辛普森一家
The Simpsons S32E06
Part 2
March 1, 2021, 2 p.m.
Stupid podcasts.
还好我有家可回
Thank God I have my family.
开门迎接温暖吧
Now to open this door.
《不讲段子 喜剧演员采访喜剧演员》
《体育界的阴谋家们》
《你就穿这个》
针对屌♥丝们的刻薄女孩的播客
《帽子里的聊天》
苏斯博士的播客
这里是过气新闻 主持人肯特·布罗克曼
This is Kent Brockman, yesterday's news.
六频道演播室
最后那头驴原来是一匹马
And in the end, the donkey turned out to be a horse.
我知道你们看新闻只是因为
You're only watching this
医生候诊室的电视一直开着
because somebody left the TV on in a doctor's waiting room.
等等 现在插播一条突发新闻
W-Wait, w-wait a second. We have breaking news!
突发新闻
公海发生一起谋杀案
There's been a murder on the high seas.
本地一名女士
A local woman is presumed dead
从游轮落水后被认为死亡
after going overboard on a cruise ship.
从游轮上消失的女人
A woman disappears from a cruise.
会是谁干的
I wonder who did it.
可能是
Could it be...
丈夫或男友
The husband or boyfriend?
是跟爷爷接过吻的女子
That's the lady Grampa was kissing.
海上失踪的女人
爷爷就是那个丈夫或男友
Grampa's the husband or boyfriend?
当局称失踪的女子正是已退休的新秀
Authorities say the missing woman is retired starlet
薇薇安·圣查梅恩
Vivienne Saint Charmaine.
她的男友或丈夫 亚伯拉罕·辛普森
Her boyfriend or husband, Abraham Simpson,
已被拘留审问
has been detained for questioning.
爷爷 杀手
Grampa? A killer?
他根本没有谋划并成功作案的能力
He doesn't have that kind of follow-through.
是亚伯·辛普森干的吗 没人说得准
Did Abe Simpson do it? No one can say for sure.
但这案子有成为热门犯罪播客题材的潜质
But this story has the makings of a hit crime podcast.
跟我一起以公平公正的眼光
Join me as I take a fair and unbiased look
跟进《有罪的爷爷》节目吧
on Guilty Grampa.
《有罪的爷爷》
我是肯特·布罗克曼
This has been Kent Brockman,
永别了电视新闻
bailing on TV news forever.
糟糕 我们该怎么办
This is horrible. What are we gonna do?
我已经订阅了
I've already subscribed.
流播客团队工作室
闲人请入
黄昏时浪漫的游轮
A romantic sunset cruise,
为一名过气的好莱坞女演员
the perfect setting for new love
与一名不为人知的老人的恋情
between a fading Hollywood actress
提供了绝佳的背景
and a fully faded old man.
但这对爱侣中只有一位能活着回来
But only one of them would return to port alive.
我是肯特·布罗克曼
I'm Kent Brockman,
正在为您播出《有罪的爷爷》
and this is Guilty Grampa.
穿梭洗发水
嗡嗡直送
《有罪的爷爷》
Guilty Grampa is sponsored
由特调穿梭洗发水赞助播出
by Shampoo Shuttle, seasonal-flavored shampoos
穿梭洗发水 嗡嗡直送
drone-delivered direct to your shower.
《有罪的爷爷》
第一集
娱乐圈公主薇薇安·圣查梅恩
Showbiz princess Vivienne Saint Charmaine
终于找到了她的王子
had finally met her prince,
拒绝人口普查的当地人 亚伯·辛普森
local census resistor Abe Simpson.
他们一起登上了横跨春田港湾的
Together they boarded a romantic seniors cruise
浪漫的高级游轮
across Springfield Harbor.
当时是下午2点33分
It was 2:33 p.m.,
乘客们刚用完午餐
and the passengers were finishing dinner.
突然传来一阵骚动
Suddenly, there were the sounds of a commotion,
一声尖叫 然后就是落水声
a scream and then a splash.
薇薇安就不见了
Vivienne was gone,
可事情的真♥相♥也随她而去了吗
but did the truth go overboard with her?
我邀请了一位那艘恐怖游轮上的乘客
I have with me a woman who was on that fatal cruise,
恶毒编外教师 爱涅·史金纳
disgraced docent Agnes Skinner.
和我讲讲那晚发生了什么
Tell me about that night.
我吃自助时听到一个女人尖叫 "亚伯 不要"
I was at the buffet when I heard a woman scream, "Abe, don't!"
