辛普森一家
The Simpsons S32E13
Part 3
March 29, 2021, 9:50 a.m.
写好了
There.
接下来加一个吸引人的标题
Now all I need is a catchy title.
知道了
I got it.
不要再拍春田杜松队富豪的马屁了
"stop coddling the springfield junipers wealthy."
字数超了
Whoops, too long. Hmm.
那就“别再拍S.J.W.的马屁了”
How about "stop coddling the S.J.W.S."
发表
And post.
这个标题应该能成功引起注意吧
I wonder if that headline will get any attention.
一份请♥愿♥引发的新闻报道
一份针对本地私人高尔夫俱乐部的网络请♥愿♥书
An online petition attacking our local private golf club
已经收集了超过100万个签名
has garnered over one million signatures.
100万
One million?
妈妈呀
Mom,
你标题用了“S.J.W.”
You used the term "S.J.W."
对 我知道
Yes, I know.
春田杜松队的富豪们
The "springfield junipers wealthy."
不 "S.J.W."的意思是"社会正义战士"
No! "s.J.W." stands for "social justice warriors."
这是右翼喷子对关心社会积极变革的人的称呼
That's what right-wing trolls call anyone who cares about positive social change.
看看你所谓的支持者
Look at the other online petitions
点赞的其他请♥愿♥书
Your "supporters" have backed.
您的支持者也支持了以下请♥愿♥:
在美国和塔♥利♥班♥国之间建一堵墙 国♥庆♥节当天不用系安全带 把第二修正案升级成第一修正案
只有签名应该起不到什么作用吧
A signature's a signature?
由于投诉者玛姬·辛普森
Thanks to the cranky clicks collected
集到的点击量太高
by local complainer Marge Simpson,
春田高尔夫俱乐部
Springfield's golf club will have to pay
将不得不支付高额的财产税
a huge property tax increase,
这将威胁到俱乐部的生存
Threatening the club's very existence.
点心发言系列
根据某记者公正客观的分♥析♥意见
In one reporter's unbiased opinion,
关闭这一地标性质的俱乐部是很愚蠢的
Closing this par-72 landmark would be a travesty.
所有市民都都将悼念
One and all would mourn the loss
这片富人专属的私人草地
Of this exclusive private green space
和拉蒙调制的血腥玛丽
And Ramon's famous bloody marys.
他用高尔夫球座串橄榄
He uses a golf tee as an olive skewer.
他应该是叫拉蒙吧
I think it's Ramon.
我终于找到一个我擅长的东西
I finally found something I'm good at,
而你想毁了它
And you want to ruin it!
你根本不懂把一个小东西带到这世上
You don't know what it's like to bring something into this world,
日夜操劳 看着它慢慢长大是什么感受
Watch it grow and worry about it day and night.
我爱你 钱团团
I love you, wad.
我带你去买♥♥橡皮筋
We're going shopping for rubber bands.
你应得的奖励
You deserve it!
辛普森 到一号♥发球区报到
Simpson, report to the first tee.
朱尼珀高尔夫俱乐部 俱乐部主席比尔多夫
开球时间:上午10:45
开始你的表演
You're going to the show.
太好了
Yes!
马唐草
Digitaria sanguinalis.
告诉铁男他被开除了
Tell tetsuo he's fired.
我想那是铁男吧
I think it's tetsuo.
俱乐部主席先生
Mr. Club president?
不好意思 刚才恍惚间
I'm sorry, for a second there,
我把你错当成年轻的皮尔斯·布鲁斯南了
I mistook you for a young Pierce Brosnan.
非常年轻的那种
Very young.
放过我吧 孩子 我早就听腻了
Spare me, kid. I've heard it all.
辛普森 你母亲竞选会让俱乐部破产的
Simpson, your mother's campaign is going to bankrupt this club.
我需要你说服她罢手
I need you to convince her to call it off.
我正在努力
Oh, I am trying.
我妈从不退缩 不管她错得多离谱
My mom never backs down, no matter how wrong she is.
这就是为什么她坚持嫁给我爸
That's why she's still married to my dad!
为什么慈善机构和教堂
Why are charities and churches
是唯一不用缴税的
the only ones that don't have to pay taxes?
这太荒谬了
It's preposterous.
这地方比任何教堂都好
Yeah, man, this place is better than any church.
每个人星期天都想来这里
Everyone wants to come here on sunday,
人们总呼喊着上帝的名字
people are always shouting out the lord's name
没有薄饼和葡萄酒 取而代之的是
and, instead of wafers and wine,
俱乐部三明治和塑料杯装的苏格兰威士忌
you get club sandwiches and scotch in a plastic cup!
