辛普森一家
The Simpsons S32E17
Part 3
May 18, 2021, 9:28 a.m.
You never told Clancy?
这么说吧 他总是更擅长栽赃
Let's just say he's always been better
而不是破案
at planting evidence than finding it.
不如我现在打电♥话♥告诉他一切
Why don't I just call him now and tell him everything?
算我一个
I'm in.
我们的妻子失踪了
Our wives are missing?
也不是闻所未闻
Not unheard of.
大多数女性在脑海中
Most women have such an idealized version
都会理想化二战
of the second world war in their heads
所以当她们遇到冰冷 残酷的现实时
that when they meet the cold, hard reality,
会无法面对
they can't face it.
你看到发生什么事了吗
Did you see what happened?
只有一个目击证人
There was but one witness.
小水手拉尔夫 汇报你守夜期间的情况
Junior seaman ralph, give your account of the watch.
妈妈们戴上了新的遮脸帽
The mommies got new face hats,
然后上了一辆有滑动门的车
then got into a slidey-door car.
别担心 我能听懂他的话
Don't worry, I speak Ralph.
遮脸帽 滑动门
Face hats? Slidey-door?
天呐 她们被绑♥架♥了
God, they were kidnapped!
敢绑♥架♥警♥察♥局长老婆
and there's only one man bold enough
和他认识的稍微瘦一点的女人
to kidnap the wives of the chief of police
的嫌疑犯有且只有一个
and his slightly slimmer acquaintance.
莎拉被绑♥架♥了
Sarah was kidnapped?
别装了 我们知道是你干的
Oh, spare me the act. We know it was you.
我没装 我发誓不是我
I spare, I swear.
我得让你的家庭健康幸福
I need your family to be happy and healthy,
因为如果真发生什么事情
Because who else would I say it would be a shame
我还能对谁表示惋惜呢
if something were to happen to?
行吧 那如果是你的某个伙计干的呢
Okay, but what about one of your cronies?
我向你保证 在我的生意伙伴们中
I assure you, you are a beloved figure
你是个非常受人爱戴的人物
amongst my business brethren.
局长搞砸了黑帮调查
局长搞砸了缉毒行动 局长搞砸了警犬部队的毕业典礼
你长得好像墙上那个"搞砸"警长
You look a lot like that guy chief bungles.
但没有什么其他理由绑♥架♥莎拉了
But there's no other reason to kidnap Sarah.
她只是我的小宝贝罢了
She's just my little schmoop-a-doop,
没招谁惹谁过
And that's all there is to her.
显然不是
Apparently not.
也许你们的妻子没有被绑♥架♥
Perhaps your wives were not kidnapped.
也许她们因为丈夫太自私离开了
Perhaps they left because you are selfish men.
这是唯一的合理解释
That's the only explanation.
是我们的锅
It was all about us.
开工 什么安排
All right, what's the job?
偿债
内格勒卖♥♥掉了我们的珠宝
Naegle sold the jewels she ripped off from us
成了一个花里胡哨的名媛
And became a fancy socialite.
但她保留了最大的一块钻石
She kept the biggest rock for herself.
世代集♥会♥服装造型小预告
沙漏钻石 在她的王冠里
The hourglass diamond-- it's in her tiara.
等她明天戴着它去庆典的时候
And we're gonna steal it back
世代财富博物馆
我们就把它偷回来
when she wears it to the gen gala, tomorrow.
你们要在世代集♥会♥上实施抢劫
You're gonna rob the gen gala?
对不起 当我没说 溜了
Sorry, sorry. Scheme away.
好的 接下来是这样
Okay, here's how it's gonna work.
首先 我们从这个检修通道进入博物馆
First, we come up through this manhole.
不行
Nope!
请插嘴
Excuse you?
我可能对抢劫一无所知
Look, I may not know anything about heists,
但我是世代集♥会♥的超级粉丝
But I am the world's biggest superfan of the gen gala,
你们的计划行不通的
And your plan won't work.
为什么
And why not?
如果你提前了解过这次集♥会♥
If you did any research,
你就应该知道 碧昂斯会被20个肌肉猛♥男♥
You'd know Beyonce is going to be carried in
抬着入场
By 20 plus-size gladiators,
这些猛♥男♥会搭起一个人梯
Who will form a human pyramid
就在检修通道正上方
Right on top of your way in.
抢劫必失败
No heist.
既然你这么聪明
If you're so kmart smart,
你有什么建议
How would you get in?
