辛普森一家

The Simpsons S30E22

Part 2 Feb. 1, 2020, 7:54 p.m.

嫌犯
侯默的酒吧账单已经增长得无法控制
Homer's bar tab was spiraling out of control.
五六百刀
Five, six hundred bucks.
那晚老谋子不让他喝了
That night, Moe cut him off.
场景再现
*我很抱歉*
*I'm sorry*
我们的理论是侯默回到家醉醺醺他摔倒
Yeah, our theory was that Homer came home wasted, he fell,
他手舞足蹈然后找到水槽下的钱
he shimmied and he found the money under the sink there,
琢磨着可以用这些付清账单
and he figured he'd just use it to pay his tab.
毋庸置疑侯默在上♥床♥睡觉前
Well it's indisputable that Homer visited the kitchen
去过厨房♥
before going to bed.
我们发现意面酱汁到处都是
You see, we found spaghetti sauce splatter
还有凶残的夜宵点心混在里面
consistent with a very violent late-night snack.
这这不是一个"耗"兆头
This is, ah, this is not a flayvin situation.
尽管如此我还是被迫要说"耗"
Although, I still am compelled to say flayvin.
酱汁溅在了墙上天花板上
Sauce on the walls, the ceiling,
侯默指甲盖下边
under Homer's fingernails.
那碗意面可是殊死一搏了
That pasta fought hard for its life.
那个男人对残羹剩饭所做的一切
What that man did to those leftovers...
对不起我没法继续
I'm sorry, I-I can't continue.
但如果厨房♥那晚变成了浸在番茄酱里的屠宰场
But if the kitchen had been a tomato-soaked abattoir that night,
为什么早上谁都没发现
why had no one noticed in the morning?
无敌清洁剂
他把钱塞满口袋后
He cleaned up the kitchen after stuffing
把厨房♥打扫干净了
all the money into his pockets,
所以我们必须拿到那条裤子
so we just had to get those pants.
幸运的是一个小线索巧妙完成了任务
Fortunately, a simple sting did the trick.
超级碗观摩派对
免费自助餐
入场费: 一条裤子
七月的超级碗
Ooh, Super Bowl in July!
警方犯罪实验室
裤子里没有钱
No money in these pants.
只有涂了糖的花生爆米花和小赠品
All we find is candy-coated peanuts, popcorn and a prize.
那是克拉克·杰克零食干的好事
Now, that's some Cracker Jack detective work.
懂吗克拉克·杰克
Get it? Cracker Jack?
是的是的
Yeah. Yeah.
至于证据我们什么都没找到
But as for evidence, we, uh, we got nothing.
侯默依然是头号♥嫌疑犯
With Homer still the prime suspect,
调查被拖延了
and the investigation stalled,
春田镇处于可怕的困境
Springfield was in dire straits.
节目迫切需要一个扣人心弦的商业广♥告♥插入
The show desperately needed a cliffhanger commercial break.
春田镇警♥察♥局
如果真正的犯罪大♥师♥
What if the real criminal mastermind
是百万富翁蒙哥马利·伯恩斯呢
was billionaire Montgomery Burns?
我♥干♥嘛偷六百美刀
Why would I steal $600?
那对我来说一文不值
That's nothing to me.
这就叫有钱史密瑟斯再拿点钱
This is what rich is. Smithers, bring me some more money.
还要再让人信服点吗
Need more convincing?
不用了我们马上回来
No. We'll be right back.
警方把视线转回了第一个嫌疑人
Police return to their first theory,
犯人有可能是侯默·辛普森吗
could Homer Simpson have done it?
某不知名酒保
绝对是他
Oh, definitely. Hey, you're gonna distort
你们会给我变声的对吗
my voice for this, right?
我不想任何人知道
'Cause I don't want no one knowing
我是老谋子·锡丝拉克
that this is Moe Szyslak here.
把名字这段也剪掉
Oh, and cut the name, too, yeah?
如老谋子·锡丝拉克所言侯默有很大嫌疑
As Moe Szyslak said, Homer was definitely a suspect.
显然局长想抓侯默[也有喜欢之意]
It was pretty clear, Chief liked Homer Simpson for this case.
老天爷阿卢我对他不是那种喜欢
Well, geez, Lou, I wouldn't say that I liked-liked him.
只是怎么他提到我了吗
I just, uh-- why, did he say something about me?
我是说你觉得他是嫌疑人[也有兴趣之意]
I mean you thought he was a person of interest.
快闭嘴其他人也有趣啊
Shut up. I can find someone interest-ing
我也不会对他们感兴趣快住嘴啦
without being interest-ed in them. Shut up.
最新发现的证据显示
Yeah, but then new evidence came in
