My grandmother was an atheist.
那我先把这个翻过来
I'll just flip this.
她的名字叫做吉纳维芙
Her name was Genevieve.
法国维琪
她在二战中最黑暗的那段时期
She lived in occupied France
生活在被占领的法国
in the darkest days of World War Two.
因此她再也不相信上帝了
And she no longer believed in God.
*他活在来世 惩罚恶人*
*He's in the afterlife, punishing heavily*
*他是约翰福音3:16中酷炫的基♥督♥徒之神*
*He's the boogie woogie Christian God of John 3:16*
*噜噜啦啦 只要你不偷食禁果*
*A root, a toot, just don't eat his fruit*
*他出生在马厩里*
*He was born in a barn*
*他为宗教狂*
*He loved religion*
怎么会有神允许这么可怕的战争发生呢
How could a god allow this awful war to happen?
我阻止了可能比这更可怕的几千场战争
I stopped a thousand wars that would've been worse.
但从来没人提过
Nobody ever talks about that.
或许她的忧愁来自于
Perhaps her mélancolie came from her marriage
她与村子里臭名昭著的纳粹合作者的婚姻
to the village's most notorious Nazi collaborator.
您好 您好呀司令
Bonjour, bonjour, Commandant!
恕我无礼 您就是"遵命"里的那个"尊"
And may I say, you put the "Ja" In "Jawohl!"
我亲爱的妻子 我只是在这里通个小敌
Ah, my dear wife. I'm just here collaborating,
顺便叛个小国
mixing in a little treason.
你懂的 就是如果我们打输了
You know, stuff that'll look really bad
会在纪录片里被人怼成筛子的那种事
in a documentary if we lose.
现在生意日渐繁荣 你不能再拒绝
Now, with business booming, you can no longer deny your husband
让你的丈夫品尝婚姻的甜蜜了
the sweet fruits of marriage.
你钓到我了
I'm hooked.
闭上眼睛亲吻永远不会出错 永远不会
Kissing with your eyes closed never goes awry. Ever.
我为什么要嫁给镇上石像鬼的原型啊
Why did I marry the model for the town gargoyle?
安静
Quiet.
谁在那 是谁 是谁
Qui est là? Qui! Qui!
我们是美国伞兵部队
We're U.S. Paratroops.
我们假扮成法国农民
We've been roaming the countryside
穿梭于乡间战斗
disguised as French farmers.
你们得马上离开 我丈夫是个合作者
You must leave now. My husband is a collaborator.
正好我有部电影
Well, I've got a screenplay
想找个人一起合作写剧本
I've been looking for someone to help me write.
此合作者非彼合作者
Not that kind.
只要他能在纸上写上字 那就是很大成就了
If he just gets something on the page, that's progress.
德国佬
Germans.
我们完了 比三十二强赛里的小熊队还惨
We're cooked. Worse than the Cubs in the '32 Series.
我不太关注体育 有什么艺术类的比喻吗
I'm not a sports guy. Do you have an art metaphor?
我们会被解构的比毕加索的裸女还碎
We'll be chopped up worse than a Picasso nude!
现在我能明白事态之紧急了
Now my alarm is palpable!
你要怎么做 帮助我们还是告发我们
What are you gonna do, help us or turn us in?
因为我不相信天上有上帝
Because I don't believe there is a God above,
我们必须在地上创造自己的天堂
we must make our own Heaven down below.
快点吧
Hurry now!
-我们有小费赚吗 -在欧洲没有
- Do we get tips? - Not in Europe.
该死 现在我明白为什么打仗了
Damn it. Now I know what we're fighting for.
什么
Quoi?!
诶呀呀 晚餐准备好了
Ooh-la-la! Dinner is served.
这什么奇怪的口音
What an odd accent.
你真的是法国人吗
Are you really French?
真是有味道的顾客们
Stinking customers!
你不能问我私人问题
You can't ask me personal questions.
你还真是法国人
Ah, you are French.
美国傻子 他们一下就能看穿你
American fool. They'll see right through you.
世界一流的晚餐服务
You don't know the first thing
辛普森一家
The Simpsons
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