生活大爆炸
The Big Bang Theory S10E12
Part 3
Oct. 7, 2019, 9:58 a.m.
Leonard?
怎么了
Yeah.
挡风玻璃上有东西
There's something on the windshield.
需要休息一下吗
You need a break?
我不需要休息
Do not need a break.
想休息就说 没啥丢脸的
There's no shame in asking for a break.
我想休息了我就会说
If I need a break, I'll ask for a break!
莱纳德
Leonard?
怎么了
Yeah?
你身上有棵树
There's a tree on you.
你想今晚来装饰它吗
You want to decorate it tonight?
用汽油跟火柴吗 当然好
Yeah, with gasoline and a match? Sure.
我希望那生物把我们杀了
I hope it kills us both.
对了 如果以后有人问起
By the way, if anyone asks,
电梯间里从很久以前就一直有棵树
the elevator shaft always had a tree in it.
伯纳黛特 如果我表达出对你的孩子有兴趣
So Bernadette, if I express interest in your baby
你能发誓不逼我摸她吗
will you promise not to make me touch it?
好的
Sure.
跟宝宝的生活还好吗
Hey, how's life with your baby?
不是吧 你打算以后都不碰他们宝宝吗
Really? You're never gonna touch their baby?
我至今也从没碰过斯图尔特
To this day I've never touched Stuart.
很好很愉快 谢尔顿 谢谢关心
It's been wonderful, Sheldon, thanks for asking.
别哭了 我求你了
Oh, please stop crying, I'm begging you!
我不知道还有什么招了
I don't know what else to do!
我的奶水都没了 你要吃千层面吗
My boobs are empty. Do you want lasagna?
嘘 嘘 好啦 好啦
Shh, shh, shh, it's okay, it's okay.
我们犯了大错啊
What have we done?
我找到超级英雄婴儿湿巾啦
Hey, I found superhero baby wipes,
能完美收拾坏人
the perfect way to clean up crime...
以及宝宝屁屁
and tushies.
我花了两个小时才把她哄睡
It took me two hours to get her down.
你歇着 这回我来
Oh, you-you relax, I'll take this shift.
在印度的时候 我小♥弟♥弟♥一哭成这德行
You know, in India when my baby brother cried like that,
仆人们就会把他带到很远的地方去
the servants would just take him far away
这样我们就听不见了
so we couldn't hear it.
不总是这样 有时候是我们走远
Not always, sometimes we'd leave.
他把孩子哄好了
Hey, he got her to stop.
真够快的
That was so fast.
他真会哄这孩子
Oh, he's really good with her.
对 他有天赋
Yeah, he has a gift.
怎么啦
What's the matter?
没事 这是喜极而泣
Nothing, these are happy tears.
那就好
Oh, good.
才不是 你个蠢货
No they're not, you bozo!
凭啥斯图尔特就能让她不哭 我却不行
How come Stuart can get her to stop crying, but I can't?
那可是斯图尔特啊
I mean, it's Stuart.
也许她是装死 好让他走开
Maybe she's playing possum until he goes away.
不好笑
Not funny.
她太累了 你说得很好笑
She's tired, that was funny.
大家都比我这个妈妈称职
Everyone's a better mom than me.
别总把错往身上揽
Oh, don't take it so personally,
也许只是你家孩子特别熊呢
maybe your baby's just a jerk.
后来怎么了
Wait, so how does the story end?
到底是因为你家孩子熊
Is the baby a jerk
还是因为伯纳黛特不是个称职的妈
or is Bernadette a bad mother?
-谢尔顿 -怎么了
- Sheldon! - W-What?
剧情还有反转吗
Is there another twist coming?
难道说孩子根本不是他们的
Is the baby not theirs at all?
别搭理他
Ignore him.
你怎么让孩子不哭的
How did you get the baby to stop crying?
就是跟她聊天
Oh, I just talked to her.
总有人跟我说 一听我说话就想睡觉
I've been told the sound of my voice puts people to sleep.
你这可怜的人儿 肯定累坏了
You poor things, you must be exhausted.
哭得太凶了 确实睡不好
It has been hard to sleep with all the crying.
她怎么能恨我
How can she hate me?
我可是用胸部在哺育她
I make her food in my chest!
简直跟恨冻酸奶机一样嘛
It's like hating a frozen yogurt machine.
她并不恨你 别这么说了
She doesn't hate you, stop saying that.
现在连你也恨我了
Now you hate me too!
我不恨你
Shh, I don't hate you.
网上说 高达八成的产妇
It says here that up to 80% of new mothers
都患过产后抑郁症
experience baby blues.
最好的办法就是
And that the best thing to do
让她们相信 她们做得很好
is reassure them that they're doing a good job.
伯纳黛特
Bernadette,
你做得很棒了
you are doing a good job.
谢谢你 谢尔顿 我现在感觉好点了
Thank you, Sheldon, I'm feeling better now.
你该谢的是互联网
Thank you, Internet.
我就跟你说 只要找对了视频
I'm telling you, with the right YouTube video,
我都可以给霍华德做绝育
I can give Howard a vasectomy.
后来情况有好转吗
So things started to turn around?
有 最后我终于知道怎么让孩子睡觉了
Yeah, eventually I figured out how to get the baby to sleep.
别跟我说你是用艾米的神奇果汁
Please tell me you didn't use Amy's magic juice.
妮妮
Bernie?
她睡着了
She's asleep.
太好了
Great.
可你在哪啊
And where are you?
下面
Down here.
新招啊
This is new.
我不知道该怎么办了
I didn't know what else to do.
但成功了
It worked.
我想说 这真是不按套路走的想法
Well, I'd say that's thinking outside the box,
但... 你都套进去了
but... come on.
别让我笑出来
Don't make me laugh.
需要我扶你出来吗
Do you need help getting out?
以后我就住这了
I think I live here now.
挺好的
It's fine.
我去睡会觉行吗
Is it okay if I get some sleep?
行 去吧
Yeah, go ahead.
干得好 妈咪
Good job, Mommy.
我为你骄傲
I'm proud of you.
也不要让我哭
Don't make me cry, either.
晚安
Good night.
我爱你们
I love both my girls.
我们也爱你
We love you, too.
真不敢相信你能躺进婴儿摇篮
I can't believe you fit in the crib.
我还能用洗手池泡澡呢
I could take a bath in the sink.
我不做 但是我做得到
I don't, but I can.
你假期过得怎么样
So how were your holidays?
多谢关心
Oh, thank you for asking.
我去看了我奶奶
Uh, I, uh, went to visit my grandmother.
她住在贝克斯菲尔德
She's in Bakersfield.
通常是我兄弟姐妹去
Uh, usually my brother and sister go...
要不要这样
Oh, come on!
玩得很开心 谢谢你们
That was fun, thank you.
对 谢谢
Yeah, thanks.
小事一桩 上班见了 伙计们
Our pleasure. See you guys at work.
早早儿地到啊
Be there bright and early.
我不去 放产假
Not me, paternity leave.
一个小婴儿让他老婆的生殖器受苦受难
A small human wreaks havoc on his wife's genitals
而他居然能休假
and he gets time off.
还是带薪的哦 废柴
With pay, sucka!
差点忘了宝宝 新手上路
Forgot the baby, still new to this.
生活大爆炸
The Big Bang Theory
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