辛普森一家
The Simpsons S32E12
Part 3
March 23, 2021, 9:47 a.m.
It's got lots of extra carrots for a growing bunny.
等把你养肥了以后
And when you grow fat enough,
我就把你按进沸腾的水里
I'll stick you in a bubbling pot of water...
给你洗个周六香香澡
for your Saturday bath.
我太爱你了
Oh, I love you.
这个谎言彻底改变了巴仔
This lie has made Bart a new man.
我焦虑症要发作了
And it's giving me anxiety attacks.
放松 放轻松
Relax. Relax.
好焦虑
Ugh, so anxious.
-这是什么 -你长疙瘩啦
- What's this? - You've got bumpies!
我给你一些润肤露
Let me give you some lotion.
皮疹治疗包
宅男湿疹膏 万无一失药具包 非运动员足部专用膏 成人皮疹药
我没事
I'll be fine.
我只用洗个安神澡 再好好睡一觉
I just need a calming bath and a good night's sleep.
《佛陀 你在吗 我是丹增》
我的天呐
Oh, my God!
我帮他活在了一个会毁掉他的谎言里
I'm helping him live a lie that may ruin him!
有时压力过大会引起荨麻疹
Sometimes tension hives are the result of inner stress.
有什么事在困扰你吗
Is anything bothering you, young lady?
就是一些平常的事 全球灾难
Just the usual-- global disasters,
人工智能取代人类
artificial intelligence taking over,
迈克·彭斯的死鱼眼
the cold, dead eyes of Mike Pence.
我应该推荐你去心理咨♥询♥的
Well, I could refer you to psychological counseling,
但能忍♥忍♥就过去的问题何必解决呢
but why fix what you can numb?
所以我还是给你开点
So I'm gonna prescribe some
瞌睡虫糊涂蛋儿童阿普唑仑镇定咀嚼片
Sleepy and Dopey's children's chewable Xanax.
我不想让女儿吃药
I don't want my daughter on meds.
你看着很不开心 马姬
You seem upset, Marge.
向你的医生要点曲唑酮
Talk to your doctor about Troxodone.
你就是我的医生
You are my doctor.
可不是嘛 真想不到
Well, well, well. Fancy that.
曲唑酮
这会让你的生活变成
This is gonna turn your life
一片宁静的僵尸绿洲
into an oasis of peaceful zombitude.
副作用可能包括耳朵出血
Side effects may include bleeding out your ears,
葡萄牙人的傲慢 飘忽的眉毛
portuguese insolence, wandering eyebrow,
极度渴望死亡 用别人看待你的方式
intense longing for death, and seeing yourself
看待你自己
as others see you.
改进日
礼堂
就算是拉尔夫也能崛起
最后一个学生用完虱子梳
When the last student finishes using the lice comb,
请把它传回来
please pass it back up.
现在颁发今天的主要奖项
Now our major award of the day.
给我的
For me?
但我的书架上已经堆满了荣誉
But my shelves are already groaning with kudos.
不是给你的
Not for you.
是给唯一一个在校史上
For the only student who's shown dramatic improvement
有显著进步的学生 巴仔·辛普森
in the history of this school: Bart Simpson!
让我们为他鼓掌
Let's hear it for him.
不欢呼我就记名了
I'll take names if I don't hear cheers.
巴仔 巴仔 巴仔 巴仔 巴仔
Bart! Bart! Bart! Bart! Bart!
我只想说声谢谢你 克老师
I just want to say thank you, Mrs. K.
你写了一本关于教学的书
You wrote the book on teaching.
如今 他的妹妹 丽莎·辛普森
And now, his sister, Lisa Simpson,
将带我们唱一曲 因为他是个快乐的好人
will lead us in a round of "For He's A Jolly Good Fellow."
什么
What?
*因为他是个快乐的好人*
*For he's a jolly good fellow*
去激光枪水上乐园
To the laser tag water park!
上高速 那样更快
Take the freeway! It's quicker!
*这一切都是基于一个谎言*
*All of it's based on a lie*
*这一切都是基于一个谎言*
*All of it's based on a lie*
*因为他是个大骗子*
*For he's a jolly big phony*
*只有我知道原因*
*And only I know why*
大会项目二
Assembly item number two:
-不要吸毒 -我没有
- Don't take drugs. - I don't!
这是我们有史以来最成功的集♥会♥
Our most successful assembly ever.
多亏克老师 我什么都不怕 连长除法都不怕
Thanks to Mrs. K, I fear nothing. Not even long division.