这些入口会被粉丝
Well, these entrances will be blocked by fans,
世代财富博物馆
还有媒体和授权合法的狗仔队堵死
Press and authorized stalkers.
最好的计划是穿上一件疯狂的裙子
The best plan would be to put on a crazy dress
直接从红毯上走进去
And sneak in through the red carpet.
不过 没有公♥关♥ 你们走不了多远
Although, you wouldn't get far without a publicist
公♥关♥得是一位对集♥会♥了如指掌的人
who knows everything about the gala.
-比如你 - 没错
- Someone like you? - Yeah.
这位贤妻良母型家庭主妇可能是个秘密武器
This vanilla soccer mom could be our secret weapon.
让我加入抢劫
Me? Join the robbery?
不可能
No way!
偷窃可是最不能打破的戒律之一
Stealing is one of the big "thou shalt nots."
这不是钱的问题
It's not about the cash.
我们是想让一切恢复原状
It's about setting things right.
琳赛·内格勒为了金钱和名气背叛我们
Lindsey Naegle betrayed us for money and fame,
而我们只得到了糟糕的监狱纹身
and all we got are bad prison tattoos.
小鸭鸭
Aw, duckies!
马姬 你一直被低估和忽视
Marge, aren't you tired
难道不会感到厌倦吗
of being underestimated and overlooked?
你我携手 就能扭转错误
Together, we can right a wrong
同时还能惊艳亮相一回
and look damn good doing it.
我一直想这么说
I've always wanted to say this...
算我一个
I'm in.
姐妹情谊
我是肯特·布罗克曼 在世代博物馆外
This is Kent Brockman outside
世代集♥会♥
为您带来一年一度世代集♥会♥的盛况
the Museum of Generational Wealth for the annual Gen Gala.
今年集♥会♥的主题是"放肆"
This year's theme is "the audacity."
与去年的主题"焦虑"形成了鲜明对比
A bold contrast to last year's theme "the nerve."
但我只能站在门口
But I'm stuck out here,
和其他成百上千无名之辈聚在一起
where hundreds of nobodies have gathered to watch
看着为数不多的明星大腕走上台阶
dozens of somebodies walk up some stairs.
马姬不在的时候我们看这个真的好吗
Should we do this without Marge?
这是她每年最爱看的盛典
This is her favorite watching-party of the year.
别提她了 我都等不及要看那些疯子了
Forget her. I'm jonesing for snark.
老天 看看那条裙子啊
Oh, god, would you look at that dress.
是谁设计的 大太平洋垃圾地带吗
Who is the designer, the Great Pacific Garbage Patch?
可能是吧
Probably?
颜色搭配得真好
Ah, that's the good shade.
这计划不错 我们光彩照人
The plan's working. We look amazing.
现在得想办法弄到入场券
Now, let's get those tickets.
顺手牵羊
55级台阶
The 55 stairs.
添加利[金酒]牌的细高跟打磨器
The Tanqueray stiletto sharpener.
布满施华洛世奇水晶的轮椅斜坡
The Swarovski crystal wheelchair ramp.
别盯着看了
Stop gawking.
我们怎么让她俩进来
Where do we let the other girls in?
就在那边 就在 天啊
Right over there, next to-- oh, my god!
蕾哈娜
Rihanna!
你所有歌♥的纯净版我都在听
I listen to the clean versions of all your songs!
即对歌♥词中限制级词语做了消音处理的版本
现在就来看看我的身躯是否还曼妙依旧吧
Now, let's see if there's any honey left in this pot.
偷心大盗的回归
不好意思 我好像拉伤了肌肉
Excuse me, I seemed to have a pulled a muscle.
你这有没有冰袋 这样我的腿就不会再
Do you have an ice pack so that my leg can stop...
颤抖了
quivering?
马上就来 女士
Right away, ma'am.
性感尤物
Oh-ho, hot stuff.
还是找不到我们的妻子
No sign of our wives.
我们找遍了所有她们爱去的地方
We checked out all their favorite places,
其实是我们压根没用心了解
but turns out we don't pay enough attention
她们爱去哪
to know what those are.
所以我也不知道我们去了哪些地方
So I don't know what we did.
照看你儿子 我真是太开心了
It was my distinct pleasure to watch your son.
我发现我们很合得来
I find we are quite simpatico.
我们俩对什么都一无所知
Both of us know nothin' about nothin'.
辛普森一家
The Simpsons
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