辛普森一家
The Simpsons S32E09
Part 2
March 1, 2021, 2 p.m.
我每天都来这渴望学点什么
I come here every day eager to learn
而你却总贬低我
and you just put me down
还一直抱怨自己的工作
and complain about your job.
知道你现在是什么样吗
In the end, what are you?
你墨守成规
You're just somebody who works off a formula.
毫无活力
That leaves no room for passion,
个人努力
Individual effort,
或者学习本身的过程
Or the process of learning itself.
也就是说
In other words,
你是个让人丧气的骗子
you're an uninspiring hack!
马上道歉
Apologize immediately.
不 我说的是实话
No. I told the truth.
实话在这间教室里毫无地位
The truth has no place in this classroom.
丽莎 我罚你留堂
Lisa, go to detention.
留堂 留堂 留堂
Detention. Detention. Detention.
丽莎·辛普森 留堂
通往留堂处
一只被你焦虑地咬过的铅笔
One pencil with nervous teeth marks.
一枚拼字比赛获胜的缎带 掉色了
One spelling bee winner's ribbon, faded.
四分之一盎司的大♥麻♥
One quarter ounce of marijuana.
那是铅笔屑
Those are pencil shavings.
这事威利的烟枪说了算
Willie's water pipe will be the judge of that.
留堂处
留堂者 放下一切希望和口香糖
关注现实
提倡阅读
看看你的胳膊
Look at those arms.
上面什么都没有 适合添个时髦的纹身
Blank canvas for a sharpie tattoo.
鲜肉
其实我是一名素食主义者
Um, I'm actually a vegetarian.
行 那你觉得甜菜怎么样
Okay, how do you feel about beets?
这是不是那种会害得我被打的问题
Is this one of those questions that sets me up to get punched?
你试试就知道了
Only one way to find out.
没错 告诉我们你觉得甜菜怎么样
Yeah, tell us your opinion of beets.
别欺负她 你们这些混♥蛋♥
Leave her alone, you jackals.
这是世上最厉害的臭气弹
This is the largest stink bomb they make.
它臭得太厉害了 所以只能由没有鼻子的科学家
So powerful it could only be developed by a scientist
研发出来
without a nose.
那他怎么知道它的效果呢
How did he know it worked?
他用自己的耳朵闻了闻
He smelled it with his ears.
那个女孩是我的人
And that girl's with me.
我们终于在这里碰面了
Well, well, well. Together at last.
我什么都没做错
I didn't do anything wrong.
胡佛老师应该被留堂 而不是我
Miss Hoover should be in detention, not me.
有专门为老师准备的留堂
There is a detention for teachers.
做老师本身就是被留堂
It's called being a teacher.
让我来给你介绍一下我的世界
Now, let me show you my world.
很多帮派都会收你的
Lots of gangs will recuit you.
杰出七岁帮
The magnificent seven-year-olds.
迟缓帮 地狱角帮
Tardy incorporated. Hell's angles.
我最强大的武器在我的脑袋里 我的黏液
My greatest weapon is inside my head. My mucus.
留堂处 廷伯伍德老师
廷伯伍德老师
Ms. Timberwood!
在这里 她不认识你的
In here, she doesn't know you.
她以前管我叫阳光
She used to call me sunshine.
我管所有女孩都叫阳光女孩
I call all the girls sunshine.
所有男生都叫酷哥
I call all the boys joe cool.
你说过我是唯一的酷哥
Oh, you said I was the only joe cool!
那其实是薰衣草 所以谢了
That's actually lavender, so, thank you.
小天使
沐浴气泡弹
薰衣草味
哎呀天呐
Ay caramba!
不
No...!
不用给我盛饭
No dinner for me.
我悲痛得吃不下
I'm too miserable to eat again.
这样我也不好受
This is pretty rough on me, too.
拜托把被子拉下来吧
Please pull the covers off.
不要 我不想活在被窝外的世界
No, I don't want to live in the world above the covers.
我花了好多心思在我的项目上
I worked so hard on my mobile.
我知道 胡佛老师不太友善
I know. And Miss Hoover wasn't very nice.
