乐一通秀场（2011）

The Looney Tunes Show S02E21

Part 2 March 10, 2021, 2:10 p.m.

which is probably an improvement.
毕竟直到今天
Considering, up till now,
你这一生都只是个
you've spent your entire life
没用的人
as a "lame duck."
是幸运饼干耶
Ooh, fortune cookies.
"幸福和成功都指日可待"
"Happiness and prosperity are just around the corner."
听着真不错呀
That sounds good.
"你很可爱而且招人喜欢"
"You are charming and well liked."
这句不是预测吧
Well, not really a fortune,
更像是观察报告
more like an observation.
你们的饼干吃着像纸一样吗
Did your guys' cookies taste like paper?
怪不得我至今都毫无成就
This is the reason I've never succeeded at anything,
因为大家不喜欢鸭子
because people don't like ducks.
我觉得是因为大家都不喜欢你
I think it's because people don't like you.
不可能
No way.
如果在我和别人之间选择
If it's between me and the other guy
做律师事务所的搭档
to become partner at the law firm,
他们会选那个人
they're gonna pick the other guy.
只是因为我是只鸭子
Solely because I'm a duck.
也是因为你不是律师
And also, you're not a lawyer.
那我为什么不是律师呢
And why do you think that is?
因为你很懒吗
Because you're lazy?
因为我是一只鸭子
Because I am a duck,
大家都不喜欢鸭子
and people don't like ducks.
伙计们我把你们的信拿进来了
Hey, guys, I brought in your mail.
你好像也都拆开了啊
It looks like you opened it, too.
我从邮箱走到大门时感觉很无聊嘛
Well, I got bored between the mailbox and the front door.
大部分都是账单
It's mostly bills, but
但这一封你应该会喜欢哟
but I think you're gonna like this one.
他们希望你能主持今年的
They want you to host this year's
皇家橡树格伦橡树奥克伍德橡树选美大赛
Royal Oaks, Glen Oaks, Oakwood Oaks beauty pageant.
为什么找我呀
Why me?
信上说 "因为你很可爱而且被狠揍过"
Well, it says here "Because you are charming and well licked."
那是"喜爱"
That's "Liked."
好吧你可别炫耀了
Ok, well, you don't have to brag.
我不想主持选美大赛
I don't want to host a beauty pageant.
兔宝宝这不只是一次选美大赛
Bugs, it's a lot more than just a beauty pageant.
这会给年轻女孩们颁发奖学金呢
It's a competition that awards scholarships to young women.
去参加吧你需要做的
Come on. All you have to do
就是到场然后宣布 "本次比赛的赢家是"
is show up and say, "And the winner is."
这是世界上最容易的工作了
It's the easiest job in the world.
好吧
Eh, ok.
不过你怎么知道这些的呢
How do you know about all this anyway?
两年前我参加了这个比赛
I was a contestant 2 years ago,
但因为我的才艺所以没有入赛
but then I was disqualified because of my talent.
你的才艺是什么
What was your talent?
- 驯狮 - 你还会驯狮啊
- Lion taming. - You know how to tame lions?
也不太会啦
Not very well.
我大概是中下等水平吧
I'd say I'm probably just below average.
简直难以置信
Unbelievable!
我查遍整个网络
I've read the entire internet,
哪里都找不到关于鸭子的正面观点
and there's not one positive thing about ducks anywhere.
罗拉兔你怎么看待鸭子
Lola, what do you think about ducks?
不知道为什么这么问
I don't know. Why?
因为我是一只鸭子
Because I'm a duck.
你说什么我一直以为
What? I always thought
你是乌鸦呢你确定吗
you were a crow. Are you sure?
鸭子们不都是
Aren't ducks the ones
有大大的海狸牙齿和尾巴吗
with those big beaver teeth and that big beaver tail?
那是海狸啦
Those are beavers.
所以你是海狸吗
So, you're a beaver?
算了吧
Forget it.
真是一只敏感的海狸呢
Yo, that is one touchy beaver.
哎哟我记得...
Why, I remember...
