辛普森一家
The Simpsons S32E16
Part 3
March 29, 2021, 9:50 a.m.
Take it or leave it.
发生了什么
What's happened to you?
我变成了一个无赖 因为我没爸
I'm becoming a jerk because I have no dad.
所以如果他回来了 你会表现好吗
So you'll be better if he comes back?
并不会 但你就不用承担责任了
Maybe not, but you won't get all the blame.
《如何让宝宝戒掉奶嘴》
《如何清洁通风口》
电子支付密♥码♥ 别搞丢了
我也想让他回来
Well, I want him back, too.
我想让他回来
I want him back,
但我需要你们的爸爸先做一件事
but I need your father to do one great thing.
一件能证明
One thing to show
我忍♥受的一切都是有意义的事
that all the nonsense I put up with has a point.
现在我们得去参加午夜弥撒了
Now, we're going to go to midnight mass
不带爸爸
without your father.
不能去教堂了
Aw, missing church.
这是我最难过的快乐时刻了
This is the saddest I've ever been happy.
一件事 一个表态
One thing. One gesture.
我知道了
I know!
我可以做圣诞节真正意义所在的事
I'll do the thing that christmas is really all about!
烤饼干
Make cookies.
爸爸做了饼干
Dad made cookies!
好耶
Yay!
你自己吃掉了多少
How many did you eat?
没全吃完
Most but not all.
太优秀了
Oh, that's wonderful!
原谅没了 饼干也没了
No forgiveness, no cookies,
我还把好看的窗帘烧了
And I burned the good drapes
所以我们得用玉米印花的窗帘了
So we'll have to get corncob curtains.
我需要一个奇迹
I need a miracle,
但圣诞节从来不会发生什么奇迹
But those never happen at christmas.
宫缩
Contraction!
求求那个孕妇别叫了
Oh, if only that pregnant woman would stop that racket
我需要思考
So I could think.
你可以帮忙接生
You could deliver the baby.
你谁啊
Wait, who are you?
我是你的大脑
I'm your brain.
我以前怎么没有听你说过话
How come I haven't heard from you before?
你之前只听胃说的话
Your stomach gets all the bloo.
你闭嘴
You shut up about that!
小心我上去揍你
I know where you live.
孩子要出生了
Oh, the baby's coming.
你♥爸♥爸呢
Oh, wh-where's your father?
他正在给穷♥人♥们捐送圣诞节火鸡
He's delivering christmas turkeys to the poor.
自私的王八蛋
That selfish jerk.
有人召唤了一位不请自来的英雄吗
Did somebody order an unlikely hero?
茉德 我送你去医院吧
Maude, let's get you to the hospital.
不行 来不及了
No. It's too late.
那我就亲自接生这个孩子
Then I'll deliver this baby myself.
你怎么做得到
How are you gonna do that?
就跟我了解
The same way I learned
史上最棒的十首贝斯独奏的方法一样
what the top ten bass solos through history are--
通过油管
through YouTube.
婴儿开箱教程
如何成为一个好搭档
搭档梅尔[梅尔文·范·霍恩]来告诉你
总是有广♥告♥
Oh, there's always a commercial.
如何成为一个好搭档
视频马上开始
跳过广♥告♥
总会有那么一天 记住我说的话
There will be a time, mark my words,
有个家伙情绪失控
where the monkey attempts to eat your face.
如果你都做得没错
If you've done everything correctly,
那准妈妈现在应该是很平静的
Your mother-to-be is calm and peaceful.
闭嘴
Shut up.
你什么都不懂
You know nothing.
抱歉 我不想冲你发火的
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get angry.
-没事的 -你当然没事
- That's okay. - Of course it's okay!
你能帮我个忙吗
Could you do me a favor?
乐意之至
Anything.
扮成内德
Pretend to be Ned.
没问题
Okay.
那啥 那啥
Oodily doodily.
不是开玩笑 孩子就要降生啦
Uh, no clownin', that baby's crownin'.
你就要生了 亲爱的邻居
You're almost out of labor, neighbor.
不 不 我要真正的内德
No, no. The real Ned.
我是一个留着小胡子的左撇子怪胎
Um, uh, uh, I'm a left-handed weirdo with a cop mustache.
不 不 不
No. No, no, no.
我是说和我结婚的那个安静 优秀的男人
I mean the quiet, wonderful man I married.
好吧
All right.
为了帮你生下这个孩子
To help you deliver this baby,
我将做出终极牺牲
I'll make the ultimate sacrifice.
我要表现得像个窝囊废一样
I'll act like a weenie.
茉德 我知道我会爱上天堂
Maude, I know I'll love heaven
因为有你在的人间就是天堂
because you've made one for me on earth.
让我们再为这世间带来一个小天使吧
Let's bring another angel into this world.
孩子很正常
Perfectly normal.
手指脚趾各有八根
Eight fingers and eight toes.
你在这多久了
How long have you been here?
久到足以看清当初我嫁的那个男人
Long enough to see the man I married
英勇又机智
is heroic and wise
能干又无畏
and capable and brave
-而且还... -把孩子给我
- and... - Give me my baby!
还真是你的孩子 给你
I guess it is mostly yours. Here.
老侯 你做得很好
Homie, you did great.
茉德
Oh, Maude.
我很抱歉
I'm so sorry.
没关系 内德
It's okay, Neddy.
我被照顾得很好
I was in good hands.
我在圣诞节得到了自我救赎
I redeemed myself at Christmas,
就像《绿毛怪格林奇》
Like the Grinch,
像《虎胆龙威》
The Die Hard guy
还有《孤寒财主》
And Scrooged.
为了纪念这一天
In honor of today,
我准备将儿子命名为侯默
We're gonna name our son Homer.
托德·侯默·傅兰德
Todd Homer Flanders.
托德的中间名是侯默
Todd's middle name is Homer?
没错 而且由于相似的原因
Yep. And for similar reasons,
阿麦的中间名是莱尼
Maggie's middle name is Lenny.
但这故事要等到下个植树节再讲
But that's a story for the next arbor day.
我想看看你的秘密房♥间
Well, I want to see your secret room.
别着急 孩子
Oh-oh-oh, not so fast, boy.
首先你得告诉我一个秘密
First you have to tell me one of your secrets.
好吧 原因不能说
Okay. Not saying why,
但是我觉得你应该换一个新牙刷了
But you might want to get a new toothbrush.
你也一样 儿子
You, too, son.
还有你
You, too.
我发现了你们出生那天的其他真♥相♥
And I found out something else about the day you were born.
什么
What?
你生下来就有满嘴的牙
You were born with a full set of teeth.
这就是证据
And here they are!
我的假牙哪去了
Where are my dentures?!
今晚有个重要的约会
I got a hot date tonight,
我还想表演一下啃鸡爪子呢
And I want to show off by eatin' chicken.
我怎么跑树顶上去了
What am I doin' up there?
你觉得孩子们能听到吗
You think the kids can hear?
不会的 这里是绝对隔音的
No, no, everything up here is totally soundproof.
别在意我 你们继续啊
Well, don't let me stop youse.
还瞅啥啊 接着搞啊
What? What are you lookin' at?
范浩腾一家和柯克
祝您圣诞快乐
圣诞快乐
你的密♥码♥是'MIMA'
趁着今天乐呵乐呵吧
明天我们再聊你的检查结果
生日快乐 耶叔
请享用蒸火腿
你一直想要的礼物
叭啦叭拔叭
圣诞快乐喵
呵呵呵
辛普森一家
The Simpsons
剧集 | 辛普森一家 | 导航列表