生活大爆炸
The Big Bang Theory S10E13
Part 3
Oct. 7, 2019, 9:58 a.m.
I don't know the protocol,
你按♥摩♥时会裸体吗
are you gonna be naked for your massage?
会啊
Well. Yeah.
那我可能穿太多衣服了
Then this is probably too many clothes.
你来干什么
What are you doing here?
我是来道歉的
I came here to apologize.
莱纳德 我很感激你这么做
Okay. Leonard, I really appreciate that,
但我需要一点自己的时间
but I need a little time to myself.
我搞不懂了
Okay. I don't get it.
明明是你叫我要努力的
You said make an effort.
现在我来努力了啊
Here I am, making an effort.
艾米 你好呀
Hello, Amy. It's nice to see you.
你也好呀
Nice to see you, too.
这就是怎么让努力 看起来不会太用力
And that's how you make effort look effortless.
好了 麻烦你先回去
All right. Can you please just go
我们明天再说好吗
and we'll talk about this tomorrow?
我不懂你到底想要什么
I don't understand what you want!
我自己也想知道
I'm trying to figure it out!
知道吗 如果你希望
You know what? If you'd like,
我可以很快草拟一个《感情协议》
I could whip up a quick Relationship Agreement.
反正我在水疗度假村
Well, I'm at a spa,
不妨做一些放松的事
might as well do something relaxing.
谢尔顿 让他们单独聊聊
Sheldon, why don't we give them some privacy?
好的
Very well.
等一下 我们看看迷你酒柜有什么东西
Hey. Later, we'll check out the minibar?
我让你见识下哥斯拉是怎么喝醉的
I'll show you how Godzilla gets drunk.
我们给整间房♥做了地图标记
So what we did was map out the entire room
确定了所有吱吱声的所在
to identify every squeak.
看着 一旦你掌握了就很简单了
Watch. It's easy, once you get the hang of it.
跨步
Step.
跨步
Step.
跳上脚凳
Hop onto ottoman.
不要只穿着袜子跳 我差点摔断脖子
Don't do that in socks, I almost broke my neck.
然后坐下
Then simply sit,
旋转 站起
spin, stand,
跨一大步
stretch...
也许要把裤子松一松
Maybe unloosen your pants.
然后 并腿
And... step,
抓床 略微转身
grab, tiny pivot,
用力一拉 到了
pull, and you're there.
易如反掌 小菜...
Easy, peasy, mac and...
你懂我意思
You get the idea.
你们真指望我在黑暗中
You actually expect me to do this
抱着宝宝这样做吗
while holding a baby in the dark?
稍等
Hold on...
我觉得她没有被感动到
I don't think she was impressed.
我有更大的问题
Bigger problems.
感觉这有东西炸了
I felt something pop.
我的水里有黄瓜
There's a cucumber in my water.
他们知道这事吗
Do they know it's there?
还是我该跟谁反映
Um, sh-should I tell somebody?
是故意放进去的
It's there on purpose.
使味道更清爽
It's refreshing.
有意思
Interesting.
世上最无趣的液体
The world's most boring liquid
世上最无趣的蔬菜
and the world's most boring vegetable.
两者放在一起 我去
But you put 'em together, and bleh.
太好了 你们来了 你们还在吵架吗
Oh! Good, you're here. Are you still fighting?
如果你们离婚了 我可以在两家过两次圣诞吗
If you get divorced, do I get two Christmases?
我们不会离婚
We're not getting divorced.
听着 我们意识到
Listen, we realized, that, uh...
作为夫妻 我们面临了新的挑战
we're facing some new challenges as a married couple.
对 有一些事情
Yeah. And there are a few things
我们得处理好
we need to stay on top of.
所以我们觉得这样做也许有帮助
So we thought it would useful--
真不敢相信我会说这样的话
and I can't believe I am about to say this--
请帮我们拟一份《感情协议》好吗
Would you please help us make a Relationship Agreement?
但要为我们量身定制
But one that's tailored to us.
明白吗 我们不需要标明各自上厕所的时间
Okay? We don't need a bathroom schedule.
不过限制下他从厕所发短♥信♥给我
Although a rule about him texting me from in there
也许对浪漫有帮助
might help with the romance.
你同意吗
What do you say?
我能有机会撰写合同吗
I get to write a contract?
哎呀我滴妈 "甲方"再不开始就太"甲"啦
I say, let's get this party of the first part started!
你觉得这很好笑吗
Do you really think that's funny?
这是我们的协议内容 他说笑话我必须笑
It's in our agreement. I have to laugh.
如果你们觉得草稿可以接受
If you find this draft acceptable,
那我相信你们新的《感情协议》
then I believe your new Relationship Agreement
可以签字了
is ready to be signed.
第8条 B项
Article 8, subsection B:
莱纳德穿着内♥裤♥玩游戏的时间
Leonard will restrict video-gaming in underpants
必须是佩妮不在家的时候
to hours Penny is not home.
内♥裤♥包括平角裤 三角裤 丁字裤 兜裆裤
This includes boxers, briefs, thongs, G-strings
和其他所有令人注意到
or anything else that calls attention
他苍白小大腿的裤子
to his pasty little thighs.
真有必要这样说吗
Does it really need to say that?
我免费帮你们写协议 让我爽爽总应该吧
I did this for free, let me get a little something.
第10条 C项
Article 10, subsection C:
如有质疑 佩妮不能在
If questioned, Penny may not say
有事的情况下说"没事"
that everything is fine if it isn't.
其他无法接受的回答包括"没什么"
Other unacceptable responses include: "It's nothing,"
"别担心" "我说了没什么
"Don't worry about it," And "I said it's nothing,
别担心"
don't worry about it."
我觉得挺好的
I think this all looks good.
我也是
Me, too.
太好了 来
Oh, well. Great, then. Here.
这里签名 写日期
You sign here, date here.
佩妮 在这里签上名字的首字母
And, Penny, if you could initial here to indicate
表示无论莱纳德这货现在是否破损 你都接受
that you're accepting Leonard in "as is" condition.
我还记得签我们的第一份《恋爱协议》
I remember signing our first Relationship Agreement.
你似乎忘了"不准忆当年"的条款
You seem to be forgetting the "No nostalgia" clause.
对 明白
Right, right. Got it.
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The Big Bang Theory
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