生活大爆炸

The Big Bang Theory S10E21

Part 2 Oct. 7, 2019, 9:58 a.m.

I choose my career over my child!
早跟你说我们应该去乐高乐园
Told you we should have gone to Legoland.
真不敢相信伯特都有女朋友了而我却没有
Can't believe Bert has a girlfriend and I don't.
我还以为你要在花丛中歇歇脚
I thought you were taking a break from women
好好专注你的事业
to focus on your career.
成熟点好吗
Oh, grow up.
你没有朋友可以介绍给他了吗
Don't you have any friends he can date?
我已经把伯纳黛特介绍给霍华德了
Hey, I already set up Howard and Bernadette.
该轮到你去毁掉某个可怜妹子的人生了
It's your turn to ruin some poor girl's life.
你们好呀请进
Oh, hey, guys. Come in.
谢谢
Thanks.
各位
Everyone,
这位是丽贝卡
this is Rebecca.
她不但比他年轻长得还比他好看千百倍
She's younger and far more attractive than he is.
他们俩在模仿你们俩呢
They're copying you two.
你在做什么
What are you making?
鸡肉
Chicken.
鸟儿蹂躏我的头发我得加倍蹂躏它们同类
Birds mess with my hair, I come back hard.
哈雷终于睡下了吗
Finally get Halley down?
是的终于
Yeah, eventually.
不过她还是很抗拒用奶瓶喝奶
She's still not happy about taking a bottle, though.
如果你没准备好回去上班
Look, if you're not ready to go back to work,
我们会想到解决办法的
we'll figure something out.
算了我会没事的
No, I'll be fine.
这对哈雷来说或许是好事
It might be good for her.
霍华德他妈就一直陪在他身边
Howard's mother was around him all the time,
结果把他惯成世界级的妈宝
and he's a world-class mama's boy.
你为什么要这么说
I mean, wh-why would you say that?
来啊发脾气啊那恰恰证明我是"错"的
Go ahead, have a tantrum; that'll prove me wrong.
其实把哈雷养育成比你更独♥立♥的人
It would be nice to raise Halley to be a little more independent
也没什么不好啊
than you were.
大概吧
I guess.
我到了上大学才知道
It wasn't until college that I learned
原来温度计可以放嘴里
you can put a thermometer in your mouth.
听完这么有趣的事晚餐也好了
On that charming note, dinner is served.
这是你第一次跟科学家约会吗
So is this your first time dating a scientist?
因为我打算弄一个互助团
'Cause I'm thinking of starting a support group.
其实我不是第一次了
Actually, I'm not new to this.
我曾跟一名科学神教信徒订婚
I was engaged to a Scientologist.
教主曾是科幻小说家与科学并无关联
伯特丽贝卡
Bert, Rebecca.
我要为我之前无心说错的话道歉
I'd like to apologize for my insensitive comment earlier.
别担心没关系啦
Don't worry about it. It's fine.
瞧人家说没关系
See? It was fine.
我不用出门思过
I didn't need a time-out.
不是真的出门思过我们吃东西吧
It wasn't a time-out. Let's get some food.
你让我出门坐在楼梯上悔过自己的所作所为
You made me sit on the stairs and think about what I did.
去拿吃的
Get your food!
你们俩怎么认识的
So how did you two meet?
这是一个有爱的故事
Oh, it's such a cute story.
我们在一个约会网站上认识的
We met on a dating Web site.
就这样吗
Is that it?
抱歉全剧终
Oh, sorry. The end.
挺好的
That's nice.
我在网络交友这方面还从未成功过
I haven't had much success meeting people online.
我也是直到我修改了我的个人档案
I didn't either, until I revamped my profile.
你做了什么删掉自己的照片吗
What'd you do, delete your photo?
-出去 -好吧
- Go. - Fine.
你敢摔门试试
And don't you slam that door.
可恶
Aw, man.
我说错什么了吗
Did I say something wrong?
不说错话的永远是他
No, it's always him.
伯特你刚说到你更新了自己的个人档案
So, Bert, you were telling us how you updated your profile?
对之前没有一个人理我然后我加了一条
Right. I wasn't getting any responses, and then I added,
最近刚获得天才奖与奖金62.5万美元
recent $625,000 MacArthur grant winner.
结果五分钟后
and five minutes later,