如果有余数呢
What if there's a remainder?
还是有点怕的
Still a little scary.
你想考好 但你都不学习
You wanted to do well but you're not even studying.
有了好状态 就不需要学习
You don't have to study when you're on a roll.
你听到他们为我欢呼了
You heard them cheering me.
巴仔 巴仔 巴仔 不是丽莎
Bart! Bart! Bart! Not Lisa!
我真希望你没让他们这么做
I wish you hadn't had them do that.
知道我现在要做什么吗
You know what I'm gonna do now?
参加拼字比赛
I'm gonna enter the spelling bee.
今日拼字比赛
一个六寸奖杯
颁给过时技能
真要去参加
Um, really? Just like that?
来个现场提问怎么样
How about a little reality check?
拼下 风动
Spell "Pneumatic."
没问题
No problem.
第一个字母你想用N 不是吗
You're gonna start it with an "N," Aren't you?
聚光灯一打到我 我就知道
I'll know when the spotlight hits me.
两个聪明的孩子
Two smart kids.
巴仔 拼字比赛是很公开的
Bart, spelling bees are very public.
所以如果你不幸没答好
So if, by some fluke, you don't do well,
会在全校面前丢脸的
you'll be embarrassed in front of the whole school.
拼字比赛介边走
比你上次一屁♥股♥坐到花生酱杯上还丢脸
Worse than the time you sat on the peanut butter cup.
大家知道那是怎么回事
People knew what it was.
不 他们不知道
No, they didn't.
今日拼字比赛
让他吸取教训吧 让他吃点苦头
Let him learn his lesson. Let him gain from it.
轮不到你去救他
It's not up to you to save him.
第一位参赛选手是我们进步最大的学生
The first contestant is our most-improved student,
巴仔·辛普森 你要拼的单词是"插曲"
Bart Simpson, and the word is "Interlude."
你能用这词造个句吗
Um, can you use it in a sentence?
我跟我的哥哥有个小插曲
I need an interlude with my brother!
我有事跟你解释
I have to explain something.
过时 O B
Obsolescence-- O-B...
你不用解释 我可以理解
You don't have to explain. It's totally understandable.
你只是嫉妒了 我以前也和你一样迷茫
You're just jealous. I used to be a mixed-up kid like you.
你只是没读到属于你的那本日记
You're just not reading the right diaries.
谄媚
Obsequious...
巴仔 日记里有一页你还没看到
Bart, there's a page in the diary you didn't read yet.
对不起
I'm sorry.
真的对不起
I'm so sorry.
我只是不想你受伤
I just don't want you hurt.
"我特别的小家伙有着毛茸茸的尾巴"
"My special little guy has the fluffiest tail"?
还觉得她是在说你吗
Still think she's talking about you?
有可能 我在学校戏剧里演过麋鹿
Could be. I played a reindeer in the school play.
词典
有点奇怪 因为那并不是圣诞节的演出
Which was weird, because it wasn't a Christmas play.
继续读
Keep reading.
"在我爱抚他时会发出咕噜咕噜的声音"
"Purring when I pet him"?
"挠着他项圈上的铃铛"
"Scratching at the bell on his collar"?
"总是乖乖地用他的猫砂盒"
"Always using his litter box appropriately"?
原来有潜力的并不是我
Oh, it wasn't me who had potential.
是只该死的猫
It's a frickin' cat!
终于没疹子了
Oh, no bumps.
-我把你的晚餐拿来了 -没胃口
- I brought you dinner. - Don't want it.
我就是个差劲的孩子 无可救药
I'm just a loser kid, and that's all I will ever be.
亲爱的
Oh, honey...
妈妈 如果你现在试着安慰我
Mom, I'm gonna go over the edge
我可能会抓狂的
if you try to make me feel better right now.
我知道你一直在看艾娜的日记
So, I understand you've been reading Edna's diary.
是的 对不起
Yeah, I'm sorry.
但愿《圣经》里有关于宽恕的内容
I sure hope there's something in the Bible about forgiveness.
孩子 我不是来批评你的
Son, I'm not here to judge you.
好奇心是魔鬼最锋利的武器之一
Curiosity is one of the devil's sharpest tools.
所以我洗澡时从不低头往下看
That's why I don't even look down in the shower.
只抬头盯着上帝给予的滚烫热水
Eyes always up into God's scalding water.
我就直说了吧 我是来告诉你一些
Okay, I'll get to the point. I'm here to tell you
辛普森一家
The Simpsons
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