开心汉堡店

Bob's Burgers S08E19

Part 4 June 29, 2020, 12:47 p.m.

Mom, please can I take you back upstairs?
我能扮鬼吗
So I can haunt?
-不行 -搞怪呢
- No. - Freak it?
不行
No!
好吧你可以的
Okay, you can do this.
你今天会成交的
You are gonna sell a house today.
不母亲节在两个妈妈之间难以取舍
Oh, no. Torn between two mothers on Mother's Day.
妈妈咪呀
Mamma Mia.
不敢相信你要在母亲节卖♥♥掉我的房♥子
I can't believe you're selling my house on Mother's Day.
我们只有这个周日有时间
It was the only Sunday we could do this.
我送你一张上面有猴子的卡片
I got you that card with the monkey on it
对你说了"我就是你的香蕉[傻子]"
that said, "I'm bananas for you."
你表现得就像个傻子
Then act like you're bananas for me!
我去开门有种口音我想试试
I'll get it! There's an accent I've been wanting to try out.
不孩子们去陪埃塞尔
No, kids, go-go keep Ethel company.
好吧埃塞尔小队回三楼去了
Fine. Team Ethel heading back to the third floor.
我不知道该怎么办我想帮茱莉亚
I don't know what to do. I want to help Julia get a sale,
但我又不想伤害老太太
but I don't want to be shady to an old lady.
我懂我们就不该来这做这种事
I know. We shouldn't have come here or done any of this.
我只是想吃虾还有好好过个母亲节
I just wanted to eat shrimp and feel fancy on Mother's Day.
我们该怎么办
What are we gonna do?
我觉得我们应该继续演下去
Look, I think we just have to keep up the act,
让另一对夫妇买♥♥下这房♥子
try to get this other couple to buy the house,
然后撤退
and then get out of here.
继续表演欺负老太太
So keep up the act, screw over an old lady,
还能在夜晚入睡
and try to sleep at night?
我更喜欢我说的那个版本
I like the way I said it better,
但没错基本就这么个计划
but yeah, that's basically the plan.
我们会下地狱的
Oh, we're going to hell.
也许我们可以去其他房♥间坐坐
Maybe there's another room we could sit in,
因为我有点
because I'm getting a little naus...
老天天啊
Oh, God. Oh, my God.
有什么大不了的
Oh, what's the big deal?
就跟水果卷差不多
It's like a Fruit Roll-Up.
-你毁了水果卷 -让我工作
- You just ruined Fruit Roll-Ups! - Just let me work.
这也许是在他卖♥♥掉房♥子前我做的最后一个了
This might be the last one I make before he sells this place.
等等你要放弃了吗就这样了吗
Wait, so you're giving up? That's it?
斯宾塞会让你把这些东西带去他家吗
Is Spencer even gonna let you bring all of these to his house?
我也许会把它们捐给儿童医院
I'll probably donate them to the children's hospital.
不不要这样对孩子们
No! Don't you do that to those kids!
我我是说很酷很酷
I-I mean, cool, cool, v-very cool.
如果你存了这么多
Seems sad if you've been saving
松鼠血却什么都没做有些悲伤
all that squirrel blood for nothing.
-你懂我吗 -我懂你
- You feel me? - I feel you.
凯尔和克莱儿在邮件里问了我很多问题
Kyle and Claire have been e-mailing me a lot of questions,
但这是他们第一次来这里
but this is their first time up here.
你们盯上这栋房♥子有一段时间了
You've been circling this property for a while,
就像饥饿但不出击的狼
like hungry wolves that don't ever actually attack.
我们准备出击了
Oh, we're gonna attack.
我们每晚都用无人机拍摄这栋房♥子
We watch the drone video of the property, like, every night.
有句话怎么说来着监视到拥有为止
You know what they say, drone it till you own it.
说的太好了凯尔
That's great, Kyle.
你看过录像太好了
That's-that's great that you've seen that video.
我也有电脑
I have a computer, too.
我妻子已经给银行打过电♥话♥了
My wife called the bank already,
贷款到拥有为止
so loan it till you own it.
等等你们不付现金吗
Wait, you're not paying cash?
那就太慢了
That's gonna slow things down for you.
不我是说是的
Oh, no, I meant I'm,
给银行放贷款然后还我
loaning money to the bank to then pay me.
你给银行贷款吗
You're loaning money to the bank?
我们当中有个人让自己尴尬了
One of us is kind of embarrassing himself right now.