巴仔·辛普森
Bart simpson,
你给我出了个好主意
you've just given me the greatest idea
自有人发明卡其裤上绣小鲸鱼以来
since little whales embroidered on khakis.
直到今天 高尔夫运动
As of today, the sport of golf
被官宣为一种宗教
is officially declared a religion.
春田杜松高尔夫球俱乐部
The Springfield Junipers Golf Club
现在是礼拜堂了
is now a house of worship.
和所有宗教一样 高尔夫将完全免税
Like all religions, golf will be completely tax-exempt,
秉承美国的核心信条
adhering to the core american credo
教堂稳赚一大笔 却分文不付
that churches rake it in but pay nothing.
愿高尔夫球怜悯众人
May golf have mercy on us all.
进洞
Get in the hole!
第一所被祝福的加击教堂
欢迎大家
25000块入会费
感谢你的光临 教皇陛下
Thank you for coming, your holinesses.
一旦你看到这些高尔夫球手
Once you see how these golfers
贬低了宗教的概念
are cheapening the whole idea of religion,
你就会结束这场骗局
you'll put an end to this sham.
你想让我评判别人的信仰在我的之下吗
You want me to cast judgment on a faith other than my own?
那就悉听尊便吧
Well, twist my arm.
*我没事 上帝 上帝*
*I'm alright, Lordy, Lordy?*
*没人为我担心 不用担心*
*Don't nobody worry 'bout me, don't worry?*
*你要跟我打一架吗*
*You got to gimme a fight?*
*你为什么不让我安静点*
*Why don't you just let me be?*
*哈利路亚*
*Hallelujah!*
教会成员 圣经 祷告
Congregants, scripture, prayer
在我看来这就像个礼拜的地方
looks like a house of worship to me.
高尔夫十戒律
1）我是上帝 你的高尔夫
2）记住主日 并保持神圣
3）尊重你妻 但让她远离俱乐部
4）经常分享你差点一杆进洞的故事
5）不知为何你喜欢的帽子是鸭舌帽
6）你会觊觎邻居的新推杆
7）试一试俱乐部新的素食三明治 真是太棒了
8）你不必改善你的生活(除非有人窥伺)
9）球场上糟糕的一天好过工作上的 朋友
10）在蒸汽房♥里别表现的太惬意
这不是戒律
These aren't commandments.
是我不懂的笑话
They're jokes I don't get.
圣人比比皆是
Well, there's plenty of saints.
大白鲨保佑
Blessed the Shark,
格雷格·诺曼 著名高尔夫球手 人称"大白鲨"
让我儿子的高尔夫球
deliver my son's golf ball safely
能顺利打进圆石滩高尔夫球场
onto the green of Pebble Beach's notorious
位于加州 其17号♥洞由于地理位置所在被认为难度最大
臭名昭著的17号♥洞里去
and the evil 17th hole.
看啊 这就像每天都是犹太圣洁日
Look at this! It's like the high holidays every day.
我简直不敢相信
I should be so lucky.
马姬 很抱歉
Marge, I'm sorry,
但我觉得这个教会符合所有规定
but I think this religion checks all the boxes.
我们决定了 这就是一种信仰
We're calling it. It's a faith.
球童小屋
我不能眼睁睁看着他这样
I just can't take seeing him like this.
亲爱的 这么多年里我学到的就是
Honey, over the years I've learned
你只是希望我倾听你的烦恼
that you just want me to listen to your problems
而不是想着去着手解决
and not always try to solve them.
所以 祝你好运
So... good luck.
今天是周日 你不是应该去教堂了吗
It's sunday. Shouldn't you be in church?
我是说 你自己的教堂
I mean, your church.
关于这份工作 我已经说得够多了
I've said a lot to you about this job,
但我没说过内心深处的想法
except what's deepest in my heart.
宝贝 在你身上我一直最钦佩的品质
Honey, the thing I've always admired most about you
就是你从来不需要其他人的认可
is that you've never needed anyone else's approval.
我很担心你会失去这一品质
And I'm worried you're gonna lose that.
我不会当一辈子马屁精的
I'm not gonna suck up forever.
等我有钱了就行
Just until I'm rich.
然后别人就会来拍我的马屁了
Then other people will suck up to me.
答应我那些打高尔夫的人
Promise me these golf people won't take away
不会让我特别的小家伙消失
my special little guy,
因为似乎他们能得到其他一切想要的东西
because they seem to get everything else they want.
准备好了吗 先生
辛普森一家
The Simpsons
剧集 | 辛普森一家 | 导航列表