然后听到落水的声音
Then a splash.
接下来你做了什么
What did you do next?
我当时看到他们在上新一轮的虾塔
I saw they were refilling the shrimp tower,
我就过去把虾都摸了一遍
so I had to get over there and touch them all.
"亚伯 不要"
"Abe, don't."
薇薇安说这句话会是什么意思呢
Whatever could Vivienne have meant by that?
亚伯·辛普森 嫌犯审讯记录
警方审讯了亚伯·辛普森
Naturally, the police questioned Abe Simpson.
他唯一的证词竟然是"我不记得了"
His only defense? "I don't remember."
那老头死不承认 真没礼貌
The old man would not confess. Rude.
我们就在他手上取了样
So we swabbed his hands
看看推人检测结果是不是阳性
to see if they tested positive for pushing.
结果人家说"没有这种检测"
It came back as "No such test."
我们就只能把他放了
The only thing we could do was let him go.
或许老话说得没错
So maybe the old saying is true.
欲擒故纵 才能抓到真凶
To catch a murderer, you have to set them free to murder again.
《有罪的爷爷》到此结束
This has been Guilty Grampa.
这个播客烂透了
Ah, that podcast sucks butts.
爷爷才不是禽兽
Grampa's not some monster.
我在屋里吗
Am I inside?
薇薇安和我上了游轮 吃了午饭
Vivienne and I went on the cruise, had dinner,
喝酒 跳舞 接着喝酒
drinks, dancing, drinks.
其他的事我记不清了
The rest is kind of a blur.
等我回过神来 警♥察♥就告诉我说
And the next thing I know, the cops are telling me
-我是个嫌犯[别人感兴趣的对象] -怎么可能
- I'm a person of interest. - That's ridiculous.
从来没人对你有过兴趣 从来没有
You've never been a person of interest... Not for one second.
我什么都不记得了
I don't remember nothing.
但我绝对不会伤害薇薇安
But I would never hurt Vivienne.
她是我最后的情缘 现在永远离去了
She was my last chance at love, and now she's gone forever.
该嘘嘘了
Whoop. Got to take a zizz.
好了 快 他在洗手间
Okay, quick, he's in the bathroom,
我们只有一个小时讨论
so we only have an hour to talk.
我数到三
Now, on the count of three,
说出你认为他有罪 还是无罪
say if you think he's guilty or not.
一 二 三
One, two, three.
-无罪 -老实说 我觉得他什么事
- Not guilty! - If I'm being honest, I think he's capable
都干得出来 包括谋杀
of anything, up to and including murder.
你是在说你亲爹
You're talking about your own father.
爷爷是个好人
Grampa's a good man,
镇里的人都知道
and everyone in this town knows that.
你们在包庇杀人犯
You're protecting a killer!
杀人犯
Murderer!
爷爷把我最喜欢的性感电视女郎推下了船
Grampa boat-pushed my favorite sexy TV lady.
我有一张海报 她坐在特兰斯艾姆豪车上
I had a poster where she was on top of a Trans Am
上面写着 "调♥教♥好的机器"
and it said, "Finely-tuned machine."
指的是她和那辆车
It referred to both her and the car!
犯罪播客应该揭露真♥相♥
Crime podcasts should be about exposing truth,
而不是不负责任地猜测
not irresponsible speculation.
要是肯特像我们一样了解爷爷就好了
If only Kent knew Grampa like we do,
他会叫那节目《无罪的爷爷》
he would call that show Not Guilty Grampa,
我敢打赌那会吸引更多听众
which I bet would get even more listeners.
瞧 它立住了
Hey! We got an ender.
立起来了
Ender!
立起来了
Ender!
播客 四月季刊
10个主导对话小技巧
车♥库♥还是地下室:争论继续
"我是如何进入喜剧的"口述历史
播客榜单
真实犯罪-老年区
1.有罪的爷爷
3.到我坪下
4.好人长寿
5.行走的人
6.软椅惊魂
7.铁证悬案
2.A.A.R.I.P.
侯默 说说你熟识并深爱的亚伯·辛普森吧
Homer, tell me about the Abe Simpson you knew and loved.
我确实了解他
I mean, I knew him.
他有虐待倾向吗
Was he abusive?
当然
Oh, sure.
他是个安静的独行侠
I mean, he was a quiet loner,
但他想施虐时就施虐
but he could be abusive when he wanted to be.
真的吗
辛普森一家
The Simpsons
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