辛普森一家
The Simpsons S30E14
Part 3
Feb. 1, 2020, 7:52 p.m.
when this movie touches people's hearts,
一切都值得了
as Peabo Bryson sings the theme song over the credits.
你们还请了皮波
You got Peabo?
-还没签约 -他不是唯一候选人
- Well, he hasn't committed. - He's not the only one.
这应该是一场浪漫的冒险
This was supposed to be a romantic adventure,
可不管我们啥时独处 你的呼叫机都会响
but whenever we have a moment alone, your beeper goes off.
那我们现在就开始浪漫冒险吧
Why don't we have a romantic adventure right now?
太好了亲爱的
Oh, yeah, baby.
少♥儿♥不♥宜♥
Wahh-wahh.
你去了哪里
Where were you?
我得一个人看完样片
I had to watch the dailies without you.
问候 欢迎
Greetings. Welcome.
问候 欢迎 问候 欢迎 问候
Greetings. Welcome. Greetings. Welcome. Greetings.
我前前后后看了整晚 哪个更好
I've been going back and forth all night. Which is better?
你有没有拍"你好"的
Did you get one with "Hello"?
对不起 我和我的男朋友侯默在一起
I'm sorry, I was with Homer, my boyfriend.
男朋友 你不能有男朋友 我要你
Boyfriend? You can't have a boyfriend. I want you!
阿壳
Krusty!
不是要你做我女人
Not like a lady.
是要你做"妈妈/心理医生/拉比"这种角色
Like a "Mother slash therapist slash rabbi" who xeroxes things.
甩了那个男朋友
Dump the boyfriend.
我相信这部电影 也相信侯默和马姬
I believe in this movie, but I also believe in Homer and Marge.
我 我是马姬
Me, I'm Marge.
是的马姬 马姬 我知道
Oh, yes, Marge. Marge, I knew that.
马姬 马姬
Marge. Marge.
我不会跟侯默分手 他是我的灵魂伴侣
I'm not going to break up with Homer. He's my soul mate.
你知道吗 我懂了
Hmm. You know what? I get it.
你的生活是排在第一位的
Your life has to come first.
然而你还是唯一一个能让我摆正姿态的人
Yet again, you're the only one who can set me straight.
-谢谢你 -没关系
- Thank you. - That's all right.
很有关系
It's not all right.
我要好好修理那个男朋友
I'm gonna grind that boyfriend down finer
让他比电影的红沙还要精细
than this movie's red sand...
我希望那些沙子已经上色了
that I now wish was sand-colored.
叫我的麻醉师进来
Send in my anesthesiologist
这样我就能睡觉了
so I can take a nap.
要不要做梦
Dreams or no dreams?
你来决定吧
Surprise me.
太疯狂了对吧 老兄
Wow, it's crazy, man, right?
自我陶醉和缺乏安全感是如何和谐统一的
How narcissism and insecurity go hand in hand?
你无法做好工作
I mean, you couldn't function
是因为助理有男朋友
because your assistant had a boyfriend.
这种妒忌心是哪儿来的
Where does that jealousy come from?
我怎么知道 我炒了心理医生
How would I know? I fired my shrink
因为我发现她同时在给别的病人看病 总之
after I found out she was seeing other patients. Anyway...
我确保这位男朋友
I made sure the boyfriend
享受了全剧组最危险的工作
had all the most dangerous jobs on the set.
没有玉米煎饼了
I'm out of breakfast burritos.
叫特技替身过来
Bring in the stunt dummy.
很好 我们再来一遍以防万一
Perfect. Let's get one more for safety.
我告诉你 你的疯老板在折磨我
I'm telling you, your crazy boss is out to get me.
没有 阿壳很喜欢我们的关系
No, he's not. Krusty loves our relationship.
每天他都说如果你出了什么事
Every day, he says it would be a shame
那会非常可惜的 然后他笑啊笑
if something happened to you, then laughs and laughs.
那为什么他们派我去沙漠中心
Then why are they sending me out to the middle of the desert
去找一只蜥蜴来拍关于太空蜥蜴的新场景
to find a lizard for a new scene about a space lizard?
那听着是有点危险
Hmm, that does sound a little dangerous.
没有吧 我相信是非常安全的
No, I'm sure it's super safe.
等我活着回来我们再见吧
I'll see you when I get back alive.
外国佬死亡沙漠
过来吧 蜥蜴 蜥蜴 蜥蜴
Here, lizard, lizard, lizard.
是哪只小乖乖想出名呀
Who wants to be famous?