我就遇到了我的灵魂伴侣
I met my soul mate.
是我错了你可以进来了
I was wrong. You can come back in.
丽贝卡你是怎么当上私人健身教练的呢
So, Rebecca, how did you become a personal trainer?
我来洛杉矶是想成为演员
I came to Los Angeles to be an actress,
但结果并不尽如人意
and things didn't really work out.
我本来想说她又在模仿你可是...
I'd say she's copying you again, but...
我真的不想再被赶出门外
...I'm getting tired of sitting in the hall.
我很需要一个私人健身教练
I'd love a personal trainer.
我下班路上开了一家网红奶昔店后
I haven't seen my abs since they opened a Shake Shack
从此腹肌是路人
on my drive home.
我可以免费给你上几堂课
I could give you some free sessions.
听者有份吗
Oh, is that offer for everybody?
省省吧我不会去的
Nice try. I'm not going.
洗手间在哪里
Where's your bathroom?
就在里面
Mm, just down there.
她真的太完美了有时我都怀疑她不是真人
She's so perfect, sometimes I think she isn't real.
直到她去上厕所我才能确定她是真人
And then she goes to the bathroom, and I know she is.
真的好甜蜜好诡异哦
Aw, that's so weird.
恕我直言伯特
I'm sorry, Bert,
你不担心她和你在一起只是为了钱吗
but aren't you worried she's only with you for your money?
就希望她是啊我们第一次约会
She better be. On our first date,
我就给她买♥♥了一台80寸的平板电视
I bought her an 80-inch flat-screen.
第一次约会就买♥♥了
Your first date?
你有量过她家电视墙有多大吗
Did you even measure her walls?
我们第一次约会时
You know, on our first date,
莱纳德用折价券给我买♥♥了椒盐脆饼
Leonard used a coupon to buy me a pretzel.
从此我们就过上了幸福快乐的生活
And we lived happily ever after.
全剧终
The end.
我准备出门了
Well, guess I'm ready to go.
祝你复工第一天愉快
Have a great first day back.
托儿所要用到的你都给她准备好了吗
You have everything she needs for day care?
好了都装到包包里了
Yep, all in the bag.
很好
Good.
好了宝宝
Okay, sweetie,
妈妈要去上班了你今天玩得开心哦
Mommy's gonna go to work now, so you have fun today.
我跟她说了如果托儿所跟监狱情况一样
I told her if day care is anything like prison,
那就去把最大只的宝宝打晕就对了
find the biggest baby and knock him out.
再见小可爱
Bye, cutie.
我会想你的
I'm gonna miss you.
我今晚会在家里等着你回来
I'm gonna be waiting right here tonight when you get home.
别这样你害得我都想哭了
Stop, you're gonna make me cry.
这下好了现在大家都哭了
Great, now everybody's crying.
至少哈雷没哭啊
At least Halley's not.
那很好啊
That's good.
她一整天都见不到我们而她根本不在乎
She's not gonna see us all day, and she doesn't even care!
准备好要被逗乐了吗
Who's ready to laugh?
开讲啦
Okay. So...
费曼爱因斯坦和薛定谔一同走进酒吧里
Feynman, Einstein and Schrodinger walk into a bar.
费曼说
Feynman says,
看样子我们身处一个笑话里
It appears we're inside a joke.
爱因斯坦回答但仅仅是对
Einstein replies, but only to an observer
看见我们一起走进来的人而言[相对论]
who saw us walk in simultaneously.
薛定谔对他说道
To which Schrodinger says,
可发现一只死猫[人]或活猫而非又死又活的叠加态
如果有人从窗户望进来观察我就立马走人
if someone's looking in the window, I'm leaving.
其实还挺好笑的
That's actually funny.
你应该把这笑话发给脱口秀主持人
You should send that to Jimmy Fallon.
你好一起坐吧
Oh, hello. Join us.
抱歉啊昨晚气氛有点尴尬
Hey, sorry if last night was awkward.
事实上我开始思考
Actually, it got me thinking
我不应该用炫富的方式换取爱情
that I shouldn't flaunt my money to find love.
我可能会跟丽贝卡分手
I might break up with Rebecca.
这是个很重要的决定
Wow, that's a big step.
这很能表现出你高尚的品德
I think it shows a lot of character.
我要等等看看看会不会有
I'm gonna hold out and see if I can find
年轻性感的金发妞单纯喜欢我这个人