我记得鸡年的时候
I say, I remember when it was the Year of the Rooster.
就在那一年
Why, that was the year.
改变了我的人生
That everything changed for me.
在那之前我只是农场里一只
Before that, I was just a
连鸣都不打的公鸡
cock-a-doodle-do-nothing on a farm,
看看如今的我
and look at me now.
这和鸭子有什么关系呀
What does that have to do with ducks?
哦对我们在说鸭子
Oh, right. Ducks.
卡罗尔把最新的动物
Carol, bring me the latest animal
人气指数表拿来
popularity index.
动物人气指数是什么
What's the animal popularity index?
是一张名单罗列了所有的动物
It's a list... I say, a list of every animal
以受欢迎度来排序
ranked in order of popularity.
我看看
I say, hmm.
鸭子名列六十四位呀
Ducks are ranked 6♥4♥th?
我恐怕... 鸭子有形象问题呢孩子
I'm afraid... I say, I'm afraid ducks have an image problem, son.
你需要一些好的公共关系
What you need is some good PR.
听起来不错呢
Ooh, that sounds good.
我好久没有吃过花生沙拉酱三明治了
I haven't had a peanut butter and ranch sandwich in forever.
你能给我做一份吗亲爱的
Would you mind, hon?
我不需要饮料
I don't need a beverage.
不是我说的是公共关系
No, PR. Public relations
就是舆♥论♥影响
influence public opinion.
因此我们还有很多相关工作要做
And based on that, we're gonna have to do a lot of influencing.
要怎么做呢
What to do,
该如何做呢
I say, what to do.
我知道了
That's it!
你去上《针锋相对》这个节目
We're gonna get you on "Tit For Tat."
卡罗尔快进来
Carol, get in here.
《针锋相对》是什么
What's "Tit For Tat?"
那是收视率最高的新闻节目
It's the most-watched news program in the country.
你要当着全美国的人
You'll make the case for ducks
为鸭子们做辩护
to all of America.
达菲鸭作为整个种族的
Hmm. Daffy Duck as the lead spokesperson
代表发言人
for an entire species.
我喜欢
I like it.
卡罗尔去联♥系♥《针锋相对》的
Carol, get the producers of "Tit For Tat"
节目制♥作♥人
on the line.
好的先生
Yes, sir.
放太多沙拉酱了
Eww. Too much "R."
嘿宝宝进展得如何啦
Hey, Bun-Bun. How's it coming?
什么进展呀
How's what coming?
你大赛的开场演讲啊
Your opening monologue for the pageant?
什么演讲我以为要做的事情
Monologue? I thought all I had to do
只是出席然后说 "本次大赛的获奖者是"
was show up and say, "And the winner is."
没错但那是在演说
Right. After the monologue
以及大型音乐剧之后呀
and the big musical number,
那些舞蹈动作可复杂了呢
with all that complicated choreography.
而且去年还给获奖者献上了二重奏
Oh, and then, there's the duet for the last year's winner
当时也有很多复杂的舞蹈动作呢
which also has a lot of complicated choreography.
你一定要做好退场准备
Oh, you gotta be ready to vamp
以防换装花时太久
in case the wardrobe changes go long?
这事情总要花很长时间
And they always go long.
当然还有啦最后还有盛大谢幕
Oh, then, of course, there's the big finale,
那会有最盛大的编舞
which has the most complicated choreography of all.
有时还会有特技表演
And sometimes a stunt.
去年的主持人被装到加农炮里射出去了
Last year's host got shot out of a cannon.
他被装到加农炮里射出去了吗
He got shot out of a cannon?
其实也没有成功啦
Well, not successfully.
所以他们需要一个新主持人嘛
That's why they needed a new host.
这是一份徒劳无功的工作兔宝宝
It's a thankless job, Bugs.
你怎么会答应呢
I don't know why you agreed to do it.
小粉猪恭喜啦
Pinky, congratulations.
你是我的第一百万位顾客
You are my 1 millionth customer.
你赢得了一年份的免费披萨
You win a year's supply of free pizza
以及半年份的甜品
and half of the dessert.
天啊真是猪年行大运呢