谢谢你 妈妈
Thank you, mom.
但你也不太友善
But you weren't very nice, either.
什么
What?!
这是在野营吗
Hey, are we camping out here?
我有个极佳的篝火故事
Because I have a great campfire story.
关于一个被自己的手背叛的男人
About a man betrayed by his own hand.
什么 天呐 是你
What the...? Oh, oh, my god, it's you!
-侯默 -怎么了 马姬
- Homer. - Yes, Marge.
我正鼓励丽莎去道歉呢
I was going to encourage Lisa to apologize.
但我没理由道歉
But I shouldn't have to.
女人总是道歉是因为
Women say "I'm sorry" constantly
男人让我们觉得有必要
because men make us feel like we have to apologize
为自己的存在道歉
for existing
但他们却为所欲为
while they do whatever they like.
苗浩斯要来过夜
Yo. Milhouse is sleepin' over.
-棒极了 -什么
- Awesome. - Huh?
准备好道歉了吗 丽莎
Ready to apologize, Lisa?
我们都知道这里的利害关系
We both know what's at stake here.
耶鲁大学
慢点 丽莎
Not so fast, Lisa.
你没有向你的二年级老师道歉
You didn't apologize to your second grade teacher,
而我们耶鲁最擅长道歉
and all we do at Yale is apologize.
*抱歉 抱歉 抱歉*
*Sorry, sorry, sorry*
*请原谅我们的古怪*
*Please excuse our quirks*
*古怪 古怪 古怪*
*Quirks, quirks, quirks*
*可否侧耳倾听*
*Won't you kindly listen*
*我们这些富有的男性混♥蛋♥*
*to us rich male jerks*
*我们免费歌♥唱*
*We sing for free*
听好 丽莎 我掌控你的未来
Okay, Lisa, your future is in my hands.
我 我不抱歉
I'm-I'm... not sorry!
我只是很庆幸下一年
I'm just glad I won't have you next year
你不是我的老师
as a teacher.
我可能会升到三年级专来折磨你
I might just move to third grade to torment you.
你这招就太阴毒了
That would be a real hack move.
给我改掉
Freshen it up.
吃肉等于谋杀
爱了
Love it.
我这个人从来没说过对不起
Personally, I never say I'm sorry.
我只说"对木起" 老师们会听懂的
I say "i'm soggy." teachers hear what they want.
巴仔·辛普森 是你把这些短笛黏在一起对吧
Bart simpson, did you glue these recorders together?
对木起哈
Soggy.
原谅你
Forgiven.
正好给我用来捅蜂巢
And Willie can use it to whack the hornets' nests.
来呀 是男人就来跟我打一架
Yeah, come on and fight me like a man.
你们哪只是负责谈判的
Uh, which one of you does the negotiating?
胡佛老师
Miss hoover?
关于我们之前闹的矛盾
In reference to our recent difficulty,
我想说
I would just like to say
对木起
I'm soggy.
你刚是说了"对木起"吗
Did you just say "i'm soggy"?
你不仅觉得我是骗子 还认为我是个傻子吧
In addition to a hack, you must think I'm a fool.
留堂时间翻倍
double detention.
现在谁对木起啦
Who's soggy now?
唱的这句算作你们本学期音乐课的全部内容
And that counts as your music education for the semester.
接被关留堂的你回家的感觉有点奇妙
Feels kind of funny driving you home from detention.
我得多花一点时间
Yeah, well, it's gonna take me a few minutes
来适应留堂教室外的生活
To get used to being on the outside.
亲爱的 点开我发你的广♥告♥链接
Honey, play the ad I forwarded you.
人际关系出现了问题吗
Having trouble with a relationship?
那就来春田教育服务中心吧
Come to the springfield education annex.
我们会教您如何诚实地沟通
We'll teach you how to communicate honestly,
如何让谎话令人信服
How to lie convincingly,
以及如何做到比较真心地道歉
And how to apologize and mostly mean it.
道歉
Apologize?
春田教育服务中心
Springfield education annex,
地址 一号♥路第三个废弃商场内
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