生活大爆炸
The Big Bang Theory S10E09
Part 3
Oct. 7, 2019, 9:57 a.m.
Leonard! I hurt myself again.
不好意思 我得去拍点照片了
Excuse me, I-I have to go take some pictures.
真不敢相信你居然用头去撞饮水器
I can't believe you head-butted a water fountain.
不 我本打算一拳砸在饮水器上
No, I went to punch the water fountain,
结果踩到饮水器前一滩水滑倒
slipped in water in front of the water fountain,
才一头撞上饮水器
and hit my head on the water fountain.
我真想象不出你暴♥力♥的样子
I can't imagine you being violent.
也没那么难了 想象一下"三个臭皮匠"的表演
It's not hard. Just picture the Three Stooges,
然后去掉两个臭皮匠
and then take away two stooges.
我对自己太失望了
I'm so disappointed in myself.
嫉妒真是毫无逻辑可言
Jealousy is completely illogical.
这是人类的正常感情 谢尔顿
It's a human emotion, Sheldon.
每个人都会嫉妒
Everyone gets jealous.
我就很嫉妒莱纳德和佩妮
I'm jealous of Leonard and Penny
霍华德和伯纳黛特之间
and Howard and Bernadette
相亲相爱的关系
for being in such happy relationships.
不嫉妒我和谢尔顿吗
What about me and Sheldon?
有啦有啦
Sure.
我一直都很嫉妒拉杰
I've always been jealous of how much money
家底丰厚
Raj's family has.
谢谢夸奖 家底丰厚的好处
Thank you for saying that. Next to buying things,
除了买♥♥买♥♥买♥♥ 就是炫炫炫
that is the best part about having money.
自从我认识了佩妮
Ever since I met Penny,
我就一直嫉妒她的美貌
I've been envious of her looks.
谢谢
Aw, thank you.
所以你剪短发时我才笑得合不拢嘴
That's why I was so happy when you cut your hair off.
什么
What?!
你懂我的意思
You know what I mean.
虽然你依然美丽 但更像是
You were still hot, but more like a
"那位美女是疯了才剪短发吧"的那种美
"Why'd that hot girl cut off all her hair?" hot.
你喜欢我的短发造型吧
You liked my short hair, right?
是...我挺喜欢的
Yeah... I loved it.
爱你 爱你的秀发
Love you, love the hair,
咱们换个话题吧
would love to change the subject.
说真的 你们都不喜欢吗
Seriously, none of you liked it?
我觉得你很勇敢
I thought it was brave.
这算是喜欢吗
Does that count as liking it?
那怎么没人说起
You know, how come nobody's talking about
霍华德的傻♥逼♥发型呢
Howard's dopey haircut?
我觉得他挺可爱呀
I think he looks cute.
我觉得你也很可爱
And I think you're cute.
我觉得你俩都好可爱
I think you're both cute.
我觉得我烦死你们这群书呆子了
I think I hate all of you nerds.
抱歉 我走得太慢了
Sorry I'm moving slowly.
没事
Oh, I don't mind.
要是你现在能从兜里掏出颗奶油硬糖
If you pull a butterscotch out of your pocket,
那就真是和跟我奶奶散步一模一样了
it would be like I'm walking with my grandma.
不是吧
Oh, no.
地质学教授
2016麦克阿瑟奖获奖者
你看... 纪念牌
Did you... A plaque?
没人想看这玩意儿
Nobody wants to see this.
把"纪念牌"这词换成"跨种族伴侣"
Well, change "Plaque" to "Mixed-race couple"
你就是我奶奶无疑
and you are my grandma.
我再也受不了了
I can't take this anymore.
伯特 伯特 伯特
Bert. Bert. Bert!
请进
Come in.
好了 我们上吧...
All right, let's do this...
伯特
Bert?
我们得谈谈
We need to talk.
你这是怎么搞的
What happened to you?
石头 石头 饮水器
Rock, rock, water fountain.
这事说起来并不光彩
I am not proud of this.
但我最近一直在嫉妒你的成功
But I have been envious of your recent success.
我得了麦克阿瑟奖
Wow, I won the MacArthur Grant,
大家都开始嫉妒我
everyone's jealous of me.
