生活大爆炸

The Big Bang Theory S10E15

Part 1 Oct. 7, 2019, 9:58 a.m.

我正在把微流控通道里的电渗流流速
Okay, I'm zeroing out the electro-osmotic flow rate
给归零了
in the micro-fluidic channel.
干得漂亮霍华德
Nicely done, Howard.
我老婆身高147公分性生活和谐
Well, my wife is four-foot-ten and sexually satisfied,
很明显能看出我对于小东西很有一套
so clearly I know my way around tiny things.
给你点赞在尖端新科技之前
Good for you, on the cutting edge of new technology
还能继续开这种
and still making inappropriate comments
不尊重你孩子母亲的玩笑
about the mother of your child.
你听到的还只是我说出口的"干净版"呢
Those are just the things I say out loud.
先生们我们得立即停工
Gentlemen, we need to stop immediately.
出什么事了
What's wrong?
我看着这算式
I'm looking at the math,
我觉得我们能够做出
and I think we can make the device
比现有版本小8到10%的仪器
between eight and ten percent smaller.
很好啊可是空军已经同意之前的规格了
That's great, but the Air Force approved the specs.
我们可以继续做下去了
We're good to go.
对啊没必要把它再做更小
Yeah. It doesn't need to be smaller.
你们要不要脸了
Shame on you.
要是贵宾犬繁殖者都是你们这态度会怎么样
Where would we be if poodle breeders had that attitude?
我来告诉你们
I'll tell you.
我们现在只会有标准型跟迷你型贵宾犬
We would have the standard and the miniature poodle,
不会有玩具型跟茶杯型
but no toy or teacup.
顺带一说
Which by the way,
茶杯型并不是官方承认的品种
is not an officially recognized breed,
不过这都是贵宾犬界的事了
but that's just poodle politics.
我们能不能不聊贵宾犬了
Can we please stop talking about poodles?
行啊巧克力棒
Fine. Candy bars.
你喜欢迷你版的吗我知道你喜欢
Now, do you enjoy a fun size? I know you do.
谢尔顿我们不需要把它做得更小了
Sheldon, we don't need to make this smaller.
你的职责已经完成了回家吧
Your work is done. Go home.
我不想回家
I don't want to go home.
行那你去散个步吧
Fine, go for a little walk.
然后呢
Then what?
你就一直走别停就对了
Just keep walking.
至少他去洗手间时这里很清静
At least it's quiet when he takes bathroom breaks.
我知道啊
I know.
所以我才总在他不注意时往他水杯里添水
That's why I keep refilling his water when he's not looking.
你是在开玩笑吧
You're kidding.
就算加水加到干旱也是值得的
I don't care if we're in a drought, it's worth it.
其实我还真有个方法可以摆脱他
You know, I-I do have a way to get him out of our hair.
我已经把这招留着几年了
I've been holding onto this for a few years,
或许现在是时候了
but maybe now's the time.
我们锁上门也行啊不用为此宰了他吧
W-We can just lock the door; you don't have to kill him.
我们才杀不了他
You can't kill him;
他会在最后一次存档的点重生
he'll just respawn at the last save point.
这是我第六次去上厕所了
Oh, that was my sixth trip to the bathroom.
反正不是因为尿路感染就好
As long as that's not a urinary tract infection,
这可是我个人新纪录呢
that's a personal best.
兄弟我有个礼物给你
Hey, uh, buddy, I got you a little present.
-是吗 -对啊
- Really? - Yeah.
来吧打开它
Go ahead, open it.
"恭喜您
"Congratulations.
这张证书的持有者将有机会
The bearer of this certificate is entitled
享受终极火车体验
to the ultimate train experience
地点在内华达北部铁路
at The Nevada Northern Railway.
您将能进驾驶舱
You are at the throttle.
您将会是驾驶员
You are the engineer.
由您来驾驶火车头"
You are running the locomotive."
这事很少发生
This doesn't happen very often,
但大抱抱要来啦
but here comes a hug.
妈呀我又得去尿了
Oh, dear! I have to tinkle again!
好啦我们刚才进行到哪了
Okay. Where were we?
填华仔的职业时
For Howie's occupation,
我该把宇航员也写进去吗
should I include that he was an astronaut?
他甚至在他妈的悼词里都提了就写吧
