乐一通秀场（2011）

The Looney Tunes Show S02E17

Part 2 March 10, 2021, 2:09 p.m.

以防之后包裹可能需要签收
in case you have to sign for any more packages.
我随时恭候便携桑拿浴箱的到货
I'm expecting a portable sauna any day now.
当你准备好面对真正问题的时候
When you're ready to deal with your real problem,
你知道去哪里找我
you know where to find me.
哦二级了呀
Oh, level 2.
你们最好小心点精灵们
You better watch it, elves,
因为这个仙子刚获得了翅膀
because this fairy just earned his wings.
你们觉得一条护城河就能
Hmph. You think a moat is gonna stop me
阻挡我进入城♥堡♥吗
from entering the castle?
我会飞了蠢蛋们
I'm flyin', fool.
哇精灵们居然还有枪呢
Whoa. Who knew elves had guns?
什么声音
What is that?
哦我们可能要打仗了
Oh, I think we might be at war.
你最好开电视看一下
You should probably check the TV.
看有没有上新闻
See if it's on the news.
这东西怎么调音量啊
Where's the volume on this thing?
新闻上什么都没说啊
There's nothing on the news.
那我猜没有打仗吧
Huh. Guess there's no war.
这很好
That's good.
我要上楼去玩了
Well, I think I'm gonna go upstairs and play.
我是说干活
I mean, do some work.
继续完成我的项目
Uh, work on that project I've been working on.
我也有些事情要做
I've got something I need to do, too.
如果你要做的事情
If the thing you were gonna do
是再送个包裹去约塞米蒂家
was send another package to Yosemite's house,
那别费事了
don't bother.
我换密♥码♥了
I've changed my password.
是"胡萝卜"吗
Is it "Carrot?"
不再是"胡萝卜"了
It's not "Carrot" Anymore.
那是"胡萝卜一号♥"吗
Is it "Carrot 1?"
不许碰我的电脑
Stay off my computer
是胡萝卜二号♥吗
Carrot2?
我的天啊还真好猜
My lord, he's predictable.
你在做什么呢
What are you doing?
拜托这都快要午夜了
Please. It's almost midnight.
我要错过今日特惠啦
I'm gonna miss the deal of the day.
这可是八人的帐篷啊
It's a tent that sleeps 8 people.
很舒适的呀
Comfortably.
你认识有八个人吗
You don't even know 8 people.
我可以在露营时认识嘛
Well, I'll meet some on the camping trip.
- 不行 - 我要它
- No. - I need it.
- 给我鼠标 - 让我...
- Give me that. - Let me just...
就点击一下嘛
it's just a quick click.
既然如此
You know what?
不要不要啊
No, no, no!
我的帐篷啊
My tent!
我漂亮的八人帐篷没有了
My beautiful 8-person tent is gone.
为什么这么对我
Why? Why?
新的每日特惠上了
The new deal of the day is up.
哦专业的家用打蜡套装
Ooh, a professional, in-home waxing kit.
给我鼠标
Just give me it.
你收到我的包裹了吗
You got my package?
这是《甜心俏佳人》前三季
It's the first 3 seasons of "Ally McBeal,"
在被小罗伯特·唐尼毁掉前的佳作
before Robert Downey Jr. Ruined it.
我会给你包裹
I'll give you your package
但是有一个条件
on one condition.
你要跟我去个地方
You come somewhere with me.
我知道过去
I know in the past,
我们讨论了很多我害怕承担责任的问题
we've talked a lot about my fear of commitment.
我不知道这是否
Uh, I don't know if this qualifies
意味着我有了突破
as a breakthrough or not,
但是在本周
uh, but this week,
我决定尝试网上约会了
I've decided to try online dating.
这是在做什么
What is this?
- 这是集体治疗啊 - 什么意思
- It's group therapy. - What?
我才不需要集体治疗呢
I don't need group therapy.
山姆你有什么想分享的事吗
Sam, do you have anything you'd like to share?
我这周... 遇到了挫折
I had a, uh, I had a setback this week.
我开枪打了干洗商
I shot my dry cleaner.
我用的是玩具水枪啦
Oh, it's just a water pistol,
但我... 就是一直不住手
but I... I just kept a-shootin'.
我停不下来
I couldn't stop.
我当时觉得特别生气
I just felt so angry.
你为什么会生气呢
Why were you angry?
他们没能洗掉我方巾上的污渍
They didn't get the stain out of my kerchief.
你是否想过怒气可能误导了你
Do you think your anger might have been misdirected?
这我还真没想过呢
Oh, wow. I hadn't thought of that.
原来我根本没有生他的气啊
Well, I wasn't mad at him at all.
那你实际上是在生谁的气呢
Who do you think you're actually angry with?
是那些小孩
It was those kids.
让我生气的是那些
I'm mad at all those kids
以前在操场上嘲笑我的小孩
who used to tease me on the playground.
又不是我想三年级就长胡子嘛
It's not my fault I had a mustache in third grade.
我只是想和大家一样嘛
I just wanted to be like everybody else.
没人给我这个机会呀
No one gave me a chance.
天啊
Oh, boy.
那你有什么问题呢
And what about you?
我吗我挺好的
Oh, me? Oh, I'm good.
我是说我最近很喜欢网购
I mean, I've been doing a lot of online shopping lately,
但我没有任何问题
but I don't have a problem.
至少和这些人相比
At least, not compared to these guys,
因为他们显然都疯了
who are obviously all crazy.
所以我还是走吧
So, I'm just gonna go ahead and go.
你要去哪里
Where you going?
继续回去网购吗
Do some online shopping?
我知道你们的意图
I know what you're trying to do.
你们希望我崩溃然后大哭
You want me to break down and cry
然后说我不停买♥♥东西的原因
and say that the reason I keep buying stuff
是因为我试图填补内心的空虚
is because I'm trying to fill an emotional void,
我表现出的自信也都是假象
that all this confidence is a facade,
都不真实
it's all fake,
我的内心深处
that deep down,
只是一个缺乏安全感
I'm just an insecure,
害怕需要关怀的小鸭子
scared, needy little duck
而且迫切渴望被拥抱
in desperate need of a hug.
来抱抱
Come here.
我就是这么脆弱呀
I'm just so vulnerable.
还有谁要尝尝我的厉害呀
Anyone else want some?
那个小妖精很嚣张
That goblin wanted some
然后他就倒霉了吧
and he got some.
不要啊
Oh, no!
下一位
Next.
你先吧我刚被甲虫闪电击中了
You go ahead. I just got hit by beetle lightning.
这些文件一小时后能印好
I can have these ready for you in an hour.
你现在方便吗
Is this a good time for you?
不不太方便
Uh, no. Not really.
因为我在试着考虑别人的需求
Because I'm trying to take into account
而非只顾及自己
other people's needs, not just my own.
所以如果你不方便直说就好
So, if it's not a good time for you, just tell me.
现在我不方便
It's not a good time.
很好
Ok, good.
我参与了集体治疗
I've joined a therapy group.
你可能还不知道吧
You probably don't know this about me,
我有很严重的情感问题
but I have some fairly significant emotional issues.
我知道自己平常掩饰得很完美
Now, I know I've done a good job covering them up,
但我最终打算直面它们
but I'm going to finally confront them
并且我希望能成为更好的人
in the hopes of becoming a better person.
达菲鸭我们能一会儿再...
Daffy, can we talk about this another...
我要成为会倾听的人
The kind of person who listens,
我要变得会考虑他人的想法
who takes into consideration what other people want,