辛普森一家
The Simpsons S32E06
Part 3
March 1, 2021, 2 p.m.
Really?
你的母亲是怎么处理这一切的
And your mother, how did she deal with all this?
我不太清楚
You know, I'm not really sure.
她在我很小的时候就不知所踪
She disappeared when I was quite young.
又一个从他生命中销声匿迹的女人
Another woman in his life vanished.
在下面放一些雾角 竖着放
Stick some foghorns under that and put it up stat.
等等 这可能听起来很糟
Uh, wait, that may have sounded bad.
你不会播出吧
You're not gonna podcast that, are you?
你不会播出吧
You're not gonna podcast that, are you?
想象一下世界上最糟糕的人
Imagine the worst person in the world.
现在想象他的父亲 那就是亚伯
Now imagine his father. That's Abe.
他的室友不断死亡
His roommates kept turning up dead.
90岁的人不会突然停止呼吸
90-year-old people don't just suddenly stop breathing.
拜托
Come on.
有次他试图杀我
He murdered me once.
因此我的家人从不拜访我
That's why my family doesn't visit.
我的祖父不仅是个伟人
My grandfather is not only a great man,
还是二战的英雄
he's a World War Two hero.
他们都叫他"强尼火焰喷射器"
They used to call him "Johnny Flamethrower".
他说火会告诉他该烧谁
He said the fires would tell him who to burn.
流播客
然后我就问伊拉·格拉斯 “NPR”是什么意思
So I say to Ira Glass, "'NPR'? What does that stand for?"
“零收入”吗
'No Possible Revenue'?
肯特 我是雅德丽·史密斯
Hey, Kent. I'm Yeardley Smith.
你的声音听着好熟 你上过什么节目吗
Your voice sounds familiar. Where do I know you from?
我有一个真实犯罪播客《小镇混混》
From my true crime podcast Small-Town Dicks,
就没了
and nowhere else.
我能给你一点建议吗
Can I give you a word of advice?
傻子才会不回一句“赶紧说完”
I'd be a fool not to say, "Make it quick."
虽然报道谋杀和残害案件挺有趣
As much as it's fun to report on murder and mayhem,
但这些播客是在指控现实中的人犯了严重罪行
these podcasts are accusing real people of serious crimes.
没有确凿的证据 我们可能会毁掉他们的生活
Without solid proof, we can ruin lives.
没毛病 我们确实统治着全宇宙
You're right. We do rule the universe.
我能问你一个问题吗
Can I ask you a question?
- 当然 - 谁在帮你卖♥♥周边产品
-Of course. -Who's doing your merch?
我一顶帽子只赚两美元 一个杯子赚五十美分
Because I'm only netting two dollars a hat and 50 cents a mug
我的宝宝衫都要亏本了
and I'm getting completely screwed on onesies.
今日播客内容
Today's podcast has a killer bombshell
一则关于那位爆♥炸♥性杀手的爆♥炸♥性新闻
about the killer of the bombshell.
爷爷的杀人动机竟然是 钱
Grampa's motive for murder? Money.
原来 薇薇安·圣查梅恩
You see, Vivienne Saint Charmaine
有一份百万美元的人寿保险单
had a million-dollar life insurance policy.
受益人正是她的新男友
Ooh, and the beneficiary was her new boyfriend,
亚伯拉罕·J·辛普森
Abraham J. Simpson.
在她被淹死的那一刻
The moment she drowned,
有罪爷爷正在百万现金里游泳呢
Guilty Grampa was swimming in cash.
这动机够合理吧
Motive enough for you?
犯罪现场还原
嫌疑人 案件相关人 受害者 已知事实 虾塔 警方报道 目击者证词 动机
他杀人是为了钱
He did it for money.
不 这不可能
No. No, no, no.
我不管 我了解爷爷
I don't care what it looks like. I know Abe.
他决不会做这么可怕的事
He would never do something so horrible.
我竟然做了这么可怕的事
I did something so horrible.
我终于听了那该死的播客
I finally listened to that dad-gum podcast...
它还让我相信了 我就是杀人凶手
...and it convinced me I'm a killer.
我自首
Lock me up.
春田地图
你因剧透罪被逮捕了
You're under arrest for spoiling the ending!
我才听到第二集
I was only on episode two.
哦对 兼谋杀罪
Oh, and for murder. Yeah.
春田法♥院♥
亚伯拉罕·辛普森 如你本人所述
Abraham Simpson, as you have pled guilty
是你杀了薇薇安·圣查梅恩
to the murder of Vivienne Saint Charmaine,
我判你终身监禁
I'm giving you life in prison.
我还将给你的播客打五星好评
And I'm giving your podcast five stars
但不留评论
but no comment.
谁这么闲
Who has the time?