Well, he mentioned it in his mother's eulogy, so why not?
我真不敢相信你得为一个婴儿
I can't believe you have to fill out
开始填幼儿园的申请表
a preschool application for an infant.
加州理工那间候补名单超级长
Uh, the one at Caltech has a crazy wait list.
我提醒过你很多人怀孕时就开始申请了
I warned you, a lot of people apply when they're still pregnant.
是是是我没申请
Well, I didn't.
我还逃了分娩课去看《疯狂动物城》所以闭嘴吧
I also skipped a birthing class to see Zootopia, so back off.
我只是想帮忙而已
Whoa. Just trying to help.
对不起啦华仔回去工作了
Sorry. Howie's back at work
而手边的事情又太多了
and there's just so much going on.
有什么事我们能帮你的吗
Is there anything we can do?
有啊开个大学学费账户
Sure. Open up a college fund,
去挑人寿保险然后洗衣房♥里
shop for life insurance, and in the laundry room,
还有堆积如山的脏衣服
there's a mountain of dirty laundry.
洗了还是烧了随你选
Wash it or burn in, your choice.
马上回来
Ugh, be right back.
不用不用我来处理
No, no. I will take care of it.
谢谢
Oh, thank you.
我不在的时候你刚好有时间反省一下
While I'm gone, you can think about
你对我的态度有多恶劣
how mean you were to me.
好啦你知道你需要什么吗
All right, you know what you need?
一个抛开这一切的夜晚
A night away from all of this.
你可以放松心情
You know, where you can just kind of relax and...
我就先... 把这个关掉了
I'm just gonna... turn this off.
好多了
Much better.
说认真的来安排一个晚上
Seriously, let's plan a night,
给自己放个假
you know, give you a break.
我们可以一起去蹦迪啊
We could go dancing.
听起来很有意思
That sounds really nice.
这个礼拜帕萨迪纳市中世纪音乐社团要跟
All this week, the Early Music Society of Pasadena
圣盖博市文艺复兴合唱团联合举办音乐会
is doing a joint concert with the San Gabriel Renaissance Choir.
行没更好的就这个了
Okay, that's the one to beat.
找到更好的谈何容易
Good luck.
世人们想超越他们都试了足足六百年了
People have been saying that for 600 years.
你今天回家好早
Hey, you're home early.
说出来你绝对不信
You'll never believe it.
莱纳德给了我一份超棒的礼物
Leonard gave me the most incredible gift,
历史古迹铁路游
a trip to a historic railway,
而且我还能亲自驾驶火车头
and I get to operate an actual locomotive.
他终于使出压箱底的招了
Wow. He finally used it.
你做啥了
What'd you do?
我也不知道
No idea.
我只知道我马上要在铁路工作
All I know is I'm gonna be working on the railroad
整天整日哟
all the livelong day.
我真的很为你高兴
Well, I'm really happy for you.
别别光为我高兴呀
Oh, no. It's not just me. No.
铁路离最近的机场有四小时的车程呢
The railway is four hours from the nearest airport,
猜猜谁有这荣幸载我去
and guess who gets to drive me.
我弃权
I give up.
你啊
You!
不我真的弃权
No. I really give up.
对了猜猜我们可以住哪里
Oh, oh. And guess where we get to sleep?
我们的选择有 19世纪末20世纪初建的铁路宿舍
Our choice of a turn-of-the-century railway bunkhouse
或载货火车的工作守车
or a working caboose.
守车的问题是里面没有洗手间
Now, the problem with a caboose is there's no bathroom,
简易宿舍的问题是它不是守车
but the problem with the bunkhouse is it's not a caboose.
第一天
On the first day,
我可以开蒸汽机火车
I get to drive a steam engine.
第二天是柴油机火车
Oh, and the second day, a diesel engine.
还有还有
Oh, and
如果我自愿做轨道养护和文书工作
if I volunteer to do track maintenance and paperwork,
那我想在那待多久都行
they'll let me stay as long as I want.
所以你最好带的衣服够我们余生穿
So you might want to pack enough clothes for the rest of our lives.
我现在可以尿尿了吗
Can I pee now?
听这个
Oh, get this!
我还能参加考试试题出自一本125页的手册
I get to take a test based on a 125-page manual.