侯默显然是无罪的
that apparently cleared Homer.
电♥话♥记录显示案发当晚
Phone records showed a six-hour call from Homer's phone
侯默跟某第三人打了六个小时的电♥话♥
to a third party on the night of the crime.
DNA检测证明那是一次屁♥股♥口袋拨号♥
The DNA revealed that it was a butt dial.
而且还不是快捷拨号♥
Yeah, and not just to someone on his speed dial list.
他灵活的屁♥股♥蛋子活活拨出了十位的号♥码
Uh-uh. His dexterous cheeks dialed all ten digits.
迪斯科司徒现在不在
Disco Stu is unavailable for you.
哔声过后你知道该怎么做
At the beep, you know what to do.
警方回放了侯默的留言
When police played back Homer's message,
发现了一个可怕的事实
it revealed a horrifying truth.
侯默没有用清洁剂
Homer didn't scrub the spaghetti sauce
把洒在厨房♥里的意面酱擦干净
off that kitchen with cleanser.
这个恶心的混♥蛋♥是把墙舔干净的
The sick bastard licked those walls clean.
语♥音♥信箱
来自侯默·辛普森的信息
场景重现
他得到了一点帮助
He had a little help.
我的第一个念头是删掉这条信息
My first thought was to delete the message, sure,
但我开始沉迷于那吸溜吸溜的音乐盛宴
but then I started grooving to that slurping safari.
除迪斯科之外我太久没听其他音乐了
I hadn't heard any other music than disco in so long.
有时候伪装出的人设会变成陷阱
Sometimes, a persona can just... it becomes a trap, you know?
我就知道不是侯默每个辛普森都是清白的
I knew it couldn't be Homer. Every Simpson is innocent.
直到被证明有罪
Until proven guilty.
错就是清白的
No. Just innocent.
你在干啥别摇每个人的镜头了
What are you doing? Stop panning across the family.
他们不是嫌疑人
They didn't do it.
终于来了我一直在等你
Finally. I've been expecting you.
就像任何正常健康的男孩一样
Like any normal healthy boy, Bart has been the focus
巴仔一直都是警方调查的重点对象
of numerous police investigations.
但是母亲总是知道自己的儿子是清白的
But a mother knows when her son is innocent.
当她自我欺骗
And when she's kidding herself,
并对现实睁一只眼闭一只眼的时候
and when she's turning a blind eye.
她的儿子就是清白的
This time he's innocent.
不信去问他的朋友们
Just ask his friends.
对着录音说一下你的姓名
State your name for the record.
巴仔·辛普森拿了钱
Bart Simpson took the money.
我承认我知道水槽下面有钱
I admit I knew about the money under the sink,
但是每次我借完都会还回去
but whatever I borrowed, I always put back.
而且六百块
Also, $600?
一个十岁的小男孩拿这么多钱干什么
What would a ten-year-old boy do with that much money?
史莱姆巴仔拿钱去买♥♥史莱姆了
Slime. Bart was buying slime.
我从没见过这么配合的证人
I've never seen such a cooperative witness.
我还给你的录音设备买♥♥了新电池
I brought extra batteries for your tape recorder, too.
史莱姆
Slime.
一种黏糊糊的无害的玩具
The gooey, harmless plaything
目前在孩子们中很流行
wildly popular with kids today.
学校保洁员威利
2005-2010 苏格兰宪兵成员
我见证了每一阵潮流
I'd seen all the fads
悠悠球波格游戏口袋妖怪旷课乐
yo-yos, pogs, Pokémon, crunking
约翰·契弗的短篇小说
the short stories of John Cheever.
但是这次比以往都要狂热
But this beat them all.
科学实验室
学校胶水
亮片清洁剂
*晴朗的一天*
*On a clear day*
*起身四处看*
*Rise and look around*
*你*
*You*
*你会认识到你是个*
*And you will see who*
*啥玩意*
*You are*
春田小学
我的计划是垄断史莱姆的生产
My plan was, if I owned all the slime,
然后由我来制定价格
I'd set the price,
但是随之而来的是价格底线的突破
except that's when the bottom fell out.
股价
史莱姆
史莱姆银行
幸运的是有一个轻易上当的蠢货
Lucky for me, there was one gullible schlub
没有意识到这阵狂热已经过去了
who didn't realize the craze was over.
我把全部的存货都卖♥♥给他了
I sold my entire stash to him.
史莱姆
我恨所有人
我没同意拍这个纪录片
I have not agreed to be in your documentary.
请走吧
Please go.
我把从水槽下借来的钱
So I put the money back I had borrowed
放回原处并录像留证