春田监狱
死囚牢房♥窗口
你为什么要认罪 爸爸
Why did you confess, Dad?
家里大部分人都相信你是无辜的
A majority of the family believes you're innocent.
但是肯特·布罗克曼的播客太令人信服了
But what that Kent Brockman said about me was so darn convincing.
我在听到第四集的时候也开始怀疑我自己了
I began to suspect myself around episode four.
但听到第六集的时候
Then by episode six,
我又觉得凶手是那个脾气暴躁的水手
it seemed like it was that hot-tempered deckhand.
听到第九集时 我又认定凶手就是我了
But by episode nine, I knew I'd done it,
就像穿梭洗发水引领头发护理未来一样笃定
just as sure as Shampoo Shuttle is the future of hair care.
我们不能放弃希望
We can't give up hope.
我知道眼下爷爷情况很糟
I know Grampa's situation looks bad,
但史金纳夫人的话 保险金的事 都...
with the insurance money, what Mrs. Skinner heard, but...
他的坦白也没起到作用 但是...
And the confession didn't help, either, but-but...
继续说 妈妈
Take it, Mom.
但 但 但是
But-but-but...
天呐 我不确定还有"但是"
Oh, my God. I'm not sure I have a "But."
我也不确定有"但是"了
I'm not sure I have a "But," either.
我觉得可能就是爷爷干的
I think Grampa might have done it.
他有可能 他完全有可能
He might have. He totally might have.
不
Oh, no.
我们都受过真正的犯罪分♥析♥训练
With all our true crime training,
怎么可能失手
how could we have missed this?
我们已变成我们最憎恨的人
We've become the people that we hate most
大家都蒙在鼓里 竟看不清浅显真♥相♥
the family members too deluded to see the obvious truth.
声明一下 我愿相信
Uh, for the record, I was willing to believe
在没有证据的情况下他就是凶手
he was the murderer back when there was no evidence.
只是说说而已
Just saying.
稍后再来
Come back later.
我们正身陷一场可怕的审判泥潭之中
Were in the middle of a terrible reckoning.
我有个惊天医学消息
I have shocking medical news
这将会让你父亲的案子大白于天下
that will blow your father's case wide open.
我们能去哪个公共场所发表一下吗
Is there somewhere public we can talk?
穿梭洗发水讲堂
《有罪的爷爷》终场直播
欢迎全世界听众以及我们引以为傲的宇航员
Welcome, listeners around the world and our proud astronauts
在黑暗太空中还不忘听播客
downloading in the darkness of space.
今晚我们将给有罪的爷爷这个故事画上句号♥
Tonight we both wrap up and drag out the story of Guilty Grampa.
大家将有幸聆听这场滔天罪行之中的
You'll get a chance to hear from the hottest stars
当红明星之轶事
of this heinous crime.
我们爱你 他人的悲剧
We love you, someone else's tragedy!
我怀着激动的心情欢迎 《有罪的爷爷》
And I'm thrilled to announce the Guilty Grampa
电视剧的主演 斯卡斯加德
streaming series, starring the Skarsgard
事件自他而始 有请斯特兰
that started it all, Stellan.
我只有交易备忘录
I only have a deal memo.
还没有最终的署名文件
I haven't signed the final paperwork.
肯特 有件事必须让你知道
Kent, there's something you've got to know.
也必须公之于众
Something everyone's got to know.
在薇薇安失踪那天
On the day of Vivienne's disappearance,
她和亚伯去做了一次夫妻结肠镜检查
she and Abe went in for a couple's colonoscopy.
他们每人都吞了一个肠镜微缩胶囊
They each swallowed a tiny IntestoPod,
用来记录内部数据
which records internal data
它能在24小时内发出精确的GPS信♥号♥♥
and broadcasts a precise GPS signal for 24 hours.
由此可见
You can see here.
春田港湾
薇薇安 亚伯拉罕·辛普森
当时薇薇安从船上脱离 径直朝岸边移♥动♥
Once Vivienne fell off the boat, she moved directly to shore.
她没有溺水 她在游水
She didn't sink. She swam.
薇薇安的信♥号♥♥显示她随后向南移♥动♥
Vivienne's signal then traveled south
抵达了墨西哥的芝华塔尼欧度假村
to a resort in Zihuatanejo, Mexico,
墨西哥
薇薇安
芝华塔尼欧
在那里牛油果酱就放在桌旁随处可得
where the guacamole is made table-side.
薇薇安还活着 她是在假死
Vivienne is alive. She faked her death.
也就是说爷爷没有杀人
Which means Grampa didn't kill anyone.
但你的播客却让他以为是他干的
But your podcast convinced him that he did.
我也正想说这话
I wanted to say that part.
这一切都很有趣
Well, that's, uh, that's all very interesting,
但是这样就和我播客的题目不符了
辛普森一家
The Simpsons
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