瞧瞧那些骨头
Look at all those skeletons.
墨西哥人肯定很喜欢万圣节
Mexicans sure love Halloween.
什么...
D'oh! What the...?
我被困在峡谷里了
Oh, I'm trapped in a ravine.
只能做一件事 静静等待死亡
Only one thing to do: wait patiently for death.
-老爸醒醒 -什么
- Dad, wake up! - What?
说你呢 起来胖子
Yeah, get up, fat-ass.
你是谁啊 会说话的仙人掌
Who the hell are you, talking cactuses?
我们是你永远不会有的孩子
We're the kids you're never gonna have
除非你赶紧给我爬出来
if you don't you get your lazy butt out of that hole.
严格来说 应该说"仙人掌们"
And technically, it's "Cacti."
我♥干♥嘛要爬出来养你们
Why should I climb out of here and have you?
马姬所有的时间都用来照顾可怜的小丑
Marge spends all her time taking care of that needy clown.
我以为自己才是她的激♥情♥所在
I thought I was her passion project.
有一天你会感谢有这么一个妻子
You know, someday you might appreciate a wife
如此有共鸣和耐心地
who's developed empathy and patience
对待肥胖自私的男人
for chubby, selfish men.
瞧那个秃头
Look at that bald guy.
他好秃
He's so bald!
我觉得我们不会出生了
I don't think we'll ever be born.
不好意思 阿麦
Sorry, Maggie.
怎么样呀
Eat my thorns.
你这个多刺的小混
Why, you prickly...!
一所房♥子 我得救了
A casa. I'm saved.
痛苦之神强迫我挖光这颗星球上所有的石头
The Pain Lords forced me to mine every quarry on this planet,
但他们从未想到我一直拥有爱之宝石
but they never imagined I had the Love Gem all along.
卡
And... cut.
刚才的表演太出色了
That was amazing.
而且你记住了所有的台词
And you remembered all your lines.
谢谢
Aw, thanks...
阿壳的提词
她叫马姬
马姬
Marge.
你帮我变成了所有导演都有的样子
You've helped me become what every director should be:
用地狱般拍摄过程摧残大伙儿的
an amiable guy who makes everyone suffer
一位和蔼可亲的人
through his hellish process.
侯默被绑走了
Homer's been kidnapped.
这有张纸条
There's a note.
你哭哭啼啼的胆小鬼在我手上
"We have taken your blubbering coward."
赎金是一百万
"The ransom is $1 million
或100张洛杉矶袭击者橄榄球队季票
or 100 Los Angeles Raiders season tickets."
袭击者队加油
"Go, Raiders."
天哪 很抱歉大家
Oh, geez, I'm sorry, everyone.
我们没钱去赎回他
We don't have the cash to ransom that kid,
但我知道他的愿望
but I think I know what he'd want:
在片尾我们介绍用哪种电影胶片前
a special thanks in the closing credits
给他来段特别鸣谢
right before which kind of film stock we used.
回去工作
Back to work.
不 咱剧组会罩着自己人
No. This crew looks after its own.
我们要去救出侯默
We're gonna save Homer,
我也不管他们得付我们多少黄金时段
and I don't care how much golden time they have to pay us.
虽然我们没有一百万赎金
We don't have a million-dollar ransom,
但我们有一样东西
but we do have one thing:
电影魔力
movie magic.
大家嗑起来
Powder up, everyone.
对对对 真好笑
"Ay ay ay," Indeed.
把我们的拍摄助理还来
Give us back our P.A.!
是美♥国♥佬♥ 他们还有为未来武器
The Americans, they have weapons from the future.
这些未来武器 不是真的
These weapons from the future, they are not real.
停火 停火 卡
Stop shooting. Stop shooting. Cut!
好吧 现在休息五分钟
Okay, that's a five.
我们没有一百万美元
We don't have your million dollars,
但我们可以给你们更有价值的东西
but we can give you something much more valuable:
一部好莱坞电影
a Hollywood movie.
我们只想要回我们最不值钱的剧组成员
All we want back is the lowliest member of our crew.
我们可以把它卖♥♥给米兰影展的最高竞价者
We could sell it to the highest bidder at MIFED!
成交
You have a deal.
不 你不能把我的杰作送出去
No, no! You can't give away my masterwork.
星辰间有一道光在闪耀
"There's a light that shines from star to star,
它穿过一个个灵魂 将宇宙中的人联结
from soul to soul, connecting everyone in the universe."
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The Simpsons
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