等我把视力激光矫正手术做了 就别无所求了
Once I get Lasik, I'll be out of things to wish for.
我是希望通过向你坦白我的弱点
I was hoping by admitting my weakness to you,
卸下我心中的重担
I'd somehow be unburdened.
-轻松了吗 -没有
- Is it working? - No.
现在弱点被你知道了
Now that you know my weakness,
我对你的恨意更强烈了
I hate you more than ever.
我们俩都很聪明
Well, you know, we're both pretty smart.
要是我们能一起想
I bet if we put our heads together,
说不定能想出个办法呢
we could come up with a solution.
我们 等等
We... Hang on.
你是我的敌人
You're my enemy.
敌人的敌人就是朋友
Now, the enemy of the enemy is my friend.
现在 我最大的敌人是我自己
And right now, I'm my own worst enemy.
也就是说 你是我朋...
That makes you my fr--
说吧 我洗耳恭听
Okay, I'm good to go.
太好了
Great.
既然我们是朋友了 要不要试试
Now that we're friends, want to see if we can
去搞两张《艾伦秀》的观众入场券
get tickets to a taping of Ellen?
拉倒吧 这行不通的
You know what? This isn't gonna work.
谢尔顿 等等
Sheldon... wait.
你可以高兴的事有很多
You know, you've got a lot to be happy about.
在你的领域里 你是最棒的
You're at the top of your field,
还有一个那么棒的女朋友
you have a great girlfriend.
对啊 想起来了
Yes! That's right!
我有艾米
I have Amy!
过去你曾经喜欢过她
In the past, you've professed feelings for her.
看着我拥有她 而你却望而不得
Does it eat you up inside
心里是不是苦死了
that I have her and you don't?
以前是
It used to.
不过现在我已经名利双收了
But now that I'm rich and successful,
应该可以找个更好的
I think I can do better.
不敢相信 你居然打了伯特一拳
I can't believe you punched Bert.
我没有挥拳打他
I didn't punch him.
是趁他转身 我给他来了一招
He turned around, and I gave him
寇克船长的手刀
a Captain Kirk karate chop.
都不知道他有没有感觉到
I'm not even sure he knows I did it.
谢尔顿
Hey, Sheldon,
我找到了或许能安慰你的人
I've got someone here who might make you feel better.
你好 谢尔顿
Hello, Sheldon.
霍金教授
Professor Hawking!
我理解你
I understand
因为事业上的嫉妒心而挣扎的感受
you're struggling with professional jealousy.
谢你啊 莱纳德 现在害他觉得我不酷了
Thanks, Leonard, now he's not gonna think I'm cool.
别担心 我懂你的感受
Don't worry, I know how you feel.
我一次诺贝尔奖没得过
I have never won a Nobel Prize.
感觉好不公平啊
Oh, wow, that doesn't seem fair.
没关系
It's fine.
我上过动画片《辛普森一家》
I've been on The Simpsons.
你怎么面对同事们的成功呢
How do you deal with the success of your colleagues?
我提醒我自己
I remind myself
每一次科学进步 都是胜利
every scientific advancement is a victory.
而且我还上过《星际迷航》
Also, I was on Star Trek.
那段可精彩了 他和牛顿玩扑克
Oh, it was a good one. He played poker with Sir Isaac...
你没兴趣
You don't care.
不要把你的时间花在嫉妒上 谢尔顿
Don't waste your time on jealousy, Sheldon,
对你的聪明才智是种浪费
you're too brilliant.
连史蒂芬·霍金都夸你聪明
How can you feel bad
你怎么还能难过呢
if Stephen Hawking says you're brilliant?
不难过了
I can't.
谢谢你 霍金教授
Thank you, Professor Hawking.
你就是人类之光
You are a gift to mankind.
应该到处都有你的雕像
There should be statues of you everywhere.
林肯纪念堂里的林肯坐在椅子上呢
You know, the Lincoln Memorial has a big chair.
直接把你换上去吧
We could swap you right in.
要是有个我形象的电动玩具就好了
I always thought a motorized toy of me would be cool.
多好的主意啊
生活大爆炸
The Big Bang Theory
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