我们让他们开始慌张了起作用了
We rattled them. I think it's already working.
我知道这人想打我
I know. This guy wants to fight me.
我喜欢
I love it.
水管漏水照片里没有
Ooh, water damage. That wasn't in the photos.
水我们该怎么办
"Water" We gonna do about that?
我喜欢漏水
I love that water damage.
你不喜欢吗琳琳漏水
Don't you love it, Lin? Lin, the water damage?
是的很好我喜欢
Oh, yeah, it's, great. It's real, I love it.
这里风有点大
It's a little gusty out here.
我喜欢微风
I love a little breeze.
我可以出来放风筝
I could come out here and, you know, fly my kite.
我有一个金风筝你有吗凯尔
I have a gold kite. Do you, Kyle?
你有金风筝吗因为我有
Do you have a gold kite? 'Cause I do.
我们可以把那个秋千架扔掉对吗
We could get rid of that old swing set, right?
-有点难看 -是的那是我小时候的
- Bit of an eyesore. - Yeah, it was mine as a kid.
-可怜的孩子 -秋千架
- Poor kid. - Aw, swing set.
我喜欢这间房♥
I love this room.
它只需要凯尔和克莱儿的新衣服
It just needs a fresh coat of Kyle and Claire.
或者我们打掉这堵墙那堵墙
Or we blow out this wall, blow out that wall,
把凯尔收藏的剑放在那里
and put a fresh coat of Kyle's sword collection right there.
你是说剑吗
Did you say swords?
我想到我之前也喜欢收藏剑
I-I remember when I used to be into my sword collection.
我现在喜欢矛了
I-I'm into spears now.
那是以我全家为模板的松鼠标本
That's my family in squirrel form.
我本想藏起来的
I meant to hide that.
我妈妈的第一个松鼠杰作
My mother's first squirrel-sterpiece.
她说的不是我
Her word, not mine.
我们已经看过所有想看的了
I think we've seen everything we need to see.
琳达我们搬吧
Linda, let's make a move.
要搬到这个家里来可是个大工程
It's gonna be a big move into this house.
宝贝我觉得我们要扣动扳机了
Babe, I think we pull the trigger.
-我们该这么做吗 -你觉得我们应该做吗
- Should we just do it? - You think we should do it?
-我想 -你想我就想
- I want to do it. - I want to do it if you want to do it.
-上膛开枪 -上膛并且开枪
- Cock it? Pull it? - Cock it and pull it.
好的我们要买♥♥这栋房♥子
All right. Let's buy this place.
不停谁都不能买♥♥
No, stop! Nobody should buy this house!
什么
What?
我演不下去了鲍勃
I can't do it anymore, Bob.
我们不会买♥♥ 对吗
We're not making an offer, all right?
我们对这个房♥子没兴趣
We're not interested in the house.
我们只买♥♥得起我们的公♥寓♥
We can barely afford our apartment.
公♥寓♥ 寒酸
Apartment? Gross.
我们只是假装有兴趣好让你们买♥♥下来
We're only acting interested to get you to make an offer.
我们是为了帮茱莉亚
We were just trying to help Julia,
但我觉得我们应该帮埃塞尔
but I think we're supposed to be helping Ethel.
茱莉亚对不起
Julia, I'm sorry.
谁是埃塞尔是你雇了这些人吗
Who's Ethel? Did you hire these people?
你们是想骗我们买♥♥下这栋房♥子吗
Wait, are you trying to trick us into buying this house?
不不我刚认识鲍勃和琳达
No, no. I just met Bob and Linda.
-凯尔知道吗 -克莱儿知道吗
- Kyle high club? - Claire-atin?
不要上膛不要开枪我们回家
Un-cock it, un-pull it. We're going home.
请不要走重新上膛
Please don't go. Uh, re-re-cock it.
-妈妈爸爸救命 -怎么啦
- Mommy, Daddy, help! - What is happening?
-鬼我们看到鬼了 -这房♥子闹鬼
- Ghost! We saw a ghost! - The damn house is haunted!
滚开
Leave!
人血
Person blood!
滚开
Leave!
-大家都正要走呢 -很好
- Everyone was just leaving. - Oh, good.
这场私人展示
This would probably be considered
真是糟糕透了
a very bad private showing.
我坦白这些是松鼠血不是人血
Full disclosure, this is squirrel blood, not human.
但是每只松鼠只有几十克血
but each squirrel only bleeds a few ounces,
算算吧
so do the math.
有好多松鼠
So many squirrels!
她就像水果卷一样剥它们的皮
She peels them like Fruit Roll-Ups!
茱莉亚我很抱歉
Julia, I'm so sorry.
我只是一个普通的妈妈
I'm just a mother who was looking
想过一个完美的母亲节
to have a nice Mother's Day,
事情的发展超出了我的预料